Posted in Anxiety, Spiritual awakening

Finding your voice

It can take years to find your voice and your true authenticity, where you belong. I can’t help but wonder if some may never make it, because I know that the path is steep, and not for the faint of hearts. You may have heard the call to follow your true heart, but the timing was not right and something held you back. “It will pass” you told yourself, unsure of what you were feeling. But it didn’t pass, did it, and instead it grew only stronger, so strong in fact that you could no longer ignore it.

You had no clue how your new found feelings could fit into a modern day society with certain behavioral expectations that don’t always embrace “The different”. How your taught values, morales, and guidelines could align, while you were still repressing your own calling. You didn’t know how to forget everything you’ve learned in order to be reborn into your own purposeful, self fulfilling, soul being. The process was long and hard, you stood out like a sore thumb (you thought), different but unique, beautiful and strong in the eyes of your own tribe. You couldn’t see it, you just weren’t “there” yet. Unable to recognize your worth and beauty, you only saw it as a hindrance, as if something was wrong with you. You faced confusing times where you questioned everything and where you felt lost and alone. It caused sleepless nights, loneliness, many tears, wishing to be different, to be accepted, and a heaping load of anxiety that threatened to crush you. You yearned to fit in, without realizing that it would cost you your uniqueness, your own special blueprint in order to do so. A price so high that it could never bring you happiness, nor bring you closer to who you really are. You were caught in a vicious cycle that was suffocating the pretending “You” without room for the true “You”. It all became an act, losing yourself a little more with each day, to the point of anxiety and depression. But if you are reading this, then you haven’t given up and I celebrate the true warrior spirit within you, because I know it hasn’t been easy.

My wish for you is to get there, to find your true voice and to embrace it. To stay the course and never falter, to realize that you have chased the wrong ideals, and that you are beautiful in every way. You are complete. I wish you the courage to stand by your dreams, to reach for the stars when others abandon you, when the path seems lonely and hard, and to cheer on the true desires within your heart. I wish you to never forget to listen to that voice deep inside of you and that the days have passed when you ignored it. To make a conscious choice to no longer dismiss the call out of fear of what others might think, and to recognize it as your true soul path. My wish for you is to find the strength to get up more times than you have fallen and to always view your glass as half full. To remember the silver lining in every adverse situation and to see the lessons for growth instead of the bitterness that is caused by pain.

Your voice will be loud and clear when you decide to embrace the weird, the wild, the non conformist side of your heart that has so many traits, values, and gifts. And believe it or not, there are others just like you, gorgeous, wild, and beautiful who have walked the path before you. The choice is yours and in the end our most treasured memories always have something a little wild about them, don’t they? Remember that everything you need is already deep inside of you.

~Namaste

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Posted in Spiritual awakening, Spirituality

Dharma Dragon

While landing in Iceland, I had a little layover and made my way over to one of the gift shops. With no extra time to explore the scenery of Iceland, I at least wanted a souvenir that would remind me of my layover. I’m always intrigued and fascinated by the treasures of different countries and cultures, so it was a no brainer to do a little exploring. I had no idea about the money conversion, but how bad could a bottle of water, a small square wooden guidance stave and a journal cost, right? Fifty some dollars to be exact once the receipt was handed to me. I’m not sure if I would have paid that price had I known, but I wasn’t ready to part with my new found treasure either and walked on. I’ve previously written about my guidance stave and I feel it has protected me so far. I feel that I am somehow finding my way in all of this.

The journal that attracted my attention was one of a kind and the only one I could find. It immediately drew me in and I quickly put others back on the shelf that I had considered for purchase. There was no doubt that this one was “The one”. The graphics were mesmerizing, from the colors, to the various levels of texture on the front and back. It looked multi dimensional and the shapes would dance in the reflection of the light. The inside pages were unruled which I usually don’t like as much as lines, but it was still perfect. As you already know, I purchased it. I was drawn to it despite the lines and today I learned that it was printed from forest paper. Did I feel a connection to Mother Earth? I am actually glad now that it has no lines. Sometimes you just need to draw outside the lines, and this seems as one such journey where no lines are required.

The journal has been lying around since I got here, and feels a bit like a sacred piece to me. It was special from the beginning, and was not to be wasted with random scatter. It required something special….Context with special meaning. The last couple of days have been special to me. Special when it comes to Mom and special to my own personal healing, growth and journey. I looked at the journal today and started my day smiling. I had failed to see that the journal is called the Dharma Dragon which relates to Buddhism. No wonder I felt drawn. I read up on the Dharma today, and I know that there is more meaning yet to be understood. I will touch on this when time is right and the full message is delivered.

The art was produced by Android Jones and is a result of ancient spiritual practices meeting modern day digital art. It is said that his art asks the viewer to focus on the potential of awakening, the power of the ancient third eye and the early reverberations of the time that lies before us. Jones calls himself a digital painter and is renowned for his multidimensional, spiritual driven art and performances, as well as the expanded states of consciousness they evoke. A modern day shaman with a sense of untapped potential and limitless imagination. Jones invites you to push the boundaries of perception and awaken to the possibilities of your own third eye.

It has been a frightening time and never have I been more out of my elements as I have been over the past weeks. Never have I felt more vulnerable, alone and dependent. Never have I felt more lost and found at the same time. I’ve been afraid, stretched and pulled in multiple directions. Sometimes feeling as if my heart was ripped out and other times yearning to feel every emotion. The reason for it is because I know that this is the journey of a lifetime, one that could make or break me.

The timing is right to bring this journal into use and I’m ready to push the boundaries. I am ready to make it vs. letting it break me, and for the first time since this has started, I feel sure of it. I will not accept the truths that are forced if they don’t meet my own say of how the story is going to end. Right now is a mere waiting period, a time to get acclimated, a time to remember that drastic times take drastic measures and the end I envision looks happy and I see Mom smiling.

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual awakening, Spirituality

A Zen Moment

These were the actual colors of a sunset I got to see last year. I was lucky enough to witness it’s glory, and the timing was perfectly synchronized as I was driving home from work. A little earlier or minutes later, and I could have easily missed it, but luckily not so, and the universe saved a little magic for me that day.

This morning a reminder of such memory flashed on my Facebook account and the sight captured my heart just like it did the first time. Of course seeing it in person was magnified and even better, but this picture comes pretty close and is worth sharing. What stands out from looking at it besides the beauty of the sheer sight, was the way it made me feel.

It was a while ago that a interest sparked about Buddhism. I related to many of the beliefs and teachings, the way of being and a way of life. I believed in Nirvana, of changing my stars and my way of thinking. To be optimistic and always keep hope alive. To believe in the good of all mankind and to only judge when proven guilty. And not even then most of the time, as judgement is not for me and we often don’t know all the reasons to accurately form an opinion or judge someone’s behavior. I started to believe in each other, that we all have something to bring to the table. Those foundations had always been within me, but were ready to reach new depths. I had already found my still in Mother Nature, but my senses to see and hear deepened. I witnessed more of the simple things, a flower, wildlife, clouds, rocks, branches and other things that could be a part of some sort of project that would magically come together at a time it was meant to reveal it self. It always did, and most of the time I didn’t know why I felt so compelled to collect something until a later time when a beautiful project came full turn as if the piece was always meant for it. I was always tickled pink and overcome with joy when it happened. To create something with my own hands, no matter how simple it might have been. I already felt guided back then, guided to pick up that piece, somehow knowing that I would need it later.

I became more still within at that time. I felt more relaxed and more at peace, although life with all its troubles and curve balls remained the same. I know that I was going through the various steps of spiritual awakening, and the one I enjoyed the most was the third step and the journey of discovery. (I’ve wrote about all the steps under the tag of spiritual awakening, just in case you care to read how they applied to me). It was quite the journey and each step brought special meaning. My perception had changed already and I was seeing and hearing things other couldn’t. I seemed to be more in tune, and was seeking to understand the why’s and what had happened.

It is hard to put into words, but having arrived at this kind of attention and being in tune with my surroundings is something I’m very grateful for. It gives me the greatest pleasures to witness those things. To be able to pause and take a moment without being so caught up that I wold rush by and miss the moment. I’m grateful that these things have become a priority in my life and that they bring so mich bliss and joy. That my mind constantly searches for such moments, whether it be signs from my spirit animals, Mother Nature with its beauty or even oracle cards and tarot. That I’m ok with that they are different than what most others would consider exciting and that I’m not afraid to stand up for their meaning, even if it means that I have to stand alone. Yep, I think that trees are beautiful and magnificent.

Being able to witness this beautiful sunset was such a Zen moment for me and here is what the dictionary has to say about Zen.

Zen = relaxed and not worrying about things that you cannot change.

A form of Buddhism, originally developed in Japan, that emphasizes that religious knowledge is achieved through emptying the mind of thoughts and giving attention to only one thing, rather than by reading religious writing.

Giving attention to just one thing is we’re I found my Zen and where my peace was finally found. It was then that the load became lighter although the struggles stayed the same and didn’t just magically disappeared. I believe it was a major shift in how I see the world, my experiences, the tests and lessons, the good and the not so good, the simplicity’s that bring the greatest joy and the more is less concept these days. I’m grateful for that experience and for falling in love with a tree, a beautiful flower, a little critter and sometimes a magical sunset. I’m grateful to be a dreamer at heart.

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual awakening

Chasing Nirvana

It is said that spiritual awakening is triggered through the catalysts of our life experiences. A catalyst is much more than just a bad experience, it is a traumatizing event that shakes us to the core. It could be a loss, physical or mental, death of a loved one, any kind of abuse, physical or psychological, a chronic illness, failed marriage or any other traumatic experience. Life as you know it changes, ready or not, it is never the same again. It’s something that stays with you forever instead of being just a bad memory. You might also view it as a crossroad to enlightenment or bitterness, it depends on you and the many things that make up your personal profile. If you are an optimist, you most likely choose to believe, as a pessimist you might need evidence, thinking this is nothing more than a hoax, missing the crossroad all together while turning bitter.

I believe that the severity and the impact can vary with each occurrence and a person may need several catalysts to enter the process of spiritual awakening. Perhaps some will never experience it due to personal beliefs. I have wrote about the seven steps before and you can find them easily by searching under spiritual awakening.

It took multiple catalysts for me and it wasn’t a matter of severity and which one was the final one to trigger the process, but it was also a matter of timing and being ready for the signs that would follow. Everything added up and played a part in reaching that final destination. I think that my first catalyst started very early in life with the loss of my Father. I never coped, but I was too young at the age of ten to understand anything about spiritual awakening. I just continued with my life, still a child, with a hole in my heart that never closed, missing my Dad. Later in life I experienced abusive relationships, from physical torment to the manipulative kind, full of lies and deceit. I got played and taken advantage of, had to fear for my life and ended up in a failed marriage. I lost two pregnancies and went through hell and back at work due to jealousy and envy because I promoted before others who had seniority but not necessarily the skills. Try to tell them. It was the first time my hard work paid off in a negative way. I struggled with it a lot and although I had achieved everything, I had to lose everything in order to save myself. I almost didn’t make it. Over the years my dogs became my children, especially Nikki and the last and final catalysts happened as they past. I never recovered from Nikki’s loss and the wound of her being gone remains wide open. I know that her spirit would return to me in the form of another Shiba Inu, but that help remains unfulfilled with Germany hanging in the balance. Almost four years later, I know that it was my final catalyst and what evoked my process of spiritual-awakening. It was also a time I began to dabble in writing again. There was so much to say, even though the blog came much later and I needed an outlet for the things that were unfolding. I felt I couldn’t share it with anyone else, I wasn’t sure anyone would be able to relate. My experiences were customized to my suffering and from the outside one might gather that I was going nuts and was in the process of losing myself. I almost did, but I stayed true to course with a sincerity and a feeling so strong, yet no sufficient facts, besides my intuition. I had arrived at the crossroads of my path and choose my turn without even knowing that I was.

What happened during that timeframe, remains ever changing until today. Visions appear, synchronicities happen, people cross my path (nothing happens by accident), stepping stones are found with bits of information here and there, and the thirst for knowledge and understanding grows continuously. It’s a process that is ever evolving and it’s a process that only happens through trust and complete surrender by letting go of all control. To be ok with whatever outcome comes your way, to worry less and let things unfold how they are meant to be. I’m not saying I always like the outcome, but the awareness sure eliminates the pre-stresses about something that might never even come to terms. I learned to keep the ego in check and minimize the misery that causes us pain. It doesn’t mean that I eliminated all of it, but I learned to recognize the warning signs.

I never really talked about it and mostly kept the following to myself. Maybe because of fear that no one would relate, maybe because of worries that validation would never come, maybe because I thought you would think I’m nuts. It doesn’t matter anymore and I feel like sharing it today because I think some of you may have arrived at that crossroad and you need reassurance and understanding of what is happening in your life.

One of those little stepping stones that would end up being the start of everything, came into my life one day as I stood washing dishes. Like a robot I was washing one piece after another, starring out the kitchen window at the mountain range across from me. After years and years of living in the same house and seeing that mountain range every day, it wasn’t until that day that I truly saw it for the very first time. The turmoil inside of me became still as I scoured over every bush and every boulder. I never stopped my task and blindly reached for the next cup to wash, never taking my eyes off of the mountain. My mind was blank, I was lost in a moment of peace and I wanted to stay there as long as possible. The pain I was experiencing during that time of my life was intense and I knew I needed direction, a place to turn to and a shimmer of hope, something to focus on that would motivate me to go on.

“Nirvana, Nirvana, Nirvana”. I don’t know how long this was going on, but eventually I heard myself speaking the word Nirvana. It was what brought me back to reality and what at first set in confusion. Of course I knew of the music group Nirvana, but I never even knew the meaning of the word and what it stood for. Why was I saying it, what triggered it, and what was going on? I had numerous questions but started with a google search to learn the meaning of the word and to piece the puzzle together until I had a answer that felt right for me.

Nirvana

In Buddhism a transcendent State in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor a sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents paradise, heaven, bliss, ecstasy, joy, peace, serenity, tranquility, enlightenment and is the final goal of Buddhism.

I was confused at first and didn’t learn about synchronicities and intuition much later, but I had a starting point. I later found that I was relating to many of the Buddhist teachings when it comes to wisdom, karma, compassion and the modern materialistic society. It was then that I learned that less is more, that none of the materialistic things matter and that I got addicted to the feeling of inner bliss and harmony. Buddhism is a code of practice or a way of life that leads to true happiness. I believe that hearing me speak that word without any prior knowledge of its meaning was my portal, the stepping stone in my journey to enlightenment. I have grown ever since. I have never really spoken about it and I know it’s something hard to comprehend for someone who has not experienced similar situations or is on a different level. You might still think that I’m nuts, but you might also relate and have your own experiences. When I remember back to one of my most painful times of life, I can’t help deny the beauty that was born out of it. Perhaps it is the very reason as to why I believe in silver linings and what taught me to embrace the challenges without complaining.

My moments of greatest pain became my greatest strength.

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual awakening

The heart of a Gypsy 🦋

I want to rid my life of clocks, schedules and deadlines and live by the rising sun.

Worship the moon and feel the earth beneath my feet.

Walk off the beaten path and celebrate Mother Nature and all its creatures.

Love on my own terms and see adventure in every day.

Nourish my soul and make time to express the passions that truly matter.

Fall in love with everyone I meet, and collect the stories to tell.

Posted in Oracle Cards, Spiritual awakening

Sad Embrace – Oracle card reading 

Sad Embrace….

“Loss is a part of life. Let go and allow time to heal you.”
This was the card I drew during my third oracle card reading and I have to admit that my original feelings were a little frightened. Just the title itself was enough to stir feelings of worry, as I could feel the ego trying to take advantage of my vulnerability and paint the scenarios of “What if.” I’m lucky to say that I won in the end and held the demons at bay.

Initially the card looked plain and out of all the ones I drew so far, this one had the least signs and messages for me to take away. So I thought, but eventually this would change and I would find a few things to ponder and take away from this card. Taking out the book describing each card, I looked up the general description to find my own meaning between the lines and here is what it said. 

You may be entering into a period where loss is the theme. Perhaps you’re having to let go of a long-cherished dream. This ending may have been for your highest good, so take heart. A better and more powerful dream will be realized in your life if you can accept the loss. Relationships on faulty foundations are meant to end at this time. Disappointment is a form of perception. If your expectations weren’t met, a sense of loss arises, along with sadness and grief. Express these emotions. Tears are like healing rain that can restore life to a parched inner landscape. Growth is always assured. Whatever the loss-however great it is- let go, and experience your feelings so that you may soon see what beauty lies ahead.

Not all that frightening anymore if you can trust and believe that all will find its place. Here is what revealed itself after further observation and studying the card some more. It was easier to notice once I got passed the initial fright of reading the words “Sad Embrace”. I saw daylight and nighttime, a matter of night and day which could be applied in a variety of different ways. Both beautiful in their own ways as well as a reminder that sometimes the smallest of things can make the difference between night and day. I see heaven and earth, the moon and the night sky, as well as the blue sky and daylight, separated with a band of clouds. I’m in between with my being enshrouded in the clouds. My head is drawn to my knees, my vision is covered and I don’t fully see all the wonders ahead and what the cloud cover is hiding. There is still sadness over how a thing or two developed in life and perhaps in my subconscious, it still has an effect on me. I have to let go if I don’t want to be stuck in between heaven and earth. I see a net tied to myself that is secured and attached to a rock to keep me grounded and down to earth while I go through the process of personal growth. My hair is surrounded by the universe, shaping it into a new style, a new self that is still not revealing of how the finished product will look like. I am the creator of my aura and I raise my vibrations through my thoughts. I have grown my wings to take flight in the process of metamorphosis and therefore the best of both worlds will be mine if I can learn how to fly while staying grounded at the same time. And finally, I see the moon and the stars. I remember a quote that the stars can’t shine without darkness and my birth-sign alone is often referred to being a moon-child. 

So there we have it, definitely work in progress as life molds us all. 

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual awakening

Mid-Life what???

Mid-life Crisis: An emotional crisis of self identity and self confidence that can occur in early middle age
This subject has been on my mind for years actually and I have been wanting to write and discuss my take about it for awhile now. According to the Huffington Post, I’m going through midlife crisis. It appears that I have been there for quite some time. The article, conjures up thoughts filled with images of a silver haired 50 something man or woman riding off into the sunset with a younger partner. Perhaps the reason why I decided to embrace my silver fox, as I continue my journey of grey. Silly, and I don’t think so, but entertaining to consider, even though shallow and barely scratching the surface of many much deeper emotions.

Women are said to experience this “Crisis” earlier than men, often between the ages of 35-44. My so called crisis period started most likely as I was 42, but I didn’t take note of it until I was 48 and started to challenge the Status Quo. I wanted to feel alive again. What can I say? As so often throughout my life, it seems that I don’t fit norms and have my own time table of when and how things unfold. In the end I have always been a late bloomer and feel that traumatic events early on in life have been the reason that my mind and body protect me from a reality I’m sometimes not ready to handle. It makes me think of the quote about the teacher appearing when the student is ready and I believe that everything is a matter of timing and being ready. To grow into awareness and possess a readiness to observe and then evaluate and change your stars if necessary to pursue your dreams. Maybe not immediately as things are often easier said then done. Especially from the outside and with distance. We are often tied down and have to bide our time while we wait for the perfect moment when everything can fall into place. Even so, this should not stop us from planning and dreaming, as all reality manifests within our dreams and from the things we believe in.

This, so called crisis period is named to be a time of self reflection, a fear of running out of time, a discontent with aging and perhaps it is then that we give into that affair only to feel young and alive, appreciated and valued again. That is if you are not happy in your current circumstances and find those things missing from your life. Women might get Botox in an effort to cling to their youthful appearance and hide their self critical changes of gravity that is gracing their faces and bodies, while men might fork out a ton of money and buy that new sports car in an effort to be hip and attract (false) attention.

You might also panic about health issues, try to get a handle on your weight and seek a healthier lifestyle. Could this be the final time of turning your New Years Resolution into reality, as you feel that you must make those changes if you are to be around for awhile? Or are you just overall more conscious of dietary nutrition, the appearance of your smile and providing your body with what it needs? Finally….

A midlife crisis brings drastic changes, something out of the ordinary and goes way beyond buying a new dress or splurging on a set of new golf clubs. It’s something that makes your surroundings stop, as bystanders stand and watch our radical choice with their mouth agape. It’s the moment that becomes the gossip of a small town, whispered in hush hush conversations of “OMG, have you heard” while secretly wishing to have the courage and to be free from the burden of their own responsibilities.
“A crisis seems to come from exhaustion and a sudden acknowledgement of the passage of time. All assumptions come under review – all of them,” said Denice Loritsch.
You might start comparing yourself to more successful friends and younger coworkers, feeling increasingly regretful, self-conscious and perhaps even jealous and envious. Luckily this was never my case and there was never a sense of competition, but rather a desire to pursue my own identity and unique quirks, my individuality, while hoping for acceptance in the meantime. It’s still important and I strive for it each day, but I have reached a point of realizing that all we can do is our best and if so, it will always be enough. In the end, there is no control over who gives us that acceptance, who feels inspired and who likes us and who doesn’t. It’s human nature and nothing to be taking personal. (Easier said then done at times). But to be practiced even when others strike out in ugliness through jealousy and envy. I try to remember that it is a state of being LOST, an ugly cry for help. It might be hard and painful to experience, but if you can be strong enough to consider this concept instead of striking back and lowering yourself to that very level that brought you pain, if you can extend your hand in understanding and an effort to help that person out of their own hellhole, then you have achieved something truly wonderful. It’s not you as to why the person is leashing out and often there are much bigger things at hand as to why someone is LOST. Just imagine the impact you could have by putting your own ego in check! The impact on the person you are dealing with, but also the greater good for all involved. For most it is the ego that prevents them from reaching out and we adapt the attitude that if you hurt me, I have to hurt you back and seek revenge. Don’t we all make mistakes, aren’t we all deserving of forgiveness? It starts with you and you might even emerge a hero if you can act against the typical behavior and lend a hand instead.

I know I still have things that I want to change, we continuously learn and I have no idea of how long the process of this “Crisis” might last. I know that I have friends that worry about my process, that want to see me happy and I can honestly say that I have never felt more at peace as I am now. My path is clear and I have never  looked at this as a crisis at all, but I have embraced it as my spiritual awakening transition and a personal growth period. It is the very state of how I am and a positive mind that has me looking forward to each day in anticipation and wonder, knowing that I am the architect of my life in all my breathing moments. It’s a passage of awareness to pursue what sets my soul on fire with such a passion that my very existence is becoming an act of rebellion. To continue waking up from a dormant trance like sleep to re-evaluate what matters to ME and how I must set the steps into place to achieve those goals and dreams. To dream even bigger and care less about the acceptance of going against conventional norms, but to inspire others who experience the same kind of “Awakening” to cross the line in an effort to embrace the W’s of your life.

How could this ever be considered a Mid-Life crisis? It’s a beautiful journey if you are willing to see and keep your mind open. 💙🦋
This post is dedicated to a very special person and my dear friend TC, I love you and we got this girl. I believe in YOU and YOU are the architect of your life and YOU can do it 😉. I’m here through the process and I’m cheering you in every step.

Posted in Oracle Cards, Spiritual awakening

Trust to let go (Oracle reading)

I took a deep breath, trusted the divine spirit and I drew my very first card. 

Slowly I grabbed the card and turned it towards me. My heart was pounding for what I was about to see, feel a d experience. Every sense was heightened as I drew card #48 the “Wishing well”. I had examined all cards briefly before I started to shuffle them, but now was different since I drew this very card in direct relation to my question of what I should know about my journey at this current time. I stared at the card for quite a bit and noticed that I saw much more detail then I had prior observed. Little hidden objects which I had gone unwitnessed, turned into messages and some sort of significance. One by one the signs jumped out at me, begging to be pondered and contemplated. It was amazing and everything made perfect sense. Still I wanted to consult the little guidebook to learn more about the card and it’s potential meaning. Even though I was pretty much set on my own interpretation and the intuition I felt coming from the card. 
Guidebook meaning: Wishing Well 
” Desire is the sacred impulse for life. Feel it, but let go of all attachment to ownership” 
Desire is the most important impulse for creating life. You are now seeing the relationship between desire and inspiration and find yourself at the moment of truth and inception of a new life. A “Aha” moment when everything suddenly makes sense. You are awakening to the presence of unforeseen forces that enable new beginnings. Divine intelligence activates the field of possibilities where new life is co-created in a magical way. You can’t control the progress of growth. Step aside and be a channel for higher forces and relinquish any attachment of how this new creation should appear or when. Form your intention and take action by dropping the coin into the wishing well, then trust in spirit. Prepare to be amazed. 
All in all I was more then ok with the description of the guidebook and the wishing well being my first oracle card drawn. Still I believe that there is more to this card and a more personal message meant for me at this time.
I start with card #48 the “Wishing well” and I was 48 when I first started to question the status quo. When I had my first experiences with spiritual awakening and seeking out my own truths. 

I see the wishing well as my life, full of riches and things acquired throughout life. Full to the rim with gold/coins and treasure, perhaps material and monetary wealth that still ties me to this life and burdens me down. One hand still on the well, I see myself standing with my back to it, turned away from it as if bracing myself in the process of walking away from all I worked for. A life that has come full circle and realizes that those things no longer bind me. Perhaps the well is filled with intentions that were never quite formed or came to fruition due to timing. Wishes that gone unheard and were unanswered until now. 

I see a mask in the well sitting on top of all that material burden. A false sense and a life that is hidden underneath a mask, disguised if I am to remain attached to the weight of ownership. Again I see the effort in the figures stance that is trying to break away with her back being towards the well. 

I see another mask that has risen from the well and is engulfed by sunshine. See the light at the end of the tunnel and trust the process. You already know what needs to be done. You can be free if you find the courage to grow wings and fly. And I see little winged friends and their entire body full of light rising towards heaven, a new life and freedom.

Lastly I’m standing in a field of blooms. Could it be time to smell the flowers?

Posted in Spirit animals, Spiritual awakening

Chipmunk – Spirit Animal 

Chipmunks and squirrels are a frequent sight when I’m out on the trail. It’s not uncommon to encounter them in their natural territory, yet every once in awhile one hangs out and is just a little more mischievous. I’m not sure about the significance of waking up this morning with a chipmunk on my mind. Was there a particular reason this little furry critter crossed my mind? Could it be that I dreamed about an adventure running through lush meadows, having a picnic with my animal kingdom friends while frolicking in nature? I don’t know and I seldom remember any of my dreams, but my curiosity was peaked. How did the chipmunk fit into the picture today? 

It seems that these days everything has a meaning and is some sort of a spiritual sign, so it was no surprise to learn that chipmunks are spirit animals. I find it amazing of how much my awareness has raised, how trusting my intuition has become and how rewarding the journey, the adventure can be when you don’t resist and when you are grateful for the current moment. I can only imagine reading about raising your vibration is associated with what I just described and a positive outlook. 
 The symbolic meaning of the chipmunk stands for changes and revelations. Seeing the initial description made me smile. “What a surprise there” came to mind as I continued on to learn more. Chipmunk announces that something good is on the way. Something that will delight your heart and make you smile and laugh. (I’m smiling already). Chipmunk has hidden pathways and tunnels in proper sight all around us, popping up out of nowhere while sharing the energy of play and exploration. Chipmunk loves a good adventure and exploration while noticing every little change within its environment. A pebble or leaf out of place, chipmunk will notice and tell anyone near by who is willing to listen to the changes of the environment. The chipmunk totem brings the gift of artistic endeavors and creativity while teaching the magic of intuition and wishes being granted. My intuition is strong already but I’m wishing and dreaming big right now as I manifest these changes to take root within my life. The dreamer within me is in hot pursuit of its “Happily ever after” and believes that wishes and dreams come true every day. That magic is around the corner for all of us and is hiding in every secret tunnel and pathway. Believe, seek and you shall find…