Lake Tahoe in Winter
Here has 4 letters, so does love. Enemies has 7 letters, so does Friends. Lying has 5 letters, so does Truth. Negative has 8, so does Positive. Under has 5, so does above. Cry has 3 letters, so does Joy. Anger has 5 letters, so does Happy. Right has 5 letters, so does wrong. Hurt has 4 letters, so does Heal.
It means life is like a double edged sword….so transform every negative side into an aura of positivity. We should choose the better side of life.
It is time to no longer keep you guessing and provide a little more info on what I’ve been up to.
Coming back from Germany last December, I was in a very bad place and shape health wise. There were many uncertainties and I have felt like fighting the fight of my life ever since. The stresses encountered while working on a relationship with Mom, her nearly passing away, and having to place her in a nursing home against her will, but it being her only chance of survival, had taken it’s toll on me. Not to mention being away from my own surroundings and means of independent tools, such as my car, my own four walls and my support systems and loved ones. For ten months my life was packed into one suitcase I was allowed to bring with me.
It was a tough road and on Christmas Eve, traveling back to the states, there was a time at the airport I didn’t know if I’d make it back. The RA had returned with a vengeance for weeks already, and it was much worse than my first bout I had years ago. Back then in 2006 I as forced to make some lifestyle changes and was lucky enough for the RA to eventually go into remission. I never forgot that time, and how much pain I was in. This time was much worse and like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve always believed that stress was a huge culprit and I vowed to keep it away from me to the best of my ability. It worked for better or worse, but anything was better than that initial onset of encountering this mean, unforgiving, crippling disease.
Fast forward to the time at the airport, when all of a sudden I could hardly walk to my next connecting flight, or even get up and out of the airplane I had been in since the long flight from Frankfurt. I was unable to hold on to the seat in front of me to pull myself up and into the hallway, and it was pretty scary. I don’t need to give you a full history over the past eight month, but this time has truly shown me how strong we can be when fighting and being strong is all we have left. You’d be amazed at the reserves you’ll find and how you can conquer things unimaginable before. Things that never even came to mind before so awful in nature.
I spent much of my time with the arts and the creative process, unable to work and struggling through daily basics we normally take for granted. Getting dressed or combing my hair was a major chore. I felt so lost and vulnerable and the daily pain was robbing my positivity and the way to believe and see hope in my future. Unable to open bottles or doors at times, the pains were rooted throughout my entire body.
I’ve always enjoyed the arts, from being an avid amateur photographer trying to capture all the beauty that catches my eyes, which often lies in the simplest of things, to producing handmade goods. Doors opened and I came across various things that peaked my interest. I look back and I’ve taught myself so many new techniques over that timeframe. I truly learned a lot. I’ve completed and certified in three energy healing courses; got my Reiki Master degree and focused on numerous crafts. From acrylic paintings, to fluid art pours, to felted goods, handmade soaps, handcrafted journals, alcohol inks, wire wrap jewelry, and a few other items. I’ve shared my progress here and there with you cheering me on, which lead me to pursue higher dreams. You see I believe that everything happens for a reason and this time is all about me. To work on what fuels my passion, to shoot for the stars and hopefully turn my passion into something that can sustain me financially as well.
“Youniqua” was born, a zen place for unique art. Much thought was placed into the name and into a mission statement that represents me and what youniqua is all about. I think in today’s world you have to be unique, to differentiate yourself and offer more than just a product or convenience. There are so many choices out there, but what makes you truly unique? Why would people choose your goods over the next persons? I have a few ideas I hope to bring to the table to embrace the “youniqua” concept. One of those concepts is printed right onto my business card, called Meraki.
Meraki…,
To do something with soul, creativity, or love. To put something of yourself in your work.
All of my creations are unique, one of a kind and bare that message, meaning they were made with love, soul, and hold a piece of myself. I hope for so much more than just being able to sell these goods, and each transaction is a personal connection, a way to support each other and to bring a piece of that energy to you.
Here is to making my dreams come true and going for it. Please stay tuned for a follow up post introducing one of my staple items soon. 😉
“One life. Just one. Why aren’t we running like we are on fire towards our wildest dreams?”
Is it the fear of the unknown? The scary feeling of leaving our comfort zone? Is it that we don’t believe in ourselves enough? Or is it fear that we will fail? What will others think of us if we do!!! Who cares…pfft…run anyways. Find the courage and just do it. We get one life…just one.
I am trying, for sure. Better yet I am doing it and it’s hard work. But then on the other hand, nothing worthwhile is ever easy and if it was, everyone would do it, right?
Professionally I am chasing my wildest dreams, and I am building my own business. There have been many detours and delays, pauses, frustrations and experiments along the way. It takes courage and a belief system that can’t be shook or intimidated. I am doing it, and it’s work in progress. I hope to present you soon with my own Etsy shop to share my excitement with you.
Personally I am out on little adventure and get away this week. My posts are pre scheduled until I return to catch up and dive into more work that is the realization of my dreams. Once again I ask for your patience in the response to your comments and blog visits. Thank you so much and much love to you as always. ❤️
Silence can be quite uncomfortable when you find yourself amongst the wrong company. You may remember the urge to make idle conversation and engage in meaningless small talk. It’s all an effort of avoiding that strange, uncomfortably feeling. It’s trying to fit in, to not be labeled “weird”, to do what we think is expected of us.
Silence can also be grace saving and soothing depending on the situation. Especially when working in retail I think. Silence may allow you to enjoy quiet time on your own, being able to do whatever you want, not having to be considerate, while giving in to your every whim without distractions and interruptions.
But is there a third scenario? Personally I like people I can have comfortable silences with. Have you met someone like this? Isn’t it blissful…it’s like coming home… having finally arrived, and being accepted for the beautiful self you are without pretense and disguises.
Mosquitos have always had a hay day with me and everybody always said “Oh you must have sweet blood” when I was the only one that got bitten. Forget that…
The bites here in the states are not as bad (bad enough though) as they were back in Germany last year. The insects were in general much more aggressive over there since there is no pesticide spraying of crops.
Last week there have been reported cases of mosquitos carrying the West Nile Virus in my area which is a bit scary. I was never a fan about the chemical protectant sprays on the market and these days I am all about eliminating toxins from my body vs. putting new ones in. So this natural repellent seemed like a no brainer and I am giving it a try.
Here is what you need:
1/2 cup water
1/8 cup apple cider vinegar
10 drops citronella essential oil
10 drops cinnamon leaf oil or lemon eucalyptus essential oil
A spray bottle
Directions:
Take a spray bottle and put apple cider vinegar and both essential oils in. Then shake the bottle.
Add the water to the spray bottle. Shake well until all ingredients are mixed and voila.
Picture of my moon lamp, a special birthday present ❤️
So what is a black moon? When a month has 2 new moons, the second new moon is a black moon. July had two with the second one being today on this last day of July.
There’s about to be a shift in your life. A good one this time and I believe we can all use it. Get ready for your blessings. You’ve been through enough and a breakthrough is on the way. Don’t doubt it, just claim it.
This new moon ends a chaotic July new moon full moon eclipse, and August will feel more like normal. This new moon also marks the end of mercury retrograde which ends on the same day. New moons are times of new energy so expect new miracles. It’s also a super moon, doubling the miracles and breakthroughs. With the new moon in Leo you can expect love, fun and exciting vibes.
Get ready….
Going through some old things, I found an old picture of Mom and me. It was taken during a visit to Germany and a I can tell it’s taken in her house, in the kitchen. She looks genuinely happy in this picture, with a natural, non forced smile. Few pictures like this exist prior to last year as I was there for ten month. It was almost as if she learned to live again, to enjoy basic and simple things in life and when she allowed me to take more pictures of her.
I immediately set the picture aside thinking of sharing it with her the next time we FaceTime. The last time we talked was on Sunday, except that I forgot to show her and realized it after we disconnected. “No big deal” I thought since we were going to talk the very next day again. Monday morning came but instead of talking to Mom, I woke up to a message from Germany saying that Mom would be hospitalized the same day. She has gained 15 kilos since April which appears to be all water weight. I don’t know anything else yet but I imagine the additional water in her body is causing problems with her organs etc. I am almost afraid to ask and my fingers are crossed tightly for her and for a speedy recovery. I couldn’t tell anything from talking to her the day before. She always keeps everything perfectly hidden or blows it off. “What are you going to do anyways so far away” she has responded when I confronted her, and often I think she simply doesn’t understand the seriousness of things. Perhaps she is living in a world of ignorant bliss where it’s just simpler and safer not to know. I often thought of it as a protection mechanism that kicked in after the early death of my father. I once read something about it and there is an actual medical term for it. It’s like our soul is choosing to cut certain painful things out of our life’s in order to protect ourselves from the things we might struggle to overcome.
Needless to say, I never got to talk to her and I never got to show her that picture. It made me sad, really, and like so many things happening in my life these days it made me think. How something so simple and seemingly little can turn into future regrets and missed opportunities. Some of which we may never get another chance to play out or repeat. It made me sad for her, having to face the hospital again, and having to do it alone. She has been in and out of the hospital so much over the past two years. I am not sure if there can be a time when I don’t feel sad and where my heart won’t ache for her. It is a battle that holds me within its grip, never fully allowing me to live my own life. I know what I have done for her, what sacrifices I have brought to the table and what challenges I have faced. And somehow I still can’t look at it and say that I’ve done everything I could.
For me one thing is for sure today, and that is to not delay anything if we can help it. We might never get another chance. Pick up that phone and call today, don’t wait, make it count and ask yourself if you could live with yourself if another chance never came. I know it’s not easy and often we don’t even realize the impact. But maybe we can try to be just a little bit more aware and make that conscious effort. May you never know the regrets of a missed opportunity and may peace be with you always. ❤️🦋
I am an old soul that sees many parallels of the past and this life. I know I have fought for what’s important before, and I am no stranger to being a warrior. However, would you believe it if I told you that I don’t like to fight and that my strongest weapons represent love and faith? So much can be achieved when we believe, have faith and meet our challenges or challengers with love. In a way we fight every day, but there is a way to do it. It’s just a matter of finding out for ourselves what that way represents.
I like the simple things of life such as letting out the inner child and never forgetting that she exists. To let her laugh with Childlike abandonmentment and not worry about a thing for as long as I can.
I like old bookstores and the feel of an actual book in my hands. There is something soothing in the smell of the paper, perhaps it’s a distant memory of what once was.
I like the smell of coffee brewing and that first sip is always the best. You know what I mean.
I love the sound of rain and rainy days make the best cuddling days or just letting your mind go.
I like to hike to a special place, to find serenity and solitude, alongside a piece of heaven where I can breathe deeply and take a good nap.
I like the charm of a farmhouse porch and the simplicity found within the concept that less is actually more.
I like sunsets and the sweet and often little things that remind me that life doesn’t have to be complicated to be beautiful.
I like to dream big and small and chase the possibility of an adventure as often as possible. After all it is our dreams that keep us going, that keep us aspiring, that keep us alive.
I am constantly learning and I strive to push myself to be better and make the most out of every day.
I have learned to say that I am enough. To be content knowing that I will always do my best even when I feel that I fell short of that. It may not be perfect, but no human is. This will never sound as an excuse, but as a reminder to be patient with myself and to trust the process. I have learned to be forgiving, not just to others, but also to myself
Remember, you are exactly where you need to be. Good or bad, this moment will never return. Try to seize it and make the best out of it.
You got this you gorgeous and handsome soul. 💙
It was the day after my birthday, last Sunday as we hiked and chilled out at one of our favorite spots, overlooking a non crowded, beautiful Sierra lake. Many people had left messages, wishing for my new year of life to be the best one yet. I looked at it as if a new book had opened, with only blank pages for me to write my own story. A story not dependent on anyone or anything, a story up to me with my visions, my perceptions – mind-frame, my aspirations and dreams, as to what content it would hold. What story would I write? Somehow I felt that it would be the greatest yet, and the dreamer in me wants to believe that the best is yet to come.
A butterfly landed on me several times that day, reminding me of the transformation and changes that were sure to come. I have always felt and even said this before that 2019 was going to be a year of preparation and transition. Slowly, I can see the pieces falling into place and the unavoidable can no longer be prolonged. The butterfly, as well as how many times it landed on me brought a for certain message for this believer of spiritual signs, especially through the animal spirit. It was happening and in the process. I knew I had to get ready, to prepare for the next step.
Later that day I took a nap and woke from a little tickle I thought it might have been an ant. But wait, this felt different and the little tickle turned into an immediate burning sensation at my right knee area. I sat up and saw this little fuzzy guy, cute little caterpillar right next to me. I didn’t know what happened and there were plenty of times in the past where I picked them up and held them in my hand. But not this one and this one wasn’t friendly at all. His bottom side was red and my skin was on fire were it must have touched me, swelling into red hives and welts. Eventually, I relocated Mr. Cater-k-iller and put a wet, cool compress on the leg which helped ease the discomfort. After a little while the pain stopped getting worse and even later it eased a bit. Oh my goodness I thought, I got it alright. Another message about transformation, letting me know that this one was going to sting quite a bit.
Once evening had arrived and I was back home, I found a little something from the The Minds Journal that seemed appropriate for the journey ahead of me. Really ahead of any of us, because transformation happens all the time, to all of us. We grow into different people, often outgrowing the person we once were. We ascend (hopefully) and what we once valued, may no longer fit us. Life is ever changing and so are we. So this little piece was relevant for me and I hope it speaks to you as well, because….
Nobody ever talks about this part….
You know, the part when you’re no longer a caterpillar and not yet a butterfly. You don’t know who you are and you don’t know where you’re going. All you know is that every fiber of your being is calling for transformation. For disruption. For a revolution of the spirit.
So surrender. Breakdown. This is not the death of you. This is the dying of who you once were. This is your rebirth darling. And these are called growing pains.
Trust the process…🦋
I am a firm believer that we stumble upon information and signs on purpose and nothing is coincidence. Miraculously information appears when we are meant to receive certain messages. And so it was when I visited Bernice‘s blog and came across some information about the lion gate portal. I was so intrigued, I even went as far as to steal this graphic from her, (slightly ashamed, without even asking permission first – yikes) because there is no better picture that could do a post like this justice, and she knew it. She has excellent taste and is a wise and beautiful soul. If you have never read her powerful words, please be sure to stop by and pay her a visit.
Needless to say I felt compelled to research the information some more, for myself as well as for you. Much has been going on with the July full moon eclipse as well as the mars retrograde. Have you been holding on to your sanity? I hope so. Now what, I initially thought as I first saw the post, what’s the deal with this lion gate portal and what do I need to know?
The lion gate is a very special time in the sacred year. It is the moment when a new cycle of time creation begins, and you are able to end and initiate time lines or time cycles. It is a quest to live your best life, merging all of your experiences from all of your life’s, into the powerful and ever present NOW moment. The sacred year begins on the 26th of July, and is preceded by the celebratory “Day out of time” on the 25th of July. The lions gate portal reaches its full aperture on the 8th of August under the constellation of Leo. Thereafter it begins to close and is completed by the 12th of August.
It is said that we are standing on the cusp of great change. Haven’t we all felt this? You could say that it’s been so for many years and rightfully so, but at this moment, and this time of the lions gate portal in 2019, you are truly entering into an accelerated time of transformation that will take you into 2020 and that will culminate in 2021.
The lions gate portal is guarded by two of the royal sirian lions who are known as “The lions of yesterday and tomorrow”. They are gatekeepers that ensure that only those who are grounded in the present moment and conscious of their path are able to transit through the portal and create another cycle of life in a conscious way. Are we ready to cast our intentions?
2019 to 2020 will be known as times of great potential and power. It will also be not an easy time as the chaos and storms around us continue to fuel the fires of transformation and change. Don’t resist and don’t forget to remember who you are in the process of it all. Never forget how blessed you are to hold this awareness and consciousness, while so many live in confusion and struggle with only the fearful ego to guide them. Hold on to your inner peace and remember that everything you are experiencing now is preparing you for your ultimate soul plan and who you truly are. Stay grounded and know that peace, safety, love and abundance is the ultimate outcome you are hanging on for. Focus simply on your passion and what you want to create and experience on earth as a divine blessing.
It will also be a time when you need to care for your body. It is the sacred temple of your soul, and it will take awhile for the body to adjust to the higher frequencies. You may feel exhausted. Surrender and relax. Stay alert to the signs and be gentle with yourself.
Be awake, be aware, be empowered.
All you need to do is simply make the choice and focus the intention as you create the dream.
