Posted in Inspiration, Self help, Spiritual awakening

The Monsters within

Picture taken from google

This year so far has been largely about self awareness, understanding, and growths. About recognizing, as well as stopping to resist, to not interfere, to utilize, and be patient for the right timing. It’s been a huge growths push, layering on and deepening the journey I have found myself on over the last couple of years.

It’s been about making peace with the way things are. I’d say I’ve come a little ways, understanding and forgiving, letting the past rest (mostly) and looking ahead with optimism and excitement. I am at peace with the progress and where I am at, even though things are not perfect. I don’t think they will ever be and you know what? That’s ok, I don’t need perfect.

There has been a lot of insight about how the past has shaped me, why I reacted the way I did, what changed and how I see the future unfold. It feels as if the mental, undecided struggle of what is the best choice, what if I do this, what’s the outcome of that, and what to do period, is over.

This year has been filled with periods of looking within, to find cause, addressing and working with my shadow self and any darkness that is in my heart. To meet this void with unconditional love and without judgement. To not condemn it but to meet it with love. Not only within myself, but also in others who might have shared mutual negative experiences. Alone or with each other. It’s been a year of forgiveness and letting go. Of not holding on to the emotional baggage. It’s even been a year of losing people I once thought close to me. It’s been hard coming to trust that even there is reasoning behind it and it hurt to lose these people. Yet I have to trust and try to understand that our journey has taken us into different directions.

While many would define 2020 as a tough and challenging year, I definitely don’t disagree. But I do have to admit that I have come to see it in a much different light then that. I have learned to always look for the lesson and to embrace it with positivity, no matter what. For me, 2020 has been an important year. A year of many personal breakthroughs and personal growths. I can say that I have done my best and I’m ok with that. Being able to say so doesn’t mean that there are no things I wish could be different. But it means arriving at a point where you can accept the reality of it without feeling disturbed by it. A point where you no longer fight and try to control the outcome. Where either way it goes, you learn to dance with whatever comes your way.

A quote crossed my path and like so often spoke to me. I can only agree and it truly is great advice.

“Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we will keep trying to slay them in the outer world. For all darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart. And it is there we must do our work.”

~Marianne Williamson


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

20 thoughts on “The Monsters within

  1. 2020 is definitely a journey and offers so much opportunity for growth and healing. I just sometimes wish that going through those steps was not as messy and painful. But the results will hopefully be worth it. Thank you for your beautiful words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They will, just try to trust the journey. I know it’s hard sometimes, and sometimes we don’t understand. Sometimes it hurts and doesn’t feel good. But it is those messy parts that make the journey profound so we actually notice and not let it pass us. The wisdom that comes from those moments and the experiences, are the very core of life and what is essential for all of us to learn so we can become the purest, most authentic version of ourselves.
      Best wishes, always. 🙏🏼🦋

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with you – 2020 has been the year of tremendous growth, seeing lot of the relations for what they are, releasing the emotional baggage, letting go of what won’t stay any way, finding compassion for all the hurts and hurtful relations.

    Liked by 1 person

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