“You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.”
“The mind once enlightened cannot again become dark”
Picture of me at one of my favorite places in the Sierra Nevada.
Picture from last year at one of my favorite hangouts near my house.
Today’s post is personal and I know many of you will relate. May it bring peace to you in reading those lines. May it remind you that you feel everything just a little extra. And may it outline how truly special you are for doing so. Here it goes….
Dear empath, the one who feels everything so deeply.
I understand that your tender heart feels so tired, so overwhelmed by the heaviness of life here. You don’t understand how people can be so mean, so cruel, so vindictive and so angry. But even more so, you just don’t understand why everyone expect YOU to also be that way.
It’s just not in your nature. You love. You see all of life with love, and you only want others to also see the love and beauty that is present in all of life.
You’ve walked through most of your life feeling like an outsider, like you’re from somewhere else, and you’re beginning to desperately want to go home there now. Please don’t give up. You’re not wrong. You’re not the one who is wearing blinders to our true nature. You’ve known the answer is love all along…
The time has come for you to flourish, to learn from your heart and to share the immeasurable joy’s that doing so affords. It’s your time to shine, dear one. And to do so, you simply have to love yourself…Love yourself is fiercely as you’ve loved everyone else. That’s been your job all along – and now it’s your time. Love YOU with all your being, dear one, and you’ll remember again that ALL is well.
St. Michael’s church in Schwäbsich Hall.
It’s not always easy to have a positive outlook, and sometimes life is simply tough. Still the way we view things is one of our best attributes. It makes or breaks us. It teaches or defines, and it definitely makes life a whole lot easier if we can accept our fate gracefully, believe me.
I have learned so much this year in Germany. Some things new and some expanded on a deeper level to what I already knew. There is a calm most days in me now, although I’m fearful of leaving. Mom has changed since I told her that I’m going, and I can see her struggle plain as day. I know she is afraid and most days the sadness marks deep lines all over her face. Yet she can’t articulate any of it. It breaks my heart to see her like this, and I want to wrap her up in a tight hug and ensure her that all will be ok. I’m not sure that she can believe it once I’m gone, and once she is on her own. She is such a fighter, such a strong women, and yet she is so vulnerable and lost. She is unaware and inexperienced about most anything in life. It comes from a life within her own four walls. A life with little to no entertainment besides the TV. I truly think that she enjoyed all the things we did together which ultimately broadened her horizon. It has given her purpose to live, excited to face each day and see what could be discovered new. That purpose, ME, is leaving in a month.
A new chapter begins as I leave and yet nothing is over or settled. It’s merely another phase that begins, and besides the worries about her, other troubles of a different kind are already waiting. Further fights beckon to be embarked on. Nothing is over although it is. It will be a while until I can lay my weapons down, but each battle should restore more peace within.
Just like Mom has discovered new things every day, so am I as I continue on this journey. My life has been in motion for awhile, but it is now or never that I have to reach for the stars. If I want my dreams to be reality and dreaming is no longer enough, then the time to act is now. It is strangely motivating, and deeply exciting, for I have lived most of my life around others, always putting myself last. The time has come and it feels right to think about myself after everything that has expired. The ball is rolling. Some things will stay, others have already been busy in getting lost, while new ones will be found.
The Journey continues….
Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.
Love what you do
Do what you love
Begin where you are
Use what you have
Do what you can
Honor the elders
Teach the young
Protect and love your family
Keep your craft and your skills strong
Learn from your own mistakes, not only from others
Look for the log in your own eye-
Not the splinter in your brothers
Be loyal to your friends
Voice your opinion
Stand your ground
Trust your brothers (and sisters)
Work hard, stay humble
Focus on the detail
Wake up early
Temper your body
Live in nature
Walk in the woods
Climb the mountains
Find time to be alone
Hunt when you need food
Rest when you can
Work when you must
Always leave your mark
Take charge when others show weakness
Have more, spend less
More time, less convenience
Craft, not business
Value, not price
Quality, not quantity
To create, not to produce
Hands, not machines
(Picture: Wartburg Fortress – Germany)
Life is bittersweet, and never did I realize this saying to be more true, then during my stay in Germany. I will be leaving next month, but a part of me stays while the rest of me worries as I’m gone.
Never was I more afraid to leave and honestly, I don’t know how I ever did it in all these years, leaving Mom behind. Never has life been so apparent in all it’s harsh realities. Never was the truth so cold and the obvious between want and reality so clear.
Never have I felt more lonely and isolated, more overwhelmed and more pushed into the corner with my hands tied. Never have I been more vulnerable and scared, more devastated and yet hopeful. Never did I have to be stronger and more of a fighter as I have been for the past ten month.
Never have I starred depression more into the eye as I have been. Never did I feel more like giving up as I have been here. Never did I feel such agonizing pain, both physically and mentally. Never did I cry as much as I have cried during my time in Germany.
Never have I stumbled this much and fallen so many times, but always have I made the choice to get back up and face another day and another fight.
Cry me a river…..
I’m already apologizing to my British friends, the Queen and Prince Charles for what I’m about to write, but it’s too funny not to post. It was a welcome and priceless moment. You have to understand that things are not always easy with Mom, so this lol moment was simply marvelous.
Mom loves her gossip magazines, especially the ones which talk about the royals and other famous people. Once a week I bring her two magazines and today was such a day. While she studies her papers, I often work on the blog, or otherwise just chill out.
Today she decided to take it a step further and vocalize some of the things she was reading. First came the story about the dog that stole the owners dentures and buried them in the yard, 😳 and if this wasn’t funny enough, there was more. Next on the agenda was poor Prince Charles. I guess we all have our ticks how we like things and what we prefer, and at first she shared with me that Prince Charles travels with his own bed. We looked at each other and even sympathized with his decision. I’m sure you have been at a hotel, just missing the heck out of your pillow. What was the icing on the cake and what stole the show was her next comment. Can you believe that he has his shoe laces ironed each day? Apparently that was too much for Mom. Maybe it is half as funny reading it, and it was just one of those moments you had to been there. But it was the way she presented her amazement to me, by saying “Can you believe it…..” in disbelief, that had us both in stitches and laughing out loud in the end.
As we celebrate Thanksgiving today, quite a few things come to mind this year for me.
Each day I am thankful for nights that turned into morning,
Friends that turned into family ,
Dreams that turned into reality,
Likes that turned into love .
To all my family and dear friends that I am honored and blessed to have in my life. May this holiday season bring you love to your heart, health to your body, and peace and joy to your home throughout the new year.
Today I celebrate YOU, who always make a difference in my life, for it would not be the same without you. I am thankful and grateful and remember that it is gratitude that turns what we have into enough.
Happy Thanksgiving 🦃