Posted in Anxiety, Spiritual awakening

Finding your voice

It can take years to find your voice and your true authenticity, where you belong. I can’t help but wonder if some may never make it, because I know that the path is steep, and not for the faint of hearts. You may have heard the call to follow your true heart, but the timing was not right and something held you back. “It will pass” you told yourself, unsure of what you were feeling. But it didn’t pass, did it, and instead it grew only stronger, so strong in fact that you could no longer ignore it.

You had no clue how your new found feelings could fit into a modern day society with certain behavioral expectations that don’t always embrace “The different”. How your taught values, morales, and guidelines could align, while you were still repressing your own calling. You didn’t know how to forget everything you’ve learned in order to be reborn into your own purposeful, self fulfilling, soul being. The process was long and hard, you stood out like a sore thumb (you thought), different but unique, beautiful and strong in the eyes of your own tribe. You couldn’t see it, you just weren’t “there” yet. Unable to recognize your worth and beauty, you only saw it as a hindrance, as if something was wrong with you. You faced confusing times where you questioned everything and where you felt lost and alone. It caused sleepless nights, loneliness, many tears, wishing to be different, to be accepted, and a heaping load of anxiety that threatened to crush you. You yearned to fit in, without realizing that it would cost you your uniqueness, your own special blueprint in order to do so. A price so high that it could never bring you happiness, nor bring you closer to who you really are. You were caught in a vicious cycle that was suffocating the pretending “You” without room for the true “You”. It all became an act, losing yourself a little more with each day, to the point of anxiety and depression. But if you are reading this, then you haven’t given up and I celebrate the true warrior spirit within you, because I know it hasn’t been easy.

My wish for you is to get there, to find your true voice and to embrace it. To stay the course and never falter, to realize that you have chased the wrong ideals, and that you are beautiful in every way. You are complete. I wish you the courage to stand by your dreams, to reach for the stars when others abandon you, when the path seems lonely and hard, and to cheer on the true desires within your heart. I wish you to never forget to listen to that voice deep inside of you and that the days have passed when you ignored it. To make a conscious choice to no longer dismiss the call out of fear of what others might think, and to recognize it as your true soul path. My wish for you is to find the strength to get up more times than you have fallen and to always view your glass as half full. To remember the silver lining in every adverse situation and to see the lessons for growth instead of the bitterness that is caused by pain.

Your voice will be loud and clear when you decide to embrace the weird, the wild, the non conformist side of your heart that has so many traits, values, and gifts. And believe it or not, there are others just like you, gorgeous, wild, and beautiful who have walked the path before you. The choice is yours and in the end our most treasured memories always have something a little wild about them, don’t they? Remember that everything you need is already deep inside of you.

~Namaste

Author:

Who am I, and why I write. I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I am the one, holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but that everything has purpose. I’ve made my mistakes, don’t we all, but I see them as growing pains and they are a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time, but in a good way. I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off the hamster wheel in an effort to change my future. I didn’t land all that soft, but I can say that I’m still proud to have found the courage to do it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments and I chase memories, instead of the material stuff. Less is more, and the motto is quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be. I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. Somehow I go against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you dare, you soon realize that it is the only way if you don’t want to lose who you are. Just like most, my past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But that’s the past and it’s history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have. In the end we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard and accepted and still life is hard and our path is full of stumbling blocks. If we can see the lessons in adversity we may realize that the toughest moments are often our greatest teachers. There is a reason for the saying that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it might be darkness that will show you the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours. 
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋

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