Posted in Dad, Family

Happy Birthday Dad

Happy Birthday in heaven Dad. Each year on special occasions, but really always, I miss you just the same. I miss you as if it was only yesterday that you got your wings. It still is hard not to walk with you in the physical plane, but I am grateful that I got to share my heart with you so closely, especially as of lately, not here but the energetic plane. I feel you know me better than ever and you walk besides me every day.

Because of your guidance I am doing important work. Work that is bringing our family closer in so many ways and it truly is freeing even though we can’t physically hug. There is not a day that goes by I didn’t wish I could somehow feel one of those physical hugs from you. I miss you. Another 3 word sequence with the power to convey it all. I love you more than anything and I am trusting the disruption to guide us home. I am working through ancestral trauma, and I know without a doubt you are proud of me for addressing this darkness.

I don’t think there is anything I could have done that didn’t make you proud of me in some way. It makes me smile to know that I was always, and will be forever Daddy’s girl. The memories I have of us are treasures I carry with me, and which I truly cherish. Today I think of you just a little more and if you see me look up to the sky, nod and wink with a smile, then it’s me, your girl wishing you a happy birthday, telling you that I love you.

Posted in Quotes, Wisdom

Eliminating distraction

Distractions are all around us and sometimes too much of a good thing is simply too much. You might wonder what this black and white photograph has to do with it and I’m merely using it as a simple example. You see, in my case it actually looked better when I stripped it of its color. I saw more in the monotone range, including the light and the shadows of the subject. The stark contrast of what needed to stand out and the soft disappearing of subjects in the background that needed to fade away.

I don’t know why it spoke to me in a quote, in the process of elimination and the concept of less is more. Par for my course and journey so far I suppose. Perhaps a sign that I am in track.

“And sometimes the simplicity of black and white is all that is needed to eliminate the distraction.”

~Rhapsody Bohème

Keep it simple and don’t add more elements that you can handle. Even dreaming in color is sometimes too much. What can you eliminate today?


Posted in Awakening, Depression, Life

Ancestral trauma

Continued from here, here and here.

Let’s dive into ancestral trauma a little more and see what it is. I have a feeling many are struggling with the current energies that is bringing trauma and problems in general to the surface. We are given an opportunity here. Let’s see how it affects all of us and what we can expect. Everybody carries trauma and perhaps knowing a little more could be a game changer for you like it has for me.

Ancestral trauma occurs when a person experiences a traumatic event. It’s a given for us to experience these events throughout our lives, and it only differs by the perceived impact and type, but in all cases these events change us forever. Trauma change is on a cellular level, as well as on a behavioral one. So it is no surprise that the trauma Mom experienced in her childhood and before was placed with her at the time her soul reincarnated. It was passed down through her lineage to me energetically, on a cellular level and through her behaviors. All this happened at the time I was conceived. The trauma passes from generation to generation unless it is worked through and released. Basically what happens if you are not aware and you don’t dig deeper into your feelings, when you don’t manage to release the trauma in your lifetime, it reincarnates over and over, being giving another chance to work through said issues in another life. The trouble is nobody remembers and it will take years to figure what is going on, if at all.

We can also see ancestral trauma in family disease patterns. It’s much deeper than the good old saying “it runs in the family.” In an article from this statement is put into perfect perspective. It runs in the family until someone is brave enough to address the really old elephant in the room. I guess that’s my cue and where I come in. I am facing this elephant. For some reason I believe that my rheumatoid arthritis could be due to ancestral trauma and was passed through the lineage both genetically and behaviorally. And here is where the voice (mine) responding back to Mom comes in to heal us both.

It is proven that sensitive women can experience more “women’s health issues” like breast health, reproductive challenges, hormonal imbalances, thyroid and adrenal issues. Could it be the reason I never had children!!! Also mystery symptoms such as chronic fatigue are common and will impact sensitive women more than non sensitive ones. Feminine shame is also a huge contributing factor in the legacy of ancestral trauma.

It’s a lot to process, but I felt that I was on my way, making progress in my journey that seemed to had started such a long time ago. I could feel salvation awaiting, cheering me on to finally live my best life.

To be continued…

Posted in Energy healing, Full Moon, Inspiration

A full moon Reiki healing

I am excited about tonight’s Reiki healing. On top of our regular time slot, Sunday’s at 7PM, PCT, we have the powerful energy of the Worm Moon accompanying us tonight and the energy should be amplified. As mentioned yesterday this new energy is about staying balanced, getting in touch with ourselves, as well as getting real about our closest relationships. It’s a time to face your emotions and dance to your own drumbeat, strong, independent, making yourself a priority. Personally, I think it’s perfect timing for tonight and to dance with wild abandonment as I lead us drumming into our connection with Mother Earth to ground us and into our Reiki healing.

I invite you to dance and give celebration to everything you have put into place during the dormancy of winter. Just move freely in whatever way feels good to you. In other words “let go and dance as if no one was watching.”

Feel good about all the hard work you have done so far, and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment rising as your feet glide over the floor. Feel that weightlessness, a burden lifting and smile to yourself for it is the fruit of your labor. Know that you are on track and trust the process. You have done your very best to plant the seeds and everything is as it should be. Soon these wishes and dreams will begin to manifest in the spring sun and continue to grow. Relax…

Lay back (after your dance) and give yourself however long you can to soak up all the energy. Smile and notice how the feeling of warmth and accomplishment is spreading through every limb in your body. It feels wonderful, doesn’t it and you did it my friend. Know that love and light is on the way, and open yourself for the healing energy that I am sending you to wrap your body in light while fueling your own flame. You are loved and replenished, entirely.

Namaste my friends 💙🙏🏼

Posted in Full Moon, Inspiration, Journey, Life

Full Moon in March – The Worm Moon

Picture: Yahoo

I have to admit that I did myself a little favor this month by looking into the energy of March’s Worm moon (March 28th). It was the powerful February Moon that took me by surprise and swooped me up in a whirlwind of emotions. I was curious to learn what to expect this month. Here is a little recap from, written by Nina Kahn, with a guide for staying balanced, along with my own theory, experience, and input.

This moon helps us to find our footing as we dip our toes into new energy. It is time to get real about our closest relationships as we get in touch with ourselves, and prepare for new beginnings. We have some serious emotions to navigate during a cosmic chaos.

The full moon takes place in the peacemaking sign of Libra, associated with balance and partnerships. It brings to the surface what needs to be addressed. You might feel pulled between desires, struggles and values that include yours and those of others. Be prepared that they might not be in alignment with each other. State what you need and don’t dismiss yourself and your emotions. There is not one zodiac sign that won’t be challenged to find balance between these two worlds.

Trust the disruption

If we play our cards right, we are gifted with beautiful opportunities to bring more harmony to our lives, to get real about our relationships, and steady ourselves as we charge forward.

Here are a few things to guide us:

Do focus on your relationships

Don’t ignore red flags in romance

Do bring balance to your life

Don’t run from your insecurities

Do start healing from heartbreak

Don’t be harsh with your words

To me this full moon picks up and continues the energy that was started during last months full moon. It calls upon self care, being truthful with ourselves and staying balanced in the process of eliminating anything and anyone that is not authentic or serving our highest self. To me, it is shedding the illusions, the false selfs, the scenarios and circumstances that haven’t worked for a long time. It is time to finally make a stand, to continue peeling back the layers until we hit our purest core. To me it means continuing my shadow work, my inner child healing and ancestral trauma work. It means to continue on the path that I have chosen and to act and speak from a place of love and understanding vs. contempt and blame in order to get there. To me it is embracing change, even the pain and adversity that comes along with it, and to trust that it too has it’s place. This month is about making room for beautiful opportunities that are already coming my way. It is trusting the process and feeling excited and empowered by this new energy.

Posted in Awakening, Inspiration, Motivation,

Trust the disruption

Trust the disruption

Sometimes it only takes three little words to speak volumes to us. Three little words carrying a big impact, driving home a point, and to say the least, it is what happened to me. While there are multiple three little words such as the most famous ones “I love you”, in this case it was something entirely else.

“Trust the disruption.”

I first saw these words on Chloe Elgar’s Instagram site and she is a physic medium that I follow who possesses extraordinary gifts. Please see her link below for inspiration and services.

Trust the disruption took me back to a few years ago, and an original thought from myself. A thought that had passed in time, a thought almost forgotten, until now. Reading those three little words made everything bubble to the surface again, and this time it came back with a new found insight, more understanding and a greater wisdom. It came back baring substance, an importance that was missed during the initial thought.

Back when the thought originally surfaced, I was thinking about our emotions and the connection to it. I remember three different scenarios that came to mind, pondering how much control we have in each situation. For instance…what happens when we experience unhappiness? Is it someone’s fault, is it dependent on someone or something? Does it depend on our circumstances and how do we need up in these circumstances? What about when we are depressed or when we feel emotional or physical pain? Is it life giving us a hard time, are we unlucky, is it destiny, or why is it us the begin with? Do we become a victim thinking that we have bad luck, or is it just that life isn’t easy? Chances are, we all have asked ourselves a degree of these questions at some point in our lives.

When we experience the tough times in life such as the ones mentioned above for example, it is often a sign that something is out of balance. It’s a way for our body and soul to communicate to us that change is needed. It’s a sign that something needs to be realigned, that something needs our attention. And what better way to get our attention as through some sort of hardship, some sort of disruption.

To some this might be a nuisance, an inconvenience, perhaps bad timing, but what this disruption truly is, is a cry for help, a cry for us to pay attention. Just imagine for a moment what could be if we changed the way we look at this problem? What if it is no longer a problem at all but something entirely different? If we could see it as an opportunity to address something that contributes to our unhappiness, to our pain, and to our depression? What if we are given the opportunity to pause, evaluate, and act accordingly to do something about it?

Trusting the disruption is exactly that. It’s a jolt, a halt, your body and soul making a stand and saying “stop the insanity”, while putting you into the driver seat so you can make the according choices.

Disruption is something positive in our lives. It is opportunity, a chance, a new beginning and a matter of hearing the call. How we want to hear it, and how we interpret it is truly up to us, but I hope you can view your own disruption and trust as a precious gift instead of life giving you the short end of the stick. What have we got to lose?

Namaste 🙏🏼💙

Posted in Anxiety, Emotions, Empath, Inspiration

The shadow side of being a highly sensitive person

Photo by Roy Reyna on

I am one that feels deeply, perhaps too deep at times. I am one that picks up on emotions as well as vibrations. Maybe you are as well and if so, then this post is written for you to help light the path.

We talked about Empath’s and Shadow work, and what it’s like to absorb the energy of others. Being an empath also comes with a great deal of being a highly sensitive person. That in turn comes with a shadow side and hurt feelings and emotions are often the result of it and trapped if not properly recognized and cleared.

Here is a list you might identify with…

  • You have good instincts, but often don’t let yourself trust them
  • You bottle up anger and the end up lashing out unintentionally
  • You do things you’re not comfortable with to avoid upsetting anyone
  • You have a hard time not taking things personally
  • You read into things too much and get stuck in overthinking
  • You u can easily fall into putting other people’s needs way above your own
  • You frequently second guess your choices
  • You try to make other people happy / often to your own detriment
  • You don’t take as good fare of yourself as you deserve
  • You overly blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault

It was during my February recap that listed what worked, what got better, and what got worse. Looking back and recapping these successes and what one might consider opportunities and shortcomings had become an essential part of my life. I believe it has found an important place in my life. One that is needed to stay in consciousness and awareness, to not let too much time pass before changing course, and one that allows you to celebrate progress as you put all the pieces together.

These days I work to embrace my vulnerability and shadow side as a precious gift. Being a highly sensitive person allows you to feel so much more. Feeling is the essence of being alive. It allows emotions others are not capable of, in mere existence. I want to be alive and not just exist, and feeling deeply is what is required. Relax and trust the process, it doesn’t have to be scary or bad. It never is if you focus on the positive.

Posted in Inspiration, Shadow Self, Spirituality

Shadow work

What is shadow work?

According to Lonerwolf shadow work is the process of exploring your inner darkness or “shadow self.” I know we have talked about this before and it can be a intimidating process. Perhaps if we change the approach to it and see it in a different, more compassionate light instead of a scary process, it is then that our courage grows and takes on leaps of faith. Let’s give it a try…

Shadow work uncovers every part of you that had been disowned, repressed, and rejected. It is one of the most authentic paths to enlightenment.

It was by the end of last year that I started to work with my own shadow work. Over the months I have learned to understand, forgive, and even love the darker aspects of myself. Fear and a wounded self was replaced with understanding and compassion for myself and the as to why’s. I way for pain to transform into love and compassion. I have learned that these behaviors are wounds and pains from hurtful experiences. That these behaviors are a mere coping mechanism to protect the soft inner core of vulnerability, so I might never experience such pain again. The downfall of it is that by doing so we live a life in fear, a prisoner to our own walls.

It started with shadow work, and what followed was inner child healing and processing ancestral trauma. Each step has fallen into my lap when I was ready to process more, ready to learn about the connection and how it affects us throughout our life’s. I can say that it will be the most important work you’ll ever do and you will become unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.

I look forward to what’s next while watching the layers peel away. There is nothing scary about yourself that needs to be hidden and covered up. Meet yourself with love and know that you are beautiful inside and out.

Posted in Empowerment, Inspiration, Manifesting

March 2021 Expansion of the soul

Photo Yahoo

March 2021 is expansion of the soul month according to Altona Angelica.

Have you felt the shift? Have you felt a calling, your soul expanding? I have and this has been a most important month for me.

It’s a powerful month for healing, initiating new projects and embracing new beginnings. It couldn’t be more true for me and what is going on in my life.

It’s a slow and steady month it is said and perhaps due to my circumstances, it is kinda flying by. Rushing ahead will cause you to burn out and I feel the importance of this statement. Flow, as the universe blesses you with all you need to level up and expand in many areas of your life. Many, is a keyword for me, as it is never just one thing and a chain reaction has been set into motion.

We can expect to see the beginning stages of the manifestation of our dreams if you planted the seeds over the last few months. We did this by telling the universe what we want and where we see ourselves during the new moon. We did this by letting go of what no longer serves us during the full moon.

There is magic in the air this month. Be sure to user it. Trust who you are becoming. Trust your soul gifts. Trust the message you are receiving. Rise above your fears. Blessings are on the way.

Phoenix Rising

Posted in Divorce, Life, My story

The day of…

It was the weekend, Saturday to be exact, first day of the two consecutive open house days. It was a strange feeling to say the least.

The morning started out hectic, despite of getting up early and giving myself plenty of time to get everything tickety-boo for the event. The dishes from breakfast were washed, dried and put away, Cinnamons toys gathered, bathrooms touched up, and any personal traces were minimized or eliminated all together. I felt irritated and out of patience. With what? I can’t actually say, perhaps out of patience for having endured way too long. A sadness filled me as I looked around this shell of a house that took on the view of a model home, a place for show, with nothing more. Even the memories were fading. More and more it became a shelter as more and more finishing touches were removed. You’d think this would make it easier, but it didn’t for some reason.

I’m not sure why I felt so overcome. I envisioned this day for a long time and now that it was finally here, was on a different scale, and like nothing one can ever imagine. Fact is we can always see the rational side of everything, but it’s hard to factor in the emotional world. This was the perfect time to sell, the perfect time to finally look after myself, and the perfect time to answer a higher calling. I knew all of that, along with how many sad and lonely years had passed. Years, shorting myself, cheating myself out of what I rightfully deserved.

I’ve read the signs, heard the call, and this morning I woke to the constant, getting louder call of a Crow. “Expect big changes very soon” was part of the message he brought me. The universe was also supporting me now, the problem was that I just wasn’t supporting myself, and that’s where the struggle came into play. As always I put everybody else before me, so why should this be different! I was moving no ward on the path and also there was no stopping now, nobody ever said that it’ll be easy.

People were saying “here we go” or “good luck today” and somehow I couldn’t manage to fully take it in. I’m merely shrugged my shoulders, asking myself what luck had to do with it. It was always going to end this way, the question was only “when?” Everything was running smooth for the most part, and I knew that I was creating my own stress and disturbance, yet I couldn’t help it. In a way I just had to feel it all. The life I knew was coming to an end. A chapter was closing, actually several chapters, and each one was huge. The very life that caused me so much pain, turning me into someone I didn’t want to be. A life with my walls up in self defense, tolerated, but far from loved. Hallelujah you would think I’d say, hardly able to wait to move on, and yet it wasn’t so. There wasn’t a feeling of celebrating but more a sense of feeling defeated. There was a war within and I had no reason to feel defeated or like I lost. I had given it my best shot, more of me I’d ever thought possible and yet leaving it behind was so hard. I know that even if a bidding war starts over the house or full offers come in, it’s likely not going to change how I feel right now. Like everything else it needs time to heal and 27 years are a big part of anyone’s life.

I know that I will look back and I know one day I will be glad when this is behind me. I know that what awaits is a richer life quality and a more peaceful existence for myself. Yet I can’t seem to focus on what will be because it is the “now” I have to deal with, and so much work awaits. I’m tired, my heart yearns for that solitude, the silence and putting the struggles beyond me. Isn’t that exactly what I’m doing now, I asked myself and of course it is. What strange roles I play right now. Feeling wounded in some ways and also being the one consoling myself, because I, my higher self, my soul knows that it is the only way.

It was a very strange feeling this morning while I was driving away from the house, leaving it with practical strangers, allowing the realtors to do their job while entrusting your most sacred and personal spaces to them. It almost felt like a violation of some sort. Luckily the day got better after an almost hour long car ride in silence.

Sunday was a bit easier and things fell quickly into an almost routine. In the end the open house was kind of a flop and the start spring (it snowed on the Spring Equinox) and spring break actually hindered the traffic coming through the house. Guess we are trying next weekend again and bought a little extra time to prepare.