I thought it was time I show my face here and it’s been awhile. Just wanted to wish you all a great start to your week and be kind to each other. Mom has a lot going on right now and I’m busy shredding toys hehehe. She says this is an important year, filled with many changes and transitions. It’s the year of the Water Tiger. Beats me what that is but she is emphasizing on making bold changes, boosting career satisfaction, recharging near the water, being open to change, being patient and trusting your instincts. Hope that helps. Get ready, a new month is on the brink with a new spirit animal supporting the energy for February.
I recently wrote about my shattered exterior and many of you have responded in kind. It is quite something to look back and acknowledge each and every version of ourselves, as we change to a point we often don’t recognize ourself. It takes adjustments and time to get used to. It takes however long it might to process the change, get comfortable with ourselves again, and to understand it in all of it’s detail. Maybe pieces of these details are constantly adding. Looking back in how far we have come allows us to perhaps feel a bit accomplished as we go through each metamorphosis, and we should. It’s hard work and with each version our beautiful wings grow a little more. But we also need to not forget and pay homage to the initial time, that painful process that feels like we are barely keeping afloat. Oh, how real that struggle is when we are in the midst of it. I found some words by Donna Ashworth that spoke to me and perhaps you too need to hear them too.
“To the woman who is slowly fading away. To the woman who has lost her spark. To the woman whose get up and go has well and truly gone. This is for you. This is to remind you whose daughter you are. This is to remind you, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, every day. You didn’t sign up for that.
Remember when you used to laugh? Sing? Throw caution to the wind? Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always being perfect? You can get that back again. You really can/ and that doesn’t have to mean letting people down or walking away. It just means being kinder to you, feeling brave enough to say NO sometimes. And rest.
It starts the moment you realize that you’re not quite who you used to be. Some of that is good, some of that is not. There are parts of you that need to be brought back. And if anyone in your life is not okay with that…they are not your people. Your people will be glad to see that spark starting to light up again. So, if you have been slowly fading away my friend, this is the time to start saying yes to things that bring joy and no to things that don’t. It’s really pretty simple.”
What I liked about these words is the reminder that some parts of us need to be brought back. As we shed our different versions, sometimes we shed things we shouldn’t lose as well. Not everything falls to the wayside because it no longer serves us. I think there are casualties along the way and we need to recognize what we might have lost along the way that we now miss or wished we had back. We need to make peace with what was, what has been out of our control or what we could have done differently. Perhaps we need to remember that we did the best we could with the knowledge and the resources we had at that time. Perhaps we need to be gentle with ourselves and we too deserve forgiveness, forgiveness that comes from us.
Perhaps we need to bring back our believe, our way to play with childlike abandonment, or our patience, our sense to perceive everything or everyone as innocent until proven guilty. That doesn’t mean we have to be naive and while one bad apple can ruin a bunch, we can’t let one bad experience dictate and be the judge of our future.
Through your transitions and ascension, have you lost something or someone you wished you’d have now?
Just recently I came across a little project and I am putting it to the test. For me it’s always fun, almost essential to incorporate elements from nature into my space, and this one seemed to be right up my alley. During a recent bathroom remodel this little bowl that once held Q-tips become unnecessary but too cute to throw out. it seemed perfect for this project and I can’t wait to see what and if anything will happen. I planted a pine cone and perhaps you feel intrigued enough to give it a go. Here is what to do.
Go to the woods and gather a pine cone of your liking. As you can see I went with a small one.
Put the cone in a pot so that most of it stands out.
Pour a small amount of water on it every day and be careful not to overwater as excess water makes the cones rot.
After some time, a tiny tree will appear.
Congratulations – it just started oxygen production and you have a piece of forest in your own home.
You’re doing something for nature, and you’ll see what nature does for you…
“We are living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That’s the old metaphor: You’re born, you peak at midlife and decline into decrepitude….A more appropriate metaphor for aging is a staircase. The upward ascension of the human spirit, bringing us into wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.”
This metaphor is just as apt to our spiritual journey unfolding. That too like a staircase we walk after life in the climb towards enlightenment.
I am getting older and I have so many unanswered questions!!! I still haven’t found who let the dogs out…where’s the beef…how to get to Sesame Street…why Dora doesn’t use google maps…why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop….why eggs are packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in a plastic that’s tough as nails, yet light bulbs too are in a flimsy cartons…
Ever buy scissors? You need scissors to cut into the packaging of scissors…I still don’t understand why there is Braille in drive up ATM’s or why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why there is a D in “fridge’ but not in refrigerator…why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish washing liquid is made with real lemons…why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections…and, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts” where’s that extra penny going…
Why do the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune…why did you just try to sing those previous two songs…and just what is Victoria’s Secret? And what would you do for a Klondike bar and you know as soon as you bite into it, it falls apart…and why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Ughhhh….so many questions…Lol, but I hope this brought a smile to your face.
Every couple of years, it seems that I need a little external help. A little jump start if you will. It’s a time when a little break from my Constant is required to get my thoughts straight and leave the pain behind for a bit. Sadly until now it has required medical intervention which I am not fond of and I hope to change and eliminate this to a continued and full-time holistic approach as time passes.
When I look back over the past 16 years, my chronic dis-ease has gone mainly untreated when it comes to the harsh pharmaceuticals. I am happy and proud of that fact and the knowing that I even been in remission a few times. I am grateful for all the changes that I have been able to implement so far and I am already giving thanks to the ones still ahead of me. I am happy to be in a position where I have more time and even better means to take care of myself, where I can make myself the priority most of the time and there are plenty of things I can still do. But like with everyone, life get’s in the way sometimes with increased hardships and this is such a time for me.
I have been through a lot over the past 8 months. Huge lifestyle changes accompanied by tons of stress has overshadowed my life enough to bring strain, worries and perhaps even fear to my life. But it has also been the most magnificent transformation time for me and there have been many good things. I can see my new direction and the progress that has been made. It’s all I need to keep going and there is no turning back from here. Not that I would want to, yet it still does take a toll.
For me it has resulted in flare ups of the rheumatoid arthritis and constant pain. A debilitating experience that takes away any life quality. A strenuous existence that commands your attention as the simplest of tasks become the biggest and often the most impossible challenges. Nothing gnaws on you more than constant pain. It certainly is hard to stay positive and eventually the days become more and more hopeless despite your positive outlook and all the self help knowledge you have gathered. Nothing seems to work during that time.
There has been a little break after my last doctors visit. More tests are still outstanding and further visits are due I’m sure, but for the first time in a long long time I have experienced a day that I would consider a day without pain. Maybe it wasn’t completely absent and there are still things that present a challenge or cause difficulty, but everything appeared much, much easier. There wasn’t a constant strain, a constant level of pain, and boy does it do wonders for your overall feel of wellness and life quality. I felt alive vs. just existing and fighting my way through the day. And that with minimal help. While I have been following and incorporating the topical solution for my knee twice a day, the pills that I am suppose to take twice a day, I have taken only once since my visit last Friday. They are peace of mind for when the tough gets unbearable, but I don’t take them just to take them. I know they come with side effects, so the peace of mind is only in regards to pain and not any further damage they might bring.
However and most notable is that during this short break, I feel restored and full of hope once more. It takes just a little interference, that tiniest break to dig out the motivation and jump onto the band wagon with even more gusto than ever before. More remedies are waiting to be implemented as I heal my body and eliminate more obligations and stress that has weight me down over the course of a lifetime. What a time to be alive. I am truly grateful and this little jump start has done wonders.
Have you heard of Moringa before? Here are 20 powerful reasons to add Moringa to your diet, I have done so in the form of a tea which is simple and easy to do. Especially now since I have booted the coffee, well mostly, and switched to a healthier alternative for me. Take a look and see if you too can benefit from Moringa.
Loaded with antioxidants
Rich in alkalinity
Detoxifies the body
Boosts the immune system
Reduces risks of disease
Normalizes blood sugar
Helps lower cholesterol
Relieves inflammation
Soothes the nervous system
Promotes good eye health
Improves mental focus
Helps relief depression
Stimulates hair growth
Helps reduces wrinkles
Rejuvenates the skin
Slows the aging process
Boosts stamina
Increases energy
Decreases water retention
Aids in weight loss
Helps improve sex drive
*wow, truly something for everyone when it comes to this impressive list of benefits
My doctors appointment is behind me, at least the initial one and I continue here in pt.2. It’s been 4 years I have sought medical help and in large my own care has been in my own hands. There are many things I just know. Some started as hunches, others as “could it be” that resulted in further research, and yet others stem from a deep knowing as if I have been here before. Perhaps in a prior life I was a doctor, medicine woman/man, healer, or shaman myself. I can’t tell you where I know from, other than my gut and intuition have never failed me.
I was nervous going to the doctor, no doubt. There are things that are obvious to me but I still haven’t decided if it’s always good to know in detail what is wrong. What could go wrong…if…what is bad already….and what could be. It surely takes bravery to go see the doctor. The first blood pressure reading was 148 over 80. The second wasn’t much better. The nurse taking my vitals asked me a couple questions in regards to hypertension and told me that she would leave me sit for a moment. Over the course of the next few minutes the machine would take my blood pressure 6 times within 1 minute intervals. “Try to relax and breathe” she told me on the way out. Alone in the room I remembered my Self affirmations, my mantras I set for myself the other day and began to recite them in my head. Eyes closed, I sat, breathed deeply and told myself that I was loved and supported beyond measure. That I had no reason for fear and that nothing was my fault. I told myself that whatever happens would not be the end of my story, but merely the beginning. By the time she came back into the room, I had meditated myself from hypertension and a blood pressure of 148 down to 114 over 70. Everybody seemed relieved.
My doctor was a very young woman and in part I was very glad about that. I felt that perhaps she would be open to non traditional methods, to alternative medicine and healing, and she was. Problem is, that I need help quickly and unfortunately I don’t have much time to experiment and try various things, but I still had to make my intentions known. Right now the main objective is to reduce inflammation in the body so I can regain a more active life that is not overshadowed by constant pain. I received a topical creme for my left swollen knee with further instructions to follow the RICE concept. Rest-Ice-Compression-Elevate. For overall pain another inflammation fighting pill that I will take as needed and on a temporary basis. I slew of tests have been ordered when it comes to bloodwork, as well as x-rays of my knee and my hands. Not mentioning a Mammogram and other routine checkups. I will try to at least schedule my bloodwork for the end of next week and coordinate the x-rays as soon as possible.
Although I have only taken the pill once, I feel it did bring some relief in pain and I found it was easier getting around. Moving wasn’t associated with so much strain and I am thankful for every little bit. I’m still on a one cup per week coffee regimen and I’m sticking with tea. I will incorporate a targeted 30 minute routine that will include more walking, dance or whatever else I can. I am actually looking forward to it, if I can sustain and execute the plan due to less pain. We shall see. On the contrary, there is nothing to lose but everything to gain. I have big plans and I need to be well. I consider it done and my intentions to the universe who loves and supports me are clear. So mote it be!
As soon as I inserted this picture something became obvious and it seems to me that there is an inner dialogue going on that I haven’t noticed before. Every time I write about shadow work, or inner child healing or some other profound topic of self care, it always seems that my images that go along with the post are often black and white. So what you might think, what’s the big deal. I see it as the balance between the light and the darkness within all of us. Perhaps it is metaphorical for the light to transform the darkness. Perhaps it is the realization that the darkness has much to teach us and is required just as well. Once again balance is the key to finding a coexistence between both.
It is safe to say though that many shy away from shadow work and that the misconception exists that the shadow is the home to the worst parts of ourselves. Yet they still are a part of us, do we love them any less, do we dispose them and banish them back to the darkness. Far away from us so we don’t have to deal with it or face up to it. Whatever we do, this belief is false and the shadow is actually the home to the parts of ourselves that WE have rejected. So how could it ever be so intimidating if we made that choice? What we have done here is that we have judged ourselves, and in the process of it we deemed these parts of us as unworthy, as unlovable, as unacceptable. We have punished ourselves and inflicted what we are often scared to receive from others. Yet we did it to ourself, all while we should’ve been our best support, our biggest fan. We marked these parts as bad, yet it is not a place were our worst parts remain. It is for these rejected parts that the shadow, our shadow side remains full of untapped potential and creativity. Just like the light tries trying to transform the darkness we can transform these rejected parts of ourselves with love. Have you ever been punished by Love? Can you imagine what could be if we extended that kind of grace to ourselves?
It is said that what we send out comes back to us through Karma. What we think we become, and manifest into reality. It is said that our thoughts are very powerful and we should be careful what we wish for. How about attracting miracles? Do you believe it is possible?
An legend says: According to an old Native American legend, one day there was a big fire in the forest. All the animals fled in terror in all directions, because it was a very violent fire.
Suddenly, the jaguar saw a hummingbird pass over his head, but in the opposite direction. The hummingbird flew towards the fire!
Whatever happened, he wouldn’t stop. Moments later, the jaguar saw him pass again, this time in the same direction as the jaguar was walking. He could observe this coming and going, until he decided to ask the bird about it, because it seemed very bizarre behavior.
“What are you doing hummingbird?” He asked.
“I am going to the lake,” he answered, “I drink water with my beak and throw it on the fire to extinguish it.” The jaguar laughed. “Are you crazy? Do you really think that you can put out that big fire on your own with your very small beak?”
“No” said the hummingbird, “I know I can’t. But the forest is my home. It feeds me, it shelters me and my family. I am very grateful for that. And I help the forest grow by pollinating it’s flowers. I am part of her and the forest is part of me. I know, I can’t put out the fire, but I must do my part.”
At that moment, the forest spirits, who listened to the hummingbird, were moved by the birdie and it’s devotion to the forest. And miraculously they sent a torrential downpour, which put an end to the great fire.
The Native American grandmothers would occasionally tell this story to their grandchildren, the conclude with, “Do you want to attract miracles into your life? Do your part.”
Rhapsody Bohème 