Finding your “why”

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Picture from my recent trip. Oh the stories I have to tell 😉

Conscious breathing

As another week is coming to an end, I am revisiting this recent picture that shows a firefighter gearing up to fight the Loyalton Fire, burning near my house. It consumed approximately 48,000 acres of land, destroyed houses, killed wildlife and life stock, as well as a pilot that was fighting the inferno. Part of my town had to evacuate and the winds threatened to drive the flames further into my direction. Luckily this was not the case, but much of California is still engulfed in flames and destruction. Another thing that was simply awful was the heavy, thick smoke that caused unhealthy air quality in my location, and which still flare up here and there depending on the wind direction.

It took breathing, something we do every day to a whole other level. It was difficult and I must fall into one of the sensitive groups that struggle during times like these. Being stuck in the house for 6 days, unable to open windows or go for a walk to get some fresh air, left me feeling congested and clammy. You can recycle the air as much as you want, nothing beats fresh air and the outside.

And then I remembered the difference between breathing and conscious breathing. Have you ever heard of it? Perhaps you remember your Mom or a friend telling you to take a deep breath during stressful situations. It was meant as a way to calm you down, redirect your energy and that’s what it is all about.

In kundalini yoga breath work is a vital part. Becoming aware of your breathing (conscious breathing) infuses your body with calmness. It’s a way to look inward to realign yourself. The same happens in Reiki and other energy modules. Breathing goes hand in hand with moving energy, whether you are healing, boosting or grounding. Conscious breathing has so many physiological and etheric benefits it’s impossible to name them all here. Just be aware that conscious breathing oxygenates you’re brain and all your cells, focuses your attention, and stokes your etheric Fire by energizing your chakras. We are energetic beings and breathing turns the switch on.

A big thank you goes out to our first responders, and the ones risking their lives to protect ours. Thank you for all you do that allows us to breathe again.

Hilton creek lakes

A slice of heaven from last week. ❤️

All Freedom Mile’s have bad chapters

It was on my Birthday trip that I saw this message written on the small path I hiked that evening. As a believer in signs and messages finding us at any given time, I knew that this was no ordinary moment. I just didn’t quite understood at the time what it was referring to. I do now and today I see it as a message of progress in becoming more and more who I am meant to be. I see it as leaving the old behind, of becoming free from the shackles that bind us. Liberated from the things that hold us back, the people that don’t get us or put us down, and the old programming that no longer applies. It’s constant progress and it is happening.

It could be anything that leads to your freedom mile. Perhaps it’s financial independence or leaving behind a job that sucks the life out of you. Maybe you are leaving behind a abusive or toxic relationship, maybe it’s just a matter of moving on. Each freedom mile is unique, different and very personal. And it’s painful and ugly at first, but trust me when I tell you that you will be rewarded in ways never imaginable if you stay the course.

So please understand this;

Bad chapters can still create great stories. Wrong paths can still lead to right places. Failed dreams can still create successful people, and sometimes it takes losing yourself to find yourself.

You can’t go wrong and perhaps every negative experience only makes you stronger. Strong enough to walk your “Freedom Mile.”

Chin up, it’s worth the effort.

Where is your “incredibly happy”

On a simple thought, it doesn’t actually take very much to make the deepest part of us incredibly happy.

What’s meant for you will be there. What’s meant to fall away will find a way out of your life. What you think you want, may not be what you actually need. And what you need, may not be what you actually want. But what is it that nourishes that deep part within you with the feeling of contentment? It’s really rather simple, but the more distractions you have in your life, the more difficult it gets.

One of my simple pleasures is camping, where you have so little and where your luxuries are stripped. You live in the most primitive way and yet you will probably make a much better connection, feeling richer in many ways. You sleep in a simple shelter, but you wake up to an awesome view. You feel nurtured and restored by things that truly matter, besides you might end up missing your bed. 😂

The view is of your choice, wherever you decide to pitch your shelter/house, but it also feeds the view within. You can hear the wind and the raindrops falling on your tent as the gentle drips put you to sleep the night before. You feel the warmth’s of the sun as it is time to rise and greet the new day. There you are with minimal stuff (distractions from the material world), and suddenly you feel lighter, like a burden has been lifted. The responsibilities that keep you suppressed have lifted, even if temporary and you can finally breathe. You’re grounded, with Mother Earth lying under your feet. A sense of peace and stillness spreads through your body and you’re amazed with how little you truly need.

Have you ever asked yourself what it is YOU truly need to be incredibly happy? What is truly essential?

Sleeping Lady Mountain

How cool is this?

The sleeping lady mountain, about 33 miles northwest of Anchorage Alaska. Picture taken from a drone.

Our Mother Earth is beautiful, isn’t she?

Restored to Wonder

Picture from last weeks hike.

Come celebrate with me…

It took 32,103 steps, 11.5 miles or 18.5 kilometers, and 67 flights of stairs climbed to be rewarded with this view. One flight of stairs equals 20 feet or 3 meters. I was worried I would run my tank up on empty, but I managed. The adventure took me through the rain and the thunder and the lightning. I will write a full post about that experience another time as it is worthy to be shared and acknowledged.

Not so long ago this would have been unimaginable.

I’m restored to Wonder. 🙏🏼

PS. I will be gone for a bit restoring myself some more 😉. Well actually it will be the longest trip in awhile with a one day break and taking in the full moon next week. I’m pushing on to new heights and it’s yet to be seen how I hold up.

Your visits are always appreciated 🙏🏼, and your comments will be answered when I return. ❤️

The many shades of loneliness

Picture taken from google

There are many shades of loneliness and I felt one just yesterday. Out of the blue it snug up on me, and I am yet to discover the reason and what actually brought it on. Sadness swept through my body for no apparent reason and without some major occurrence that would explain why. Perhaps I held it together and it’s something that happened earlier, a few days ago, a year ago, just now revealing itself. Perhaps it is now that I am ready and prepared to deal with it, while no longer denying it’s existence. Perhaps it is now that I can finally face the music and no longer deny the inevitable that was always meant to be. Perhaps it’s time to see and understand it in all it’s complexity and details. Am I ready to see it for what it truly is? Has the ego that induces hurt feelings and foolish pride completely stepped to the side, or is it just a trap. What’s to be lost, sitting here, alone, with myself, lost in this shade of loneliness! Nothing, not anymore.

Carl Jung quoted it and said that loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.

This is the most powerful statement I have read in awhile, and it sums it up to the T. How many times have I felt this way. Surrounded and yet lonely. It makes me realize that I have been stuck in this shade of loneliness for quite some time, and yet it’s something I have no control over. I don’t want to fit the cookie cutter norm just like everyone else but it comes with a price.

I am that weirdo, the different and complicated one. The one with the unconventional mind, the misfit that did things always a little different and made waves. I am the one who loves too much, the open book that doesn’t hold back, only to reveal itself so the information can later be used against her. I am that person who has made herself a rebel in a world of convention, rules and social norms that have never fit me. I am the one with daring views, the one aways in the line of judgement and being misunderstood. It almost sounds pitiful, but it’s not and I continue to learn and accept that that’s life for me. I continue to understand that’s it’s always much easier to walk away from someone instead of putting in the work to understand views that are different than yours. I am learning to understand that it’s not my fault but really yours.

And while I embrace these qualities and can’t change them, I also realize that it can be a very lonely place at times.

And today is much better already.

The shadow self – The acknowledgement

From time to time we should take a look at ourselves and work with our shadow self. We all have one and it’s the side of us that’s usually hidden in the dark. The side that is less than perfect, a side that is impulsive and wounded. It’s also a side that acts out of character, and that can wound others in an order to protect itself. It’s usually a side we hide and at times avoid to acknowledge. After all it’s painful to stare our flaws into the face, or is it?

Our shadow self might signify our insecurities, our poor behavior and how we react to challenges, but it might also close us up, unable to react at all which can do harm as well. In an article by lonerwolf it is mentioned that if you are truly honest about growing and living your life to the fullest, you will at some point come across many parts of yourself that you’ll find difficult, if not completely disturbing to accept.

These ugly and frightening parts of ourselves are elements of the shadow self: the darker side of our nature. Have you summoned your courage and met some of these parts yet?

The shadow self is an archetype that forms part of the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, precessions, and embarrassing fears. It’s often what we perceive as chaos and it’s everything that leaves us vulnerable. Almost like judgement day, an attack on our character. This often leaves us wanting to defend ourselves. Surely we are not that bad, are we, “they must have gotten it all wrong, and why couldn’t they see our good intentions?”

So who is this shadow self? It is a part of us, although initially we are born pure, like a blank sheet of paper. But at some point throughout our childhood we learn to separate our experiences into two categories. Good and evil. From the moment we engage in this knowledge our shadow self is born and we begin to divide ourselves into multiple parts. The dark shadow traits accumulate just as much as the pure, light ones do, and it depends on our experiences which part weighs heavier. This happens in the unconscious mind and is never fully integrated into our conscience.

I say that we need to be aware and visit this side from time to time because a lack of awareness can be dangerous. As the dark side within us accumulates and goes without acknowledgment, it can actually take over and tip the balance. It can manifest depression as well as our inner demons. The denial can lead to physical, emotional, and psychological, as well as interpersonal consequences that last a long time.

There is much more that can be said and perhaps I will break it down into a series, should there is any interest. But for now I just want you to sit with your shadow self and try to acknowledge it. Can you recognize some of these traits that make up your darker side? Just be still and bring awareness to it. Be honest with yourself and don’t worry, only you will know this, and it’s your secret for the time being, for you to understand. It’s not evil or a bad part of you, but it is a part that carries a heavy load that consists of your hardships and negative experiences. And please know that your experiences do not make you a bad person. You are a survivor and you’ve made it this far.

Life, multitasking, and taking it to the Art’s

I pulled out an old friend last night and soon was poking away at it. It felt therapeutic, almost as if I’ve forgotten how much peace and joy crafts bring me. When it’s all said and done, I hope that it will turn into a hand felted drum bag for my black Buffalo Earth drum. Yesterday my badger received his face and it’s work in progress. He is coming along and I am happy with the progress though. Somehow I needed to remember him, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that out of all of my work in progress, he was the one that popped up, but that’s another story.

Sitting there, I allowed my thoughts to come and go. There was no intense concentration and luckily the creative process just seems to flow easily through me as if by some magical force. My mind was at ease and life with all its ups and downs didn’t matter anymore. I was finding joy in the “here and now,” a joy that was put to the wayside for so many months as it laid there, dormant and untouched.

Life had just dealt me one of it’s moments, a temporary perceived low. I found it hard to find the inspiration to write and luckily a few posts where prescheduled. I struggled to put together creative and inspirational messages for my blog, something that is always important to me. But I also realized that by allowing myself to feel it, I stayed authentic to myself. It was something I had to work through and so I did. I knew that the mood didn’t match the words and the best I could do is not try to force anything. It felt as if my inspiration had left me, when in fact it was always there and it was just my mind that needed a break. I wondered why I had abandoned my badger for so long, and soon realized my struggle of simple not having enough time. A struggle so many of us have to face.

But what about multitasking, I always believed myself good at it, why not now? Coming from a crazy retail management background, I’m no stranger to it and it’s something I had to do daily, while hoping the integrity and quality of my work still remained intact. Perhaps it would be a skill and attribute every woman proudly proclaims to possess, almost like our gender is born with it. Don’t we multitask all the time, juggling our day, working on multiple projects and agendas? And why…because we have to and not because of choice. (No offense to my male readers here.) I didn’t know how it would fit into all of this, but clearly it wasn’t the case here, since it had been months I last touched this project. No multitasking here, so why did this come up and what was it about!!!

Many would list multitasking as a skill, and an attribute on a job application. Have you ever realized that all you are saying is “yes I can handle stress with no problem?” You are giving the ok for yourself to work faster, harder, to multitask, while giving nothing your undivided attention, and hoping for the best outcome. You yourself are setting the bar high for yourself because you know it’s an expectation. After all the accountability still remains for you to finish your workload and do a superb job at it at any cost. You have engaged in a competition, and in this case getting the job goes to the one who can work the fastest, and who is best at being a multitasking maniac. Automatically stress is created and the hours tick away until you finally fall into bed, totally exhausted and spent. Congratulations, you have survived the day. Another awaits, the trap repeats and you have to start all over again, and so on. You get the picture and it’s not going to go unnoticed that I feel passionate about this subject. Why? Because there is no work life balance and I believe that multitasking is actually dangerous and a killer. What matters are the end results and a job done without regard of that you have to kill yourself to do so. And this leads to the next problem….greed. Having to multitask is the result of not enough time to fit everything into a certain timeframe. Of working with unrealistic expectations, of often not being set up for success. I wonder if creativity and inspiration have a place in such a world? Both have always been important to me and perhaps it was the driving force for such a choice.

Poking away at it’s face, I soon recognized that I didn’t care about multitasking all that much anymore. It took me back to a time when I too had no other choice, a time that was very hectic, stressful and unhealthy for me. A time that took it’s toll. It felt that subconsciously a change had happened, a choice was made to bid unhealthy habits farewell long before the Green juice came into play. A choice to change my life, and this was the moment where it became obvious, when awareness would shed light on the power of such a choice. In all actuality it can happen years ago like it did for me, whether we realize it at the time or not. I didn’t think that I consciously made that choice, but I know that I might have manifested it into existence, or someone in power was living me very much to look out for me with such great care. I know that I wasn’t oblivious to the things that naturally started to fall into place for me. Thank god was I aware and jumped onto the opportunity, otherwise I’d might be still caught in the same rat race, had I not.

And there it was, a little reminiscing about my past and how things used to be. How I can now make the decision to not multitask, but choose where my attention is directed towards. If life is good the inspiration flows through my words and if it’s challenging, the inspiration just takes a different course and I can channel it into a different medium, my art. The power of choice was obvious as I waived goodbye to “life’s low.”

I realize the gift and the ability to do so. The luck, and the unmeasurable opportunity of being able to choose putting multitasking on the back burner yet having it should I ever need it again. Of being so incredibly lucky to live my life this way. I know not everybody is fortunate enough and tied down by responsibility or decisions that come back to haunt us. I was no different, but I believe in the power of a choice. To tap into what we are good at at any given time. If one doesn’t work, try another and redirect your focus. Things magically have a way of working themselves out. Trust me 🙏🏼