Total Eclipse of the Heart

With the solar eclipse yesterday and a wonderful personal message from my dear fairy sister Roda, I felt poetic today and wrote a little poem that I would like to dedicate to her. Before I start gushing my feelings, I hope you already know her name well, but just in case you haven’t stopped by her blog….yet….why not…please make sure you do and be prepared to be emerged in love and kindness. She is one of a kind, a person that has touched my heart too numerous times to keep track. She has managed to move me to tears of joy a few times over the past couple of weeks. At first I thought I might have turned into an emotional mess, but second, I realized that it was her kindness, her going out of her way to make my day, her thinking of me, surprising me in a variety of ways and making me feel special was what really touched me so deeply. Roda has nominated me for several awards of which some I fell short of answering, but I hope I always find a way to else show my appreciation for thinking of me and give the proper credit and love in return.

Awhile ago, Roda sent me a book, a book for women along their journey of enlightenment and realization. A book that confirms what I already knew but it was something that gave me the reassurance that I was not alone. It’s kind of neat to read and recognize the things you are experiencing, even though they are very unique and personal, but also a common threat that binds beautiful spirits together as one. I wasn’t going crazy just yet and in all actuality I never really believed that I was. You just find yourself alone sometimes as these things are hard to explain. Roda and I connected long before the book arrived and I often have to smile when I wander over to her blog of where I’m somehow reminded of how similar we are in our beliefs, perhaps even in our journey. There is an intuition that is guided and she has a gift to drop in whenever I need it the most, whether I know it or not. And often I don’t know until a act of kindness reaches me and allows the tears to fall freely in the most grateful and humbling of releases. Bits and pieces from the poem I wrote are inspired from Roda’s message “Total eclipse of the heart” and the book she has sent me. 

Last Thursday morning, prior to a day out hiking, I saw a notification from Roda asking if a little magic had arrived. Full of excitement, eyes big and heart pounding like a little excited child getting a surprise for the first time, I drove to the mailbox on my way into town. There I found a beautiful hand written card and everything was perfect before I even got to open it. From the cute flower stationary, to the ornate hand writing in calligraphy style to the stamps of an airplane writing the word “Love” into the sky, I sat for a moment and held it in my hands as if it was the biggest treasure in a long time. And it was. I finally opened it and it was perfect once more as it read….

” All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.” 

How perfect is that? I was touched beyond means as I felt that she always understands me and my journey even when words are absent or I haven’t really said much. There is a knowing without words, a respect for the journey and a special kind of bond. Roda drew my first oracle card which was “Metamorphosis” and rest is history. I feel that it was a spiritual act where we connected on yet a deeper level. The wonderful mail accompanied me on my hike that day (and actually I had it with me for several days). Later on, card in hand, I read it aloud to another special friend while being a passenger. Only this time I could not finish without becoming very emotional and choking on my words. There was a release of some sort and the realization of how long I had been so strong. How long I had fought to protect my heart. How long I endured deceit and insincerities, while all I ever hoped was to contribute and find a way to be accepted. Even though I have achieved it, life hasn’t always made it easy and at times it almost distorted my beliefs in humanity. I had come to accept that that was just the way it was, almost as if I was undeserving of more. I know it sounds a bit like self pity, but that is not the intend as I never complained through the process of it all. Today I even believe that it was all necessary for my growth and that even the pain has a place in the journey. 

Roda’s kindness took me by surprise and released the so said pain of which I didn’t realized that it was still tucked away somewhere deep inside. I’m not sure if there is more that will come out another time, but my heart feels lighter and I continue to move forward, for myself and in the hope to show others who are struggling that anything is possible. I felt grateful and blessed by this random act of kindness and being bestowed such a wonderful gift. This blog has put me in touch with many wonderful people and I do know that kindness exists out there. You show me every day with your interest and feedback, the bonds we have built and I’m forever grateful. Roda’s card was to send me off to Germany and to wish me well with the toughness of everything that lies ahead. It was the thought and taking the time out of her own busy life to make someone else’s day that was worth more than it’s weight in gold. 

And then came yesterday and a wonderful recorded message from her. A personal thought and surprise that stopped me once more in my tracks. I had just arrived at work as I listened to her video voice memo. Again I got emotional and a second release followed. Life has been tough at times, but I will never lose faith or become bitter, not if I can help it through choice. I could never put into words what these gestures have meant to me. They serve as a reminder that we all have the ability to do something special for someone and that we should do it more often. It often doesn’t take money, and even when time is scarce, all that truly is required, is for it to be important, and we will always find a way to prioritize what should matter the most. Thank you Roda for making me feel that I matter and for always being there. I could never thank you enough and you are truly one in a million.

Total Eclipse of the Heart (dedicated to my special Fairy sister Roda)

I trust my own darkness to reveal my truth.

To allow it to force me to pause and find my own matter in the grand scheme. 

To embrace the pain it might bring in times of darkness and to be patient as it gives way to the light that surely will follow.

I trust my own darkness to show me the way, to let it guide me without resistance and banish the mundane.

To look forward to the messages that it holds, and to feel excitement for the signs that confirm the right path for me.

I trust my own darkness to stretch me in ways sometimes unimaginable, to show me the lessons when I can’t see what’s next and to fill my heart with wonder and believe. Always….

I trust my own darkness…

Photo Credit: Unknown/Google and one of few pictures that are not my own.

Red Dragonfly

It’s been the summer of Dragonflies, a magical time of Fairy realms, change, transformation and adaptability. Dragonfly has invited me to dive deeper into the realm of emotions and feelings. To be on the lookout for false illusions and deceit and be prepared to see through the veil of what is not always clear. Dragonfly has been a constant companion during this year’s outings and I don’t remember ever seeing so many. Unexpectedly, they have appeared in the most of unusual places, such as the parking lot at work, sitting on an antenna ball, swarming shallow water crossings in high numbers, they have landed on my arm, unafraid or bothered by my human presence or flew around me while swimming in an alpine lake. 

The majority has been blue in color with a few brown ones, but that was about to change as the other day, I had the pleasure of having a red one land on a tiny branch right next to me. There it sat, keeping me company, while together we admired the glistening lake as a back drop right in front of us. Dragonfly, a tiny, whimsy reminder and messenger of everything that lies ahead and what is yet to come. The signs have bee amazing and without resistance but full of wonder, I value the guidance they have provided for me.  

Spot the deer, dear…

This picture was taken last week during what I call the magical hour. Dusk was setting in and I stayed out late to watch the sunset falling over Gold Lake. One of my little friends came out of the woods to visit and hang out with us for quite some time. Unbothered by our presence he roamed right behind us and in close proximity, looking up ever so often when a unfamiliar noise reached his ears. He never got spooked and eventually walked off into the sunset. It is always moments like these that remain with me in the end. They might not be much to most, but everything to me and I’m grateful to be allowed to be a part of them. I believe that our spirits connect in many different forms and shapes and this was definitely one of those moments. 

PRAYING with MANTIS

It’s been awhile that I wrote what I would consider a real post. Life has been busy, busier than usual but the experiences have been nothing short of happening in this period of personal growth in my journey. 

Another funny happened to me the other day and I’m thinking about submitting the story to my friend Linda at mainepaperpusher.wordpress.com for her guest in jest series. She loves a good laugh and who could not use a little extra humor in their life. I hope to reach my goal to lift her recent tough days and scares just a little while bringing a smile to her face. If you haven’t stopped at her site, please take a moment to do so and be prepared to laugh and find sass around every corner. 

Anyways back to my story. It’s about 7:30 AM the other day as I arrive at work. The parking lot is empty for the most part with only a few random cars from other employees. It’s still early, before store opening and the world is quiet from all the hustle and bustle of retail life that is about to begin. I sit for a moment and as usual I’m fashionably early by about 30 minutes. What used to be calculated to the minute in younger years with not a moment to spare, has turned into easing into the day and putting the rush on a back burner whenever possible. A random woman is walking the parking lot. Her hair is sticking up wildly and appears non groomed. Her clothing old and dirty, I watch her for a couple of minutes and conclude that she might be homeless. She lingers around the area and takes another stroll through the lot. It’s time to go inside I decide as I grab my purse and lunch pail. A few steps away from my car, something on the ground catches my eyes. It appears straw like and the color contrast against the dark asphalt was hard to miss. Perhaps a twig of some sort, but somehow it commands me to look closer. Wow, well “Hello there dear Praying Mantis”, I almost mistakingly took you for a stick. Luckily I missed you and didn’t run you over with the car. I forget about everything around me as I try to snap a quick picture with my phone. The top view doesn’t do it any justice and I’m not happy with the result. I know that I have to get down low if I want to capture anything worthwhile. Purse and lunch pail aside I’m now on my knees in the empty parking lot in front of this Praying Mantis that can’t be seen from a few feet away from me. A picture that would even had the wild haired homeless woman wonder and raise an eyebrow in good old “What the heck” fashion. I don’t care and frankly I forgot all about her even being there. She is somewhere close by and all I know is that she could be standing right next to me, this very moment. I’m focused (literally and all pun is fully intended) on my little unusual friend. On my knees, upper body extended forward my hair is on the ground and I’m inches from the dirty pavement. I finally get my picture and I’m happy with the new and improved version of the prior picture. Back at my feet, I see the woman weirdly stare at me from a distance and I realize that she was still there, obviously watching the whole thing. She is now hanging out at the front door of which I have to enter, waiting for me as I appear to busy myself on the phone reviewing the pictures I just took. She waits, unwavering, inquisitive look on her face and all and a confrontation with her is unavoidable. Within a few feet from her, she decides to meet me half way and begins walking towards me. I prepare to give her some money for a warm meal but instead she has another type of question for me. She grabs my arm, bewildered with a look of seeking to understand what just happened in front of her eyes. What weird thing possessed me to hit the ground, arms extended in front of me facing south she is curious. “Where you Praying out there?” she asks my with the most serious look on her face. Now it’s my turn to sport the bewildered look as all I can muster to say with a short laugh was “Well yes, I was PRAYING with MANTIS. I’m sure she didn’t understand what I was talking about, but the picture and this incident became the joke of the day and even now is still a funny one to tell. 
So, here is the picture I did capture of my friend “Mantis” and I hope you enjoy the story and it brings a smile. Xo 🦋💙

As a spirit animal, Praying Mantis brings the blessings of stillness, intention, attainment, fulfillment and satisfaction. 

In a symbolic meaning  it will bring the magic of evolution, hypnotism and spiritual perception. 

Not at all strange to see this beautiful sign from the universe at this point of my journey. 

An Intention/Prayer for the Broken-Hearted

What a powerful message from my dear friend Shelly and I fell in love with her words. Thank you for the compassion and taking a moment to be in tune with your surroundings and the needs and struggles of others. After all, we all find ourselves in moments we can use some extra love from time to time. Make spreading joy a fulltime habit.

Love is Stronger

Over the years, I have been helped tremendously by intentions or prayers that other people have written. Lately, I have been writing my own. This is an intention/prayer I wrote for the broken-hearted. If you believe in God, you can use this as a prayer. If you do not believe in God, you can use this as an intention and say something like “May the broken-hearted be surrounded by comfort and healed from violence, oppression, etc” or “May I be surrounded by comfort and healed from violence, oppression, etc.”

View original post

Princesses and Warriors

“Why grow up a Princess? When you can be a Warrior! 

-Rhapsody Bohėme….Keep fighting 🦋

Wild Spirit…🦋

“Her messy hair is a visible attribute of her stubborn spirit.
As she shakes it free, she smiles knowing wild is her favorite color.”

-J. Iron Word 

Circle of friends

No trip up to Winnemucca Lake is complete without stopping and taking a picture of this tree. There’s something about this tree that makes me pause each time and photograph it as if it was my very first picture of it. It draws me in and I’m not sure what continues to attract me to it. Perhaps just like the tree in my “Barren” post, it is the stark contrast that stands out within the beautiful surroundings. The lush meadows, full of life, the wildflowers, the glistening lake and the mountains that seem to breath life into me and this tree that stand stripped of all life. 

Looking closer, I see many trunks forming a circle. A circle of friends, united as one. Supporting each other to stand strong. I have hiked past this circle many years now and it’s unchanged and just like I remember seeing it the first time. United in numbers, withstanding the harsh Sierra winters of the higher elevations, the tree continues to whisper to me and draws me into it’s timeless beauty. I could look at it for hours and heart feels at peace in it’s presence. 

Metamorphosis

A recent picture and a butterfly in my hand. He stayed there for quite awhile, still and just hanging out. The signs of the spirit animals and the guidance of my journey continue to be strong, entering my life at dizzying speeds. Yesterday alone I had six signs that I will detail in another post as I still interpret how all of them are connected into one solid message. 

I believe that the signs are always here, so keep your eyes open for anything out of the ordinary. There is a reason as to why they are sent to you and the universe is trying to tell you something. 

Butterfly, a sign of personal transformation and metamorphosis. Big things are in the making….

Cloud watching

Have you ever just watched the clouds and made out a shape? That’s exactly what I did today and besides seeing the most beautiful sunset, I also was blessed with seeing an angel.