Posted in Life, Purpose driven, Soul

“The story of my life”

Have you ever heard someone referring to an unfortunate event with the saying “it’s the story of my life?” This phrase seems to fit only the hardships and I don’t recall anyone ever using it while something positive has happened to them. It’s quite the opposite, and it’s always referring to something negative, to something bad that is filled with emotions and pain. It’s a bad thing that has happened frequently and sometimes it’s used in a humorous context, even though we brace ourselves and have come to believe that we attract these circumstances. That pain and darkness is ours but luck and good fortune is not. We use “the story of my life” to lament the fact that a particular misfortune is about to happen, or has happened already. It’s about something you have experienced many times, something you know all too well.

On the contrary nobody has ever shouted from the rooftop of how lucky and blessed they are, or have they? I wonder if this would be deemed as acceptable behavior or would we think that the poor soul must have gone bonkers! Would we shake our head in disbelief or would we feel jealous and envious, secretly wishing that we could the same? Or would it fuel the gossip mill and give us something to talk about, unable to relate and therefore easily deemed as foreign behavior? Could we celebrate and be happy with that person, the one that is different from us and would our compassion meter have enough to share with another besides ourselves?

With certainty it is not the norm to hear someone proclaim such a statement and maybe it is an invitation for us to count our blessings and DO shout it from the rooftop or wherever else with gusto and every inch of our being. Maybe it is an opportunity to commit and try it for ourselves. What we’ve been programmed to assume when someone uses this phrase is someone soaking wet, caught in a heavy downpour at the worst possible timing, as if one thing has lead to another, in defeat, and because “when it rains it pours.”

What about if we looked at “the story of our life” through a different lens! How would you describe the story of your life? What would it entail? What have you come to expect when it comes to your own chapters? Is pain a big part of the story?

Posted in Life, My story, Purpose driven

Soulcraft

An excerpt from the book I’m currently reading, called Soulcraft by Bill Plotkin. I have only started it but it’s said to be a survival guide for the wild soul at the heart of our civilized life. It sounds perfect and definitely perfect timing.

Many people industrialized cultures of western civilization recognize that a fulfilling life is not about superfluous economic advancement, that modest amounts of security and comfort serve adequately as foundation for a creative and soul-stirring life, and that each of us can bring a unique gift to the world, a world desperately in need of the socially transforming contributions of initiated, actively engaged adults. I hear the world itself calling for a Renaissance of the human soul or, as James Hillman says, for a psyche the size of the earth.

Posted in Inspiration, My story, Purpose driven

Garage (sale) frenzy

The last garage sale is in the books and we are DONE. What a frenzy it was and people came out of the woodworks. Nothing beats free and that’s exactly what it was. Out of time, it was more important for people to show up and hail it away, vs. us having to deal with it another week. And buy did they show up. Luckily…

Earlier today I said that it was a strange feeling seeing everything come full circle. First you work and bust your behind for it, only to find out later that it doesn’t serve your purpose anymore and you must part with it. For the most part is was easy, strange having people riffle through your personal belongings, but overall what was left behind was one more truckload to the donation center. Luckily it will be gone and a few things did sting and hurt a bit. I see them as making room for a new future, a new life. One that will carry over very few things from the old one and I’d rather buy my own things now. Mismatched things, no sets of dishes or silverware, but whatever speaks to me. I am an artist and it will be fun to support a eclectic, unconventional purpose, right down to cups and plates. If I host a get together later at some point, it will matter most what company we find ourselves in, a simple lifestyle, minimized but carefree and light, and not what China we are eating our meal on and from what Crystal glass we drink.

For the time being, a few plates and other things will make the transition as I cannot go out and buy everything I need. But I plan to grab something when it catches my eye and replace the old with more meaning. It’s the story of my life isn’t it and kind of what’s happening now. Stepping into the light fully, pursuing my purpose, making changes for a more meaningful life. It’s a journey and probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever did. It’s sometimes scary and yet I know that I have to continue. Everything has lead up to this moment and the time has come where my old self has to die to be reborn into its true purpose.

Posted in Inspiration, Purpose driven, words

Nefelibata

It’s new word Monday as we kick off another week. Today’s word comes to us from Portugal and it somehow spoke to me and my journey.

It translates into “Cloud Walker” and it’s no secret that I do hold a love affair for the white “Puffies” that magically set the ambience of any scene.

Further it describes someone who lives in the clouds of their own imagination or dreams. Or one who does not obey to the conventions of society, literature, or art.

I’d say it’s a great summary of me these days and sums it up nicely, although not all inclusive. But mostly 😉

Anyone relating to this?

Posted in Inspiration, Purpose driven, Spiritual awakening

Awakening to the journey

Awakening begins when you question everything you were ever taught; everything you’ve been told; and everything you thought you knew. So what is this journey we all set out on, where our lives are filled with experiences good and bad? Why do we feel like the underdog at times with things so hard and difficult?

My awakening process started a few years ago and posed some of the same questions listed above. Nothing seemed to fit anymore and nothing felt authentic to my true self. What does that even mean and what is it that becomes one’s authentic true self? You will know when you get the sense that your actions are mere compliance. When you do things against your heart and better judgement, but because everyone else is doing it, and therefore it must be the right thing to do. Perhaps you feel a great deal of unhappiness and restlessness. You are always looking forward to the future and all the things you are going to do and accomplish, not realizing the unrest you are giving to your current “Now.” You may feel at a loss, unsure of where to start and the whole picture is just too overwhelming.

People often tell me “Ah, you are so spiritual, and you are so lucky. I am so jealous of your outdoor adventures, how do you stay so positive, and are you ever in a bad mood.”. Spirituality is hard work, and it definitely is not the nice, quiet life. It means constantly being on fire. It means allowing yourself to be reduced to ashes, over and over again. Until you become the clearest and purest channel for spirit. What is to die is also give to rise. This journey requires many experiences, good and painful, many lessons and a willingness to be teachable. It also depends on how much you are willing to let go off, if you could give up your current conveniences and just take the plunge, jumping off the hamster wheel. It takes a lot of soul searching and analyzing what it is YOU truly want. Is the career something you truly aspire to, and why, or is it what you’ve been groomed to do, the status, your ego, what society expects of you? What are you rewards and will that change your current “Now” to a point you’d be happy with.

Chances are that no matter what it is you want, you will have to put in the work. Whether it requires long working hours with little time for yourself and anything else, or whether it is spiritual work in search of answering the “what if” questions and finding your purpose. It will require work and your staying power is determined by your dedication and desire to get there. Nothing ever comes easy and it would have no meaning if it did. I’ve had plenty of time over the years for my own soul searching and things are ever changing and moving along.

It’s been a journey of realizing that it isn’t so much about becoming anything. For me it continues to be a journey about unbecoming everything that isn’t really me, and shedding the layers of social conditioning, old programs, and what I was once taught. It’s an unlearning of values and beliefs that were never mine, but to seek the ultimate truth that is in line with myself.

Why put in all that work and what’s the purpose? Because it’s the only way worthwhile in an attempt to become who I was always meant to be.

All things start the same, with one single step.

Posted in Adventure, Experience, Hiking, Human spirit, Inspiration, Mother nature, My story, Purpose driven

Days like these 

Today belongs to me and there are few things that could make it feel better than it already is. Officially the holiday stress and the annual inventory right after the beginning of the New Year has ended for me. I’m waiving it goodbye, without turning back to watch it disappear. Bye bye…I won’t miss you. I would like to say until next time, but I’m not so sure right now if there will be another and I’m leaning towards that I rather there won’t be another. Hard work with little time to do what truly matters is becoming such a waste of time to me these days and I have to do some prioritizing while there is still time. What made it even worse was that I got sick at the tail end with Vertigo that lasted a few weeks. Thank goodness it has passed for the most part and I feel that I might recover on my own without the need of physical therapy. Which is great news all in all, fingers crossed that I will continue to climb my uphill battle.After a blizzard like, scary, dark, slippery ride home from work last evening, I’m off for the next two days. It’s been storming non stop outside and Mother Nature has really pulled a few numbers since the beginning of this year. Record levels of snow have fallen already of which later turned to non stop rain, causing over 1300 homes being evacuated due to river flooding within the last two days. Today we are back to snow and over 20 feet of snow has fallen in parts of the Sierra since 2017 has made its debut. As if it wasn’t enough and it’s not over yet and predicted to last through Thursday, with 10 more feet of snow on the way today. 

I love stormy days like this when I’m tucked safely inside my castle (a Cancers home 😉) and have the day to do what I want. I went to sleep last night listening to the storm, knowing that I had nowhere to be while the wind and the rain was pounding against my window. Later on the rain was replaced by an eerie silence and the night sky was illuminated by heavy snowflakes falling from the heavens as the temperatures were dropping. 

Today there are no chores (well a tiny few must do’s), and deadlines are replaced with a little writing, painting, listening to music while lounging in my favorite onesie, watching a movie while sipping green tea and hot chocolate and maybe a bubble bath later on. Does it get any better than this? 

Everything has its time and place, but I also realize that I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge my yearning and excitement that has me looking forward to an adventure outside. It looks like I will be doing a lot of snowshoeing this year since most of my favorite parts will be covered in a deep snowpack for quiet some time. Perhaps a perfect time to visit the ocean and soak up some sun. I can hear the annual Monterey trip calling my name and I can see myself walking the beach, picking up seashells and other treasures along the way. “Holy rocks” from one of my favorite beaches, feathers and lobster claws included are amongst some of my favorites. Yeah I’m nerdy like that and it has always been the little things, (most of them are free) that have become my biggest treasures. All accompanied by great memories and tons of pictures to hold on to those very moments. Being allowed to experience those times is what makes it priceless to me and it doesn’t matter what it is or where I go, it is the journey of getting there and all it’s little moments that make it so special and memorable. We’ll see where the wind will take me and as I also have family in Vegas in February which could be a little escape and an awesome visit to connect. 

Living on the California border has its advantages and offers a quick escape to milder climates, as well as snow free hiking. I’m not worried about not getting outside, but I am anxious for that first trip, taking that deeeep, deeeep breath of gratitude, that sigh of relief while feeling everything inside restored as the stresses melt away by allowing Mother Nature to fix it all. 

The only thing better that can top this is….to share it with special people if you can. People that understand and feel the same way without any words ever needing to be exchanged. 

They say a picture says a thousand words and I would agree. But I would like to add to it by saying….

It only takes one moment and one look, exchanged in silence that speaks louder than words and says it all. 

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Mother nature, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Wisdom

Spiritual awakening – Stage 5 

This stage had a big calling for me and it was said to be the stage of developing your spiritual gifts. The beginning of seeking a deeper connection with the source as you continue to tap into new learnings and miracles that are unfolding right before your eyes. Even though stage 5 is your main stage at this point, it is not uncommon to experience previous learnings and stages at the same time. You are just further in the process with more things making sense and coming full circle. But more about this later which is better described in stage 6.
Typical events experienced during this stage include:
Meditating – I believe meditation comes in many different forms. Most people might envision a person sitting on the ground, legs crossed in front of them with their eyes closed. To me, meditation was everything that calmed my soul and gave me peace of mind. It was something that I found in doing the things I loved whether it was doing art, listening to music or in my voracious reading attempts. It was fuel for my soul, but the most peaceful feeling I experienced out of all, was when I was in nature and felt as if I had returned home. And while I experienced joy in all activities, it was always nature that evoked that deep breath and a deep sigh of renewal. As if I was reborn and had acquired the strength to continue in real life and reality. 
It tied in with the experience of other mindful activities that were described which could also include yoga and Qigong. 
Creating was another, including painting, writing, singing etc. This one was huge for me as well with some activities spanning over several years. The paintings started after Sparky’s death and a talent or passion for such had prior been undiscovered. So did the writing and it was just recently that I had been inspired to pursue my passion of becoming a storyteller, a healer, somebody to share their own experiences in the hopes of benefitting others. I wrote a few times before but never at the level I am doing now and this blog is still in its infant stages. 
Other example events were studying healing modalities such Reiki. Honing your intuition by doing your own angel card readings. Strengthening your relationship with your spiritual guides and wanting to heal the world. 
Big daunting tasks that might seem overwhelming and you might ask yourself “Me, little ole me….heal the world”?. How exactly am I going to do that? I sure spend some time thinking about it and I have come to the conclusion that all I can ever do, is to do my part. To find my place and hopefully inspire a few along the way. I’m one, standing against the many who are still asleep, but I’m not alone and everybody has the potential to make a difference and contribute in their own way. Asleep or awake, we each have to find our own path and together we become the many that impact our daily life’s. 
Typical emotions expressed during this stage are said to be joy and eagerness, feeling the reconnection with yourself through your higher source. Finding your purpose and what you were meant to do, wanting to share your gift with others. It was a time things began to make more sense as it left me at a better vantage point to explain the emotions and experiences that I was living through. Intuitions materialized and premonitions became true. In many ways I felt as if I had become my own healer. I was on to improving my health and to live a healthier life style. Be more aware of healing foods and strangely, here too, it was that I searched the all knowing web and felt many times as if I had read these articles before. Or maybe I was doing something already without ever reading it. Being guided as if an inner voice was steering me. It was strange and it was something I couldn’t explain at the time. And then Pinterest came to my aid once more and I came across the mentioning of being an “Old soul” and a whole new roam to explore. 

Posted in Art, Buddhism, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, music, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Wisdom

Tired….so tired.

Ughhhh….I’m tired and if I wasn’t already, I definitely feel the holiday stresses catching up. More and more I find myself just vegetating away after work in the little time that seems to be left, playing a game on the iPad to relax and just “Be”. A game that requires no concentration while drowning out all noise as I play it in silent mode. The rest is filled with reading (my main read has been mailed off to be autographed and I’m waiting patiently for its return), when I’m not writing or another creative outlet to allow my mind to dangle carefree with not a single thought in mind. I had every intention to write this morning but my mind seems to be a bit foggy as it is resting up for another day of retail madness hahaha. I find myself sliding more and more towards the majority of people asking “Is it over yet?” and it truly makes me sad. It takes away from the true meaning of a time that should be filled with magic and wonder. I’m sure many people feel like this as the stresses mount and I hope you find time to pause and do something that allows your soul to marvel. Heck, I hope I do so myself. I feel like I’m sleeping my life away right now as I try to rest enough to stay healthy and make it through another day.
Another favorite outlet is music and art for me, which I often combine. Listening to music while creating something that is one of a kind is very soothing and feeds my ever growing need to create. It actually ties into one of the stages of spiritual awakening which will be the next chapter I write.

My paintings are fed by intuition and the events that happen in my life. Therefore they often become very personal to me as they remind me and resemble a certain time of my life. 

Here is an unfinished painting I started awhile back before I first stumbled across the article about spiritual awakening. It’s a bit creepy and you can see the similarities in my painting and the picture of the article, even though I had never seen it before. The Rays coming from the head, perhaps energy fields, waking up…..I’m not sure how my mind painted something I had never seen, something I would stumble across at a later time. You can imagine my astonishment and surprise as I saw the article. It looked strangely familiar, but I couldn’t place it at first until I saw my unfinished painting sitting in the corner, resembling those same lines emitting from the person. ??????

Creepy? What do you think….? Was my mind and subconscious trying to show me something? Divine intervention perhaps? A nudge from the divine universe?

The picture from the article I read…..

My unfinished painting….notice the lines and eyes closed in both pictures as if taking in a greater meaning, awareness, a spiritual awakening of the mind.

Posted in Buddhism, Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Wisdom

Spiritual awakening – Stage 4

Stage 4 in my journey was “Seeking to understand” and I definitely knew something had changed within. I was on to something, I just didn’t know what. Life felt enriched in many ways and yet I couldn’t put my finger on it to explain how so. Besides, there was also confusion when hunches materialized. It felt as if I had experienced something before, and yet I knew all too well that I had never been in those situations before. My perception had shifted and I felt more aware of everything around me. I had questions, but more so I felt strangely at ease and contend with how life was progressing.Stage 4 was described as seeing magic in the mundane and I remember straightening the sales floor one evening, preparing the store for the next shopping day. Not exactly a job that required a lot of brains and it was definitively different from what I was used to while running my own store. It was a non challenging task, a part of my job that could feel downright boring and mundane. There was nothing liberating about completing this task, it was simply just work, a means to pass the time, making a living and it was lacking a feeling of accomplishment. The job got done, but it held little significance to me, even though it was a task that couldn’t be compromised and had to be completed. Something happened that particular night and I remembered the movie “Night at the museum” with Ben Stiller guarding all the treasures inside the museum. Strangely I identified with this role as if it was up to me, the closing manager, to return all the toys to their rightful spot since they had gotten lost throughout the day. And just like that there was “Magic in the mundane”. A make believe fairytale, a land far away with all the toys coming to life long after everybody was gone. Of course that wouldn’t happen in reality but magic is reality to the one who believes and sees magic all around. And if not so then it was definitely the beginning of me going crazy haha. 
Some typical event of this stage to be experienced were: 
The thirst for spiritual knowledge – I found myself spending less time on social media, especially Facebook. Pinterest continued to be my best friend, flashing new pins at me that corresponded and tied in with prior saved ones, promoting my thirsting knowledge to grow even more.
Voracious reading – was an active part in my discovery and I realized that the stages I had experienced so far where much more than a phase. It wasn’t something that I completed and had moved on from, but it was something that was here to stay and to be experienced over and over. Something to add to my repertoire that enriched my soul and was here to stay with me forever. 

New books were flooding my home in the quest to learn more, seeking to understand. They were books connected to the soul, self help, the words of others who had experienced what I was going through and even a book talking about conversations with God. It was also a time I stumbled across Buddhism and Hinduism which I related to in many ways and felt connected.
It was a time said that you might seek like minded individual to share your findings – I was still a bit reluctant to share my experiences, in part due to not fully understanding them myself. I knew that it was during this phase that it must have felt to friends and family as if I had vanished off the planet. I didn’t keep up with connections as much as I should have been, or should I had? In prior times, everybody always came before me. It wasn’t that I became selfish overnight, but I was going through something, something I couldn’t explain just yet. I was on a journey to either find myself or return back home to myself and to who I was meant to be. I had felt lost for a long time and it was time to take care of myself for once. How was I going to explain that to anybody? I knew there was no way that I could have articulated that one, nevertheless trying to share it with somebody in the hopes that they could relate and understand what I was talking about. 
It was also mentioned that you might seek physic readings or attend a workshop. Although intriguing, I never did. Yet, that was and I say “Never say never”. As of now there are no plans to do so, but if one crosses my path at the right time, I can see it to be very possible that I will indulge. 
Another event could be traveling to sacred places such as Sedona, Stonehenge or Machu Picchu. My experience with such will require a separate post as there is so much to be said. 
And last but not least was seeking your true purpose. Something that could be experienced through really any stage. It’s another big one, one that makes me wonder how you might feel about this and if you have ever wondered about your purpose here on earth? Is there something that we are meant to do, and how do we know if and when we are doing it? For me it was and continues to be something that is connected to my core, my soul, something I feel deep inside. Something that is hard to explain but what is filled with the gratitude of being allowed to make a difference, or at least trying to do so and being able to see the bigger picture through increased intuition. The effort and desire to give it my best shot. It’s something that bestows the gift of awareness, letting me take it all in without taking anything for granted and finding joy in the simple things of life. The little things that often become the big things in life. Finding magic in the mundane and the strength to pursue and change my stars as I see them fit. It’s something that gives me the patience to endure by knowing that everything is how it is meant to be, even though there are big changes ahead in my immediate future. So the statement of “Hang in there” or “Everything will be ok” is out of place here and everything is already the way it is meant to be. If it has not progressed further, it is merely because another lesson needs to be learned to make the victory even sweeter. 
Typical emotions experienced during this phase are joy and exhilaration. I didn’t know how to articulate what had changed but I was happy that it did and I marveled in the feeling of bliss. Life had just become a little easier, maybe even a bit more enjoyable and the mundane tasks weren’t all that bad after all. 

There was also said to be impatience, a feeling that was described as not being able to learn fast enough. I was hungry and I had a yearning for knowledge, that was for sure. Sometimes it caused me to dabble in multiple books at the same time, but I wouldn’t label it as impatience. 
Xoxoxo ❤️