Liberty Cap and Half Dome

View of Liberty Cap and Half Dome (from the back), hiking up the Mist Trail in Yosemite. The trail passes Vernal falls, a beautiful waterfall close to the trail that causes the granite steps to become slippery with the overspray and mist from the fall. I did fell the first time as I hiked this trail, but luckily got away with a few scratches and bruises. Continuing on to the top of the trail, another reward awaits with beautiful and magnificent Nevada Falls.  

An Angel spreads it’s Wings

I came across a poem that I had written for my friend Robert in Germany. I knew Robert while living in Germany, but it wasn’t until he was dating my cousin that we became closer aquatinted. Robert was the life of the party and if I had to sum it up in a few words, he was the biggest goofball you’ll ever meet. He didn’t take things all that serious and just wanted to have a good time. While most were so proper and concerned with how to act in public, not being too childish and bringing a certain grown up seriousness to life, he didn’t care of what others thought of him and he didn’t mind to make a fool out of himself, as long as everybody had a good time. Robert was in the literal sense someone who you might title as “for real” in today’s society. He was himself without fear of approval and his simple yet refreshing nature spoke to me in many ways. He was surfing against the grain, standing out and he didn’t care. My life had been serious and adult like since the passing of my Dad and I believe Robert brought an element to my life that allowed me to forget about the seriousness and indulge in childlike abandon. He was good for my soul, while bringing much laughter, even though I couldn’t articulate and explain that back then. I only knew that I had fun and felt good in his presence and we became best of buds with our friendship growing stronger long after the split from my cousin.I still remember the day I got word that Robert had slipped at the pool, while vacationing in Spain. His neck landed at the edge of the pool which severed his spine in multiple places and ultimately left him quadriplegic. A split second, a freak accident that shattered a life that would never be again and was changed for all eternity. In an instant and without warning his childlike nature was diminished and confronted with some very serious issues. All quality of life was removed and it was painful to witness, even from an outside perspective as it was affecting those around him just as equal in some sense. It was the beginning of driving in silence for me, without music and noise as I struggled to comprehend the news and Roberts new fate. 

Robert managed somehow and stayed with us for a few more years, fighting battles only he knew in depth. We would never play with childlike abandon again and he had good days and dark days that seemed to increase as hope was slowly fading. But I got to repay him some of the kindness he had shown me and as much as I had enjoyed him dragging me out of my struggles, it now was me who did the same for him. 

I remember struggling to find the words that would breathe hope into his battered skinny body. His features had grown harsh and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes was replaced with deep set eyes that were filled with pain and despair. I still feel guilty for the days I wondered if it would have been better if Robert wouldn’t have survived this accident. Bad enough to suffer through a tragedy like this, but remaining with little to no quality of life, a burden to others like he often felt, seemed like torture. Of course this was something I never shared with him and it was hard to be there in the sense of how he needed me to be from across the miles and living in a different country. But when I was home, Robert was a priority and I made sure he had reasons to smile. I knew from his Mom that his friends came to see him less as life was going on for them and I know that he was very lonely towards the end. She always reminded me of how much hope and life I gave him and she mentioned after his passing that the poem I had writing for him was his greatest inspiration. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, feeling that there should have been so much more then just the lines on a piece of paper that he held onto. Lines that came from m heart, framed within an Angel frame who spreads it’s wings. 

Coming across this poem again and how it came to be, I feel it remains relevant to others suffering and perhaps it can shed a ray of hope for all that need a little inspiration during the dark hours. 

Here it is and it’s called “An Angel spreads it’s Wings”

An Angel spreads it’s Wings over you by day and night,

an Angel quietly sings when you wonder what life brings.

When everything is gray and makes no sense,

he brings you strengths, comes to your defense.

He takes your pain and lifts your sorrow, 

you’ll see it gets better, just wait till tomorrow 

With patience you will face each day,

finding new means in every way. 

You find hope and courage, the sun begins to shine, 

each day will bring new progress and everything is fine. 

It’s a new beginning but never the end, 

your life goes on, an Angel was sent. 

An Angel spreads it’s Wings to help through the night,

to conquer every mountain, to join you in the fight. 
Robert was buried with his Angel poem and he is a special soul that is missed beyond words. 

Archibald

Since we are on the subject of bears, here is a shot of my very first bear in the wild. I named him Archibald and he kept circling the trail because I think he smelled our sandwiches. I was able to watch him move his way through taller brush and later rip the bark off of a fallen tree, looking for grubby’s as if it was no big deal. You could really see how effortless this was for him as the bark separated immediately to reveal what was underneath. Little did I know at the time, that he would be the first sighting of many to follow throughout the year and I loved every moment of it. 

A new home for “Hope”

A little plush bear named “Hope” came into my life a few days ago and I’m sure a little child lost it along the way. Unaware, it probably fell out of a stroller or was dropped otherwise. I can’t be sure of what happened, but I believe that I was meant to find it. Once again, I really don’t know why I felt drawn to it and despite carrying my own bundle, it wasn’t that I had given up on hope or that I needed help. But sometimes we don’t realize that we do and in hindsight, I believe that this was not really about me at all and it had to do with something much greater then me. Loved ones and friends around me were struggling to keep hope alive as they were faced with day to day challenges that tucked at the very core existence of their beliefs. It made things appear hopeless in the moments of despair and sometimes it’s just plain exhausting to always be so strong. In the end we really have no other choice and I wonder what is left if we don’t have hope? Somehow, this little bear was a reminder to help the ones struggling around me, to instill hope whenever I could, to not forget to pay it forward and to be there when needed. The little bear was unusual in the sense of that it was kneeling, with it’s tiny little paws clenched together in prayer. Eyes closed, it appeared to be in deep thought, praying with all it’s might. I had never seen a bear like this before and for several days it remained at the place of where I found it, in case it’s rightful owner would return to claim it back. But that never happened and eventually “Hope” found a new home within my own four walls as a symbol for everybody out there that needs a little help. 

On a side note, I had my own plush teddy bears as a child, (what am I really talking about), I still have some now. I don’t remember if it was one of the famous Steiff Bears, but I remember their arms and legs were moving, as well as their head. Steiff was founded in Germany in 1880, by Margarete Steiff and all bears wear the in ear button trademark that distinguishes each unique bear and symbolizes a product of the highest quality, which also has the according price tag that follows. It will probably be the next thing in line with the bizarre and unexplained other things that I will want for no reason, but for now I’m ok with the reminder of hope. 

Hope is essential in our quest of never giving up and anything else is simply not optional.

Crater Lake – Oregon

Here are a few more pictures from Crater Lake in Oregon and the upper picture was taken on top of Wizard Island. It’s a cindercone within the lake that can be reached by a short boatride. The trail up to the top is short and moderately steep, but your time is limited on the island as you find yourself adhering to a boat schedule. We could have stayed longer, but our time was cut short because of that and in the end we had to rush back down to not miss the boat all together. You would never imagine that once on top of the cone, you actually find a rim that circles it and you can hike a little ways down inside the crater. Pretty neat….

The picture below was taken sitting on the lake rim with a view of Phantom Ship. Another boatride can be taken to circle the formation that got it’s name from mysteriously appearing out of the fog. A little creepy but absolutely gorgeous on a sunny day, which removes every little ounce of spook. I was actually hoping to get a few mysterious shots, but we missed the fog and only got the bright sunny shots that emphasized the cool blue. Not all that bad either and I will post some close ups soon. 😉

Struggle

Dear Universe,
Is it that I am noticing it more, or is it that you are sending me a message?

I know that we all carry our bundle and some are bigger then others. Yet there seems to be an abundance in the messages of struggle lately and I see people affected everywhere.

Filled with worries, pain, suffering and illnesses, while others bare, heartache, loss, uncertainty and fear. Ultimately all coming together on the common ground of some sort of struggle.

I just reblogged a post about the INFJ personality. I believe that I fall into this type and even though the entire post speaks to me and fits me, it is one paragraph that stands out tonight and perhaps explains why I feel so drained to the point of sickness. I just had two days off and I should feel great, but I’m not. I have aches and pains and I feel tired, so endlessly tired.

The paragraph talks about me, the empath and how we absorb the pains of others or deal with too much negativity. Here is what it says and how it can affect us….

It started last night and I was feeling so cold, even though the house was at normal temperature. I was still cold in bed, unable to sleep until well after 1 AM, only to wake up again before 6 AM this morning. Not enough sleep and rest for me. Today was filled with a few chores and I felt decent but tonight my condition worsened and despite a hot shower, I feel some unexplained pains.

I can’t help but think back to that paragraph, wondering if it bares a message. The timing to come across that particular post and the paragraph that stands out, is no coincidence I think. It is not meant to withdraw from the people I have been trying to help and be there for, but it is a message that the balance of good energy has been tipped. A reminder for the empath and that more positive energy is needed and that the balance can’t be compromised. Again I feel guided, unable to explain how I rationalize this and how this makes sense to me. But I know that I’m right and my intuition doesn’t lie.

Tonight another video and another song conveys a message where all words end. I find it fitting for myself and for all out there carrying their bundle while struggling with whatever it is that causes hardship and pain. I hope this video empowers you to take those steps forward even if you feel like life is going backwards. I hope you find the strength and never lose your believe, for when the fire is at your feet again – you will rise again. Xoxoxo

 

 

The INFJ Personality Type

Rhapsody Bohème

Source: The INFJ Personality Type

I have heard about this before, but revisiting the subject on the blog of http://Aphrolina.com who did an amazing job summing it all up, I was reminded of how fitting this is to my personality. No need for me to rewrite it as I could not say it in better words.

I think the only thing that didn’t match up was the tendency to alcohol or drugs, but everything else is truly eye opening and fits me to a “T” when it comes to the discovery of who we truly are.

And once again I find myself intrigued by yet another book I look forward getting my hands on to.

View original post

The INFJ Personality Type

Source: The INFJ Personality Type

I have heard about this before, but revisiting the subject on the blog of http://Aphrolina.com who did an amazing job summing it all up, I was reminded of how fitting this is to my personality. No need for me to rewrite it as I could not say it in better words.

I think the only thing that didn’t match up was the tendency to alcohol or drugs, but everything else is truly eye opening and fits me to a “T” when it comes to the discovery of who we truly are.

And once again I find myself intrigued by yet another book I look forward getting my hands on to.

Flint Eastwood

My Sorgenfresser (Worry-Eater) came in the mail today. I have mentioned that I’m reverting back to my childhood right? Even though that in my childhood we didn’t have these guys around, and perhaps that is the very reason as to why I want one now. Maybe it’s just another bizarre moment like the rain boot incident, the ukulele or the Easter egg coloring. It doesn’t matter, as long as it is fun. A Sorgenfresser is a plushy kind of monster, who eats your worries away. The mouth is formed by a zipper that runs across his face and when unzipped reveals a little pocket. The award winning toy was created in Germany in 2006 and has become a huge success across Europe. In 2014 Amazon predicted the Sorgenfresser to be amongst the top 20 most popular Christmas toys. 

What you do is just write or draw your worries on a piece of paper, feed it to your Sorgenfresser and zip him up. He’ll hold on to your worries so you don’t have to and together you will get through it. 

There are twelve different Worry-Eaters with different names and mine is named Flint. We had a good laugh about Flint tonight after he was officially named Flint Eastwood. It looks like he is already doing his job tonight, making me smile and laugh, even though I have not fed him any worries. 

Wizard Island

This picture offers a view of Wizard Island located at Crater Lake. I remember it being the bluest waters (that shade of blue) that I have ever seen, and I will never forget hiking the rim of this volcano. Both the outer rim that surrounds the lake and the the rim on top of a Wizard Island. We took the boat tour to Wizard, which is a cindercone in the lake and it offers a hiking trail to the top of the crater. Once on top, the trail follows the rim and you can even hike a little ways down inside the bowl or just enjoy the 360 degree views of your magnificent surroundings. I wouldn’t mind going back and spending some additional time there.