Still crossing snow glaciers to get to these places, building my endurance and strengths. But just look at that place. A slice of heaven, isn’t it?
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Author: RhapsodyBoheme
Who am I, and why I write.
I’m a dreamer and I’m not the only one. I am the one holding on to the silver lining when the skies are gray. I’m a believer that nothing is coincidence, but has purpose. I’ve made mistakes, and I see them as a part of who I am today. I have lost myself in order to find myself, and I still do from time to time. In a good way.
I’m a big child who laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious.
Career wise: I’ve been there, done that, and I took “The jump” off of the hamster wheel to change my future. I didn’t land all that softly, but I still did it. Coming full circle, I had it all, and yet I was lonely and had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of memories and I chase moments, instead of martial stuff. Less is more, and I prefer quality over quantity. You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be.
Talking about free, I see myself as a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. I find myself going against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but because it feels right to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but if you find a way, you soon realize that it is the only way to not lose who you are.
My past wasn’t easy and I come from a life that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. But now I believe that the past is history, the future hasn’t happened and the “NOW” is truly all we ever have.
In the end I realize that we all have a story to tell, and we all seek to be understood. We all yearn to be heard, to be accepted, and to find our spot in life. We try hard to fit in, some to the point of acting out of character, playing by the rules of what we think society expects of us. Until we wake one day, feeling empty and lost, with our life passing right in front of us. It’s never too late to change your stars, and it was my toughest moments, who turned out to be my greatest teachers.
They say that the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it was darkness who has shown me the light.
It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain, to learn how to dance in the rain. I believe in Magic and wonder, and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Today, I am here to tell my story because I believe that it can help others. It is my hope to bring inspiration and strengths to you, while showing you that it can be done. I know you are out there, and I know you are suffering in silence. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and your voice is being heard loud and clear. Hang on and be strong, transformation is yours.
In light and love....Rhapsody Bohème 💙🦋
Strawberry Full Moon
Picture taken from google
Last night I got to attend my second full moon drumming circle. It’s a beautiful gathering of people, that come together to celebrate the full moon and let go of any feelings and energy that no longer has room in their life. It’s a time to let go and ground that energy back to Mother Earth.
The drumming starts with the heartbeat, a sound we first heard in the womb. A sound that connects us back to Mother Earth. As you relax into your breath, your body becomes lighter and lighter. You can feel the energy moving everywhere as it fills itself with peace and tranquility. By giving yourself permission to take the time to experience these very moments, your heart is full of gratitude, and by now you are fully relaxed. The daily hustle and bustle noise quiets down, and soon all that is left behind are the sounds of nature and the chirping birds. You hear crystal clear, almost as if you have never heard it with such clarity and purpose before.
Through it all, the “heartbeat” continues as you feel the vibrations from the drum in every nook and cranny of your body. It is powerful and healing at the same time.
It is definitely a neat experience to attend a drumming circle if you have the chance. Your experience will be empowering, while leaving you feeling good about what you no longer want to manifest. But either way, you can still do your own full moon celebration and give back what no longer serves you. Have you ever thought about what those things would be?
Wounded Healers…
…aren’t born or made. They create themselves by transforming their pain into power and adversity into strength. They are spiritual alchemists who understand the value of facing the shadows and transmuting them into light. They are the Illuminators of the unseen realms and help lost souls find help, home and healing.
~Lonerwolf
Over the past years I have met many of such wounded healers here on WordPress. You are the ones who have overcome incredible odds, the ones who don’t give up, the ones that have stayed positive and hopeful, during and after times of horror. You are the ones who are my role model, the ones I feel connected through by a common thread, and the ones that inspire me to never forget how powerful the human spirit can be. Thank you for sharing your stories, and for spreading hope and love in this world. You, each and every one of you make such a huge difference, and at times you may never know, and it is your spirit that may have just saved another.❤️
Farewell, little ones
I woke up to an empty nest and my little mourning doves have left into the world. I knew it was coming, watching them spread and flap their little wings, while outgrowing their small nest. This was the last picture I got of them, just taken yesterday.
I will definitely miss them, and I already do. I couldn’t help but feel so grateful to have witnessed this precious gift of life being born almost right in front of my eyes. To watch them grow from little naked chicks into their full glory of feathers. To have received their trust, by choosing my patio as the ultimate nesting site was pretty awesome, and made me feel like their caretaker. We survived the stray cat that stalks the yard from time to time, and I learned so much about these beautiful little birds. I feel like something is missing today, and while I am so proud that we did it, that the chicks survived and are just starting their life, I also feel a bit sad and emotional. Gee what a sap I have become.
In the meantime I have a partridge family with chicks, a baby bunny, and a pregnant lizard that has moved in to distract my attention.
Namaste
We have all met that person. Faced that invisible connection that has made us feel as if we were talking to ourselves. In wonder and astonishment we have recognized a familiarity, a comfort that has always felt like home. A place of warmth that allows us to lay our weapons down and just be. A sanctuary without judgement and prejudice, a place to be carefree, a place to be understood.
When experienced, those times will come with much gratitude, and it is something we cherish and protect. It is rare, it is beautiful, and it nourishes the deepest parts of ourselves. Being on that same soul path, at the exact same time, what an incredible synchronicity. Perhaps we have passed us by, without ever knowing, or the timing was off. If we are lucky we meet again, and when it does happen and someone brings out the best in you instead of the stress in you, make sure to take the time and appreciate and honor their soul in all its beauty, because it doesn’t always happen that way. Consider yourself lucky and blessed, and most of all, never take it for granted.
Namaste 🙏🏼
I hope you live louder
Picture taken from Pinterest
I came across a little midweek inspiration with this beautiful poem from Marisa Donnelly @tinybuddha.com. It immediately spoke to me, as so many Moments escape us doing busy work, having to adult, looking after our obligations and responsibilities, or doing whatever.
It is always balance that is key and pursuing your passion and the things that allow you to live louder as often as possible. I would love to share this poem with you today while sending a huge virtual hug to whoever that needs it, and maybe a little nudge and reminder to push yourself to make time for those things. You already know it will be worth it.
I hope you live louder
I hope you laugh more. I hope you sing at the top of your lungs. I hope you drive with the windows down and let the wind rustle through your hair. I hope you hug. I hope you kiss. I hope you surround yourself with people who make you feel alive. I hope you become the type of person that brings good energy wherever you go, and the type of person people want to be around. I hope you speak what’s on your mind, that you raise your voice for injustice, that you tell others that you love them, instead of waiting until it’s too late. I hope you live louder, shine brighter. From this moment on. ❤️🦋
When life happens
It was last Saturday evening that I was starting to get sick. A little discomfort here and there, still hopeful that it would pass. By Sunday morning I was in the midsts of a violent, full blown RA flare up, bringing some new symptoms never experienced before. If I never had a migraine in my life, this definitely was one. My eyes kept going cross eyed and I couldn’t shake the pounding in my head. Not even three Advil’s did the trick. All I wanted to do is sleep. There was dizziness and hot flashes. I felt lethargic with no energy, at times not even capable of forming a thought. I don’t even know how I managed the trip to the store to get medicine, and luckily I didn’t have to drive or go alone.
Another symptom were throbbing pains, especially in my hands. Walking was also painful, although partially because of a bad sunburn acquired from expired sunscreen. There wouldn’t be much to do of anything besides sleep and praying to get better. Within a few hours of running a rheumatic fever, the blisters developed on most of my upper lip and chin area. One of the worst symptoms and the one most persistent. No lotion, no make up, no nothing. Just ugliness at its finest, smack dab in your face.
Why now I thought, already knowing the answer. In a heartbeat life brings a reminder of how quickly things can change. I haven’t talked about Mom in a long time. Nothing has changed and she hates being in the nursing home. We usually Skype every other day, but something happened last Wednesday and she wasn’t herself. Just moments into the conversation I realized how agitated Mom was and I could see it all over her face. I questioned her about what was going on and she had some harsh things to say in regards to me leaving her there and being the reason as to why she must stay there. Dad came into play again, and threats came up, mixed with insults and bad names. It was very hard to hear, but I realized that she was speaking from a place of fear and being alone. I know that she has open wounds again and I’m sure she is not happy hearing about it, let alone being instructed or told what to do about it. I found out she blames me now for not being able to get better, because I am keeping her in such a horrible place. In the end I was unable to turn things around and to meet her with love and faith. She choose not wanting to have a part of it and instead closed the iPad and hung up. I would lie if I said it didn’t hurt and upset me. Yes it’s not my mother talking when she acts like this, but try and listen to it and be on the receiving end while you are doing all you can.
Nearly six months have past since I left and is losing hope and faith that I come back to take her home. Nearly six month of trying to get back on my own feet and healthy. She is out of reality that it is not possible unless her home is remodeled to accommodate her in the wheelchair. She doesn’t want to do those things, but doesn’t realize that her current housing situation (at home) no longer fits her needs and it is me who gets caught in the crossfire. She has decided not to talk to me since and it’s been almost a week of me trying to reach her. Besides today….
Monday’s and Tuesday’s are usually my days with Mother Nature, hiking, trying to get my strengths back to join a regular life again, including a job which I soon have to seriously consider. I didn’t go out on Monday for various reasons, and for not being well, physically and mentally. I could have called her, but I couldn’t bring myself to sit here, and to keep hitting redial, being sad and disappointed on top of things, knowing that her stubbornness very well prevent her from answering. I couldn’t put myself through it, although I know that if it wasn’t for me who always comes around, we probably had many occasions already to never talk again. And second, if she would have answered, I wasn’t in a position to cheerlead and cheer her up today. Nothing would have been achieved. So here we are, with me, continued at her mercy, and hopefully one day she feels like talking again. I know she has her reasons and fears, her dislikes and grudges, but I can’t bring her home and leave her to die. It almost happened a few times already. I wish she could acknowledge this, instead of punishing me with the silent treatment to inflict more guilt. There is no extra help needed and I am well there already.
The other serenity prayer
God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I’m working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that you already love me just the way I am.
Lolek & Bolek
Front view of my little mourning dove chicks (Lolek & Bolek), now nearly one week old and growing fast. They are fed and watched over by both parents that take shifts, sitting in the nest to keep the little ones warm and fed. It’s a wonderful privilege to watch them so close. Does it sound weird to say that I miss them already, because soon they will leave their nest. 💙
Finding the light
I walk with the ancients.
I am light and darkness.
Nature is my church.
