I’m here to confess my guilt about something, and to be honest it’s been on my mind for quiet some time. A few weeks ago my friend Colin nominated me for the “Mystery Blogger” award which honored and humbled me at the same time. His kind words left me in awe and he is a wonderful person who just recently became a Daddy to the cutest little baby girl. Congratulations. Make sure you visit his blog and show him some love. It’s still hard to believe that my own little blog finds new readers most every day and has grown to over 400 followers. People that are like minded and find something they can relate to in the writing. Or perhaps people who go by the motto “A like for a like”. I did hear that some people will follow another blog simply to extend their courtesy and to be respectful of another writers work, even if they never again will read another post. It’s the kind of camaraderie I have only found amongst motorcycle riders and hikers. A shared passion and respect for following that dream and doing what you love.
400+ followers and while I believe in quality over quantity, I am very blessed for everybody that I have met on here. Whatever the reason might have been, why and how this blog has grown, there has been an interest to stop by, to read, comment and find something relatable. It means a lot and solidifies the mission that I have set out in sharing my personal journey.
But that has nothing to do with my guild and my confession. Im staling and have to reiterate that I felt very special to be nominated. A blogger award usually consists of a closer and more in depth look of the writer. It’s a great time to hear and get to know your nominee on a personal level as it encompasses their views and opinions. My confession is that I have not answered the call yet, even though I have promised and committed to do so, I have not written my response post yet. Shame, shame, shame…..on me.
It is my second award, but this nomination is much more complex and detailed than the first one was. In my defense there are several reasons I have not fulfilled my obligation (which I still will).
– My analytical mind can’t rush trough a project like this as it would only result in “Haste makes waste”
– The perfectionist in me needs the time (which I had little lately) in order to attempt getting it right. It’s important to me as I don’t want to leave things to misunderstanding.
– And a couple times when the first two points fell in place, I simply didn’t feel the project and didn’t want to force it. It makes me reflect back to my paintings and art projects, there are usually a few to be found around. It’s the same here and your inspiration as well as your creativity can’t be forced. It has to flow, it has to be felt and you have to allow it to unfold.
Another good friend David once said that you have to “Do what grabs you” and well that’s just it.
It’s simple and I guess the morale of the story is that this could be applied to anything in life. No matter what it is you try your luck on, I believe you will always do a better job and be more successful if you can pour all of your passion into your project. So here are my reasons that sound a bit like excuses but who are in a nutshell my god honest reasons for my procrastination.
I will get going soon, put my thoughts in order to prepare my response so I pick my own nominations and give somebody else a chance for their voice to be heard.
In the meantime here is another winter fairytale picture. Father winter is losing his stronghold and this wonderland will soon be gone. The forecast calls for a day in the 60’s next week, but for now here is a picture of beautiful, pure, innocent and white. ❤️
Love this post from my new trail friend “Stubbs” and it speaks volumes to my heart. Please go check out her blog and her amazing adventures while enjoying some beautiful writing. You will find messages full of passion, written from the heart, which will always make for the most talented of writers.
Have you heard people say that Christmas time is a magical time? Well the holidays have come and gone with nothing more than a distant memory. Until the other day….Just before discovering the wild mustangs that roam freely in the highlands above Reno, I was treated to a little magical holiday reminder. Driving up the windy road en route to Virginia City, a historical old fashioned western town that deserves an entire post of its own, the trip is just a short distance from Reno and is a scenic marvel. A few well placed pull outs offer great views of Mount Rose, the Sierra and the town lying at its feet. Covered in snow, I think it looks even more majestic and grand as usual and there is just something about this pure white blanket covering the landscape. Truly magical, but not necessary Christmas related.
What added to the Christmas magic and the memory were two decorated trees standing at the side of the road. Somebody had stopped and started decorating the trees with their own unique ornament. A start to something that others felt inspired to follow while discovering these magical trees. More and more people added their decorations to the trees, bringing a little Christmas cheer and magic to everybody who would pass by. Perhaps brightening the season of some less fortunate people who were unable to have their own tree.
As a passionate photographer, I had to stop as I’m always inspired and on the look out for any photo-op that strikes my eye. Camera at hand most of the time, many would agree that it is our way to share our vision through capturing magic all over our viewfinders. I caught a mirrored reflection of myself in one of the shiny ornaments. I didn’t see it while taking the picture and little did I know that it would later become a reflection that commanded me to share a little magic of my own.
The two trees are still standing tall one month after the holidays. Who knows, maybe a few ornaments flew off in the eye of the recent storms, and if so, they must have flown away to find a new home as I saw nothing littering the grounds underneath. Today I’m reminded that every day can be magical and that we don’t need a schedule or season to dictate the arrival of magic. It’s all about our frame of mind and what we believe in. It’s up to us to bring a little magic to our lives and the lives of others. It’s really simple and it could start with a smile. I know I’m a big dreamer and maybe some things are not always realistic in what most would call the “Real world”. Perhaps I have constructed my own world and I have to say that I like it there. Blissful ignorance to a point, it is a safe haven. It’s a place that allows me to pause and see magic in the most challenging of times while it reminds me that all of us play a huge part in the creation of magic.
My very talented friend Kamelini who inspires me in a huge way left a comment for me this morning wanting to see more pictures from my winter wonderland. To inspire her and become even more eager to make it out to my side of country so she can witness the beauty with her own eyes. Well, if this is what it takes, I have plenty of pictures to post and would like to dedicate this post to her. She is a very magical soul herself, living in a world that is pure while reaching people through her writings all over the world. She is a magnificent storyteller that whisks us away into the land of magic and make believe and allows us to dream. This and so much more makes her one of the most beautiful people in my book. I hope you check her out and stop by her blog. And while I don’t have to know her in person, it’s our souls that are connected and I do hope to meet her some day to share the magic of that moment. Xoxoxoxo.
I hope that everybody will find a little time to reflect on the magic in your life and have a wonderful weekend. I would love to read about your time and what it was you found a little bit of magic in.
The last and final step in the series of spiritual awakening is described as reintegrating with our soul. It’s the step I believe that I currently reside in, even though I know that I have gone back and forth between all of the stages. They are triggered by various events in my life, waiting to be relived with new lessons that need to be learned. These stages appear in no particular order or sequence and even though I have experienced them prior, it allows for easier recognition, almost giving me the sense to know what’s next.
Stage 7 is believed to be the beginning of where we manifest a life that is in true alignment with our highest self. Sound familiar….isn’t or shouldn’t that be a goal from the get go? You would think so, but from my experience I found that there is no easy way to know what that means to be in alignment with our highest self. We search all of our life as we try to find our purpose and what it is that we are suppose to do here on earth. Some might even get lost and unless we are granted the experience of some of these stages or at least had “A catalyst” that shook us awake, we will never know and continue to pass the signs blindly.
Some sample events of this stage include a loss of previous fears, interest and desires. For me, I think this pertains mainly to my job and the lack of my desire to proof myself. Not to be confused with that I don’t want to do a great job, but careers wise it’s a little like been there, done that and my priorities have changed. For the first time in my life I have learned to be a little selfish and listen to my own dreams vs. the ones somebody else has for me. My sense of success has changed and no longer revolves around running my own store or being the best manager there is. I’m confident and I know what I’m capable off, but I will no longer work myself to death and ignore the signs of my health or my own desires of how I wish to contribute. The playing field has simply become too small and while my wish to help others will always remain, it can no longer be restricted to the confines of the four walls. I know that as long as I’m employed by somebody other than me, I will always do the best job to my ability. That’s just me, but today I realize that I have my own stars to chase, that the legacy of I am is still being written as I am manifesting the purpose of being aligned with my highest being.
Another event was letting go of the need to control and worry. The control part was easy as I was never much of a control freak. I realized early on that we humans don’t always agree with each other and that it is ok to have different opinions. Instead of viewing this as a downfall, becoming enemies with those who don’t share our vision, I viewed our diversity as a strength and the motto to “Live and let live”.
The worrying part had and still does has it’s “Up’s and down’s” and I’m no stranger to it. After all my life is based on it and just like all other human beings, worry did catch up with me from time to time. I either lived the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, no in between, with the difference that I seldom showed it or complained about it. Still it happened to me too and I was not exempt from carrying my own little suitcase, the baggage we all carry in varying degrees. Sometimes silent, sometimes knocking us off of our feet, reminding us that nobody but us can deal with it to make it right.
It was during one of those times, a frustrating or weak moment that my girlfriend encouraged me to vent and let go of it. She said it was ok, almost thanking me that I lost my composure, even in the slightest, and by doing so it would allow her to see me as human. I thought about this statement for a long time. Perhaps the analytical mind kicked in and was wondering what had happened. It was nothing remains nothing, but at that moment it made me pause and consider what kind of signals I was sending out. Had I become so good at hiding it all, dealing with my issues on my own, closing others out, only to be viewed as some sort of superhero, immune and incapable to feelings. I don’t think it was any any of those things and I was merely at peace with whatever was happening. Not that I liked it more than the next person or that I would be thrilled about it. I was mostly private about it while I always knew that I could reach out if I needed to. I accepted my faith, whatever came my way and even the bad was the bearer of a lesson that had to be learned, an experience that had to be made, no matter how painful it was. I was living in the “Now” more so than ever and only the current moment was what mattered. It would be all I had, all I could influence at the time while learning to let go of interference / control.
Another behavioral sign was laughing with childlike abandon, creating and playing carefree. In other words having fun and not taking things all that serious. It is now that my artistic side, the need to create and to write, to travel and to chase experiences is at an all time highest peak. Everything else, not contributing to these goals is noise that is stalling me from reaching and achieving my true potential.
Also thinking about life outside the 3 D earth, in a more spiritual way was said to be experienced.
The symptoms felt during this stage are peacefulness and inner stillness. It is said that you will notice a detachment from drama and the ego who loves to control your life. You are no longer so tightly wrapped up in it and you observe your surroundings in a different light. You heard the phrase “Don’t sweat the small stuff” before and might even find it to be your best friend as you repeat it over and over. Not only for yourself, but also to others you no longer relate to and who are getting upset at things that don’t make sense. Like an outer body experience, like a movie reel of somebody else’s life passing in front of your eyes, you recognize the things that used to upset you. Except now, they are no longer important and you dismiss them with a mere shoulder shrug. “The wiser one gives in”, another phrase and you no longer desire to prove you’re right. There is no sense in arguing your point, although you will always stand up for what you believe in. And with it and while doing so, you shed the burden of responsibility and obligation that has weight you down for so many years.
You will feel a certain amount of liberation and when this sounds familiar, it is then that you have achieved a dangerous amount of freedom. It is then that you will begin to prioritize what truly matters in your life, whether you find yourself amazed that less is more and the material things you have worked so hard for don’t matter that much anymore, it is then that you will feel that they don’t buy happiness as you adjust your course. Whether you finally choose to make yourself a priority, to walk through life with eyes wide open, to see the signs but also act upon them. Or whether you decide to be relentless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire, regardless of how big the leap appears and how scary and uncertain the future might be. It is all of the above and more when you find yourself at the doorstep of manifesting the life that is in sync with the deepest desires and the highest self of your soul. Who said that it was ever easy, but I will say that it will be so much more than worthwhile.
I was off the last two days and the weather has been amping up, while preparing for the next round of snow to hit. Like all days off or vacations for that matter, time flew by and those days came and went in the blink of an eye. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that days off go by way too fast. Tuesday was filled with an early appointment visiting the “Tooth-Fairy” and I know I have been writing a lot of my visits and appointments there. You could think my teeth are in terrible shape, but in reality they are not. I’m catching up from years of avoiding the dentist, while taking advantage of my insurance benefits. I’ve always had insurance and have been paying for years with no benefit to me, similar to flushing money down the toilet. Might as well make use of it and overcome the fear and anxiety I used to have about the dentist. Needless to say I decided to get a few things done and take my health matters into my own hands. I recently learned that old fillings expand, contract and crack, allowing harmful toxins to enter your body. Maybe and just somehow I believe that there could be a connection to this autoimmune disease that I’m battling. I really haven’t done much research about it, but still it feels as if my intuition is guiding me to consider this possibility. It’s strange in a way but I learned to trust that gut feeling, to pay attention and listen to those signs. Connection or not, for sure it can’t be good and it was one of the main reasons I decided to have the old fillings replaced. I believe that this is only one example, one knowing fact about the toxins we consume on a daily basis. How much more is out there without us even knowing, it’s scary once you start to do some research. I got to do my part, I owe to myself and to my smile.
Wednesday was rainy and a very wet day. The much anticipated adventure I was seeking, finding time to spend outdoors was washed away with the heavy rainfall. The skies were gray and bland looking offering no photo opportunity at all. My mood kind of matched the dull scenery around me as I felt anxiety creeping up. Another thing added to my plate I was trying to figure out a “Check engine” light in the jeep indicating a transmission code. My first thought must have been something like “Great, now what” and I wonder when my optimistic self has started to assume the worst in every scenario. After dropping off the car at a transmission shop, it wasn’t the transmission, luckily, but it could be electrical (which takes time to pinpoint and time costs a lot of money, especially at a jeep dealership), or it could be the computer that has gone bad all together. Not a cheap incident either, but so it goes, right, and further diagnostics is needed to pinpoint the problem.
The storm was suppose to come in today, my first day back at work after my days off. Like always I watched the forecast like a hawk, but lately it seems like the forecast is not very steady or accurate. I live thirty minutes from town, located at a higher elevation that often turns to snow when it merely rains in town. I woke up this morning and the world was eerie silent outside. Without looking outside the window, I knew right away that it was snowing. Have you ever noticed how silent it gets when the snow is falling? Peaceful. The dusting I was expected to see from the forecast last night had turned into 4-5 inches of snow and everything was covered in a thick, wet, heavy snow blanket this morning. With chain restrictions on the freeway and a snow forecast to last through the noon hours, I called work and took a snow day. I can’t help but find myself in a child like bliss about the snow day, enjoying this winter wonderland in the meantime. I don’t remember the last snow day or missing work because of it. I am usually not one to call in, but today I’m grateful of not having to battle the roads in unsafe conditions. While it is still snowing outside, the sun has found a way to peak through the clouds. In my childlike state of mind, I feel good to enjoy the beauty while not having to battle sickness.
I feel like building a snowman. ☃.
With the roads clearing up later and sunshine in the forecast, I will venture out to town and hope to snap a few pictures along the way. We are forecasted to have 3-6 more inches between tonight and tomorrow and I hate to see how this might end up since last nights dusting produced 5 inches. Hahahaha.
In the meantime, here is a shot from my front door during a break in the snow. Have a beautiful day everybody.
As I still marvel in having survived the holiday rush of retail once more, I have been stuck on rewarding myself with sleeping in. This is usually around 8AM of natural waking time, without the alarm clock springing into action and interrupting my beauty sleep. I have always been a little bit of a night owl which prevents me from going to bed all that early and so it’s only natural that I don’t get up all that early either. Or at least so it is my logic in the matter.
I had the closing shift yesterday and in other words I could sleep in. Yet I woke up early (don’t you hate that when that happens?). It was still nighttime outside as the orange glow from my Himalayan salt lamp was illuminating the room in soft light. I felt rested and for a moment I even considered getting up…..I said “considered” ha, because fat chance, was it actually going to happen. The temperature of the bed was perfect, once again, and instead I turned around with my mind made up to stay a little longer. Needless to say the “little longer” turned into a two hour period. I had planned to post something before work, but my time was cut short as I finally managed to crawl out of bed, stretching and greeting another “gloomey-doomey” day.
The clouds were still hanging low and everything looked gray and cold outside. Frozen in time, the backyard was covered with snow and I could see thousands of partridge footprints all over. Regular visitors, I have never seen these birds so round and huge as I have seen them this year. Something must be really tasty out there and they were eating well, very well to say the least. I got dressed and went downstairs, grabbed a spoonful of coconut oil, followed my oil pulling ritual while preparing myself a cup of coffee in the meantime. Shortly afterwards I was ready, sat down and began to write.
I wrote about the recent storms, the flooding and the upcoming forecast that would call for at least 6 more days of snow. I included the unusual strong winter, ending our drought situation with a 200+ foot of snow cover up in the mountains. Perhaps more flooding will occur with the new storms on the way, more evacuations separating people from their material possessions while washing away their lives savings. Freezing roads and unsafe driving conditions also seemed to be on my mind that morning as I touched on highways filled with inexperienced drivers going way too fast on the slippery roadways, not only putting themselves in danger but also everybody else. I wrote about seeing the “Tooth-Fairy” this morning again and the hopes of finding some adventure in my next two days of freedom, while being off of work.
2017 had been busy so far. I was still in the recovery phase from 2016 and I was yet waiting for that break that would slow everything down for me. In all actuality I have been slowed down this year, but in the wrong sense and mostly I was feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired. Lyrics courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne.
As always when I finish writing, I reread the labor of my thoughts and feelings poured into my words. This morning was no different but as I was reading, the words felt as “gloomey-doomey” as the weather outside. All perfectly making sense of the obvious, statements of facts and predictions, but words that fell flat as if on a downward spiral, lacking every little ounce of oomph. It felt as if my motivation had surrendered and my feelings were covered in that low hanging gray shroud that was choking the life right out of me. I was surprised as I hadn’t realized anything to be different until that moment, but I ran out of time to redo what I had written and therefore decided not to post. I got up to get ready for work and then it happened, a long lost friend made an appearance. The sun came out, light flooded the room and everything miraculously changed. It was a breath of fresh air as if my soul finally exhaled and the heavy dark burden began to lift. I realized that my personality had taken on the “gloomey-doomey” storm days, as they had managed to rub off on me somehow, while stealing my spunk.
And if I entertain this thought any further, I know that all I really need to do is to get out and clear my mind. I have been cooped up and left with my thoughts for far too long. There has been no time to play, no life balance to keep me sane, no tranquility to recharge my batteries. I have been missing the comfort of Mother Nature as she always provides me with the balance to an hectic life.
Although breathtaking to gaze upon the snow covered mountains, a winter wonderland pure and clean, I’m ready for a good hike and to soak up the sun. To drown out the noise and allow my heart to find the peace and quiet that only solitude can bring. A little sunshine can make a big difference and all I needed after all was that “Ray of light”.
With too much work and too little time to play on this gloomy, cloudy Sunday, I miss home and my heart is even closer to Germany as it normally is.
Pouring my heart into a post will have to be postponed as I’m heading to work but I leave you with a picture from a road trip driving through the alps. It’s a perfect combination for the dreamer that lives within my heart, the hopeless romantic that believes in fairytales and castles, as well as the artist and lover of mountains that sees beauty in everything.
Have a great day everybody and don’t forget to enjoy the beauty that is all around you….