Bless her heart

Dad’s sister and Mom

I usually bring the iPad with me when visiting Mom. I usually play music for her, show her funny videos of pictures of animals she enjoys. Anything that makes her smile and laugh is game here. Playing her favorite music group, she already warned me to not erase those songs from the iPad. Hahaha. Ok Mom, I should forever keep them safely in there.

The other day after showing her another set of raccoon pictures, she all of a sudden looked at me real serious and asked me if “that gadget” (the iPad) had new stuff in there every day? 😳😂

Bless her heart.

Make a wish

This was my end result for crafting night with my nieces. I found the piece of wood walking home from Mom and thought it would make a great background for a painted scene.

I came across the dandelion Idee earlier in the year as I collected little fly away seeds and placed them in a skinny tall bottle for someone special. Kinda of like blowing the seeds while making a wish, memorialized in a magic bottle. I named it “A thousand wishes”.

This piece of wood became another piece in the collection, this time for Mom.

A thousand wishes I sure have for her.

A thousand times I’ll hold her hand, and tell her that everything will be ok.

A thousand times I’ll tell her how much I love her.

And a thousand times I’d wipe those eyes from sadness.

❤️🦋

In a nutshell

I thought it was time to update the “About”page on my blog, and the old one was nearly three years old. Many new faces have come aboard since then, and I hope this gives a better perspective of who I am, and why I write. Welcome to my blog and thank you for your loyalty if you have been here already. Xoxo 💙🦋

Who am I….in a nutshell and why I’m writing.

I’m a dreamer in a world that has become too busy. I’m a big child that laughs until my belly hurts when life wants to be serious. I’ve come full circle and had it all, and yet I had nothing. Today I choose to be a collector of moments instead of stuff. Less is more, quality over quantity. I am a free spirit that believes in an unconventional lifestyle. I find myself going against the grain most of the times, not to rebel, but to stay true to my unique and authentic self. It takes courage, and you often stand alone, but it is the only way to not lose yourself.

I come from a world that didn’t always give me the opportunity to be heard. Few related and even fewer cared to take the time. In the end it is that we all have a story to tell, that we all seek to be understood, and we all yearn to be heard and accepted. We try hard to fit in, some to the point of acting out of character, playing by the rules of what we think society expects of us. Until we wake one day, feeling empty and lost, while our life is passing us by.

It’s never too late and it was my toughest moments, who turned out to be my greatest teachers. The signs are always there, if we are ready and can slow down enough to see them.

They say the stars can’t shine without darkness, and it was darkness who has shown me the light.

It took a series of (un)fortunate events, to learn to glow through the pain and to learn how to dance in the rain. I had plenty of challenges, but I learned to believe in the silver lining. As an empath this old soul often feels a little too much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every emotion, good and bad is part of being alive.

Today I am here to tell my story, in the hopes that it brings inspiration and strengths to others, to face another day. I know you are out there and I know you are suffering in silence. You are not alone and your voice is being heard.

In light and love….Rhapsody Bohème

Hearts everywhere

Mom said that only I could see a heart in a cow patty. I doubt that and I’m sure I’m not the only one who has seen a little piece of smelly love. 😉 that’s what I decided to call this one. Or perhaps it stands for not taking any crap.

Then last night the perfect little heart stain surfaced on my kitchen towel. I have no clue how it got there and what caused the stain and it’s shape.

Before it was a heart shaped leaf and the fact that many hearts are popping up lately has got my attention. Something is trying to tell me something, so I dig’ed a little deeper. Just like anything, the interpretation is up to the finder and what we want to believe. And do you we ever want to believe, don’t we?

“Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose magic and miracles.” ~Roy T. Bennett. (Oh I do believe in that)

Common heart meanings include

Love

Unity

Sacred

Cohesion

Sensuality

Femininity

Attraction

Mirroring/Reflection

Magicians and alchemists used heart symbols for incantations pertaining to matters related to love and romance. The symbol was also used in the rituals with the goal to strengthen the relationships.

It can also stand for

Dreams

Emotions

Healing

Intuition

Transition

Physic perception

I believe that the first set of interpretations reflect the most basic views of what we think about when hearts cross our path. The later, second interpretation seems to be more fitting for my current state. I think the past weeks have been highly emotional. A dream or two has resurfaced, and holy cow patty, I have started to write my book. There has been much healing on my scene lately with the pain I am still experiencing to some extent. My intuition has never been stronger as I find myself in a transition that ties back to my dreams. A physic event has rounded out the experiencing, and has left me feeling good about what’s next.

A heart, symbol of love is here to tell me that if you have love in your life to consider yourself blessed. For you are richer than some and to hold on to it with all your might.

“One love, one heart, one destiny.” ~Bob Marley

Much, much better

I know that this post will make some genuine caring people feel a whole lot better, simply for the fact that I am doing much, much better, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your concern and love.

I finally had a mostly decent day. I still got up several times last night just to move around, and the shoulder situation was still a little sore, but the day was mostly pain free. We will see what tonight brings.

My neck is not as tight anymore, and the warming pillow and muscle relaxers have helped improve that situation. I also cooked with fresh ginger yesterday, and cut a huge chunk into my meal. I wonder if that had something to do with it as well, since it’s said to help with inflammation. I may never know, but will continue doing so going forward. If that was the contributing force, then the difference has been a huge game changer. Perhaps it is from changing my diet to reduce the foods that have caused damage and pain in the past. Maybe the stars aligned, and the barometric pressure has settled down. Who knows, all I’m saying is that today felt like a gift.

My hands and fingers work effortlessly and I’m rid of the stiffness. For now. I even started to knit another pair of socks for Mom. I’m kind of scared to celebrate too much, but on the other hand I feel that it needs to be recognized and acknowledged. Isn’t it weird how we get conditioned to hold our breath, or not to say things too loud because we might jinx ourselves? Today, I will ignore this old wife’s tail and enjoy my moments. As well as share them with you….loudly. I will not whisper and I’ve been in so much pain that it becomes a huge deal when I receive a break. Who could ever hold their breath and not shout it from the highest mountain top?

Today, the thought crossed my mind that I’d probably be better off toting a little carry on piece of luggage with me when visiting Mom. 😉 Gee, the bag of goodies I bring along, is growing bigger and bigger all the time. There is a huge bootle of water, food for me and treats for Mom, especially on Saturdays when she only gets a basic little meal like soup and it leaves her yearning for more. I carry the sure favorites that bridge the gap, and bring a giant smile to her face. There are magazines, shopping bags, more treats…the sweet ones this time, knitting supplies, crafts, catalogs and other misc. stuff that adds up to a ton to carry. It dawned on me that perhaps my shoulders hurts from the heavy weight, kind of as if I’m pulling my arms out of its shoulder socket. That is how the pain feels when it gets bad. I would lie not to realize that the chronic pain is most likely relocating to surface in another spot. But not today, and today was a beautiful day. I’m not out of the woods, but today was long overdue. Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. Your wishes and kindness throughout my struggles. Thank you for being YOU. You make everything better for me and I am blessed to have you in my life.

Bavarian Stone-henge Sunset

This was the second time returning to this magical place and there is something special about it. I stayed for quite some time and enjoyed a beautiful sunset with the Karwendel mountains in the background.

I’m pretty sure it has already become a staple and a place I will return each time I come to visit.

Canto Nova

The preludes to this post can be found here and here.

Eventually Kyle returned to let me know what he had come up with as far as a trail-name was concerned. It had proven to be a challenge for obvious reasons mentioned before, trying to name someone you haven’t even met yet. My blog name played a role, as well as other bits and pieces that allowed glimpses of who I was as a person. The amount of time, thoroughness, awareness and attention to detail, blew me away and I was in awe. And still, I don’t think neither one of us could have known how much this name would grow, and what meaning it would take on. A meaning away from the trail as most of these transitions happened in my personal, day to day life. It simply evolved and became more and more fitting as time went on. It was always awesome, from the very beginning, but if I look back to the creation until the current times…by God, it’s quite a ride, and Kyle must have sensed something I didn’t even know the extent of back then.

Kyle chose two words.

Canto: A Italien word that stands for a section, a division of a large poem. Derived from canere which means to sing it can also stand for a song. (Rhapsody Boheme – Bohemian Rhapsody)

The second word was Novus: Which stands for new and bright.

I changed Novus into Nova which is the female version of Novus that can also mean bright star. In astronomy it’s a star that shows a sudden increase in brightness and slowly returns to its original state over a few month. The Native American meaning is “Chases Butterfly”.

Both words were a fit and Canto Nova was born. I felt much like embarking on a few new chapters (sections, division) of my poem (my life). I was in the process of writing a few new ones. A bright new future perhaps, as it required to go through pain and change. Metamorphosis to change from a caterpillar (what was my current condition) into a butterfly (which was my aspiring state). I had goals and dreams, I was “chasing my butterfly” to change my stars. But how would I explain this in a brief reply if someone asked me what my trail-name meant!

Today, in brief I would tell you that metaphorically my trail name means “Chapters of a new Dawn”. We constantly write our own history. The chapters and divisions we add to our life’s poem are up to us and nobody ever said that it was easy. Just looking at the caterpillars violent struggle, we see that beautiful things can come from adversity and pain. That is if we can see the beauty and the lesson that comes with such experiences, vs letting them define us into bitterness. The choice is always ours, so think about what you want to add to your poem. Will it be dark poetry or will you sing and chase your own butterfly?

Don’t forget to look and support Kyle Rohrig on Amazon. Three books are available for your reading pleasure, and make also a great gift for any nature fanatic and anymore daring to dream big.

Lost on the Appalachian Trail

Hear the Challenge

Racing Winter on the Pacific Crest Trail

Thank you kindly. Enjoy!

All a glow

Close up from the Fairy Garden. Enjoy ❤️

The quest for a Trail-Name

The prelude to this post can be found here

There is a special lingo amongst hikers and it is tradition that every thru hiker is given a trail-name. It’s a name that is made up of the tendencies, behaviors and character traits for each said individual. At other times it is simply appearance that can do you in, and the process can get quite creative. It’s not always an easy feat when it comes to the choosing, or the introduction of your trail-name, and how you got it.

My friend Kyle’s trail-name for instance is “Mayor” or “The Mayor” because of the care for his friends and people. Setting up campfires on trail, soon to be joined by other hikers, he provides and takes care of his people after a long day on the trail, hopefully much like any mayor would do. In his private life, he inspires and motivates people to just “Go for it”, and to pursue anything that sets their soul on fire. He demonstrates a great example for any aspiring dreamer who is looking to change their stars, by giving them the know how that it can be done, if only they find the courage to take the leap. Making a difference has become a full time job these days. So it is no wonder that his name fits like a glove, with Kyle bestowing great honor onto it, on and off the trail.

Katana, his loyal Shiba Inu trail-mate’s has a hiking name as well. The famous Catfox she is, named after her Fox like appearance. It’s funny to think that some people actually believed that she is a real fox. There is a story or two about it in his book “Lost on the Appalachian Trail” where it was believed that the little Catfox was actually a Russian fox. Good times for sure, and one of my favorite parts and laugh out loud moment.

The time was shortly after Kyle had finished the Appalachian Trail, that he faced a tough time readjusting to conventional life and civilization. It was easy to miss the adventures of the trail, the scenic beauty, the camaraderie and the simplicity of life. Less was more and the trail had always provided, while being the perfect teacher putting into perspective how little we truly need to be happy.

I was motivated more then ever to somehow find a way to hit the trail and to make my own memories, but there were still quite a few logistics to be worked out such as financing it and the question about my health. In my dreams I was chasing a feeling, a lifestyle of slowing down and truly living. I knew too well about the feelings of grounding with Mother Nature, to hear her heartbeat and to sigh in amazement of all wonders big and small. One day like so many others, I was wondering what my trail-name might be. Who would name me, how would and could they name me, based on what. What if I never made it due to my health to hit the trail in a long distance thru hike, and why was it so important for me to have a trail- name, I pondered. The thought of how it would come to pass was quite entertaining, and then the lightbulb moment came. The crazy idea to ask for Kyle’s input was born. I valued his perception and perhaps thinking of a name for me could distract him from the real life blues. It was almost like an impossible request, since we had never met in person, and still I asked him. It was a inquiry for a trail-name prior to even attempting a thru hike, was a bit like jumping the gun, but it held great significance for me. All there was, were snippets on Facebook, Instagram and the blog that entailed glimpses of my life. What a way to get to know someone. Still he agreed, being the person he is, a person unable to say no to a fellow dreamer.

Weeks went by and Kyle was very thorough. He analyzed from the little he knew and was dedicated to find something that would be fitting. We lost touch during those weeks, but I was hoping that my crazy task/request somehow managed to distract him from the reality check of life. My hope was that it would free his mind, ease what he was dealing with, and put him back in touch with what he loved. The trail…

Please don’t forget to support him on Amazon, Facebook or at Boundlessroamad.com. Kyle has written three books so far and each one is simply astonishing.

Thank you very much and stay tuned for the reveal of a very special trail-name. My very own…♥️

You go, Mom ❤️

I was emotional leaving Mom on Sunday, but I was fine throughout the day. That would somehow change that evening, I just didn’t know it yet. It started after eating a slice of cheese which unsettled things a bit. At least it was right around that time that I noticed it first. I started to feel weak, and soon yawning followed which is a sure sign for me that something is not right or that I’m getting sick. I feel like I don’t get enough oxygen, and so I have to yawn and yawn to get air into my lungs. Sometimes it feels as if I’m forgetting to breathe all together and what is something I should be doing automatically without even thinking about it, becomes obvious when all of a sudden I gasp for air. Mmmh I forgot to breathe again, that kind of thing. I’ve been to the bathroom more times then I care for….oops too much info, and just felt tired. I ended up throwing up a little of that sour stomach acid Sunday night, (too much info again), and decided that it would be a good idea to skip the pain med and muscle relaxer. Perhaps I would only puke it up anyways, what a waste. Big mistake a bad choice, and a waste in the sense of quality rest. Let’s just say that it was a long, painful, restless night and I hardly slept. I got up this morning, sitting in the dark, waiting for the first light to break. Any thoughts of visiting Mom instead of taking a rest day vanished and my body knew best what I needed. It wasn’t much of anything. Coffee, tea, a light meal, a nap. As always there were things to do that almost made me feel guilty for letting them fall to the wayside, but I couldn’t tend to them if I wanted to. I think the brain fog is the worst and it could be a side effect from the meds, we shall see.

In the meantime, Mom is looking better and better and the healthiest she has looked since I’ve got here. I’m happy about it, and I’m grateful that we can share this time. Here she is with her first pair of socks that she recently knitted. It has been a long time, but you can see that she’s having a great time and I love it. Long may it last.