Introverted

Extrovert or Introvert, who are you?

I am an introvert, yes I am. You might perceive me as shy or quiet, but that is only half of it. Oh I do like my quiet no doubt, but I am held back because I just don’t know you yet.

I am not shy but I am a noticer. I am an empath and I will hear your unspoken words. I will find out quickly if you can accept me for who I am, because I can’t relax into myself and feel at ease until you meet me as one of the same tribe. For right now I don’t know if you will “get me” or just think of me of being out there.

I am a thinker and I’m an observer. It doesn’t mean that I’m stuck up or anti social. I just treasure my solitude and might have different needs then you.

If you can stimulate my mind and talk about things of substance, I will spend hours with you, but if you small talk me, I’ll be out of here in a heartbeat, because every minute is torture. For you and me.

I don’t believe in material abundance and one can be rich in many different ways. Less is more and sounds the sweet bell of freedom. The freedom from being tied down of obligations.

I prefer a few close friends, and don’t care to show thousands of Facebook friends, to not have one come forward and actually be there for me when I need a friend.

I am reserved, until I’m not. I appreciate true connection.

Look deep

“Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.”

~Albert Einstein

This seems fitting, especially now. Looking deep into nature teaches us to enjoy the seasons and make the most of the time we are given, because surely everything will come to an end. In the cycle of change, we go with the flow as Mother Nature takes control. As a result we witness times of darkness, rest, dormancy, even death until a new cycle starts and life around us stretches towards the warming rays to bloom once more.

The little Chapel

I’ve driven past it so many times and never stopped, until now. The little chapel up on the hill above the little town of Lehrberg. I found solitude and peace in it’s company, in a place to look over the landscape and take in the last breath of the day as nighttime swallows the day. Daylight savings time has begun here in Germany and the days are so short. Right now the darkness prevails and is winning over the lengths of light we are given each day. November is a month the sun seldom makes an appearance here in Germany, and I guess what I am trying to get is to find meaning in the bright side of life wherever we can to carry is through the darkness. Sitting with this little chapel on the hill brought such strengths and sunshine to my being. It could be anything, just listen to your soul and feel what feeds your purpose.

Surprise, surprise

I opened Moms coloring book the other day. I had sent it to her earlier in the year as she took a liking to coloring. I had looked at it as I bought it, but the pages where kind of insignificant at the time. I merely looked at them determining if Mom would enjoy coloring them. That was all.

I opened the coloring book and on the page was a dragonfly. Surprise, surprise. Mom spoke yet again and there have been so many instances lately with the appearing of these dragonflies that I’m left in a curious nature to see where the next one will appear.

I started to color that very page, but only for a little while as it is still too painful to do for me. Doing something so personal to her at the end of her life leaves me in tears for her loss and makes me miss her even more. I had to stop ad closed the book. And here again, the very page I had started to color, was also the cover page of the coloring book, with the dragonfly symbolizing the connection with Mom.

Surprise, surprise.

The Phoenix rises again

Mercury retrograde is in full effect and will be through November 20th. It’s a time that scares many, a time to chalk up things to this very event saying “no wonder.” But it doesn’t always have to be bad. Maybe it can be used to raise awareness, to bring your attention to it so you can make better choices for yourself. Maybe you haven’t felt happy and are looking for an opportunity. Maybe this is such a time.

• Confront your deepest and most private emotions
• Communications feels like it’s written in secret codes, don’t worry you have the cypher key.
• You’ll have a need to expose truths
• You may feel more paranoid and suspicious than normal
• You may feel jealousy even if it’s uncharacteristic for you
• It’s a chance to correct mistakes from the past
• Work on letting petty issues go
• You’ll be more physic than normal. Trust your gut!
• Spend extra time in meditation and grounding your energy
• It’s a great time for your comeback story! The Phoenix rises again!
• Makeover time! Self, home, life, or career. Reinvent yourself.

Letting go…

We just celebrated Samhain one of the highest celebrated Celtic Fests. It was also the night of Halloween and a German holiday on the 1st of November. For sure, this can’t be coincidence.

I had my own little celebration last night as the veil to the other world is the thinnest for three days, through November 2nd. I plan on doing paying my respect to the ancestors, hearing their message each of the three days.

More have already poured in. Messages during the time of Samhain as ancestors and deceased loved ones are closest to the physical earth. I can sense the communication as my intuition and awareness is keenly alert for all signs. Samhain translates simply to “he/she who is able to let go, has his/her hands free.” What could this mean to you? Not being bound anymore, not tied up with things, weighed down, free to do as you please?

This celebration is the perfect time to let go of the old, the things that no longer serve us and tend ourselves to new plans. This magical time is perfect to reflect back, and then summon the courage, a lot of courage, to move forward.

As the nights get longer and nature takes a pause, arrives a time to part ourselves from the things that weigh us down and hold us back.

Plus have I mentioned that mercury is retrograde until November 20th? It doesn’t have to be a bad thing and it’s a great time for your comeback story. The Phoenix rises again!

Facing yourself and the stuff that truly matters

Sacred dreams is a Facebook group I follow and where I find inspiration quite frequently. It’s a feeling of belonging, of having found your tribe members, a sense of knowing and understanding.

Take a look at Oriah Mountain Dreamer, “The invitation”

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayers or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remembering the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you an bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can love with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Ancestor Prayer

When you were born,

The earth became your body,

The stone became your bone,

The sea became your blood,

The sun became your eye,

The moon became your mind,

The wind became your breath.

When you passed to the Otherworld,

Your breath became the wind,

Your mind became the moon,

Your eye became the sun,

Your blood became the sea,

Your bone became the stone,

Your body became the earth.

When we were born, you did the same for us:

You called forth the earth and rocks;

The sea arose and the sun descended;

The moon shone down and the winds sang.

For those who come after, we shall do as you did for us,

When we are gone, we shall do as you did before.

Ancestors, we honor you.

Rescued by love

A beautiful and touching story found it’s way to my heart today. For a moment it is taking me away from my current matters and I find myself with my favorite four legged child “Nikki” as she was still alive. I don’t know who’s picture this is and who wrote the story, but may the rightful owner be credited in this post.

It is crazy how many people are alone in this world and have nothing but the company of their pets. Those are the lucky ones in my opinion, for the love of an animal is unconditional. They are always happy to see you and they always sense when you need just a little extra love. Animals fill a hole that humans failed to occupy. Animals are not bias and animals don’t judge. And yet it is US, calling THEM the animal.

I have written about how I rescued Nikki from abuse first owners, and over the years we formed a bond so strong, I really don’t know who saved who in the end. I related to this article today because I find myself in a position where I could use some saving from an animal. To find distraction and renewed purpose during these difficult times. It might be a little while yet but this is how I see it already.

“Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I washed my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side from my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.

I would promise to keep her safe.

I would promise to always be by her side.

I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she cane down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.” ❤️

Evolve or remain

Life is hard most of the time really. There is always a test, a challenge, something new to be learned. We constantly grow if we allow ourselves to be in the right mind frame and see those times as lessons for growth, not closing our hearts.

A message from Creig Crippen found it’s way to me, beckoning to be considered, reminding me that there is no gain without pain. It takes me back to my own beliefs of what I already know, and that we always have a choice in the matter, no matter how dark our world becomes. I wouldn’t say that my world is dark right now, but there are definitely daunting shadows that overcast the sunny bits.

In the end we are presented with a choice, a choice to evolve or remain. If we choose to remain unchanged, the same storms will present themselves, the same situations, until we learn from them, until we love ourselves enough to say “no more”, until we choose change.

If we choose to evolve, we will connect with the strength within us, we will explore what lies outside our comfort zone, and we will awaken to love. We will become and we will be. We already have everything we need.

We only have to choose to evolve, and choose love. ~