Posted in Dad, Family, Health, Inspiration

Surgery Day

Dad is having surgery today again and I wished I could accompany him just like I did when I was there. He still struggles with blood flow and circulation to his one remaining leg and therefore any wound healing is a slow if at all process. I hope he can be given further help in this matter and his condition improves. He received an artery stent the last time but it didn’t clear all the blockage. It shouldn’t be a big deal and most likely he doesn’t need to stay in the hospital, but I hope for better success than the last time and that he can out this hurdle behind him for now.

I am happy that we chat once a week and that we are both committed to be in each other’s life. That we make the time and that it is important. I know that if he could, he would book the next flight and come inspect and help with the land. He does get nervous when I tell him of all the Bear sightings and all the visitors to the land. So far there has been the bear, a doe with two fawns and a red fox. I think it’s amazing and I love it. In the meantime my thoughts, my love and my prayers are with Dad for a speedy recovery and much success.

Posted in Dad, Family, Holidays

Father’s Day in the US

It’s Father’s Day in the US and much gratitude goes out to all of you hard working, always being there, providing for your family, strong shoulder and rock kind of Dad’s. May you feel loved and appreciated this holiday and always.

Father’s Day was a few weeks already in Germany and I was lucky enough to be there and celebrate the day with my adoptive Dad. Today my thoughts wonder back to him as they do on most every day. Without a doubt do we both miss our outings exploring the town, or just chilling on the couch next to his in home hospital bed to watch a show like Jade Fever, Gold-rush in Alaska or any other kind of documentary series. It didn’t matter what it was but what it came down to was spending time together and today I am grateful that I have realized this during my stay and that I made the time for him to be a priority. How often do we get carried away by life and hindsight bares a hard lesson! I am grateful I did not have to learn such a truth and that I included him into my day whenever I could. I was too young to do this with my biological Dad, but losing him so young in life has taught to be more aware, to love with all my heart while carrying this extraordinary heart on my sleeves, vulnerable for the world to attack. It has taught me to not hold back on the feelings, to live from a heart-space instead of a head-space. To go with my gut and to trust my intuition. And more important to not deny it, but to follow it without questioning the reasons.

Today on Father’s Day, my wish is that you hug your Dad just a little tighter. That you make the time for him to be included in your life, in your day, in this very moment. Today, I hope you are proud to be such an amazing part of his legacy and I hope that you can show him exactly that. May your bond today and always be strong, not taking any moment for granted, never underestimating this moment, realizing that it will never come back. Have a wonderful holiday and thank you to all the Dad’s wherever you are. You are important and loved.

Posted in Animals, Family, Pets

Wasti

A friendly hello and greeting from the family pet in Rothenburg, a 48 year old turtle that roams the backyard of the house.

Talking about pets, of course I missed my Cinnamon girl and by now we are reunited once more and had many cuddles, hugs kisses, and petting times. She is a special girl for sure and my heart feels happy and sad at the same time. One always stays behind…

Posted in Europe, Family, Journey

City outings

“Dad” is pretty Mobil for a man 85 years young and with only one leg. He goes grocery shopping, does online banking, still does laundry or whatever else he can do, There isn’t much he can’t do or that I noticed. He will even climb the stairs up to the upper level or decant down into the cellar. At first I thought it was ridiculous, suicide like, but don’t underestimate a man on a mission or someone who has put their mind to accomplishing something.

Over the past few weeks we have started to venture into the city. With the improved, slightly too hot weather for me, many festivals have finally resumed after the long Covid break. I have learned many new things of this city we both love so much and he has been a wonderful tour guide. Even the pope lived in a house of the same neighborhood where he learned to speak German. . I will surely miss our outings, with him driving and me walking besides him.

Posted in Dad, Family, Holidays

Saying “thank you”

Today on Father’s Day here in Germany I give thanks to two special men. My birth father and his brother, my adoptive father. Both of theses men have played a vital role in my life and have left footprints all over my heart.

Today, as an adult I’m happy I got to spend the day with one of them and travel to the birthplace where my two fathers along with four more siblings were born. It sure was a trip down memory lane, especially for “dad” who hasn’t been here in many years. I’m still hungry for my family history, for the little tidbits and stories that are still remembered and talked about on occasion with a smile. I’m glad that I had the chance to learn a few of them.

Posted in Celebration, Dad, Family, Marriage, Mom

Two people fell in love

Many moons ago, two people found each other, fell in love and started a family. That’s how I came to be, the end result of love and passion. This is how our little family started and today I am the last carrying on traditions, our way of life, what was important and even what’s in a surname. I carry the family name within my heart. I will always remember my roots and where I cane from. I feel closer than ever to these two people that fell in love and gave life to me. As you celebrate in heaven your 61st wedding anniversary, I cheer you on with a great “happy anniversary” and live and miss you more than ever.

Posted in Dad, Family

I’m proud of (you)…me 😉

We had another doctors appointment with “Dad” last Monday and one today. He called it my first official family function since he has adopted me. It was a serious visit to address sores that are not healing on his one remaining leg. He claims that it started the same way on the other side and with added complication and an infected artificial knee joint, it sadly ended in amputation above the knee to safe his life. Of course it was our goal to avoid such from happening again. For the first time today we walked a serious road together, side by side, every step of the way since he wanted me to be in the examining room with him.

The visit went decent and much like expected or at least as hoped for. The scary thought of amputation were put to rest and are not on the forefront at this moment. The doctor seemed optimistic that there are other things that can be done to increase circulation and blood flow which therefore will aid the healing process. We have another procedure scheduled next Monday, with a check in prior that was this last Friday. Hopefully it will only be a 1-2 night hospital stay unless surgery is required which could then turn into 1-2 weeks of a hospital stay. We are hopeful and optimistic at this point.

At the end of the doctors visit, Dad made it a point to tell a story before leaving. I have heard him tell this story a few times already, and really he will tell it to whom ever gives him a moment of their time, but today it moved me in new ways, and perhaps it is so because I have returned to the living for while longer after being badly, ill. Maybe I truly heard it today for the first time, in the way he means it and the way it is intended to sound. The doctor already knew that I was his daughter as we entered the room as he introduced me as such, but now at the end of our visit he started to elaborate a little more. “You know I got to be a father once more at the age of 85” he said, leaving a puzzled look on the females doctors face. “Rhapsody here, I made her my daughter 14 days ago. She is the daughter of my deceased brother who tragically lost his life in a work accident in 1974. After the death of her Mom and my wife in 2019, I felt the deep wish to give Rhapsody a family again, a father that she never had and I’m proud to say that she is my daughter now” he exclaimed. As I watched him tell the story, and his eyes light up, I felt with all my heart how much this has meant to him. How proud he is to call me his daughter and it’s something I have seldom felt in this lifetime. It is something I always yearned for. I strived for it with Mom and I know that although she couldn’t verbalize it, I know now that she was indeed proud of me. Yet hearing it and seeing it in action, effortlessly, without even trying was something to behold of. And for the first I saw how touching this story is not only to him and me, but how touching it can also be to those who might hear it. The doctor was in awe and her heart was truly touched. She repeatedly placed her hand over her own heart exclaiming what a wonderful story it was, wishing us several times all the best. Time stood still for a moment amongst a hectic business life to acknowledge a action, a moment, a good deed, something that inspires and restores humanity. Today at least one person was very proud of me and he wasn’t afraid to shout it from the rooftops. It was a seldom felt, a new feeling that was making itself at home in my chest and it felt good. It’s a moment that will always stay with me. Here is to you Dad, we accomplished something truly unique and amazing. Something few can really grasp and understand but…We did it!

Posted in Death, Family, Journey

Processing all there is…

It was an important day today, and I’m processing all there is and all that has been so far. I think I am still a little numb and perhaps reality hasn’t set in yet, or at least not to the full effect. I will write about it soon I’m sure.

Two weeks ago I got to visit family I haven’t seen since I was a child. After a doctors appointment with “Dad” we stopped to extend a belated birthday visit to whom used to be my biological Dads godfather. He had turned 90 years young and appeared very feisty. Today I also learned that he passed this morning and although we gave only met a few times over an entire lifetime, it is definitely sad news.

I think Mom sent me a sign today and she definitely was with me in regards to signing house over.

Posted in Adoption, Family, Health, Life

Another Mile-Stone

It was a good day and another milestone entered our life’s and brought the much needed relief. My late Dad is battling Cancer, had a leg amputated in 2020, and has a few other concerns currently that need to be looked at and addressed ASAP.

We had a follow up visit for his liver cancer the other day and during the prior one it was noted that no further treatment was needed due to the cancer did not advance. That was good news then and here were hoping to hear something similar this time. And truly our wish came true and not only had the cancer not advanced, it was also noted that it was going into remission. You can imagine what relief it was to be given the news.

During my time here so far, I have gotten even closer to my uncle, now my Dad. I have to admit that I miss him when I stay here in the house to do my work and not see him for a day or two. I never thought the day would come again that someone would wait for me over here in Germany and that I would miss someone to this extend. I thought it had ended as Mom passed away and yet here I am feeling the same pain I always felt when I had to leave her. It seems to be my curse yo be always stuck in the middle because no matter where I am, here or in the States, someone is always left behind and my heart breaks.

I remember prior to coming here, and all the days I cried and cried because I didn’t want to leave my Cinnamon Girl and loved ones. Now, here, my trip is nearly halfway over already and the emotions are starting to run high already, about that day when paths part again and someone is left behind. I am reminded that this could be very well the last time we see each other and I don’t even want to think about that. For right now I want to celebrate the good news about a cancer on remission and a new chance at life.

Posted in Celebration, Family, Love

April fools day & a wedding

It was April fools day, the first day of April. The weather had been decent until that particular day as it began to snow like crazy and wouldn’t stop for two days. It was also the day my cousin, now my Brother was getting married to the love of his life. I am glad that I was here and that I could join this special day and celebrate with these two love birds. May many blessings continue to find their way into their life and may they live happily ever after. Congratulations 💙