I got to watch a little small town ceremony, erecting the “Mai-Tree.” A birch tree is placed into a town center the evening prior to May 1st to bring fertility, growth and good luck to the town citizens. In my case the tree was escorted via tractor and a matching band playing humta-ta-ta-ta music (polka.) It’s been awhile I’ve seen this and last minute I decided to just go and enjoy myself. So I did…
Further tradition also says that an admirer may place a bitch tree in front of the house of the one he admires. Is the tree still there the next morning and not stolen, the admirer will like the tree once more. As payment for his great gesture the father will pay for a case of beer, the mother will bake a cake and the girl herself will reward her admirer with a kiss. Awe….
Stay tuned for tomorrow to see what energy is supporting us throughout this month…June will be slightly delayed due to travel at this time.
It was a decent day on the work front for me today, and thank goodness the chronic fatigue was held at bay. It was a day of mixed emotions and a little bit of all. It fueled me and sometimes it’s good to have stuff on your mind or even upsetting you to some degree. It allows for superpowers to surface and by the end of the day I felt good about all I had accomplished. I continue to go back and forth between panic and feeling at ease and today I realized that I won’t have two and one half month to clear the house. I will need to know before with how much I end up so arrangements can be made for a container, pallets, or whatever else way to ship my belongings. It remains the biggest headache, but I am sure it will unfold just as it must.
If I never realized it before (secretly I have), today would have been the day to acknowledge that I have a thing for domestics, such as linens, blankets, bedding, towels and thereof. Mom did too and while I have given away tons of it already, I am finding it hard to part with some pieces. Too many pieces to be exact. 9 moving cartons are packed by now and no matter how I arrange them they don’t fit on a euro size pallet without wasting a ton of space. But that’s a problem for another soon to be here day and tonight I shall Natel and feel good about the progress that was made.
Today was a day that was mixed with highs and lows. Serenity yet loneliness at times. A missing for my home in the states, a missing for the ones that love me unconditional and who get me every step of the way. I am lucky to have that in my life. I also sensed a worry and loneliness from my “Dad”. I know he worries a great deal about not being able to help me much and today I had to tell him and remind him of how much he did already. Help doesn’t always have to be in the physical form. Help is unconditional love, a feeling, a knowing, a togetherness through thick and thin, support, being one…and that I have..always.
Easter and Spring has always been one of my favorite times here in Germany. Everything starts to awakening, to rise, bloom and thrive as the sun is returning to greet us with longer, warmer days and new life.
It’s been one month since I arrived in Germany and my mind alternates between feeling accomplished of what I achieved so far, and feeling panicked because time is moving fast and there is still plenty of work to be done.
This evening I sat in Moms living room, still, just looking around as the setting sun was casting lights and shadows within the room. I swear I could feel her with me. Perhaps she returned my earlier visit today to the cemetery to bring a little Easter greeting and flowers. Maybe she came to visit me this time and comfort me while the tears were rolling down my face. As I sat there my heart was aching, feeling like the shadows and the light, alive and yet broken to some degree. New cracks are bursting open within me, allowing the light to flow, forming new scars over the old ones as if layered by a healing poultice. I am feeling it all and Easter is a perfect time for me to go inwards even more. I feel tired and drained and for the first time the chronic fatigue is felt like it’s usually with me. I have to push myself, although I had the most steps in a week since I arrived. My body is feeling it though and even Easter is no time to rest for me.
But here is to you and wishing you a wonderful Easter fest with family and loved ones and a big hug from me.
All I have for you today is a picture of this beautiful city that has stolen my heart so many years ago. I get to sleep here must nights during my stay and for me it is a magical place that calls itself Rothenburg o.d.T.
Today marks my one week arrival in Germany. It’s been a busy week and I am happy about the progress made so far. I have worked nonstop and I know that soon or later I need to take a break as to not burn out. Besides, a little “me time” is on order as well. I yearn for the silence of my tiny abode and I miss my little girl a great deal. What a difference from just a few weeks ago. Physically I am holding up better than anticipated and even the additional movement, no matter how difficult and painful, seems to help. I appear to be growing stronger and besides, I am medicated.
Sometimes it’s easy to think that I can relax a little and that I am still at the very beginning of my journey here, but I know how quickly time can sneak up and before I will know it the weeks will have passed. I rather have crunch time now and the possibility to relax later and enjoy, vs taking it easy now and stressing out later because there is no time left.
The storks have returned to a town near my village and also to Rothenburg where I am staying, mainly, with my uncle. Seeing them definitely brought a smile and Mom was always fond of the storks. On a little toad trip she once counted over 50 of them, out in the fields, walking on the side of the road, or on rooftops just like this one. Round iron cradles atop the roof are provided by many people for a royal nest and the return of the storks each year. It’s a sight I always look forward to when I am back home, here in Germany.
Travel day has arrived for me and I am on my long haul back to Germany. Posts are scheduled beyond my departure, but most likely you will find me silent on the blog for awhile as Wifi resources and time will be limited to accomplish what I have set out to do.
At the time I wrote this post I found myself stuck on an emotional rollercoaster. I was trying to stay busy with the amount of endless tasks that still needed my attention, I felt as if I was paralyzed, unable to get it all done. I lost my vision and drive, and all that stood out, were the things not done yet instead of giving myself credit for all I had accomplished already. It’s simply too much at once and I felt overwhelmed.
This post was written 18 days prior to departure and a lot can and will change in 18 days. Some of the stresses I felt have fall to the wayside, and I had to surrender to any concern I might have had. Now it’s no longer in the planning, but I will be in the thick of everything and hopefully things will continue to fall in place.
I distract myself with a TV program and Cinnamon is sitting here whining non stop. She has learned this behavior in order to get a new toy, which makes her back off so I can get done what I need to. Nothing in this case, just vegging out in front of the TV. I catch myself getting upset at her crying and non stop interruptions, and soon I will wish I could have her interrupt me. What a mess.
Traveling to and from Germany has never been easy for me and weeks before is when I turn into an emotional mess. Home is where the heart is they say, but for me this has never truly applied, no matter how much I wanted to believe it. My heart is not only in one place and regardless of where I am, a part is always left behind, leaving me and those who love me feeling incomplete. I am accepting that this is my fate and I have made the decision to leave my home country many years ago. Mom always said that it was my choice, that I did it, I made my bed so to say and now I had to lay in it and suffer the consequences of my actions. I believed her words and perhaps this is what I’ve had coming. Either way it will always be this way, for the rest of my days. It’s a different kind of pain, a different kind of constant that has been with me long before my physical pain made to itself known. And most likely it is part of the reason that caused the physical pain and triggered a disease.
More than ever will I need to believe and realize the importance of this time. More than ever do I need to trust my body and my guardian angels that I am protected at all times. More than ever will I need to remind myself that this is the time where I am changing my stars, where I am getting closer to my own dreams, eliminating burdens and responsibilities, not only for myself but also for others. It simply has to be done…
I’m a mountain girl and there is just something special to be surrounded by a landscape that is so magnificent and wild. A view that takes my breath away while restoring a deep sense of gratitude and fulfillment within myself. I love the ocean too, but my mountains have a special something that always stirs my heart. I found a quote that just about sums it up.
“Mountains are not stadiums where I satisfy my ambition to achieve, they are the cathedrals where I practice my religion.
Last year while in Germany, I got to spend time at the face of this amazing Mountain range, located near Berchtesgaden and Salzburg. Folklore has it that fairies, gnomes and noble people along with great treasures are inside the mountain called the Untersberg. One of the most known myths is that the emperor Karl the great is waiting for his resurrection add will rise from the death at the mountain, although his remains are buried in Aachen. It is said that he sitting at a great marble table with a few other noble men. His long beard is growing longer, wrapping around the table. Every 100 years he sending a servant to count how many crows are flying around the bottom of the Untersberg. If 24 crows are counted, not more or any less, the emperor rises to fight the last battle of humanity. If less than 24 crows are counted, the emperor is sitting back in rest to sleep another 100 years.
His beard has to wrap the marble table three times in order to call this battle into action. It is said that his beard has wrapped the table twice already. Folklore states that if 24 crows are counted the next time he wakes up, we could be faced with the end of all days.
What a story, isn’t it? For me it was the beauty of that mountain range and this area definitely had a vortex for me. I felt at home and at peace. Let’s just hope Emperor Karl is sleeping for long time to come yet.
While I was in Germany last year we were able to watch some great bobsledding practice runs. Both, the men’s and the women’s team practiced that day, and for us it was a completely unplanned event. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I say “just” and yet timing is everything, isn’t it?
There was only a handful of people watching, mostly coaches, sponsors and a few spectators. It was a prime viewing event as we stood right next to the track with the bobsled rushing by us. A truly unique experience. ❤️