Posted in Health, Inspiration

No pain, all gain 

I have a quick turn around today and have to be back to work in 9 hours. I remember back to my childhood, and I can hear my Mother saying that I would have to sleep extra fast to cram all the sleep needed into a shorter time period. This was her response anytime that we had to get up super early, or if for some reason we would lack a good night sleep due to staying up too late. That happened quite often as we are both night owls. I’m having one of these nights and I will sleep little tonight, but I feel good and today was a great day. This post will be scheduled for the morning, but I couldn’t go to sleep without highlighting a marvelous day. In general I always try to have good days, but today I realized just how difficult this has been for me lately. It became apparent how challenging times have become with the chronic nagging pain of the RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis). Occasional flare ups turned into a constant flare up. A new way of life for me which tries to chip away at your positive outlook day after day. I’m still winning though….Today was special and there was no pain to fight through. I would even describe it as feeling normal, something I almost didn’t remember how it felt. Side note: I have noticed that I always feel better after my days off and I have come to the conclusion that I just need to retire haha. Maybe it’s time for that school bus. But back to today, there were no teeth to grit and for once my day didn’t feel like a challenge. It’s been a while. My spirit was instantly lifted as I moved with ease through my tasks. Yes I’m tired by the end of the day, but it was a much needed break and an amazing feeling to be pain free. It made me ponder and realize how much we take things for granted. It isn’t until something hurts or is not working properly anymore that we notice how hard our body works for us each day. How blessed we are if we have our health, and I know that some of you would agree if I say that without it we have nothing. My fingers are crossed for another smooth day tomorrow. I’ve charged the big guy today, my professional camera and I’m going to take some pictures with a friend after work. I’m looking forward to bouncing some collaborative ideas off each other, while having some fun. I’m pretty sure you will see a few of these examples in the near future. Tomorrow will be a long day and I will answer your comments and read your blogs over the next two days. Fingers crossed there will be no pain but everything to gain once more…

XO 💙🦋

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Posted in Health, Life

Lazy Day 

I’m working split days this week, due to a dentist appointment today and my birthday on Thursday. My birthday smile is sparkling, even though my birthday had nothing to do with my teeth cleaning. It’s just one more thing that was on the agenda and that is done. I even got to wear civilian clothing today besides the work uniform or hiking attire you usually find me in on my day off. I got to get dressy for the dentist, whoohooo and sometimes I miss wearing the nice clothes that are just hanging out in my closet without seeing any daylight.The rest of the day floated lazily through the afternoon with little to no accomplishments as far as getting things done. My mom’s birthday is tomorrow and I’m late sending her gift, while I still have not finalized all the pieces I want to send, nor have I packed them. I feel guilty and I don’t remember, ever being so consumed by work with so little free time that it has left me feeling so drained and tired. I’m sure aging has to have something to do with it, and sometimes I think that all the years of physical hard work, are finally taking their toll and breaking me down. My body just can’t recover the way it used to anymore. I guess I’m no spring chicken anymore and in a few days I’ll add another year. Time for that school bus, sell everything and relax a bit. Smoke a little for medicinal purposes to find my own truths, while I hear it more and more that it is suppose to help with the chronic pain of this disease. Did I mention that a homeless man gave me a joint yesterday to help with the pain of the RA (Rheumatoid arthritis)? I do know him and I’m one of the few people who take the time to talk him. He is a kind soul and behind the visual appearance and the judgement of many, there lies a story that most don’t know. A story of a family and a wife that passed away, a story of this not being the first time that he provided for others, and a story that he might have not chosen this type of life, but that it is what life has dealt him. In the end, we all have a story and some are prettier then others. Some can be controlled while others are dealt from fate and everything can change in an instant. I was pretty taken by his kindness, having nothing himself, yet wanting to help me, me who lives in a house, has an income and is obviously better off than him. Maybe in some ways, but not health-wise and perhaps it was what he sensed, seeing the only way he could help me, selflessly and giving. Well when it comes to the bus and the weed, I guess I’m not quite there yet, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t on my mind. The pain is usually worse in the wintertime and I’m not sure how much worse I can endure as I already struggle and hope it is just a flare with better days ahead. It’s something to consider though and if I had to choose between the cancer meds that depleted my white blood cells without my knowledge, that was given to me as treatment for my initial bout with RA and smoking here and there, I think I know which one I would choose the second time around. 

Today felt more like a repeat of last week, not feeling all that great, being tired, abandoned by my energy and still dealing with the flare up. I feel weak, exhausted and all I want to do is rest and nap. After the dentist I gave a haircut and stopped by the little park to feed the geese. I had fun and it’s often the littlest of things that bring me the greatest joy. From there it was off to the phone store in the hopes of upgrading the mobile, but after a bad experience with “Eddie no money”, a nickname we gave him afterwards, we left empty handed. Eddie was his real name but after deciding to not give him any of our money and pursue further business with him, well that’s where the name came in. Did I mention already that I get delirious when I’m tired, but Eddie was well deserving of this name. He was careless, impersonal, cold, inpatient, fidgety and arrogant. Charged us for the wrong phone and seemed visibly upset that we didn’t want to settle for the wrong phone. Well that was that and besides some education on features and specs, like I said we left empty handed with time wasted and nothing to show for. Oh well….at least we know exactly what we want now which should make for a quick transaction when the time is right to see another, more personable salesperson.  

It’s been an interesting week to say the least and there was another dragonfly sighting today. Perhaps it is time for that next oracle card. 

Posted in Health, Inspiration

Muscle Relaxer Therapy

I’m not much of a pill popper and I would rather heal everything the natural route. Sometimes that’s just not optional. Tonight is one of those nights and what started two days ago with the feel of my right shoulder being a little sore, has escalated into severe pain. Initially I thought that perhaps I slept funny, but this was not the case and it was only the onset of much worse to come.Today, I know that somehow I dislocated my shoulder and the bone of the normally round shoulder blade looks lime it shouldn’t. Desite my high tolerance for pain, this one is painful. The ice pack is resting in the my shoulder and I hope it will freeze the pain into submission. I took a muscle relaxer, as everything is starting to tense and I can barely write and keep my eyes open. Nothing has really helped so far and my fingers are crossed for tomorrow and working the whole day. 

Have a beautiful Memorial Day weekend everyone. Hugs xo 💙

Posted in Health, Inspiration

A is apparently for Allergies


Beautiful isn’t it? Don’t be fooled it’s not innocent at all and makes you sneeze and wheeze. 
My introduction to allergies started a few years back. I didn’t realized how blessed I was until then. Unaware and blissfully I had lived my days and didn’t realized how good I had it. Until that one early summer day as everything started with itchy eyes that brought such great discomfort that I felt like clawing them out. This resulted in an allergic pink eye, not contagious but very uncomfortable and no joke. Ever since, I deal with flu like symptoms such as congestion, stuffy nose, itchy eyes and ears and swelling in the throat all year around. At the same time and in addition to my outdoor allergies, I also developed a few food allergies that trigger and increase a few of my symptoms. I learned to adapt. I thought so at least and I have an Eppi pen I really should learn how to use in case if an emergency.After embracing the gray/silver hair choice the other day, I prepared to lighten my hair naturally. Chamomile, lemon mixture soaked hair, I went outside to let the sun speed up the process. Here I sit in the patio chair, the sun is shining strong and all I can do is nothing. It’s so bright I have to squint and for sure I can’t do nothing on the iPad as I can’t even make out a screen or something remotely close to it. Probably from all the squinting I’m doing as my view gets very narrow, ha. Might as well do something and be productive right? A grant idea is born and I might as well rip out a few weeds that have taken on the shape of miniature bushes. Gee…

The half hour lightening process turns into over an hour because time flies when you are having fun right? Stuff and dust is flying everywhere, as I rake, yank, pull and push my way along. Finally, the fun slows down a bit as I feel parched and I desperately need water. Stuff is in my hair and who knows how it got there. Just don’t even ask, I’m done.

Four piles of raked up bushes later, I decide it’s time to stop. Without knowing what is going on, the damage is done already. My back gets a little sore from all the ripping and the extended bending, all while exerting myself and breathing in the pollen mixture that is working it’s way to making me miserable. Nothing too bad….yet, I’m still unaware. Awhile later the right eye starts to swell up and my hearing gets funky. Everything is emphasized with an echo and I actually hear you better if you whisper to me instead of talking normal which sounds a lot like screeching. The eye gets worse over the course of the next day and it is crusted shut by the next morning. An abundance of allergy eye drops and pills saves the day enough so I can function and go to work but I can’t hear what you are saying on the phone and it’s so noisy for me out her. Fingers crossed this passes soon. 

Somebody at work told me that they got a shot for allergies and maybe I should check into it. Anybody else suffering from allergies? 

Posted in Experience, Health, Inspiration, My story

Feeling better….

The hot water was running over my backside, loosening my sore muscles as I stood motionless in the oversized shower that could easily accommodate two. As always, I was the only visitor and I was alone. A steamy, hot occasion due to hot water and not much else, but nevertheless covering the bathroom in a mysterious shroud, a veil of fog and dewy humidity. Standing there, head down, facing the large shower head, I closed my eyes and allowed time to stand still. I didn’t think of anything. My back was slightly arched, one leg extended straight and the other one bent at the knee, causing my hip to shift to one side. My hands, as if I was reaching to the heavens were planted just above my shoulders and found their way pressed against the tile in front of me. Fingers spread apart to grip as much heaven as possible. There I was, standing in silence with nothing more than the water splashing against my naked body, as if I was to find strength in that moment and rinse my soul anew. To take away the stresses that had entered my life while breaking me down and allowing sickness to creep it’s ugly head into my life. A few minutes went by until the water started to run cooler, calling me back to reality. It was also the moment that I allowed thoughts back into my mind and you might find this statement strange. As far as I know, most people would probably agree that their mind is always busy and that they never stop thinking about something. That the voice inside their head never subside, and that there is a presence, a disruption, a distraction which I simple refer to as the “Noise” of our lives. I envision it like the TV channel that has gone off the air, displaying a black and white screen of nothing, with a noise vibration as if you didn’t quiet tune into the station a 100%. 

I’m not sure when and how, but somehow I learned to stop and escape my own noise, to find myself in calm and peaceful surroundings while stopping time and float weightlessly. Perhaps it’s a form of meditation, of way letting go, giving up any resistance, a time that is to be enjoyed, worry free by experiencing the current moment, the “Now”. A moment that knows no worries about the future and has no regrets about the passed, it’s a time of just letting it all unfold the way it’s meant to be. I felt at ease as I was reflecting back to the end of 2016 and the beginning of a New Year. The holidays had come and gone for me without much significance. I spent them away from my family, the people I loved and sadly in the end I just wanted the hectic to be over with. Working in retail finally managed to catch up with me and despite resting as much as possible during this crazy, mad, daily shoppers attack, it wore me down and I ended up getting sick the morning of Christmas Eve. In true trooper fashion, I had almost made it to the end, almost….but 2016 had other plans and wasn’t quiet finished with me yet, or so it seemed. But still….I was at peace. 

I woke up Christmas Eve to a spinning room and it felt all too familiar. It wasn’t too long ago that I had experienced this once before. The spinning wasn’t as violent with the first time being far worse, but it was still enough to leave me lightheaded and nauseous for the remainder of the day. With a pressing headache and feeling off balance, I’m not sure how I managed to work the entire day, but I did. In the evening I got worse, slept through Christmas Day and was down for nearly five days before I regained enough cognitive skills to be able to function and go back to work. The initial spinning was worse during the first time but the recovery period was a lot faster than the second time with the symptoms only lasting for that day. The diagnosis at the doctors office was Vertigo, stemming from an inner ear problem such an infection or “Chrystal’s” being out of place. I never heard of such a thing (Chrystal’s in your ear) but quickly learned how miserable these symptoms can leave you feeling. I was sensitive to noise, people talking too loud and I can now imagine how people must feel that suffer frequently from migraines. 

This is my first post since December 23rd and please know that you all, my wordpress family have been sorely missed. I thank you for reaching out to me, for your kind words and for missing my presence. I hope that I can return to regular postings as the headaches are getting better and I fight myself back to the characteristics of my favorite animal, the bear. 

Strong, wild and free. (But most of all feeling tons better) Grrrrr…..

Posted in Experience, Feelings, Health, Inspiration, Self help, Wisdom

Divine Intervention

Yesterday it came to mind that I have been on a little health kick since I started to see the “Tooth – Fairy”. It’s been over 3 weeks and I noticed an increased interest and a growing commitment to the health of my teeth and oral cavity. It started with me finally taking the first step of overcoming my fear of the dentist, which ultimately inspired additional information to stream in. This was achieved by doing little to no further research of my own and it was something that just so happened.What I mean with that, is that articles where popping up here and there, varying from extensive information to short tidbits. As my curiosity was sparked, I wondered why it was now that all of a sudden this information was pouring in? Did I noticed it because of my increased awareness, still reliving stage 3 in my “Journey of discovery“, or was I just over analyzing everything? Lately, I have been so committed to seeing the signs, hoping not to miss any clues that I was not sure either way, but it felt right to go with whatever the reason might have been. The choice that spoke to my heart was that I would rather be over aware, than to miss a sign.

Some off the information I found was talking about the health of your mouth and tongue in connection to the rest of your body. It was said that the tongue is connected to your organs, therefore making it essentially a vital contributor to your overall health. Even though I considered myself lucky and had no major problems (besides the broken tooth from eating popcorn), I couldn’t help but wonder if me dodging the dentist for so many years posed a connection to my rheumatoid arthritis. There was a possibility, a hunch I couldn’t explain or prove, but somehow believed. I might never know but found it important enough to finally have done my part, the part that was within my control. I was on my way the moment I decided to make a change and see the dentist. I felt strangely ok and at ease with it, as if I was released from all previous fear and anxiety. The health benefit realization came afterwards though and the motivating factor initially was to take advantage of my insurance benefits and to finally take care of a subject that visited me with increased frequency. With all the changes in my near future, worrying about my teeth had no place in it and I knew it.

The next piece of information I came across was a article from a fellow blogger. I had heard of “Oil pulling” before, but the information never seriously resonated with me. I might have glanced at it before or briefly heard about it, but I never gave it any further consideration. Somehow this time was different and my curiosity grew as she was explaining some of the benefits she had noticed within a week. I have to believe it was another nudge from the divine universe, steering me into the right direction and the path I needed to be on.

The benefits of oil pulling sounded amazing and it was described to detoxify and clean your mouth in a way as dish soap cleans your dishes. Literally sucking toxins out of your mouth, creating a healthy environment and helping prevent disease throughout the body. This was big for me, do what was there to loose from giving it a try?

It didn’t take much convincing to give the procedure around for centuries a try. Oil pulling is a method used in India, which was invented long before the first toothbrush was introduced in the 1930’s. I have done it four times by now and adjusted it to my specific needs. The time ranges from a 10 minute minimum to a 20 minute max. I have used coconut oil, which is described as the best and I usually use one table spoon right out of the jar. At first it feels a little like chewing up solid fat but there is really no taste to it and the secret lies in that “Less is more”. Your mouth will fill up when the substance liquidizes and mixes with your own saliva, so my advice would be that you don’t take a heaping teaspoon full of it and start with less. Once you have done it a few times, you can customize and adjust the amount as well as length of time to you and the size of your mouth / oral cavity. There is no need to squish it around hard or vigorously and a gentle motion will prevent your jaws from getting tired. One more thing to consider after your time is up, is that you spit your oil mixture into the trash to safe your plumbing and prevent pipes from getting clogged. Brush as usual afterwards.

Somehow I am convinced of all the benefits and have become a quick fan of oil pulling. I have committed to executing the procedure at least 3-4 times a week and it is something that you want to do first thing in the morning before eating or drinking anything. After the initial two times, I could almost swear that I have seen a difference in my teeth getting brighter. Although I’m an optimist, easily believing in the positive and everything good, I did wonder if I am just imagining that my teeth have become whiter because I knew it to be one of the described benefits? Would I have noticed if I didn’t read about it? I’m mainly skeptical due to the short period that I have been doing my oil pulling, (what a strange term and it should be called oil pushing, since you force the oil to squish around in your mouth vs. pulling or sucking it in and out between your teeth), so I guess I need to go a little longer to get my final proof. My teeth feel as if they are cleaner which must stem from the oil providing a coating, a certain slickness to my teeth. It’s a smooth, clean sensation that lasts from one brushing to the next. It is also said that your skin will become brighter and smoother. Brighter skin and a whiter smile are signs of a more youthful appearance and in a way it feels that besides reaping the benefits, I am also reinventing myself a bit. Not a bad thing I say with a smile of gratefulness.

I hope your curiosity is sparked and you might consider giving oil pulling a try. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and how it has made a difference for you.

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Health, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Loss, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Wisdom

Thank you Tooth – Fairy 

Dear Tooth – Fairy (my dentist)
There used to be a time you brought me money when you took my teeth. And just like that everything is different and the times have changed. You still take my teeth but today I pay you to do so 😉. I mean this in the most fun and harmless way possible as no amount of money could buy the kindness you have bestowed upon me. What you have given me is simply priceless and involves the human touch. 

You see it is much more to me then just finding an outstanding dentist such as yourself who is loved by her staff and clients alike. I don’t need a testament from anybody, I just sense it in the atmosphere and the vibes when I’m around you. I have always said that my strong intuition can be a blessing or a curse as it often reveals a look beyond and I see things hidden from many others. It’s not always pretty and it is often filled with ulterior motives that are self centered, even inconsiderate. Coming across you has been a true blessing and without you ever saying a word, I know why you do what you do. Working in the service industry, impacting and affecting people every day, I want you to know what a difference you make. You have for me, in a huge way. And I know that this is what it’s all about, amongst other things, but this has to be one of the most fulfilling and satisfying reasons I bet. The reasons you can go home after a day of work and feel like you made the world a better place by bestowing your grace upon some lucky souls, your team and patients. 

Bad experiences had kept me away from the dentist, but coming to your office three weeks ago, I couldn’t have known that I was well on my way of overcoming all of my fears. From the moment I stepped foot through your door, I felt so much more than just a new patient. Everybody was so warm and kind and Ashley had the biggest smile once I introduced myself and she handed me the new patient documents to fill out. She would also sneak me into a cancelled appointment the following week and was sensitive to my needs, time and desire to get this done. Later I was kicking back in your lounger (which I previously always considered as the torture chair) simply knowing that everything would be ok. I didn’t want a magazine or anything while I was waiting, I simply wanted to soak up the feeling and enjoy the peace I found myself in. There was a comforting calm settling over me, as if somebody had wrapped me in a warm blanket, a feeling I took in the best way possible. And then I met Elvia which was more like meeting a friend instead of being a patient. I trusted her from the first moment and knew that I was in good hands with her. I immediately connected and she is such a wonderful person, a true gem I’m sure you are very lucky and grateful to have. Elvia remains a vital part of my visits but has grown in my heart as a friend and a person I’m lucky to have had the opportunity of meeting. Elvia reminds me of how good it is to give and I would go to great lengths to make her day in any way possible. 

And then I got to meet you and you sat on your little rolling chair right next me. What I first noticed was the kindness in your eyes, your desire to help, to make things better for me, to do the best to your ability and to be a part in making my smile even bigger and brighter. Yep, I got all of that before we even spoke and once you did, it only confirmed what I already knew about you and your kind heart. If was refreshing to see all of the care you had for me and I have to admit that people such as yourself are very rare. Today’s society seldom gives you the time of day and we often lack the compassion and love for our fellow humans. Feelings and emotions are replaced by selfishness, envy, jealousy and greed. Instead of pulling together we become competition and enemies, caught in a constant race against each other. I felt none of that sitting in your chair, but what I did feel was as if an angel was sitting right next to me to restore my faith in humanity once more. YOU. And you did it in such a big way and not so subtle at all. You touched my heart in ways you might not even be aware of and I could never thank you enough. We had touching moments on all of my three visits. During two we were close to tears, but in a good way as they were tears of joy and sincere emotions. It is now that I find myself once again, close to tears as I am writing this. Also in a good way, because it has so much meaning and I know we might cry once more reading this. 

I experienced loss at a very young age as I lost my Dad and I’m sure it is a big reason as to why I feel so strongly about sharing my feelings. I may do so verbally or physically such as baking a cheesecake for you or doing something else I might think could make your day. And you truly made my day today by accepting the cheesecake and being so excited and appreciative about it. I loved doing it and I don’t do it because I have to but because you have made a difference for me. It’s a very small token of gratitude that I can repay you by making you smile and say cheeesssee….eeeee….cake. If you are lucky enough to meet an angel who changes your life and outlook, if you care and love somebody, if you are grateful for something they did for you, then I say that you need to take the time to acknowledge it and let them know. And so it is that I feel a simple “Thank you” will never be enough to express all of my gratitude for you and your wonderful staff, I hope that this intimate post will give you much more insight of what you have done for me. Thanks to you and your team I no longer fear the dentist and actually think that I might have withdrawals if I don’t see all of you on a weekly basis 😉. It was a thought that crossed my mind today leaving your office knowing that my next appointment won’t be until the 21st. Strange….I know, but in a good way. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart Dr. Owens and team. You are the most amazing Tooth – Fairy ever and I’m truly, truly blessed by you.

Posted in Experience, Health, Holidays, Inspiration, Life

Tough as nails 

“Tough” my dentist called me yesterday and for several times she referred back to this statement even though I’m not quiet sure as to why. 😉 Maybe it was a phycological trick to evoke that warrior spirit and to tough it out, to be strong and embrace what was about to come. Whatever it was, it worked and I walked away with one less tooth but victorious in my undertaking. After signing the piece of paper giving my consent to extract #18, she sat on her little rolling chair next to me, ensuring and double checking that she had given me enough novocaine so I wouldn’t feel a thing. It was my first visit, my first time meeting her and I recall looking up at her to meet her gentle smile while the thought crossed my mind that an angel was sitting next to me who would help me. It was extremely personal and touching to me, maybe I was just nervous and emotional, but I don’t think so and it was as if I could look right into her kind soul, knowing instantly why she does what she does and that was to help people just like me who need a supporting hand from time to time. My focus is usually reversed, with me being the one trying to be an angel to somebody, helping in any way I possibly can. But not this time and this time was about me. Yes I paid her to do a job, but there are always two ways we can do a job. Either our heart is in it and our desire to help people comes through the compassionate manners we carry ourselves in, or its just a job, a matter to collect a paycheck which removes all emotions and simply leaves us not caring one way or another. You know what I thought as she was sitting next to me while being considerate of the thanksgiving holiday, asking me if I wanted to wait with the extraction until after thanksgiving so I could stuff my face. 

While being medicated on novocaine, Elvia her amazing assistant brought me two ibuprofen tablets to take so they could kick in as soon as the shots would wear out. I was informed that I could take up to three pills four times throughout the day to help with the pain that would follow and that I would feel exhausted from the surgery by the evening. I listened and took it all in, after all I never had any teeth besides my wisdom teeth extracted. 

At the moment of extraction I probably did white knuckle my lounger a bit. Not because of pain but because it’s not every day somebody almost sits in top of you, torture tool in mouth and all, trying to violently take extract something rooted from deep inside your mouth. But in fact the whole process was very smooth and the white knuckles only came in because I was preparing myself for the discomfort and the pain that never showed up. 

Evening came and the only thing that held truth was that I nearly passed out and fell asleep on the futon at 9PM. I felt blissfully sleepy but also cold despite the heater running. By now I had a cup of chicken broth, a slice of pound cake, a little stuffing softened even more with gravy and squash vegetables and that was it. I could have probably fallen asleep but now my stomach was reminding me that I hadn’t fed it any substantial food all day. Oh yeah there was also that one banana I ate, but nothing significant to brag about it either. A food scavenger hunt revealed two slices of leftover cold pizza, not exactly the soft food I was suppose to eat but a perfect choice to extinguish and feed my hunger. Soft food or not, after all I am a warrior and the baby that I am at times when I’m tired of being strong was somewhere tucked in, sleeping and out of sight. 

I had no problems eating the pizza and besides taking smaller bites and trying to chew on the other side of the extraction, I took no other precautionary measures and finally felt satisfied. At 11PM I went to bed and remembered in a no big deal moment that I had forgotten all about to take my pain meds. It’s a good thing believe me, as I don’t do pharmaceutical drugs easily. Lucky that I had no excruciating pains and the symptoms that were surely to follow the extraction, or so I was told at the doctors office, never showed up. 

So today on thanksgiving day, I have a few more things to add to my long list of things that I’m already grateful for. 

I met a few angels yesterday at the dentist office who made me the focus (something I’m not used to), and who helped me get better. 

I’m grateful for the smooth process of saying goodbye to #18 and for not having any difficulties with it. 

And I’m grateful for carrying on with life in the fashion of “business as usual”, meaning that I don’t need much extra care, pain meds and such and that I’m able to eat solid food. 

The only thing that seemed to have backfired is that thanksgiving diet plan and I will have turkey and all the fixings after all. Not such a bad thing after all, is it now? 😉
Happy thanksgiving Xoxoxoxo

A little funny for your holiday feast 😉

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Health, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, My story

Round 2

After the “Tooth Fairy” called to squeeze me into a cancelled appointment on Tuesday morning, I started to mentally prepare myself for my second visit. My mind was trying to play tricks on me, scaring me right back into that old fear that had prevented me from going on a regular basis, but I wasn’t going to have it.My first visit, less than a week ago went as smooth as it could have gone, but I knew that today with another extraction to look forward to, it was a procedure that might require surgically cutting my gums. It was a fear inducing thought for sure, but somehow I managed to tuck it away somewhere deep into my mind where it was residing without surfacing until everything was said and done. Well almost done, but not quiet.

I prepared myself a serving of oatmeal on the stove, the proper way which I didn’t always follow before. I recalled somebody I once knew scolding me jokingly for microwaving all the nutrients out of it by not properly cooking it on the stove. Somehow the theory stuck with me and I adhered to my new stove top method. I was no longer going to feel guilty by taking the microwave shortcut. Not that it was all that much quicker anyways and I smiled remembering how many times my oatmeal actually bubbled over the edges of my bowl, leaving behind a mess to clean up. I realized that I never actually saved any time this way, considering all the cleanup that went into it. I cut an apple into my healthy delicious meal while letting it bind together. It felt as if I was preparing my last supper, or breakfast in my case as it would be difficult to eat later after the extraction. Might as well feed myself something healthy, full of nutrition. 

Elvia my dentists assistant casually told me during my first visit about her love for cabbage patch dolls. She stated that she had always wanted one but her parents were poor and she never got her wish. It was just small talk but a few days later a cabbage patch doll crossed my path in the most strangest of ways as if it was miraculously just placed in front of me to test my reaction. And yes it was Elvia that I was thinking of as I saw the doll and I just had to have it for her. 

Once I arrived at the dentist I saw Elvia and handed her a little gift bag that included a little note and her very own cabbage patch rainforest doll which resembled a butterfly. As a spirit animal, butterflies are often associated with transformation and change. A symbol of resurrection, butterflies represent endurance, change, hope and life. I found it to be fitting since Elvia helped transform my fear of going to the dentist and helped me change to live a healthier life. To resurrect myself and evolve into a more beautiful version of myself with a brighter smile. Thank you Elvia. 

What followed was a reaction I could have not predicted as it was merely a token of appreciation that I had handed her and not something so far out of the ordinary for me. I just wanted to do this for her and I didn’t do it for one moment because I felt that I had to. Elvia’s eyes teared up once she saw what it was and she was genuinely touched by my gesture. “Oh my god I will cherish this forever, this is the kindest gift somebody has ever given me” Elvia stumbled under tears as we hugged. Time stood still for a moment as everything else was disappearing and I’m forever grateful that I could present Elvia with something so minor and minute, but something she felt so happy about. Needless to say it moved me beyond words and reminded me of my true calling and what I was aspiring towards. To make a difference and help people in any way that I can. And it was in that very moment when I was blessed to experience Elvia’s Joy that my own craving was born to experience many more moments like this. This was the second time this week that I got to experience this feeling of sheer bliss through the joy of others. Just the day before I extended a job offer to a woman who had just interviewed with me and she was so happy that her entire face lit up as she thanked me, tearfully and asked if she could give me a big hug. Another hug that invoked the same feeling, a gratifying moment, being able to make a difference. I know that my future, in which ever way it might unfold itself, will have something to do with reliving this feeling over and over again. It will know the deepest sense of satisfaction through the happiness of others. 

After signing the consent to extract #3, a tooth that had broken off while biting down hard onto an unopened popcorn kernel, my tooth fairy, my kind, beautiful angelic dentist sat next to me once again as I was stretched out on the lounger. She asked me about my other tooth from last week and if I was ok with just regular ibuprofen. I told her that I forgot to take anything, ate pizza that very night and she laughed and called me tough a few times again. Tough as nails and a high tolerance to pain indeed. “We got big plans for you today, are you mentally prepared for it” she asked me and it was then that the gum cutting thought appeared once more before I dismissed it again. I knew there was a possibility but I didn’t want to think about it. I was finally here to face whatever was to come and I was ready. Warrior mode in full effect. She told me that she likes to prepare people for the worst and that it would be a bonus if things turn out to be much easier. The tooth was in the upper, right back, solidly settled deep inside my gums with three strong roots. Great. I knew it would not be as easy as the wobbly tooth from last week, but let’s just get it on already, I thought as we were about to start. Thanks to novocaine again, there was not the slightest pain throughout the procedure, but there was more pressure and a wrestling match going on to get the tooth out which seemingly decided to come out root by root instead of in one solid piece. In the end everything came out beautifully as my “Tooth Fairy” mentioned and I count myself blessed and lucky for lucky #3 to be mostly cooperative as I know that it could have gone way, way different. 

I took my regular dose of ibuprofen while I was still at the dentist office in preparation for when the novocaine would wear off. In comparison to last week where I felt nothing, I did feel it wear off this time and what remained was a dull constant, I can’t even call it pain, but a rather annoying discomfort reminding me that I just had a tooth pulled. No swelling of any kind (lucky) but later during the night the dull pain even woke me up at some point. The discomfort continued into the next day, probably until mid afternoon until I finally won the battle over the pain banishing it out of sight and feel without any further pain meds.

I am thankful and beyond grateful for the out of this world care that I have received from my tooth fairy and her amazing staff. In just two visits (I was going to say short visits, but they have been actually pretty long visits) her team has managed to ban my year long fear by making me feel comfortable in ways I could have not imagined. I’m no longer afraid of going to the dentist and actually look forward to seeing a few kind friends who have made a difference in my life in such a big way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

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A quick refresh 

Just a short stroll through the snow to refresh my mind and to reconnect with the peace and serenity I always find when I visit Mother Nature. 

It was a quick trip, chilly but beautiful, a quick reward after another dentist visit (I will write about at a later time) and the loss of #3 being the last and final extraction. The rest of my teeth are here to stay, for a long long time I hope. 

There is always something in life that could steal our smile, but I hope you remember to fight through it and never let anything get in between that. And if you can’t help it, because that does happen at times, I wish you that the time will be short and you learn to smile in biggest way once more. Even with two missing teeth, you can still smile big and find something to be grateful for. 

Have a beautiful day. Xoxoxoxo.