Full Moon energy

For some reason, at first unknown to me, I am still working with the energy of the full Snow moon from the 27th of February. By now it is clear that it was needed to bring what has been lying under deep deep covers, stored away for such a long time, as I was slowly becoming aware.

Being a moon child my connection to the moon has always been very important but it seems, the energy of this one was at an entirely new level. One that took me deep, encouraging me to face a few skeletons and bring these levels to surface. Something had shifted, a feeling that I was ready to begin peeling back the layers accumulated over decades of ancestral trauma. Wounds were calling to be acknowledged, understood, perhaps healed since a long time.

Leading up to the full moon things became increasingly more emotional for me. As if my glass was full to the brim, nearly flowing over, unable to take the slightest disturbance. It would surely push me over, I just didn’t knew in which way.

I was working in my kitchen the day before the full moon and actually felt great about everything I had accomplished. New Elderberry syrup was cooking on the stove, I processed my homemade Fire cider that had been fermenting for the past three month, made “Doggy Doo Shampoo” for Cinnamon, a Rosemary smudge stick (my favorite) wrapped in tulip blooms, which all took a few hours to do. Not sooner was I done and sat down, I felt tired and drained. Besides the accomplishments, a strange sadness crept in and engulfed me like a big dark cloud. A sadness that felt painful and isolated. All I could do is sit, hand on my heart, playing a video game in a fog like state of mind, observing a mindless wasting of time without caring much. I actually don’t know how much time passed sitting like this. I was drained emotionally, unable to think and worry, my mind had checked out, leaving me sit there, just being. I couldn’t explain what exactly brought me to this point and I chucked it up to the stress in my life, the uncertainties, the worries, the things that need attention, the void and what’s missing, the emptiness and what’s still waiting and needs my attention. It’s a lot, it truly is, but one step at a time, right!

The next day while on a hike with the Cinnamon girl the same happened. During a break and her chewing up a branch, the sadness returned and there I was, in a beautiful place, overwhelmed by whatever brought this on, crying silently, inward, without disturbing anyone or letting them help or console me. “You and your feelings”, “pull yourself together”, “what’s wrong with you”, voices of the past commanded me until eventually the moment passed.

Later at home I researched the full moon energy and came across an article from Mia Steiber. She explains that this full moon can ring alarm bells and that emotional souls out there can tend to feel overwhelmed by Virgo’s notoriously critical nature. Water signs such as myself (Cancer) may feel more delicate during this time and I think this definitely applied to me.

Further she claims that tensions will run high and that the undercurrents since the last new moon will come to the surface. As such, it’s important to be in charge of the energy you chose to invite during this time. I didn’t feel in charge of my energy at all and what I wanted to invite, but I knew that “this@ wasn’t it. It was time to dig deeper and get to the bottom of it, utilizing the moon energy that rules our inner self. I went inward the night of the full moon to find, meet, and hopefully heal an inner child that had left me emotionally so broken. An inner child that needed to be acknowledged and re-integrated with myself. I’ve been working with this energy ever since and great progress has been made I think. I have learned a great deal and I hope to share this experience with you shortly.

To be continued…