Posted in Family, Healing, Inner Child

At the gates of ancestral trauma – The work begins

Picture: Yahoo

By now I was fully emerged into my Inner child healing. It became my mission to connect and heal each child, one by one. So far I had met two inner children and I was still adjusting to the concept that there is more than just one inner child. Each so far required an emotional process, but I could feel layers of deep trauma peeling away by doing this important work. In a sense it felt as if I was reinventing myself. Peeling away that final layer of resistance and trusting process with a knowing and confidence I couldn’t explain.

It as a different reinventing and I’m not talking about a new haircut, a new diet or something like that, but through deep emotional healing that would ultimately propel me to my higher self, , my soul’s purpose, visible in appearance, attitude, behavior and a much lighter heart.

March 2nd was like a new dawn. I felt as if I was finally crawling back from the darkness. Although I was still in a lot of physical pain, there was an emotional release that helped me see things on a brighter side again. I knew I was coming around the bend by doing this important work. At least mentally I felt more stable and the depression and vast emptiness subsided. No sudden loneliness came over me, or crying from one moment to the next without knowing why. I could finally trust myself again vs. being afraid of myself.

It was as if I was looking in from the outside, being a distant observer, able to evaluate the situation from a different level or was it that I was just getting numb to the bullshit. Nevertheless I felt guided and that something had been set into motion. Something was different, something started and took me along in tow. I wondered why some of us seem to struggle so much more while others seem to have it all together? Have you ever looked at someone thinking how well pulled together their life is? Is it control, are they stronger than we are, do we feel too much, are they hiding it better, are we blowing things out of proportion, or is there something wrong with us? Are we troubled souls, unable to find our way through life, or is it that we feel on a different, a much more intense level? Perhaps it is something different all together? Maybe you have asked the same question before. I have come to the conclusion that those of us feeling this way are actually blessed. For we are given an opportunity and the tools of understanding, recognizing and resolving such trauma that has held us prisoner for so long. Sometimes a lifetime. I think others feel it too, but perhaps don’t know what it is or how to work with this energy. So if you are here, count your blessings, not everybody get’s this chance.

March 2nd was a turning point, and I felt empowered and motivated. It was time for the biggest transformation of my life. I realized that in reality I had long known that this day would come, and it was finally here. Was I surprised that finally it was time, or had I stopped believing that I would ever see it! A lifetime seemed to have passed since I first knew. Now it was here, at a magnitude I couldn’t have predicted. A magnitude that would become my salvation in the pursuit of peace within, especially from foreign and outside influences. It was only the beginning, but already I knew.

After the stir of the Full moon I did a shamanic journey to meet Dad in the energetic world. I used to believe that losing Dad was my first traumatic life event, but now I was learning that some events dated much further back and some trauma isn’t even mine to carry. For example ancestral trauma which is the trauma of the generations that came before you. Trauma that was experienced and not resolved, now reincarnated into another lifetime, into your soul. It became obvious that I carried the trauma of my family, burdens generations before me were unable to work through and lift.

All of a sudden it was clear that Dad’s passing was when my conscience was jolted into action, and it stood the first time that I recall trauma in an awakened and aware state. But it was not my first experience and most of my inner children had formed already before Dad’s passing. This usually happens by the age of eight.

To be continued..,

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

27 thoughts on “At the gates of ancestral trauma – The work begins

  1. You are into tough work, dear Rhapsody. I feel good about reading, how you choose to approach it.
    Often the first wounds, as we get as kids, we don’t remember so clearly, as the most important are the first to show up, when we start to heal our soul.
    Nice to read, that you are doing so well, dear friend.
    Much love and huge hugs ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your words mean so much Irene and it is so wonderful when someone like you can look in from the outside, recognizing the process because they have walked the path themselves.
      I feel good about doing the work and it has become the only way to become free and shed the conditioning and outdated models that I never felt fit me the begin with. Yes it is tough work but then nothing ever worthwhile is ever easy. Thinking about you and hope you are doing well. My house here in the states goes on the market for sale next week.
      In love and light. 💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I will have to come to Germany to take care of the house there and I will definitely make time to meet and spend time. It’s a highlight and something I look forward to.
        Much love my friend. 💙Stay safe.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Trust me dear lady, we each have our paths and even fears that we wouldn’t even call a fear…but ‘others’ do feel it that way. And we do meet people in their many stages, some will have it together…but not before going through that dark tunnel of life. They are usually the ones that can pass on their journey to help us on our own. You have spoken and made me stop and listen to the magic you have experienced. When the student is ready, the teacher will come…and if the teacher doesn’t listen too…he still has a lot of work to do 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 😂 🤣

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is comforting to know isn’t it? It amazes me how some seem to have experienced all this wisdom so much earlier in life. Sometimes I feel that with that one traumatic event with my Dad’s passing that my soul checked out for some time to protect me and that I learned these lessons later in life. Ha…but I’m doing it and that’s all that matters .💙🦋🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

      1. To be honest, spirit does put blinkers on us till we are ready. We couldn’t be expected to understand truly a loved one passing at a young child’s age, our life experiences hasn’t given us enough to see into it for ourselves. Yes, as a child it would be heart wrenching for that loss. but as an adult it has many more implications to feel and digest. So you and your dad would have been through and connected in so many ways in him seeing your first job, first love, first adventures and shared them all on up till he passed…and all those things showed you him and you, the way you interacted and the meanings that it all gave. Love is very wise, we have to feel all those conditions we place on them, feel their wrongness in those experiences and find a way through into what does feel right. The main eye opener for me was in losing a friend. He did have his bad habits etc…but those things no longer mattered because of the love we had in that connection. It was only me holding onto them because of how I felt with my attitudes and expectations from those fears that I carried. It takes a long time to digest all of these things as love is no small subject, but it has the patience of a saint so that we can be given every experience to understand what it truly is and understand that in the end we will be in that full acceptance of who we are. When we finally have nothing to ‘cling’ to from fear, only then do we fully open. When we open in that acceptance there is no longer anything to hinder the unconditional love within us and what we are…and have always been. We cannot appreciate anything until it is taken away, be it our love or others…only then does its worth show itself. Your dad has shown you a great love in his passing, he has asked you to feel that beauty within and what it means to be free in all that you feel. Yes, it is hard, but it is also one of the greatest teachers of your heart ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wise words as always and I am realizing and experiencing so much of your words. I think we are never given more than we can handle no matter how heart wrenching it is. I think we have to have these experiences and hardships, because otherwise we won’t learn. Unconditional love is what it is truly about. To forgive them as well as ourselves. To dig deep and find your true core essence. 💙🙏🏼😊

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Simon, I think I have the answers and know what needs to be done. It’s more about finally putting in the work and the courage to face the inner demons. To understand why we feel the way we do and release the trauma that was passed on to us. You will have to click on all the links in the posts and you can find there how I arrived at this point.
      Have a great weekend my friend and much love. 💙

      Like

  3. I have the honour of being on the inner child healing journey too. I love that we are there for each other to talk about it and process everything. I have noticed your transformation from the fighter who is on the back foot to the beautiful fiery bird who is rising from the ashes. Those ashes are full of nutrients, from them comes the growth of the new. You are changing your life, yourself, you are standing here as a model to many. Thank you for sharing your healing journey so openly and honestly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You leave me speechless like so many times before and I am so proud that we can share these moments. For without you I wouldn’t be where I am now. So thank you very much.
      You speak of me, but I see you in your own words and look at yourself. Look at your journey and the leap of faith you are taking to follow you most authentic self. No ordinary moments my friend and definitely no small feats. I bow to you and see you my glorious sister. 🙏🏼💙

      Liked by 1 person

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