Posted in Emotions, Journey, Life, Mom

Carrying you with me

Mom”s little brooch on my suit jacket

Last Wednesday was the signing of the sales contract for the house. The night before felt strange, as if I was sleeping in the house for the last time as the rightful owner. After my signature there would be no turning back and a sense of finality made itself apparent. I struggled all the way up until that day, asking Mom to help me, to be present, to send a sign.

On the way to the notary I saw three storks playing in a field near the road I was driving by and instantly I knew Mom was with me. We have a special story about storks and counting over 50 one day. I also took her with me, wearing her broach on my suit jacket and I knew that we would walk this path together. We’ve shared a few profound paths together in the end, still alive and in death.

The signing took nearly 90 minutes and I felt nothing. There was no sadness, no relief, no remorse, worry, or else. I was numb, just doing what needed to be done. I knew part of it was shock, trauma, and years of fear processed and coming into reality. And I knew there was more to come and it wouldn’t simply bypass me in this sense.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

4 thoughts on “Carrying you with me

  1. But she was with you. As was the love between you. And storks don’t lie dear lady. When I ‘let go’ of down here and looked back down to others, none of it meant anything, not any of the ‘bits’ of the world, but just the love for those people AND the knowledge that all they are doing is bringing them closer to the love I now truly felt, the unconditional love we all strive for. Big hugs dear lady, it is a big haul but you are doing it, reaching for that destiny, in heart and soul ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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