Family in crisis

It was last weekend that my step daughter was scheduled to visit and pick up a bunch of stuff her Dad wanted her to have. Actually, it was mostly an inheritance his mother wanted her to have and some of the stuff has moved with us a few times, holding onto it until what we perceived to be the right time to give it to her. Honestly we were looking forward to it disappearing as it was in the middle of the way and we constantly had to maneuver around it.

She made it into town late Friday night and the plan was to go out for dinner Saturday and spend some time together. It would be only the second time in her daughters 8 years of life that my husband would see his granddaughter. I know he was looking forward to it with an open heart. Especially since the first time he saw her lasted only 30 minutes. Keeping in touch the best to his ability, not forgetting birthdays and holidays, seeing, speaking and observing his grandchild in person is something hard to beat.

The weather gods were not on our side for the garage sale and I convinced my husband to spend time with his daughter and grand child. He indeed sent a message, stating that plans had changed and that he was available and looking forward to their time together. Needless to say things didn’t pan out and there is a lifelong troublesome history between the two, for what remains to be an unknown reason. Both are not the easiest people and I see some of the same tendencies in both. Headstrong, stubborn, often talking at each other instead of with each other. Both want to be heard, but both often speak from a place of hurt and disappointment. It’s always reactive, cause and effect, action and reaction. Each has to get their little jabs in, each a victim who is worse off than the other one.

A squabble broke out Saturday before seeing each other. We never got to meet and a 10 hour drive, round trip was for nothing. It was a nice get away for them but it wasn’t about what it was meant to be and so dinner or time together never happened. The ordeal dragged into the next day and a message from me trying to reach her was left unanswered and acknowledged. Sunday morning she basically told him to keep his S..t and made her way back to her home, five hours away. It was unreal, but was I really surprised? This little action created extra work and a headache for us. Sadly and with no other choice we were forever to take everything to the dump. A lifetime of family heirlooms, pictures, furniture and soooo much more, all loaded up into the car and gone to the dump, to be crushed and shredded into a thousand pieces. Maybe it could have been stored again somewhere, for perhaps another time, but there was no reasoning with Dad and he was overflowing from being fed up. What a shame.