Sunset cycle

I went for another bike ride this evening and the air was still muggy and heavy at 8PM. With little change in the forecast, I braved it to go out while taking my time. My face was still red like a tomato, covered in a thin veil of sweat. I’m still not used to riding a bike again, and I’m working hard to regain my shape and energy. I’m struggling with the humidity and the RA but feel I have to get moving. Tonight’s ride would be for joy and to get some exercise, instead of blowing off steam like I did the other day, after our fight.

It was tough to see Mom the next day and I still struggled with some of the things she had said. I didn’t even care to see her but went anyways, by being the bigger person and putting the ball right back into her court. It would be up to her what happened next. I entered the room and said a brief hello. She was curled up in bed, not looking all that great. We only exchanged a few words in the beginning and I let her be while tending to the iPad. I didn’t want to push her and create an even more uncomfortable situation. Clearly it was difficult enough already. I caught her looking at me, but she quickly turned her gaze, almost as if she was embarrassed about herself. Her look fell downwards but no words managed to come from her lips. She had mentioned that she didn’t sleep the night before. Surprise. Probably felt bad and guilty for what she said and rightfully so, not that I was looking for some kind of payback or satisfaction knowing she had suffered. Still there was a certain comfort knowing that it did affect her and that her behavior wouldn’t become acceptable or a given in her eyes. She had to know how wrong she was. Strangely enough I slept and did not take the initial anger, pain and disappointment to sleep. It was either the bicycle or a new soul contract that encouraged a different truths for me.

Lunch came and she finally accepted a piece of pretzel. She has grown to love them and I get them from time to time to share with her. I bring a treat every day, but pride got in the way and she declined at first. And yep, I ate the first one right in front of her. What terrible daughter, right? Let’s just say that I provided the opportunity for her to think about her stubbornness and if it was worth it, because that pretzel was delicious and she knew it. Another attempt had failed to offer her another piece, and we were still not ready to swallow that pride. Until lunch.

The conversation started to flow more, perhaps she was happy I had a second pretzel. And then finally it happened and I made her smile again. A smile that filled the room and filled my heart, replacing prior feelings of hurt with a gratitude to be there for her. By then a wonderful letter had found its way to me from a special person, trying to encourage me and shedding light onto the exact thing that was unfolding right in front of my eyes. The timing was perfect and faith was restored. Later on we even read the little Buddha again, and not once was there any mentioning of the topics from the day past that caused such uproar. Everything was back to normal… just like that.

On my bike ride the spirits were strong with multiple messages this evening. I hear you loud and clear my friends. A butterfly was leading the way in front of the bike for quite a ways, leading me to dragonfly, some fish and later as if one wouldn’t have been enough, to an entire herd of sheep. Apparently their wisdom is especially important. I even found one black sheep amongst the herd and had to smile. Yeah buddy, I am different too but I love it this way.

And then, just look at that sky. So with whatever it is that you are doing, I say the message is that “The sky is the limit” ❤️