Posted in Inspiration, Life, Quotes

We are travelers

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

Paulo Coelho

Presence II by Robert Bissel

I think this is beautiful and it is my inspiration today. Thank you for stopping for a moment, for taking the time, for reading, and for making this a precious moment. It is definitely one to write down in my book of 365 blank pages for 2021.

Posted in Inner Child, Shadow Self, Spirituality

A visit from my inner child

Picture: Google

At the beginning of the year, I wrote a long post, kind of a mission statement I could apply for the year ahead, a promise to myself. In it I asked all versions of myself, my soul, my higher self, my shadow self and my inner child to come forward, and together work as one. To shed separate agendas and you feel equally valued and important. To feel equally loved and acknowledged, and to support me in working for one mission and one goal.

You may have heard me talk about the inner child before and here is an excerpt from the prominent psycho spiritual counselor and mentor, Mateo Sol.

“Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity and playfulness.”

Reconnecting with your inner child allows you to access the fragmented parts of yourself so that you can discover the root of your phobias, fears, insecurities and self worth.

So why should you need to reconnect to your inner child you might wonder. I think the main reason is for healing as trauma is often stored during the early years, during childhood, when we don’t have the necessary tools to process it correctly. Revisiting and reconnecting to your inner child later in life, allows you to process these instances and ultimately set you free.

“When you free the Inner Child – you free the adult also.” -Alcazar

Here are some signs that you may have a wounded inner child:

  • You feel that there is something wrong with you, in the deepest parts of yourself
  • You experience anxiety when going out of your comfort zone
  • You are a people pleaser
  • You don’t have a strong sense of identity
  • You deliberately like being in conflict with people around you
  • You’re a hoarder of things, emotions, people, and you have a hard time letting go
  • You feel inadequate as a man or a woman
  • You constantly criticize yourself for your supposed inadequacy
  • You’re unforgiving to yourself, rigid and a perfectionist
  • You have a hard time committing and trusting
  • You have deep abandonment issues and would cling to relationships, even when they are toxic

If any of this rings a bell, you might ask what the next step is and how you can reconnect with your inner child.

One way you can do this is in the form of writing a letter to your inner child. You can apologize if you feel you’re living a life that doesn’t honor your inner child. Or you could write a simple letter explaining that you wish to build a stronger relationship with your inner child in your life going forward.

And this is exactly what happened as I write that long post mentioned above, encouraging all versions of myself to work together. Feeling equally important and loved. It was my inner child that responded first to my written letter. I was getting ready to take a shower, sitting in front of my vanity, while removing the last traces of make up from the day, when I noticed it (again). When I say again it’s because in hindsight I recalled it happening a few times throughout the day, in specific after finishing that post, but it was then, that evening that it hit me and I truly noticed. Here I was looking in the mirror and my inner child starred back at me. Let me explain: of course it was me, my head, my current face etc. but I had the reddest and rosiest cheeks ever. Everything else was normal, my temperature, everything checked out. I wasn’t running or doing anything that could have brought this on and as a matter of face it seldom happens period and I am not a rosy cheek person.

I do remember it happening in Germany in 2018 while I was there to care for Mom. I was doing inner child work due to the belief of losing a part of my soul during the traumatic death of my Dad when I was ten years old. I underwent a soul retrieval where my ten year old self was integrated and returned to me. I know it sounds intense and it indeed was a very emotional time for me.

Being reunited with my ten year old self that fled my soul in a trauma response to my fathers sudden death, I remember spending time by making my inner child feel as welcome and safe as possible. One night I cooked alphabet soup that I had always loved as a child. I even wrote a post about it titled Alphabet soup back in May 2018

I connected the dots and my sense of truth about my inner child paying me a visit, then, and today was so strong. I just knew and she made herself noticeable with her rosy cheeks.

I had no idea that only a few hours later, my shadow self would come to visit me as well. Perhaps to join the pact and all versions of myself, to get onboard my mission working towards a common goal, but that’s another story, for another time. Stay tuned. 😉

Posted in Challenges, Inspiration, words


Picture form yahoo

This week’s new word is equanimity (n) which stands for mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.

I relate to this word and it’s meaning. Especially during the later part of 2020, I felt tested and tried to practice such equanimity. Honestly, it’s been a struggle.

The other day, (which by now was actually last year already) I had hiccups four times throughout the day. It’s unusual and I don’t remember this happening before. Just like everybody else, from time to time I do get it, but four times in one day, with such persistence, was something new to me. Mom always said that someone is thinking of you when the hiccups pays you a visit. Enough already, notice taken 😉.

During the fourth visit in that day, a bad headache like a migraine came to join the discomfort. Eventually my heart felt such pressure, that I ended up taking an aspirin and went to bed. I did a little research and got my answer of what might have been the cause for it’s multiple visits throughout the day. Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised, and then this new word arrived in time to remind me to do my best and practice equanimity, no matter how challenging it gets. It’s in my best interest and health to master it and turn it into a success story for me. The article indicates that the possible cause was emotional distress and I knew it to be true at that time.

Luckily 2021 has started out on a bit gentler note and the stormy sea has softened it’s title waves. For how long, who ever knows but for the moment at least and each day of smooth sailing is a gift.

Posted in Energy healing, Native American, Reiki, Shamanism

First Reiki healing of 2021

Photo: Connecting with Mother Earth at Convict Lake in 2017

Last night we resumed our weekly Reiki healings and it was our first session for 2021. If you are new to this and you are reading this for the first time, please know that I offer free, weekly Reiki distance healings every Sunday evening at 7 PM PST. I welcome you and would love to have you there if you ever want to tune in. It’s a general healing session and in my experience everyone has room for healing of some sort. Should anyone has specific needs or want me to focus on something more targeted, please feel free to reach out to me. Please also note that these healings are fueled by my intuition and what I feel is needed the most, unless I am made aware of intentional healing wishes.

Anyhow, after a short break the week prior to sort my own energy and focus on my own healing, I was eager to meet you again and last night was the time. Thank you once more for understanding and for eagerly awaiting our healing time together. While much love was poured into last nights session, the intent was a little different, more urgent if you will.

I called in the big guns last night, mixing modalities and combining ancient wisdom with modern energy healing techniques. Present we found the wisdom of Native American cultures, shamanic healing, Reiki, my soul and higher self, as well as all version of myself (more on that later), my spirit guides, animal helpers and guardian angels, who wanted to step forward and assist in the healing.

I started the session by drumming on my black earth drum for 10 minutes. A deep bass sound, the heartbeat of the earth. The drum is a voice, a prayer to spirit, the voice of the earth coming through to speak of its heart. Drumming connects us to Mother Earth, the creator, connecting our heart to its heartbeat. It felt very soothing as the energy was building, securing us more and more, helping us to stay grounded and deeply rooted to withstand upcoming storms. With all the recent storms and experiences we each have faced, it was my belief/intuition that strengthening of our foundation was needed as another year of uncertainties has begun.

After 10 minutes of drumming the energy felt very powerful, an in the zone kind of energy. I laid down and rested while Native American tribal drumming continued to come now through the speakers instead of my own hands. The message was still urgent. Soft, but with intent, with a mission to strengthen such foundation. From there I connected to the ultimate life force energy that is Reiki. As a conduit for light and love and ultimate healing to come your way, I held the space for you in a beautiful glow and a warm embrace.

One by one you came forward, accepting your gift in celebration for each other. And one by one we marched on, surrounding a huge bonfire, joining in a dance of wild abandonment and eventual laughter. Each dancing away their own reasons as to why healing is needed. Laughing as troubles faded away. Fear, sickness, anxiety, loneliness, acceptance needs, insecurities, faults, anger, shortcomings, problems and other troubles, all vanishing with the smoke into thin air.

You can also read about the zodiac – Fire sign Here and the energy it brought to our healing ceremony last night.

It was beautiful, healing and all is well and as it needs to be. Namaste beautiful souls 🙏🏼💙

Posted in Goals, Inspiration, Life

A promise to myself

A couple of days in, we might still ponder New Years resolutions and goals. Instead of burdening myself with extra “must do’s, trackers and achievement deadlines, I decided to shed more expectations in 2021. To dump the New Years resolutions and burdens one often places on themselves during a time like this. Instead of clouding my journey, I am starting my year with a promise to myself.

One of the things I decided to return to, is something I used to do quite a lot, yearly actually. Throughout the year I’d collect special pictures and photographs taken by me. In a way it was my vision, the world through my eyes. These would become the favorite ones, the special moments, the ones that stand out and which you recognize at first glance. They were inclusive to places I’ve been, moving and emotional moments, animals, friends, family, art, crafts, flowers, architecture, anything that touched my heart and made me feel alive.

I decided to go back and make these photo moments a yearly tradition. What stands out after missing many years is how special these collections always were, how they could lift and pick me up during a low. As if by magic they put a smile back onto my face and allowed me to take a break from the hectic and the troubles.

At the end of the year, these daily moments became the pages of a photo book or a video. I even included songs from that particular year that moved me. Songs that equally had meaning and told the story of my journey, complimenting the pictorial moments, while allowing me to look back and hold dear the most favorite and memorable of times. To remind myself of the beauty and magic in each profound moment, as they stitched together a beautiful quilt of memories to warm the heart.

Still to this day it’s soothing to my heart to pull out a prior video or book and relive the moments of that year. It’s always a treat, even years later. With moments fleeting and time racing faster each year, I decided that these pictures should focus on the beauty and magic of every day life. That I wanted to seek them out and make a conscious effort to notice. In other words I am encouraging myself to slow down and smell the roses.

A busy life often takes us away from truly celebrating the small moments that all too often become the big ones down the road in life. In a moment of stillness, we can find magic and wonder all around us. This is not about adding another thing to our schedule, as it doesn’t require a huge time commitment. What is encouraged is a little willingness and prioritization to gift yourself those special moments. The payoff is big and who couldn’t use a little extra magic in their every day routine!

It encourages you to stop, to see something beautiful, to acknowledge it and to let it fill your heart with gratitude, beauty and magic. In my book, beauty and magic can be found in the smallest of packages. Actively pursuing it, brings light, love, hope, imagination, creativity and positivity into our lives. It allows us to pause long enough to witness the beauty that surrounds at all times.

I re- started this project on January 1st and pondered what this first picture, this special moment, the magic and beauty movement should represent. Keep in mind that this is highly personal and will vary from person to person. For me, the most fitting was a current selfie to take an honest look at myself. To realize that everything starts with me and that my own personal outlook determines if and when I see the beauty. I am checking in with myself on this first day to set the foundation. A mirror image so to say to motivate, myself, my inner child, my higher self and my shadow self in preparation of all that lies ahead. Known and unknown.

Today I ask all versions of myself, my soul, my spirit guides, and guardian angels to come together and work as one. I take an active part, promising myself to always have my back, to make the best out of the challenges ahead, to always see the silver lining, to be supportive and a cheerleader to myself when I need one. I promise to live and learn, to believe in myself, and feel empowerment with endless possibilities and opportunities. I promise to share the light and spread inspiration wherever I can, to help those who struggle, including myself. Today I turn a new leaf, not being afraid to ask for help when I need it myself. I recognize that I don’t always have to do it all on my own. I recognize that i am surrounded by love, by people who hold the space for me when I need to lay my weapons down. Today, I remember that ultra independence is a trauma response.

I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve, without worry and fear that it might get wounded. It is out my control if it does. I surrender and trust. I believe and anticipate the successes that are just around the corner, for they are my rewards for all the hard work. Today I reassure and remind myself that I am worthy, that everything is as it needs to be, and that everything I am deserving of, will find it’s way to me and won’t be denied. I acknowledge the strengths that it takes to walk in my shoes, to step out alone and to take that first leap. I honor the process and I am proud to have found the courage to stand on my own.

As I take this honest look, I vow patience and forgiveness for any shortcomings and mistakes. In myself and others. I promise to be gentler with myself, knowing that no matter how things turn out, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, not all will always agree with me. I am at peace as long as I know that I have given my best and came from a place of unconditional love.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Here is to me, the dreamer, the artist, the writer and misfit, the one going against the grain to support a free spirit and the growth of the authentic self. Here is to the like minded, the misunderstood, the judged, the used and abused, the ones that have to create their own magic, reinvent themselves time and time again. The ones that continue to fight the good fight, the ones that never stay down for too long and who are finding their own sunshine, heartbeat and love. Today, I look into the mirror, into that self imagine and into all of you who struggle to hold on. Today I tell myself and you …

“You got this, and only you decide how the story ends and where it goes from here. You are in charge and the co-creator of your life and destiny. Only you can make it happen and you are more powerful then you think. Don’t wait any longer. The time is now. You are enough.”

Here is to beauty and magic, and a year of special moments and wonder.

Posted in Healing, Manifesting, Oracle Cards

A New Years message for all of us

The new year is a great time for checking in with the oracle, and to see what the cards have to say. Really any time is a great time when you seek clarity, a little guidance or simply just try to make sense of daily life occurrences such as it was in my case. This message comes form the sacred rebels deck from Alana Fairchild and as always the message was clear and precise. So clear indeed that I felt it could apply to many of us. Us who are tired, who are so hopeful, and us who could use a little extra help right now. So I decided to dedicate this card to all of us and I hope you can embrace it as a precious gift, knowing that better times are coming very soon. Prepare yourself for it will be knocking on your door. It is time for some good news, so let’s inspire and lift each other, empower and support each other, and even lean and rest in each other for awhile.

The main title and meaning of the card was “Faith in the process” and here is a detailed look at the description from Alana Fairchild.

No matter how powerful we are, how much courage and strength we have, there are times when we can’t quite move ourselves along to the next phase of life or creative exploration. At such times we need some divine intervention, a little help in pulling our trolley along, so to speak. When we were at the edge of our own limits and have no personal resources, we might be left with only one spiritual power, that of faith. Fortunately that is enough.

As unlikely as it may seem, the invisible help from the universe is often more powerful than the physical effort of 1000 men. That is because the invisible help is not limited by physical laws. It can shift, bend and move in ways that defy limitations. It can affect, evoke and influence situations through invisible, but undeniably persuasive means.

You are in a situation where you cannot set right the course of event all by yourself. This is not an indication that you have done something wrong, nor does it suggested you are not strong enough. It is a sign that there is something bigger unfolding in your life and your willpower will be supplemented by the power of life itself. Sometimes a bigger plan needs to manifest for the benefit of humanity and the earth. You need to shift your perspective to realize that you are part of the greater unfoldment of life, that your individual life serves the greater plan and that you are not separate from it’s genius. This is what is happening now. You happen to be instrumental to the greater plan and as such, you need to accept your position and be moved, while also being empowered and protected as you make personal progress through your role in the grander scheme.

This is a time for humility and trust. You need complete faith in the process and events that are happening. There’s nothing to worry about, you will be moved most fully and easily, and with the most Grace and Assistance, through your faithful surrender. Ironically, it is through complete surrender, in total faith, that we become the most empowered. When we are no longer trying to impede the perfection of the greater plan, we can be aligned with and move by the process. Having faith in the benevolence of life, rather than harboring the suspicion that life is seeking to catch us out, have a joke at our expense or carelessly toss us about as though we mean nothing, then we can relax a little. Having faith in the process gives you space to be curious about what is taking place and to relax enough to be open to what we are most in need of, even if we aren’t exactly sure what it is or how it can happen. The guidance from the oracle comes direct from the greater source of life itself. There is now an opportunity for you to be moved from the situation you are currently in, to the next chapter in your life story. You can’t do it on your own. It is too big a shift. It needs the grace of life to intervene on your behalf.

You will need faith though you may feel as though the wheels of your trolley are coming off or that they are a bit rickety, but you must also understand that the voice of life is now coming straight to your heart with this message:

“I have resources you know not of. It is safe to trust in my ways and my wisdom, for I love you and I’m guiding you into all that is rightfully yours. Know that was is rightfully yours is what your heart truly desires and you need not fear loss. Nothing that is meant to come to you will be denied and it is safe for you to let go and allow me to move you.”

Through faith, peace is restored and you are able to know, and perhaps have some fun in the process.

Healing process – Say aloud

“I now asked that all disappointing experiences of the past that have led me to believe that life is not trustworthy or that faith is a silly or immature way to deal with life, be released from my mind, body and heart. I ask for help to except it I can and will attract all that is needed into my life, at the perfect time and in the perfect way. I asked to be empowered to absolutely receive all that can assist me with gratitude and without shame or guilt. In doing so, I dedicate myself to be a clear, loving, open channel for the flow of life. I know the benefit in doing so is not limited to me, but will flow so that life can benefit others through me. I trust in this now, through unconditional love, so be it.”

You have completed your healing process. If needed, repeat the above prayer each day to help boost your confidence that everything can and will sort itself out, whether you feel in control or not. In fact, it can do so more easily when you don’t feel in control.

Namaste my friends 🙏🏼

Posted in Holidays, Inspiration

New Year’s wishes and quotes

We finally waived goodbye to the dreaded year that is 2020 and I actually stayed up until midnight. There was no celebration on TV and the square in New York was empty per strict orders.

I don’t even know why I stayed up to be honest with you and the later it got the grumpier I got, like a child that had missed their bedtime. All of a sudden it’s not that important anymore to ring in the new year and sleep seems more important. Priorities shift, we age, perhaps it was the exhaustion from recent events, the circumstances, how and with who I was welcoming the New Year. As far as the “with who” goes, it seemed contradicting and fake to wish a happy new year when so much of 2020 was filled with truly difficult moments.

Today is the first day of 2021 and many of us have set new goals and a new year’s resolutions we hope to achieve and follow through in the year. Whatever your aspirations, here are a few quotes and New Years wishes that might resonate with you.

“In our perfect ways. In the ways we are beautiful. In the ways we are human. We are here. Happy New Year’s. Let’s make it ours.” -Beyoncé

“Kindness, kindness, kindness. I want to make a New Years prayer, not a resolution. I’m praying for courage.” -Susan Sontag

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” -Taylor Swift

“For last years words belong to last years language. And next years words await another voice.” -T.S. Eliot

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” -William Shakespeare

“The beginning is the most important part of the work.” -Plato

“No matter how hard the past is, you can always begin again.” -Jack Kornfield

Maybe one or two of these speak to you, but I hope you have a saying of your own and you are marching to your own drumbeat. As the beginning is the most important part of the work like Plato says, the first step in the journey is also the most important one I say. It doesn’t matter the outcome, and sometimes you might view yourself having lost and failed, but maybe you remember that there was a lesson to be learned.

Regardless of the outcome, I think the importance is that you took that step, that crucial first step. That you found the courage to give it a go. That you poured yourself into your hopes and dreams and went for it. Now go out there and celebrate your new opportunities, they all start today. Be safe, aware, awakened and relentless in the pursuit of anything that sets your soul on fire.

Posted in Inspiration, Life

An honest look back

As the hours are ticking away, I am taking an honest look at 2020, the year many can’t wait to put behind themselves in the hope for a new beginning, and a better year to come along.

Today on this last day of the year I notice an exhaustion, mentally and physically that has settled into my body. I am tired and perhaps it should stay as simple as that. Nothing more and nothing less, and still I want to recall the challenges and lessons of 2020, as well as the successes to justify that there is something more and an actual reason as to why I am feeling tired, even downright depressed at times. So let’s begin.

2020 brought with itself a huge focus on the health front for me. More than ever I was determined of feeling better, which meant living with less chronic disease pain. I was tired of feeling sick and tired, to hurt and have a lousy quality of life. I didn’t want to go on like that. I was going to be more than just a statistic. I was going to change my stars, get stronger and healthier.

I did a lot of energy self healing and Reiki for myself and others. It was a huge part of maintaining a healthier balance. It was a stepping stone that fueled my passion for more.

I started juicing and up’ed my vegetable and fruit intake while cutting back on carbs. I lost 20lbs so far which in prior attempts had always seemed impossible. Now, my body was craving the shakes, literally thanking me with a better and more consistent performance. It was like a sweet partnership, taking care of each other.

I up’ed my step goal per day and with increased health and mobility became more active.

Physically, I pushed myself to strenuous hikes that I had put off for years and years. Mainly because there was no way of achieving them before. Was it a piece of cake now? No, and you wouldn’t believe how many times I was near quitting, but I pushed through, I did it and I made it, resulting in sweet victory and new sights. Man oh man is Mother Nature and our planet beautiful. Physically I have achieved more then I have in younger years, and believe me it is a great feeling while aging and naturally declining.

2020 has also been a year of spiritual growth and maturity. A year of coming into my own, reevaluating and recognizing what is truly important, making peace with the past, going more with the flow and simply surrendering without interference to what is. It was a year of shedding old programming and systems that were never mine to begin with. I realized that there isn’t always an answer to the events in our lives, and that we can live an easier one loosening the reigns of control a little. 2020 taught many lessons under the umbrella of worries and fear, especially on the financial front. Trying to figure “it”, that daunting “it” that is so encompassing out, so the future can unfold as it is meant to be. While it is work in progress, I do my best to trust and believe in the process, no matter how scary it gets, and despite who understands and who doesn’t. This also applies to some of the following paragraph’s.

After all I haven’t worked, earning an income in nearly 3 years, and I pride myself that I, myself has made it, never dependent on anyone. Mom would be proud of that, having raised me to always fend for myself, being responsible and hard working all of my life. I have not missed any financial obligation or had to rely on someone else.

The jobless adventure started leaving for Germany for 10 months in 2018 to care for Mom, and again in 2019 for another 3 months. The last 3 years have been filled with fighting stress, illness and bodily debilitation. Luckily with money saved to fall back onto, but also on a frugal budget with no room for luxuries or just going on a shopping spree, I gave my body the precious gift of healing while acknowledging it’s every whim. Yeah I do miss the splurges, but I tell myself that it is the price for my current lifestyle and that that new wardrobe will be a reward once I lose the additional pounds I still want to lose. So it’s not all that bad.

2020 was a year of still heavily mourning the loss of Mom who passed the end of 2019. More losses followed in 2020, with more family loss and once who were close friends and soul connections I thought would last a lifetime.

Hey, I did finally opened that Etsy shop and did a lot of creative stuff. I even made some sales and learned a lot on the homeopathic front which further was a building block in my journey. This was a welcome diversion to bury my thoughts and emotions into a more positive aspect.

2020 claimed my long locks and I cut my hair much shorter. I miss my hair at times but not the work and care that was associated with it. I stopped coloring it, accepting the becoming of a grey fox and a healthier approach, lol, and for the most part I am ok with it. Maybe 2021 will be a year to reinvent myself once more. Whatever direction that might take, and I know there will be a few.

2020 has been a year of downsizing material bliss/burdens. I donated bag after bag and the load is getting lighter as I situate myself for a “less is more” future.

2020 brought my Cinnamon girl, unplanned and unexpected, with not the best timing, but also such a big blessing. As if she came into my life to personally help me through some tough times. I think I know who sent her and why she is here. Although she is part of the reason I am tired lol. She needs playtime and exercise, walks and care that take time away from everything I need to do, but it keeps me active which is a good thing too. I’ve had her 2 months now and we have been battling allergies, worms and still balding spots on her coat as she is adjusting from a feral fur child to a pampered life.

Today I could have used a break although I love our time dearly, and my bones were hurting during our walk. Perhaps it is the weather changing and the snow that fell overnight. Overall it reminds me that I am doing much better with the barometer drops. While there is some pain and pressure at times, I didn’t experience the many occasions I could barely walk, like I have in the past.

I do love that I can always somehow focus on the silver lining, always seeing the good within the challenges, always looking for the lesson and always being grateful for what is, for I have experienced far worse far too many times before.

2020 brought many new WordPress followers and we have crossed the 3000 mark. I have met so many wonderful, like minded and unique souls on here and each one of you is brightening my life on a daily basis. Thank you and bless you kindly, for reading, commenting and simply being you even when I am absent at times and don’t get to you right away. 🙏🏼

2020 has left me pondering about the future, my future and where I see myself in the coming years. Torn between two countries, a house inherited in Germany, and prior upholding the dreams and wishes of loved ones, putting my own last, I think I finally know where I belong and where I will live and pursue my own dreams.

2020 was a year of personal challenges and immense struggles on the Homefront, as a married person on paper, a roommate, often just being tolerated while still living under the same roof. Not all of it has been bad but the majority has been from knowing each other for 26 years. 15 bad ones to be exact. It’s something I haven’t brought to the blog and it’s usually something I don’t talk about. It’s complex and seldom does anyone understands. Not even myself at times, but like with everything there are reasons and I am tired there too, tired of fighting to be understood. Yes it even has cost me a lifelong friendship. I will most likely write and talk more about it in the future as life can’t go on the way it has. How quickly will it all change…I have no answer as everything is unfolding, but I feel the change, the end and I will need to vent from time to time. It is costing me my sanity and health at the moment as everything has escalated beyond tolerable and respectful measures. There is nothing left and I have reached the point where I need to save myself.

I recognize the reasons as to why I feel mentally and physically exhausted. Just like the land lies dormant during the winter, nurturing itself in stillness, awaiting new life in spring, I too have to turn inward and tend to myself. I need to utilize this time of dormancy with self care so new life can blossom when springtime arrives. I am standing at the crossroads of change and the edge of forever. A new book is opening tomorrow, 365 blank pages with a new year and I hope to make more happy entries vs. the sad and bad ones. It will get ugly before it gets better but that’s my story and my warrior path for now.

Posted in Inspiration, Travel, words


It’s time for a new word and I am changing new word Monday to new word week. I made the decision based on rescheduling this segment a few times over the past weeks due to holidays and other events. I still like to continue this series, but from now on it will post during the week, on no set day. The only segment that will remain in a set schedule are Sunday’s Reiki healings at 7 PM PST to allow you time to tune in.

Today’s word reminds me of one of my passions.

Hodophile (n) one who loves to travel.

I am definitely a Hodophile and exploring new places brings out my inner child. The voice changes, there are gleeful sounds emerging from a place deep within, which remembers wonder and joy. It’s an exciting time for me, a time of gratefulness simply being allowed to experience that particular moment. It wakes my sense of exploration and adventure and it has given me wings in the past to master a few challenging hikes. It’s like the adrenaline carries me, utilizing strengths reserves I didn’t know I had. Nothing is like seeing an amazing place for the first time, especially through the eyes of wonder.

Posted in Inspiration, Life, Moon

Full Moon in Cancer

As Santa returns to the North Pole, the year 2020 is coming to an end with the last full moon of the year. It’s the full moon in cancer, my own astrology sign, and I can’t help but take the message of this full moon personal as if it was written for me. It’s a great message to end the year, and fact is that we all are in need of a great message to welcome 2021 restored, with open arms, and a glimmer of hope and a twinkle in our eyes.

According this last full moon is bringing spectacular blessings and soul renewals. The full moon in cancer will create the most magnificent energy for freeing yourself from the past. What an amazing way to close the year and tie up loose ends. The moon cycle marks the birth of your new life and the manifestation of new dreams. Your spirit will be renewed, your divine connection enhanced. Life comes full circle!

Get excited my friends, the universe is smiling upon each and every one of us and this is what we’ve been waiting for.