Hello Vacation

It’s Saturday morning and I’m officially on vacation. I could get used to the feeling and it’s been awhile since I was off on a Saturday. It’s usually the busiest day in retail and for sure the loudest, which seems like a little extra reason to enjoy the peace and quiet of this morning. In other words, I’m feeling pretty good right now and I can’t complain. There are still a few chores to take care of before my departure to Germany in the wee hours, or in the middle of the night at midnight when I have to get up, to be more accurate. But for now I’m in no hurry and I’m thoroughly enjoying just sitting here and making the blog a priority. These blissful moments have been overshadowed with the tasks of the previous weeks and have been truly rare. I called Mom yesterday, as promised I told her that I would check in before I leave. I guess she thought I was coming home on Tuesday and stated that she has a doctors appointment on Monday. She said that she can’t walk and for a moment it crossed my mind that she might be admitted into the hospital while I’m there. “Well you have a key to the house” she finally said in the same breath as “Anything else new” came across her lips. Nope, just calling before I see you on Monday. “Ok” she replies with a kind of meh, whatever attitude. “Is that it, aren’t you excited that I’m coming home” I ask to get some emotion, some response from her. “No” she says and repeats it’s a second time with a little chuckle, after I ask her if she is serious. Is this your way of joking I wonder as her initial response hits me right in the heart and I feel a deep disappointment creep up, filling me with a mixture of hurt and anger. Worst part is that I don’t even know if my own mother is trying to crack a cruel joke she thinks is funny or if this is really the truth. Well that ought to be interesting if this is how she feels, because I’m super stoked about using my entire vacation I worked so hard for to come home to be subjected to this kind of attitude. It’s the anger and disappointment speaking and in the end, I’m sure she is excited, but I don’t care to play games. Personally, I don’t need it and I feel a bit of sadness rising as well as anxiety to aggravate the RA. Sadness for her, and that she can’t jump over her own shadow of unresolved feelings that remain a foreign affair to her. To give into the bitterness of maintaining the tough facade in an effort to protect herself and keep the pain away. I can’t live like that, but I kept my mouth shut. I can’t afford to start my time with her on the wrong foot, it’s limited and it would take all days to coax her out of her stubborn shell. Yet, it’s not fair to me as I need time for myself in the fight against my health and I know it. We will see what happens Monday afternoon once I arrive. She will always be my mother and I love her, but sometimes she is also simply impossible and the struggle is real. 

Another worry for another day, closer to my time getting there. Are we there yet? I’m sure this will be on my mind since more than 24 hours will have passed until the approximate time that I arrive at my Mom’s house. The thought alone made this morning extra special as I snuggled a little extra before getting up and enjoyed the sun rays finding their way through the cracked blinds. I left the window open last night, and you can definitely feel the seasons change with fall approaching quickly. The air felt cool and crisp as I marveled in those moments knowing that they would be the last for awhile. I felt grateful to be within my own four walls and the feeling of comfort they provided. 

The heavy weight contender, (the suitcase) weighed in at 46 pounds yesterday and I made it just under the 50 pound weight limit. Time to throw a few extra pieces into it, right, lol. This will be the first year I imagine renting a luggage cart at the airport. Not because of extra suitcases, but because I’m not sure how the RA will allow me to handle everything. I started the steroids two days ago and it’s too early to tell if there is relief or not. There is usually such an adrenaline rush while I’m at work, that it allows me to work through the pain on the majority of days, but by the end of my shift I’m spent and tired. The fatigue that is associated with RA is a different battle all together. Weather and low pressure systems are also a factor and it will be interesting to see how Germany will impact such. Elevation is lower as my home here in the mountains but the storms and rain is more frequent. Therefore Germany is very green in appearance. 

In a little while I will finish packing the carry-on and my backpack, pay the last bills, schedule everything to be taken care of in my absence, water the plants, etc. and bring “The Pony” back to the repair shop. The issues from a few weeks ago with her stalling is resolved, but the opposite is happening now with her idling too high, especially with the air conditioning on. She often drives by herself without any need of depressing the gas petal and I hope to get this and a tune up taken care of while I’m in Germany. 

I probably manage another little post later and hope to catch up on your words, while saying goodbye as Wifi will be sporadic and I’m planning on it to be non existing while I’m gone. But in the meantime I will share a picture of previous memories that flashed on Facebook this morning. It’s a few years old and pictures Meiss Meadow from my neighborhood in Sierra Nevada’s, my beautiful mountains.

Have a beautiful weekend everyone. 

Hugs xoxoxo 💙🦋

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Burning Man

Burning Man is a annual event located in the Black Rock Desert not too far from my house. Each year people from all over the world pay hundreds, even thousands of dollars to participate and enter in the festivities of Hope, Faith, Love and Forgiveness. Burning Man is filled with art and creativity while offering acceptance to everyone without judgement for who you are, how you dress, your wildest dreams and/or your vivid imagination. If you can dream it up, Burning Man is a place to make it a reality. Burning Man is the ultimate party and celebration of a year long preparation of elaborate rides and statues galore. My town showcases recent Burning Man Statues, displayed throughout the city and it’s pretty neat. I recently came across one such elaborate ride with Michigan lisence plates and I can’t help but wonder about the journey and the stories this vessel must have seen.

 

Hummingbird – Spirit Animal

It was during our last backpacking trip to Winnemucca Lake, that I spotted a beautiful patch of blooming wildflowers. The color was so vibrant that it stood out against the rest of the scenery. Located quiet a bit higher than the waters edge, a giant boulder was right in the middle of this amazing color display. My curiosity was peaked and determined I set out to make it to the rock. After a little bushwhacking, I was there, sitting surrounded by the flowers, in the sweet smell of bliss. I was immediately still watching the water below me in silence, taking in the beautiful mountains across from me, while feeling that I had found my own unique place of peace and serenity. A flutter passed right by me, towards the display of beautiful magenta colored flowers. It’s quick, precise movement startled me initially, until I made out a tiny, beautiful little hummingbird that stopped by to visit. Flapping it’s tiny wings at speeds the human eye was unable to make out, there he was right in front of me, suspended and floating effortlessly through the air while drinking the sweet nectar from flower to flower. Click, click, click, I needed to get a picture of this unusual little friend, but it proved to be a bigger challenge than I imagined. As soon as I locked focus, he moved to the next flower, which repeated in quick successions. Eventually I got one that would turn into my best effort and it would have to do. I felt grateful being allowed to visit this special little display and I was anxious to learn about the spiritual meaning of the hummingbird. 

Here is what I learned…

When a hummingbird flutters into your life, it might be a reminder to enjoy the simple things in life. To be more present and INDEPENDENT. Hummingbird helps lift negativity and is swift to respond. It might be a tiny bird but it is resilient and able to travel great distances. A reminder that strengths can often be found in the tiniest of packages and that mind over matter definitely has a good chance at winning. We are never know what we are capable of, until we have to be strong. Prepare to be amazed when it does happen. 

Hummingbird is a reminder to take joy in the simple pleasures and to enjoy yourself. A symbol of encouragement, to open your heart and express yourself more to joy and love. Are you ready to become who you are meant to be? There was once a time when you used to dream big. What happened to all these dreams? Just know that there is still another version of yourself who didn’t give up on those dreams. Hummingbird is here to remind you that it is never too late to make your dreams a reality. 
Xoxo 💙🦋

Not ready to go…

This is going to be a short funny and hopefully I will find a few of you who think this is amusing. I can think of at least one person and so I’m dedicating this post to my dear friend Linda, her funny Guest in Jest series that posts every week and is filled with funnies, sure to make you smile. Of course the ultimate decision will be hers of whether there is room for this post and there is no pressure to include it. I couldn’t ask for anything more than your smile and if you haven’t stopped by her lovely blog, please do yourself a favour and get acquainted with this funny dragon tamer. 🐉

The story starts with a little bit of an intro of what you should know to understand the circumstances. Yes I’m planning of fully humiliating myself so you can have the best laughter possible. On my account of course. I have a patio door leading to the backyard that is located just off the kitchen. It’s in a huge room that is known as the game room, and it is filled with a bar (imagine that I don’t drink), a soccer table, pool table/ping pong table (yes, I used to play like Forest Gump and have the trophys to show for), a dart board, a pup table and…I think that’s it. Few games go on in that room these days, but the pup table in front of the sliding door for sure sees the most action since I usually write there or paint in that room. There is a small wooden deck that oversees the rest of the yard, and it’s a place to house a small patio set with a table, two chairs and an umbrella. Further there is a grill, a little water feature and of course the large flower box that is now serving as “Dirty Jakes’s” – (squirrel) feeding ground. 

It was early in the morning and the sun was out in full force. A bright and cheery glow filled the room as I stepped into the kitchen to prepare my cup of joe. The aroma of the brewing coffee filled the house as I stepped towards the pub table to set a few things down. And then it happened and I didn’t even know what it was that I saw. A shadow in front of the still drawn curtains from the slider stopped me dead in my tracks. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest, my eyes opened in horror and so did my mouth, except not a peep emerged in this silent scream. I even side stepped awkwardly while trying to back away and luckily the coffee was still brewing. It would have spilled for sure if I had it in my hands and it was one of those moments when you see  something that scares the living daylights out of you before your mind can even wrap itself around what it is you are even seeing. Catching my breath, my first initial thought was that the grim reaper was on my patio waiting to take me away. Or maybe it was a member of the KKK. Luckily it was neither (relief), and it took a moment to figure out that this visitor would return over and over on other sunny days and at the same time. I’m used to it by now and it even makes me laugh, but that first intial scare still has my heart pounding and all I can say is “Darn Umbrella” got a good one on me and had me believing that my time had come. 

When feathers appear

Do you see feathers along your path or in unusual places? You might consider and entertain the thought that it is a message from the universe. I have collected many over the years, ranging from different colors to different sizes. There is a meaning to each color and it is said that when a feather crosses your path, a loved one is watching over you and your guardian angel is near. What a beautiful thought, so the next time you find a feather on your path, remember that you’re not alone. 

“When feathers appear, angels are near”

Warp speed

Time is racing for me lately and it’s hard to believe that I will be boarding the big one (plane) on Sunday. High above the clouds I will find myself en route to Germany and already I can picture it in my mind. I hope that time slows a bit once I’m there and that it won’t pass in the blink of an eye. I’m taking a little journal to record the days, to use it for entries, pictures and special moments. I might even be able to convince my little nieces to write something in it for me. It will become one of a kind, a special keepsake. Kind of like a poetry book I once had in school. It was meant to be passed around form every schoolmate to every teacher and two pages were dedicated to the person you had given it too. One page would hold a picture or drawing of some sort while the opposite page was filled with a handwritten poem and well wishes for your future. I still have mine tucked away in a special place in Germany and I’m sure I will dig it out once I’m home. I have done so each time and for the most part it is my Dad’s poem that I revisit. I know it by heart but I have to touch the pages and the writing of the pen that once was gliding across the paper to leave these beautiful heartfelt markings. To this day his words touch my heart and I never swayed from his advice. Today was pretty much my last day off and my vacation starts on Saturday. These last days are filled with work and errands, notes and reminders scratched on paper. Here and there one might get scratched out, and I manage to steal time for this blog and staying connected somewhat. I had my appointment with the rheumatologist last week. It was a wake up call to sit in the waiting room. Most people were older than me, but in bad shape. Walking on crutches, all I had to do is look at their swollen knuckles and I could relate to their pain without a word being necessary. Some were hunched over and unable to stand up straight, others needed help, each one with the same pain in their eyes. My heart sank, for them and the pain that must be endured with such an ugly disease. Was this my future I wondered, already there in some respects but still feeling strong to fight and not letting it become my destiny. How foolish to think that I had any choice in this matter. I’m sure that the people in the waiting room weren’t happy about their circumstances either. Perhaps they once felt the same as I did, putting up the best fight possible and the ugly disease still won. Once again the oracle card came to mind and I remembered. Rock Bottom – surrender and let go of all control. Don’t fight it, but be prepared for a new start. It was in that moment that I let go. I surrendered and let myself fall, unafraid and I just knew that my faith would catch me. Later on that day I sent the email and declined the chance of promoting. 

The doctor was a nurse practitioner and I liked her. She listened to all my symptoms, carefully noting them and ordering a barrage of tests. She wasn’t going to prescribe anything until the test results were in and I already like her. She listened to my vantage points about pharmaceuticals and I told her about my fear of the long trip to Germany. In the end she asked me and prescribed steroids just in case things got worse and to hold the disease at bay until I get back. I have not started taking them and I should to let them kick in, but I have also started to take something natural and I guess I’m still hoping to see a difference there. Since my rheumatologist visit, I’ve been running around to get my hands and wrists x-rayed and for a moment I feared that she would tell me that I can’t write anymore. Today I finally managed to to get my blood work done. It took two attempts, (who know these tests are only performed Monday through Thursday and have to be done before 11 AM…further wasted time) 11 different tests, and 7 vials of blood. Plus an arm and a leg as far as the cost. Now it’s time to wait and see if there will be answers and what comes next. 

I have been talking about the seriousness of my trip to Germany, but I also believe that it will be a lot different this time. I feel I have grown in many ways, but mostly in my spiritual journey and feeling firsthand that things can change in an instance. I feel that there is an even deeper appreciation and sense of wonder, something unlike anything I felt before. Good has come from the RA, even though it’s been painful, but it has stretched me even further. It helped me listen to myself, to put myself first and to finally find the courage to follow through. To take a stand for myself and to say that this is not how I see my future. To make whatever time is left count, for we never know how much time is left. It helped me become more appreciative, to pause even more, and to truly try to live life vs. existing. I want more these days than just to exist, and I have a hunger that is being redirected towards what should have always mattered the most. The difference now is that I CAN DO IT and I’m not tied down with financial responsibilities. So in going home, I know that I will breath deeper than I ever have before. And so it is that although some things are daunting and downright scary, my soul will nourish as it returns back home. 

And while I would tell you to never say never, I painted this one during a time when I believed that certain things don’t need to be repeated. Do not be taken a fool, ever again, to not allow being taken advantage of or taken for granted. It comes full circle even more so and the meaning of it continues to grow. It is sealed with my fingerprint in the flower petals, vowing to be strong and to…. Never again. 🦋💙

Groomed for disaster

You could say that I had a great career, I made it in a strange country other than where I grew up and success always followed me no matter what position I held. For the majority of my working years, I have been in upper management, executing company direction, recruiting talent, as well as inspiring and developing such to move up the corporate ladder. I have held a career many would aspire towards and at times their drive to attain what they envisioned as “power” was poisoned with jealousy and envy. Today I realize that the meaning of success depends highly on your take of what a great, successful career is. These days, I would give you a much different definition of success and what it means to me now. It has little to do with status and prestige. It’s not a matter of power and control, even though there will always be those who enjoy superiority over others. I never have, but I enjoyed making a difference for people, being a mentor and being in a position that allowed me to help others achieve their goals by making them come true. Those have truly been some of the happiest moments in my career and what has made it all worthwhile. 

Today I would also tell you that the higher you climb the corporate ladder, the lonelier it get’s. Not all tops have a beautiful view and I have seen the corporate world turn corrupt with greed and a never satisfied hunger to outperform prior performances. To do and expect more with less as I can’t help but wonder where the work-life balance is. It’s missing and more stress is added. Should I be surprised of how many suffer and are sick, how many may never have the quality of life to enjoy retirement, given they reach it age wise or are able to retire financially. It’s not normal that we force ourselves to perform at such levels and you can’t tell me that there are no consequences to pay for it. By now, you have probably noticed how passionate I am about this subject, because I do believe that there is more to life and some key drivers are education, encouragement and choice. If you can do it for awhile, save up and get out, do it. If you are good at it and can make a career of it, go for it but keep an eye on the years. I did it for too long.

Recent events forced me to take a look back at how it all came to be. There was a time I had no choice but to promote. I blame it on my work ethic as it was always what got me noticed. Pretty soon I was in special classes, finding myself groomed to take on additional responsibilities. I never turned down a promotion and I have always moved up. Whether it was due to needing the extra income, or simply not being able to get out of it, because after all, you’d be weird if you didn’t want to promote or have some goals of moving up, right? How could you not have aspirations and how could you not want to brag about status and compete with the next person. You’d be simply boring, lacking enthusiasm and drive. End of story, nobody would ever relate to this. I always promoted and I always worked my tail off, simply because I don’t know how to give anything less than a 100%. 

The RA has forced my work habits into surrender these days and I can’t work like I used to in my twenties anymore. I probably wouldn’t be able to either way, with or without the RA. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to join TAP, a Talent acquisition program, designed for the next level, ready to promote. I agreed and felt honored and appreciated, I truly was. It is a great feeling when your hard work doesn’t goes unnoticed and your talent is appreciated. Much of the prep for the upcoming program was smooth and familiar, filled with prior experiences, it felt like an old, familiar routine. And then it hit me and who was I kidding? The timing for this could have not been more off, and it might as well never be right again for me. Was it ever, I wonder? There is much to anticipate in Germany that might occupy my mind in more important means than a new career. It already does either way and whether I’m here or there, the facts remain the same. A part of me is very appreciative, while the rest of me feels like I have been there and done it. I was thinking of my Rock Bottom Oracle card. True freedom is attained only through complete surrender. My interpretation means to move aside and to let new, young talent emerge and take the reigns who are still interested in building a career. I wonder what my future was going to be health-wise, adding more stress to the mix while I’m trying so hard to eliminate it! While I struggle already and sometimes don’t know how to face the day! Isn’t my body already trying to tell me what I need to know? Days went by and I felt guilty of letting my boss down. I waited, instead of making a hasty decision, but nothing changed. Instead more news came and I realized how truly needed I am in Germany. Ultimately there is no doubt that I need to go home. The “eventually” (going home) has turned into a “ASAP”, pressed with a urgency as time is running out to truly make this happen. 

My heart continued to feel heavy each time I passed by the training package on the dinning room table. The joy and excitement I should have felt about promoting was largely overshadowed by the unknown and a future that needs to unfold on its own vs. being controlled in ways it is not meant to be. Finally, I made a decision and wrote a thank you email in honor and appreciation, but also in declining the offer of moving forward at this time. For the first time in my career, I felt that I had a choice and that I didn’t have to go through with something that wasn’t a fit. I’m not saying that it’s not a fit, but timing is everything. Money didn’t matter anymore and was definitely not forcing me into something I didn’t want to do. I was in control of dedicating my time, to pursue my passions, for as much as possible and to reconnect during times of solitude. I had a choice, and a wild choice it was. One that took courage and one that made me stand up for what is right for me. One that I will always remember and one that allowed me to become the architect of my own life. Will it always be this way, I don’t know, but if I can help it, YES, because let me tell you, it felt pretty darn good afterwards. A huge burden was lifted to focus on the things that need my foremost attention and the effort of keeping stress at bay. There still is plenty to come working in retail over the holidays, haha. 

The face of relief and enjoying a wild moment with Mother Nature and getting caught in the rain. Money can’t buy this…..

Reflect

We all can use a little reflection from time to time and this one seems fitting for today’s date. 

The paintings of my life

I started painting roughly 10 years ago. I always enjoyed arts and crafts and the process of creation, but I never explored it on the levels of painting acrylic on canvas. In fact, I never really painted much at all. Looking back to my childhood, I remember coloring books and enjoying the soothing effects they had on my soul during those peaceful hours spent, getting lost in the process of adding color to the shapes and outlines of the pages. Those times have long past and occasionally I manage  to pull out the adult coloring books, even though it happens rarely.

I recall a point when my life changed, seemingly overnight. I hit a rough patch and had just said goodbye to one of my beloved dogs. You have to understand that I share a deep connection to all animals and pets become family, often living better then some people. I felt lost and the pain seemed unbearable at the time, threatening to rip my heart apart, I just couldn’t get over. I don’t know how it came to be, but I started to paint. It was an outlet, a form of expression while bringing me the same kind of peace that I had felt as a child, engaged in my coloring books. The process itself was much different than the one prior and this time it was me who was creating my own images. There was no need to stay within the controlled lines even though some had outlines, others didn’t and were flowing freely. It was relief, as if my soul poured out into whatever it was that I was painting at the time. To this day I can look at each one of my paintings and feel a personal connection. They tell the story of my journey and remind me that beautiful things are often born out of adversity. Talents are discovered as well as passions and a distraction to help us cope. A gentle soul, someone that is easily moved on an emotional level, the strong warriors that walk among us, the ones wise beyond their years, they all have seen a great deal of adversity and pain and they all have a story to tell.

I feel the call from time to time when I haven’t painted in awhile. Almost as if another painting is due, and another chapter is closing. There is a thirst for the feeling and the exploration of discovering new things. It starts with an idea and with a choice of what speaks to me. I miss it right now and painting has become such a beautiful and rewarding aspect. Much has happened since my last painting and after Germany I will make it a priority to paint whatever calls me.

I came across this video from Jim Carrey and it spoke to my heart. I relate to his words and his need for color in life. It also reminded me of myself and I believe that art should always portray what moves the artist. While there is no wrong or right in artistry, there must be heart and like with anything and without heart there is no enjoyment and no connection. It’s also something that I love to advise new writers on. The ones that correct and revise their body of work a hundred times in order to get it right. I’ve done it myself and you will drive yourself crazy. You see, it’s not always the perfection that matters, but the heart and the soul that is conveyed and shines through your words. How could this ever be wrong?

 

Here are a few of my paintings and their titles. All of them signified challenging times, but there are funny ones within the collection for another post. 😉

“Feeling blue”

“The strings of my heart”

“Chasing love”

Rock Bottom – or is it now?

It’s been a few weeks ago that I drew a new oracle card. I was wondering what guidance and insight the deck would have for me at this point of my journey, as I carefully removed the cards from their silk satchel. I was ready for another card and felt the anxiety building within. I have done several readings for myself by now including a few for friends. Of course you could find skeptics who don’t believe in this sort of thing and might think the descriptions are vague or could be fitting for a variety of scenarios. Most likely it is also the same kind of people you won’t find owning an oracle or tarot deck, and that is ok. For myself, I have to say that I have grown quite found of my oracle deck “The enchanted map” by Colette Baron-Reid. I have felt a special connection right form the beginning, and have chosen to believe in the signs and the wisdom the cards hold for me. It’s hard to explain what it mean when I say that I felt a special connection, and it’s something that has to be experienced and felt from person to person. It’s definitely not a one fits all, but when it does, it’s quite incredible. Every card I have drawn so far was right on (for myself and others) with almost an spooky kind of accuracy, not that there is anything scary about it. I promise you become a believer when the cards outline your current situation and you find relevance to your life in their meaning. The cards are a tool, a guide that may point to answers and resolutions, a chance to ponder or evoke a new thought process otherwise not considered. You might entertain a different point of view altogether. Further, for me there remains a healthy respect for the deck and the spiritual experience they bring while shuffling the cards. There is a little nervousness, but it is one that is of good nature and doesn’t have to be feared. 

This time was no different and I started shuffling my cards. I held the deck for a moment and stopped once I felt that my card had found it’s way to the top. There it was, still face down, waiting to be turned over, revealed and viewed by only me. I took one last deep breath, grabbed the card and turned it to face me. I briefly looked at the graphic, unaware, as my eyes quickly scanned the name of the card…. #10. Rock Bottom 

I would lie to say that it didn’t scare the wits out of me at first sight. I felt my heart pound and sink at the same time. My first reaction was frightful as countless thoughts raced through my brain. Rock Bottom a turn prior known for having hit the lowest of lows, how could drawing this card be a good thing? I starred at it for a moment and another deep breath followed. Finally, I began reading the generic description of the card, there was no backing out now and here is what it claimed. 
“Surrender and acceptance are the keys to freedom.”
As difficult as it may be to accept, it seems that you’ve reached a point where you can go no further in the same manner in which you’ve been doing things. Perhaps you’ve hit a proverbial brick wall, or experienced a deep sense of loss and don’t know where to turn. The old way of doing things must be discarded fully in order to move onward and upward. A new direction and a new strategy are called for. The only way out is through surrender. Accept things as they are, and admit that you have no idea what to do next. If you wait in that heartfelt moment of release, then a stairway will appear, like magic, and all manner of synchronicities will show you the way to higher ground. The Rock Bottom card is a sign that a miracle is about to occur, but only if you let go completely.

Needless to say I got passed my initial scare and the card became much more comforting. I went a step further and researched the card meaning online. It was said that this card was actually the barer of a quite positive message and in no way had it to do with the worst state of one’s life. It made reference to a snake shedding its skin and a caterpillar going into its cocoon. Metamorphosis all over again, urging me to shed the old and welcoming the new. Emerging a sleeker self and blossoming into a beautiful butterfly. Receiving is key as well as releasing old fears. Sometimes the fear of the unknown keeps us sticking around, unable to take advantage of the bountiful beautiful life that is all around us. We stay in the safety of what we know while we compromise and prolong, sometimes even give up the life that is meant for us. We don’t see the abundance in the opportunities and stay within our safe rut. 

It was talking about de cluttering ones space to prepare for the miracles that are about to come. (A constant mission of mine with too slow and too little progress, due to too little time, working full-time and being tired). Donating and getting rid of unnecessary things that block the flow of energy, basically the things that no longer serve me. It is barely simple how I come to that conclusion these days. Just try it with me and pick up anything in your house and hold the item. Look at it and ask yourself if it brings joy to you, does it strike up emotions, how does it make you feel. If you want to declutter and the answer is “No” “Meh” or something else unfavorable, maybe it’s time to part ways with that item. In the beginning, I did a few virtual practice runs by just looking around the room, asking myself to find the things that do bring joy. I was amazed of how little there was truly left and that is why I know that with ease I could live in my tiny school bus home one day. This also works fabulous with clothing. How do you feel wearing that outfit? Meh or does it make you feel beautiful? You decide for which to go for. Settle or empower, the choice is yours. If you ask me, you should feel nothing less than beautiful and life is too short, but I’m getting sidetracked into another post here. 

Lastly it said to be on high alert, to look for signs and to not miss a thing. To go outside, meditate with palms wise open towards the sky, connect to the divine and your higher self. Expect nothing short of miracles and be prepared to receive. Your positive expectation is the key to the door of opportunity. 

I surely felt much better and in the end I was glad that it was this card that found it’s way to the surface. Now a few weeks later, it is also that a few things have already fallen into place in this journey that is ever changing. Stay tuned…