Posted in Chronic illness, Swimming

Finding my cool in Summer-Days

The temperatures have been rising into the upper 80’s to mid 90’s. It’s been tough on me, and I lack energy most days. The fatigue is worse and the smallest chores can become a huge task. Although used to the heat from living in the high desert in the states, the humid heat here in Germany is definitely something else to contend with. I don’t tolerate it as well as many others, and my joints are constantly swollen. My hair is in a permanent updo and I feel like I dress poorly compared to everyone else. Loose clothing it is most of the time, and it doesn’t take much to break out in a sweat, just sitting. It was so hot and sticky in Mom’s room yesterday, I had to make my hair wet and wrap a cold wet bandana around my head to cool my brain. It seems to have become a permanent accessory as well, and makes me feel a little like I am in battle mode, Rambo style. I could tell that I got irritated from the heat yesterday and today is finally a rest day for me. I’m trying not to feel guilty being lazy, but it feels really good and I needed the break. I woke up early, full of excitement, knowing it is the birthday of a very special person in my life. Happy Birthday my soul sister. May you float through the day, and let the sea carry you in total weightlessness. May all worries lift at that point and remind you that it is all small stuff. You are loved.

I myself found a means to float. Every first Wednesday of the month it is off to the salt pools where the water carries me with minimal effort. Further, and with the heat, I have rediscovered the place I learned how to swim. The public pool, in the town where Mom is. Perhaps the only place to stay sane during those temperatures, and I have gone several times by now. I visit Mom and go to cool off afterwards. Besides the refreshing break, it is helping the joint pain and I always knew that water is perfect for it. A low impact exercise that places minimal pressure onto my joints.

Lying on the grass, relaxing, I was watching others enjoying themselves and having a good time. My inner child rejoiced as I recalled my own memories of a time that has long past. I wasn’t always that lucky to have made it to the pool. One time my cousin and I wanted to go spend the afternoon at the pool. We never made it, and instead we each got a bucket of water to stand in with our feet. A far cry from the pool, but a memory that now brings a smile. Sitting there, caught up in nostalgia, it felt as if revisiting my past in the current time. As if looking back through the eyes of an adult now seeing it all unfold once more. I may have not liked the bucket at the time, being a child, but it was my inner child now that spoke to me and said

“See, if this didn’t happen way back when, you wouldn’t have this memory today to smile upon.”