Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Light-workers

Have you ever felt lonely or easily alienated with society? Unable to relate to people around you while they seem to have little in common with you? Have you ever felt that nobody understands, and that you constantly swim against the grain? Alien like you walk amongst others and every blue moon, you click with someone without the use of words. Then you might be in the small percentage of society that some believe to have a distant provenance, sent here on a mission to benefit humanity. You might be a light-worker, and are here to make a difference. Light-workers are known under several different names, such as star seeds, Earth Angels, and Indigos who have volunteered to be here during Earths most crucial times. A light-worker is a spiritual being in human existence, sent here to heal. Each have their own mission to complete and it is why they incarnated in the Earthly plane.

Many of the worlds population are made up of lightworkers, and if you aren’t one yourself, you’ve most likely met one. Lightworkers produce positive energy and use their gifts to spread divine wisdom of love. Has someone ever told you that you inspire them, or that you warm their heart, then this life maybe meant to work your light not just for you, but also for others.

A lightworkers feels much different than those around them, and often becomes intertwined in the spiritual community to help identify, and heal, the ills of the world around them. Light-workers are the angels among us, who shed love and warmth, who make our life worth living and who bring hope and strengths during times of despair.

If you are not sure if you are a lightworkers, these 9 signs might shed clarity.

1. You are sensitive

2. Being alone feels normal

3. You are empathetic

4. You have a strong desire to help people

5. You honor and respect the spiritual sense of life

6. You’re a bit of a rebel

7. You act as a voice for humankind

8. You admire the cosmos

9. You find yourself drawn to inspiration and personal development.

How did you score….sounds familiar?

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Posted in Inspiration, Life, Spirituality

My enchanted map

I’ve been newly inspired by life and a miracle has happened. For the moment I am blessed to marvel in another chance of life and I will explain later. I hope that the state of my being will reflect in this post, and that it will be infectious and bring positivity to you. Someone special told me that they can see a difference in my writing when I’m in pain. That my sentences appear shorter and abrupt as if to get it over with. As if I’m pressed to get my message out as quickly as I can due to the discomfort and pain of typing. It doesn’t mean that I wrote worse, thank goodness, as being a storyteller is still very much a dream of mine and I never knew with so much certainty what I wanted to be when I grow up. But it simply means that my style of writing is changing during these times, and that someone who truly knows me will be able to read the pain that resides between the lines. I never realized this, although the pain levels had reached a point of being unbearable.

Coming to Germany in February, I brought one book with me. The Map from Colette Baron-Reid. It was a separate purchase to one of my first and favorite Oracle card decks, “The enchanted Map”, which I used quite frequently. I had set myself up for failure by having certain expectations about the book. I don’t know what I thought, but the book never really grabbed my attention and love as much as the deck did. It was a hard act to follow, and I thought the book was rather plain. Something led me to bring it to Germany, thinking that I would have more time to get familiar, and give it a chance to grow on me. Six months later, I have hardly touched it but I’m starting to see a connection, a message that is within this book, meant to be heard by me, perhaps NOW. It talks about a magical map, the lay of the land and the different places we visit throughout our lives. It sounds much like journeying and connecting with our inner shaman. I find it fitting today, on this day of new beginnings to share a few finds from the book that stood out for me so far.

“Finding the magic and meaning in the story of your life”….

….who hasn’t wondered about that. Soon or later we all question our purpose and what life is all about. What lessons we learn, about life not being fair (which is inspiring a new post all together), about luck, love and adversity. We question our experiences, unable to understand or make a connection at times, and in the end we wonder what life is all about. What was our mission, did we have a purpose and did we achieve the goals set out for us. Do we contribute to society, die we become successful? Here are a few things to ponder when it comes to that.

My map is magical and unlike any I have ever seen.

It is full of enchanting places and depicts battlefields, resting spots, mountains to climb, oceans to cross, quicksand to carefully emerge from, and new territories to discover.

My map is made up of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, memories, and intentions. It is made of my souls essence of creativity and imagination.

My map changes automatically with my experiences.

My map is unique to me and unfolds differently when I’m “awake”.

My map guides me through “The Valley of Loss”.

The map becomes visible when I make a conscious choice to be awake, when I’m aware of something greater than myself, and when I embrace the possibility of a pattern created by spirit that I can’t always make out from where I stand. As I surrender to spirit and ask for illumination, my enchanted map reveals itself in all it’s glory, and I realize that in my pocket is a compass that always points to my “True North.” To spirit, whose guidance will never fail me, and whose effort on my behalf will never cease, whether I realize it or not.

“I remember that there are seasons and cycles for everything and no storm ever stays in one place.”

This post is dedicated to my Soul Brother and my Soul Sister, two amazing friends that I love to the moon and back. I couldn’t do it without you. Thank you. 💙

Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

The Vortex – Part 3 – The fairy garden

Please see The Vortex Part 1 & 2 to get up to speed on where this post picks up on.

After discovering the T.V. in my picture from one of my favorite stomping grounds, it all made sense. I knew that my feelings were credited to having found my own little energy field. I was picking up on something just like I did at Mount Shasta, where I had felt it for the very first time. I think back to how it all started, and the only way I can describe it as getting addicted, hooked on a feeling. I wanted to feel like this all the time, and priorities were set to go visit “The Vortex” as often as possible. To tune into the feeling, perhaps discover other energy fields. It was during that time that I became aware of “grounding” and connecting myself with the earth. I could literally feel the healing enter my body, while worries drained from me.

My crazy retail life was beyond stressful and I was chasing someone else’s dream. I was a general manager for a prestigious, well known beauty store and couldn’t have carried more responsibility back. For what? To prove that I could do it, to be a foreigner successful in another country, to be validated, to not having to turn every penny? It came with a hefty price tag, one I wouldn’t be willing to pay again. Peace at home had long vanished into a failed marriage, merely living as roommates, stuck in shared responsibilities and obligations. Luckily I was never alone, and I never had to deal with it all on my own. I would have managed and I’m not afraid of being alone, but this was so much better and I had the most amazing support system, my saving grace.

Coming to Germany, there is no doubt that I missed my support system and “The Vortex”. I no longer worked physically, but the mental aspects would prove equally as challenging, if not more. There was little to feel good about in the beginning, and the house was neglected, including a garden overgrown with years full of weeds. In Mom’s defense I like to add that none of this was done purposely, it merely happened because she physically couldn’t do it anymore. If you have read prior posts, you know about Moms attachment to the house. I imagine it was very tough for her to watch it go down hill. Mom had always maintained high standards when it came to cleanliness, and we always joked about that you could easily eat off of the floor and be fine. Those times had passed, and I’m sure she struggled with it.

So here I was, with no Vortex, no place to really go to recharge. Energy was used up daily, but not replenished, I knew eventually I would run on empty. There is a place in Mittenwald that definitely has a Vortex, but it’s also several hours worth a train ride away from here. I was lucky to have gone twice, and I felt the energy of my mountains both times. Luckily there is also Rothenburg which is much closer and has a Vortex as well. It differs from my mountain Vortex, but nevertheless it is a place I feel my soul belongs. Here again, I feel a connection to the medieval era, the music, the simple life in regards to having less. Perhaps another prior life.

Eventually the “Savannah” which I called the weed overgrown backyard was transformed and became what I call the Fairy Garden today. The cobwebs were pushed back to give way to a colorful little space with a magical mushroom forest, a place for fairies, and new life contained within my outdoor shrine. The walkway in the middle of it which feels like the main aorta, the heart of the space became visible once again to breath new life into the area. At one point a hammock was strung from the fence pole to the barn, which allowed for carefree hanging out amongst the flowers. Bees which are endangered and fewer in Germany came to visit. The natural water source was replenished daily and showed signs of usage over night. Tiny hummingbirds and butterflies moved in shortly after, intoxicated from the sweet flower nectar the would find from sown, late blooming flowers. A little Vortex was created and still, I love to sit and oversee the garden in complete silence. To watch the daylight cease, casting it’s last glow and making way to a starry night. It’s peaceful and serene, my way of meditating, welcoming new blooms, and letting it all fall to the wayside for a few moments. To be still and notice what has changed on a daily basis. Although the clearing most likely made Betsy (hedgehog) flee and relocate to thicker underbrush once more. I haven’t seen her around lately and it’s been quiet.

The little Fairy Garden Vortex is bittersweet. It’s a place to enjoy and just be for awhile, but also a place to get caught up in nostalgia and to reminisce about times that have come and gone. It’s a place to notice the ever changing winds of time and the chill they can carry when your heart feels alone. A chill that should be shared to lessen it’s frostbites on your heart.

PS. And I know that I’m truly never really alone and thank you all for sharing this journey with me. Xoxoxo 💙🦋

Posted in Inspiration, My story, Spirituality

Destined to “Transform”

There is a butterfly hanging in Mom’s room at the nursing home. It was a gift for her 80’s birthday, from who?… I don’t know, and it wasn’t something that would matter initially. The “who” part still doesn’t matter, but the fact that it was there in its chosen shape, would peak my interest at a later point. It could have been anything, but it wasn’t, and it was a butterfly.

In the spiritual world of symbolic meanings, the butterfly stands for transformation. A symbol that starts out as a caterpillar, later breaking a cocoon, shedding all restrictions, to gracefully spread it’s wings in all their beauty and majesty.

  • I have seen this butterfly just about every day since Mom’s birthday on July 19th. I always liked it, but I never linked it to a message until today. I’m not sure why today, I guess the timing was right to ponder it’s meaning and indulge into the subject. Just like God never gives us more then we can handle, spirit reveals is lessons when we are ready for it’s teachings.
  • It was today that I took this picture, while thinking about our daily life’s, comparing it to a butterfly, to transformation. In a way we transform all the time, sometimes the steps are small, and sometimes we make huge strides, the ones that become life altering, defining. But we never stay the same for long, and change constantly. What once was a fit, may no longer be, we change our minds, we grow, we adapt and we break out. We transform by shedding what no longer serves us. Our cocoon.
  • In between those steps, we find all the miracles and challenges that come along the way. Doing the leg work, feeling small in a tiny big world, like the caterpillar, we fight to make our mark. We chase goals set for us, only to find out that said such, never was a dream of ours the begin with. We merely followed the values set and instilled from our parents. We didn’t know better, until our own experiences were collected. Because if it, and until then, we end up trapped, stuck up to our neck in obligations, responsibilities, and expectations that dig their claws deeper into our flesh, the more we try to move. The cocoon is threatening to choke the life right out of us.
  • It takes breaking out, something radical, a wild choice to destroy that cocoon we constructed for ourselves, but most of all it takes courage to take that step towards transformation. Requirements are an unwillingness to accept mediocre, a hunger to challenge the status quo, and a passion for changing your stars, as well as your own destiny. Only then can we spread our wings, and turn into something greater, something that nourishes or soul in every way. Only then do we become the priority and can flourish as what we were truly meant to be. And lastly it takes timing…
  • What a transformation Mom was going through I thought. Her entire life flashed before me as I recounted all the things that she shared with me. Arriving at a point, now, unable to break out, time had gotten away leaving her to watch everything from the sidelines. Sure she had wishes and dreams, things she didn’t like, wished she could still change. I’m sure she felt trapped in that cocoon, and so much of life itself was foreign to her. Her experiences were few, but they were major ones. I’m not sure if she ever had the change to stretch her beautiful wings.
  • Further I thought about the message the butterfly had for me. What transformation I was going trough. I sure had seen my share of flutter friends this year and last. Remembering the challenges and gifts along the way, I was still in a position to make changes. All my trials had led up to this very moment. How was my life truly to continue, (it seemed to be the million dollar question these days), I thought, while standing at the crossroads, the designer of my own destiny. That’s exactly where I needed to be. Designing my future, having a say so, vs. being trapped in that cocoon. Not being forced to jump back into that hamster wheel, I knew one thing for sure, transformation had a reason for knocking on my door. A opportunity was provided, with me deciding the path to take. Whichever direction it would lead? I knew with certainty it would be the path less traveled.
  • “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you always wanted. Do it now.”
  • ~Paul Coelho
  • Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

    The Vortex – Part 2 – Chasing a feeling

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    It was at “Magical Mount Shasta”, (please see post with the same title as my links are not working) that something had awakened in me. It was something I couldn’t explain at first, all I knew was that things had changed, and my awareness grew. There was a hunger for more, a yearning to know, yet I didn’t know what I was searching for, nor did I have a clue to what changed. There was a different feel. I felt transformed over night, and life seemed simple and so wonderful all of a sudden. I was about to knock on another door, a door that was holding magic and wonder to be discovered. The time was right, and the teacher would appear once more with another lesson of personal growth, that the student (me) was eagerly awaiting. I was so fueled by all of it, there was so much curiosity, so much eagerness and anticipation, that I felt as if the information, along with the timing of when it reached me was perfect. I needed something, a focus I could hold on to, something that brought new meaning. Life had become mundane, rut like, and it was passing me with no special significances. In fact there was always some problem waiting to be sorted, and I grew tired of it. It was eating away at me, disturbing my potential I thought, although these days I would say that those times were essential events that shaped me into who I am today. But at that time, I felt as if it was disrupting my delicate balance and my inner peace. It appeared that things never went too smoothly, at least I don’t remember prolonged times of feeling carefree bliss. There was always something that needed my attention, always something waiting to be worked out. Things could never be without some sort of headache. Mom always said that life is not meant to be easy, and that something bad would occur to put you back into your place, in case you were doing too well. Just to remind you of your place in life, as if you weren’t deserving of happiness. Of course I never believed in this old wife’s tale, but understood that she had a total different set of experiences then I had. Perhaps I shouldn’t boil it down to experiences, and God knows I had my own share of it, but what became apparent was that Mom was a pessimist, often in areas where I had managed to stay optimistic. Mom had been dealt so many bad hands that she lost faith, and it was up to her what she made out of those challenges. Somehow she couldn’t choose the positives and never learned. Perhaps Moms soul is a young one, making some it’s first experiences. Whatever it might be, how we react is a conscious choice we all have to make one time or another, and I have yet to meet a person that didn’t have their own story and challenges to tell.

    Back to the subject, we often refer to the trip to Shasta as “ The trip where something happened and changed within me”. Although I haven’t been back, ever so often I feel the urge that draws me back to that place, a need to chase that feeling. A want to explore it over and over, and a choice of not wanting to spend life without it. There is a yearning to emerge in the fountain of bliss, to be reborn lighter, having shed the troubles in exchange of being in alignment with my higher self. I know Shasta can balance the turmoil within, as can others of these healing, holy sites. Millions of people feel something and come to those sights each year. Feeling drawn across the continents, for no explainable reason, just like Sedona.

    Doing random searches on the web, trying to pinpoint what I was feeling, I was searching for a rational explanation. A perspective that I could articulate, the feeling was so intense and real, it had to be shared. I just couldn’t hold it in. I was like child in the candy store, trying to take whoever was listening with me to experience the same magic. It wasn’t so much that I needed confirmation, what I was feeling was very real to me, but it was more of a matter of sharing, as if I had stumbled upon some great treasure. Eventually with the click of a button and more research, I discovered why others flocked to these areas, and felt even more drawn. What had I embarked upon? Something told me that this was only the tip of the iceberg, and that it was only the beginning of research that would follow this staring point. I was right, and I had discovered the healing powers of vortexes. Slowly, but surely it all began to make sense.

    Vortexes are energy fields, felt by those able to be still, to be aware, and in tune with what is going on. Some are bigger and some are smaller, but they are all over the world. It is said that certain individuals can pick up the vibrations of those energy fields. Could it be? Have you ever had a round, lush circle in your lawn? A perfect round shape that seems to grow faster, looking healthier and greener then the rest of your grass? Well, you got yourself a Vortex, maybe too small for you to feel the actual energy from, but your greens have definitely felt something and are thriving as a result of it. I soon put two and two together, and knew that I was thriving because of the way these energy fields made me feel.

    It was later on that I connected the dots further, and answered a few mysteries that occasionally crossed my mind. It had been years that I started hiking, that I was introduced to the wilderness. I could never be more grateful for that day, and all the magic that would unfold for years to come. It was a life changer, and early on I recognized a smaller version of that feeling which I had discovered at Mount Shasta. Little did I know that it would take ten years from the time I started hiking, to the time of my Aha-moment where I pinpointed what was going on. I merely accepted it as miraculous, like I had been dormant for so many years, stumbled onto something magical, was bestowed a most precious gift, and finally awakened to life. I fell in love with hiking and with Mother Nature. I fell in love with how it made me feel.

    Eventually we had to leave Shasta and it was a real downer. I didn’t want to let go, I wanted to stay in my dreamlike state. Reality had little that drew me back, and definitely couldn’t hold a candle to what I had found in this special little town, at the base of Mount Shasta. Back at home the research continued about vortexes, and I read about the feelings people described, and the mountains healing powers. I knew with certainty that I had picked up on the energy of that place, despite of having no facts to prove anything. To me it was logical, but to someone else it could easily feel like hocus pocus, a theory, something made up, something unsupported. I knew what it was, and that’s all that mattered.

    I started to make a connection between Shasta and places in my immediate surroundings. I loved all of the wilderness, and being so close to a variety of scenic wonders such as Yosemite and Lassen volcanic park. All of them held their own unique beauty and always made my heart sing. Still, there remains a place near my house, an area that draws me like no other. I have visited millions of times, and yet my heart lifts as feelings of bliss flood through me, each time that I see it again. It’s my go to place, my little Shasta away from Shasta. There is something about it, and it was during my time of research that I adopted the belief that there has to be a Vortex there. Again, the thought crossed my mind that maybe I was more sensitive, able to pick up the vibrations. Perhaps I will never know what the reason is, but I see it as a wonderful gift. No matter what it is, that special little area near my house has become “The Vortex” ever since. It’s how I refer to that magical place, and it is where I go to balance life and the hectic it throws my way. I recognized the feeling of that magical place back to how I had felt at Mount Shasta, but it didn’t become the Vortex until I showed this picture to my dear coworker “White Wizard”. I lovingly call her so, and gave her that nickname due to her life wisdom, and maybe her gray hair she is not ready for and continues to color. She looked at the picture, a fan of my photography and knew the story about my Mount Shasta post. She glanced at me, pointing at the photograph and said “You do see the T. V. don’t you? What do you think it stands for? I had never noticed until then, and still didn’t make the connection. She left me with my own thoughts, and didn’t say anything else. I had to find out for myself, after all the meaning was meant for me, it was my picture and I had taken it. Another person could have come up with a total different interpretation, but the divine had a message for me that came across in my photograph. It was later that day that I looked at the photo again, and when it hit me smack dab in the face. Oh my goodness, chills ran down my spine and my heart was pounding faster. I recalled the feelings this place gave me, feeling drawn and connected, the peace I would experience while grounding on it’s soil, in touch with the earth, feeling it’s heartbeat. I remembered what it felt like when stress was exiting my body to leave nothing but comfort and love behind. How rejuvenated I felt, ready to tackle more of life’s obstacles, that would surely come my way. I remembered the glow on my face, how happy I was, and how much I looked forward to going each time. This place never got old or boring, and I realized that it wasn’t only the scenic beauty I was drawn to, but also the way it made me feel. I was chasing a feeling of which hunger was never satisfied until I was in the middle of it. I starred at the photo and the T. V. in the upper frame and then it hit me. The universe was telling me a secret and I knew that the T. V. stood for “The Vortex”.

    Posted in Life, Spirituality

    Soul Path

    I knew the path would be rocky, but I chose this journey anyways. Nothing is ever accomplished taking the easy way out. For me growth has come through pain, through the tough experiences and the willingness to walk into the unknown.

    This is my path and my journey. I walk it for the sanity of my soul.

    Posted in Life, Spirituality

    Cool at the pool

    It’s been a heat wave here in Germany and I don’t know the last time I have sweat so much. I have been told that it has been one of the hottest and driest summers in a long time. For me it has been a summer with the most pool visits since I can remember. Probably back to my childhood. It’s been a summer of wild, messy hair that is mostly put up in a bun of which Mom makes fun of, and a summer with little styling products and tools. I think the gray mane has intensified and this summer, and this part of my journey has added more silver streaks. It’s probably been the most unkept in a long time and finally the other day I cut at least the tips to tidy up a bit. It has been a summer of letting go, of embracing and acceptance. A summer of hope, determination and strengths. There have been many lessons along the way, as well as “Aha-moments”, highs and lows, pain and joy. It’s been an incredible journey that has helped me grow in many ways.

    Today is a very special day and a most special sister and friend is helping me to deepen the journey and gain even greater insight. Today I have given my troubles to the divine as I float through the day and stay cool in the pool.

    Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

    The “Magic” Elder

    Ever since I got to Germany there has been a special connection to this Elder. It’s growing right in front of my window and I see it every day. Earlier this year it had beautiful white blooms, but I never got to deep fry them or use them for other purposes. The Elder shared its location with an overgrown, wild hops plant that planted itself right next to it and finally threatened to kill the Elder. The vines were wrapped around the Elder branches and some were dying off already. It was taking over. Last week the Elder tree was freed and I saw it for the first time with the potential it will have. I say this because it looks great from the front, but the left side and the back is pretty barren where the hops already left his damage. I always thought it was a bush, but it is actually a tree with multiple trunks. The added bonus is that there is one growing in the backyard now, near what I hope will be a special little shrine section. I’ve always been deeply connected to trees, but this one has a special magic. There is just something about it. Something soothing, something spiritual. It was painful to cut some of the dead branches to encourage new growth and I had to ask it for forgiveness. The Elder is growing in front of the old barns and on the backside is now a little silver metal tub to collect rainwater off the gutter. The rain gutter runs right into it and I think I have found my entry and exit point for journeying. The upwards gutter for the return and the water source near this magical tree for the entry.