Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Channeling your inner Goddess

Feel the soil with your hands and walk barefoot to feel grounded.

Wade in water to feel cleansed and emotionally healed.

Fill your lungs with fresh air and close your eyes to be still. Feel mentally clear and calm inside.

Raise your face to the sun and recognize your own immense power.

And finally, embrace the kiss of the wind that brings new life and opportunity with every breath.

Xoxo ❤️

Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Shrine addition

I found another new addition for my shrine as I was walking home tonight. This one feels special with all its markings, although I have not interpreted it yet to come up with a meaning. I’m not sure of the message and I will look into it later. Honestly I was too tired to do so, but feel free to take a stab at it.

Posted in Spirituality

Old soul

Have you ever heard somebody say that he or she is an old soul? What makes it so and when is this sentence vocalized?

Have you found yourself alone and isolated for as long as you can remember? Do you lead a solitary existence, need your own time, feel misunderstood, and like you often don’t fit in? Do things seem familiar, like you have been here, or done this before? Have less patience for the rat race, and struggle to tolerate contempt? Guess what – You might be an old soul.

Have you ever wondered….”How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” ~Satchel Paige

I have long believed that I’m an old soul, but what makes one really an old soul? Surely anybody could claim that title and say “I’m an old soul too”. For me it often is the familiarity of things, being in the know of how something works, although I have never done it in this lifetime. Sometimes it is my intuition and the wisdom that I bring to the forefront, without ever learning about it. I just simply know. And sometimes it is a feeling of being ahead of the times, knowing what is about to go down, even before something happens. And lastly it is others who have made comments about my old soul. I bit intrigued and went as far as reading a book from Aletheia Luna called Old Souls. I found it rather interesting and recommend it if you ever wondered yourself.

Here are 9 signs that might indicate that you are an old soul

  • You tend to be a solitary loner
  • You love knowledge, wisdom and truth
  • You’re spiritually inclined
  • You understand the transience of life
  • You’re thoughtful and introspective
  • You see the bigger picture
  • You aren’t materialistic
  • You were a strange, socially maladaptive kid
  • You just “feel” old

Posted in Spiritual awakening, Spirituality

Dharma Dragon

While landing in Iceland, I had a little layover and made my way over to one of the gift shops. With no extra time to explore the scenery of Iceland, I at least wanted a souvenir that would remind me of my layover. I’m always intrigued and fascinated by the treasures of different countries and cultures, so it was a no brainer to do a little exploring. I had no idea about the money conversion, but how bad could a bottle of water, a small square wooden guidance stave and a journal cost, right? Fifty some dollars to be exact once the receipt was handed to me. I’m not sure if I would have paid that price had I known, but I wasn’t ready to part with my new found treasure either and walked on. I’ve previously written about my guidance stave and I feel it has protected me so far. I feel that I am somehow finding my way in all of this.

The journal that attracted my attention was one of a kind and the only one I could find. It immediately drew me in and I quickly put others back on the shelf that I had considered for purchase. There was no doubt that this one was “The one”. The graphics were mesmerizing, from the colors, to the various levels of texture on the front and back. It looked multi dimensional and the shapes would dance in the reflection of the light. The inside pages were unruled which I usually don’t like as much as lines, but it was still perfect. As you already know, I purchased it. I was drawn to it despite the lines and today I learned that it was printed from forest paper. Did I feel a connection to Mother Earth? I am actually glad now that it has no lines. Sometimes you just need to draw outside the lines, and this seems as one such journey where no lines are required.

The journal has been lying around since I got here, and feels a bit like a sacred piece to me. It was special from the beginning, and was not to be wasted with random scatter. It required something special….Context with special meaning. The last couple of days have been special to me. Special when it comes to Mom and special to my own personal healing, growth and journey. I looked at the journal today and started my day smiling. I had failed to see that the journal is called the Dharma Dragon which relates to Buddhism. No wonder I felt drawn. I read up on the Dharma today, and I know that there is more meaning yet to be understood. I will touch on this when time is right and the full message is delivered.

The art was produced by Android Jones and is a result of ancient spiritual practices meeting modern day digital art. It is said that his art asks the viewer to focus on the potential of awakening, the power of the ancient third eye and the early reverberations of the time that lies before us. Jones calls himself a digital painter and is renowned for his multidimensional, spiritual driven art and performances, as well as the expanded states of consciousness they evoke. A modern day shaman with a sense of untapped potential and limitless imagination. Jones invites you to push the boundaries of perception and awaken to the possibilities of your own third eye.

It has been a frightening time and never have I been more out of my elements as I have been over the past weeks. Never have I felt more vulnerable, alone and dependent. Never have I felt more lost and found at the same time. I’ve been afraid, stretched and pulled in multiple directions. Sometimes feeling as if my heart was ripped out and other times yearning to feel every emotion. The reason for it is because I know that this is the journey of a lifetime, one that could make or break me.

The timing is right to bring this journal into use and I’m ready to push the boundaries. I am ready to make it vs. letting it break me, and for the first time since this has started, I feel sure of it. I will not accept the truths that are forced if they don’t meet my own say of how the story is going to end. Right now is a mere waiting period, a time to get acclimated, a time to remember that drastic times take drastic measures and the end I envision looks happy and I see Mom smiling.

Posted in Spirituality


(Kyem) n.

The next clue arrived with the Scots Gaelic word Caim. It stands for sanctuary; an invisible circle of protection, drawn around the body with the hand, to remind one of being safe and loved, even in the darkest times.

How I came across this, at this particular time is uncertain, but I felt like it was a message that I needed to hear, as well as something that I needed to tell others. While going through a great period of transformation, that includes darker periods, the empath within me never rests. Picking up on the energies of others is often draining, but also very rewarding if you can help. You have to learn to balance your gift of insight and intuition so you yourself don’t get weak. I did draw a circle around my body, and I bet some of you will as well after reading this. Before embarking on this journey, one of my tarot cards revealed that I would have to dig deep and pull out all the resources I could muster. That I would have to be strong and that nothing would be easy. It never said that I would fail and I know that I won’t, but I’m picking up resources, spirit signs and body circles wherever and whenever to fuel my motivation and keep me thriving. I might be lonely sometimes, but I am loved. I might be frightened sometimes, but I am safe. I might be in darkness sometimes, but I carry the light within.

Architecture from Rothenburg

Posted in Spirituality

Another doorway

I came across another doorway that compelled me to stop and take it’s picture. This one is in my hometown and I know that I have seen it before. Never until now did I think to stop and take it’s picture. I was on my way to see Mom and it was a day like any other. I had passed the door already, and I can’t explain what, or why I stopped to turn around and walk back to that particular door. I stood for a moment while looking at the handle. It appeared to be slightly pressed as if it was going to give way for the door to open. I waited, nothing happened, but there was something. I stared into the black keyhole holding my breath, nothing. If the owner would have opened the door, it would surely have scared the living daylights out of me.

I have passed the door a few times since, and I always pause and stare. Without trying to get all weird on those of you who might think it is my imagination and that I have gone completely bunkers, I have no facts to back this up. Nor do I have a reason to make it up. Maybe there is something my mind wants to see, something I need to believe right now, and maybe it is just a reminder that if one door closes, another is always ready to open. Whatever it might have been, I believe there was a message for me to take away.

Posted in Inspiration, Spiritual awakening, Spirituality

A Zen Moment

These were the actual colors of a sunset I got to see last year. I was lucky enough to witness it’s glory, and the timing was perfectly synchronized as I was driving home from work. A little earlier or minutes later, and I could have easily missed it, but luckily not so, and the universe saved a little magic for me that day.

This morning a reminder of such memory flashed on my Facebook account and the sight captured my heart just like it did the first time. Of course seeing it in person was magnified and even better, but this picture comes pretty close and is worth sharing. What stands out from looking at it besides the beauty of the sheer sight, was the way it made me feel.

It was a while ago that a interest sparked about Buddhism. I related to many of the beliefs and teachings, the way of being and a way of life. I believed in Nirvana, of changing my stars and my way of thinking. To be optimistic and always keep hope alive. To believe in the good of all mankind and to only judge when proven guilty. And not even then most of the time, as judgement is not for me and we often don’t know all the reasons to accurately form an opinion or judge someone’s behavior. I started to believe in each other, that we all have something to bring to the table. Those foundations had always been within me, but were ready to reach new depths. I had already found my still in Mother Nature, but my senses to see and hear deepened. I witnessed more of the simple things, a flower, wildlife, clouds, rocks, branches and other things that could be a part of some sort of project that would magically come together at a time it was meant to reveal it self. It always did, and most of the time I didn’t know why I felt so compelled to collect something until a later time when a beautiful project came full turn as if the piece was always meant for it. I was always tickled pink and overcome with joy when it happened. To create something with my own hands, no matter how simple it might have been. I already felt guided back then, guided to pick up that piece, somehow knowing that I would need it later.

I became more still within at that time. I felt more relaxed and more at peace, although life with all its troubles and curve balls remained the same. I know that I was going through the various steps of spiritual awakening, and the one I enjoyed the most was the third step and the journey of discovery. (I’ve wrote about all the steps under the tag of spiritual awakening, just in case you care to read how they applied to me). It was quite the journey and each step brought special meaning. My perception had changed already and I was seeing and hearing things other couldn’t. I seemed to be more in tune, and was seeking to understand the why’s and what had happened.

It is hard to put into words, but having arrived at this kind of attention and being in tune with my surroundings is something I’m very grateful for. It gives me the greatest pleasures to witness those things. To be able to pause and take a moment without being so caught up that I wold rush by and miss the moment. I’m grateful that these things have become a priority in my life and that they bring so mich bliss and joy. That my mind constantly searches for such moments, whether it be signs from my spirit animals, Mother Nature with its beauty or even oracle cards and tarot. That I’m ok with that they are different than what most others would consider exciting and that I’m not afraid to stand up for their meaning, even if it means that I have to stand alone. Yep, I think that trees are beautiful and magnificent.

Being able to witness this beautiful sunset was such a Zen moment for me and here is what the dictionary has to say about Zen.

Zen = relaxed and not worrying about things that you cannot change.

A form of Buddhism, originally developed in Japan, that emphasizes that religious knowledge is achieved through emptying the mind of thoughts and giving attention to only one thing, rather than by reading religious writing.

Giving attention to just one thing is we’re I found my Zen and where my peace was finally found. It was then that the load became lighter although the struggles stayed the same and didn’t just magically disappeared. I believe it was a major shift in how I see the world, my experiences, the tests and lessons, the good and the not so good, the simplicity’s that bring the greatest joy and the more is less concept these days. I’m grateful for that experience and for falling in love with a tree, a beautiful flower, a little critter and sometimes a magical sunset. I’m grateful to be a dreamer at heart.

Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality


The two of swords from my Tarot reading resonated, and still occupied my mind days later. It all made perfect sense all of a sudden, from the panic of nothing getting resolved, to the exhaustion of balancing, suspended between two worlds. I wasn’t blind, but I did not prefer to see the entire situation clearly and in all it’s harsh reality. I felt as if I was learning new traits daily, as if I was tested and measured, stretched to expand my horizons and grow closet into my higher self. I remembered my badger sighting from a few weeks ago. A sign that Mother Earth was supporting me in my battle of good and evil. It’s not really evil, but it is what I call the struggles at times. Badger also promised to bring new wisdom and no matter how tough the lesson, I was seeking to learn and grow from it. I thought of all that had happened within the past seven weeks and somehow everything had reason and found it’s rightful place within the puzzle. I came to the conclusion that the main peace I was learning right now was to balance the right amount of action against the right amount of balance. Life changed for a few involved in this and adjustment to such life altering circumstances couldn’t be forged and take time. I’ve always considered myself as patient, but Mom had shown me that I had more to learn. I got frustrated with the situation at times, although I mostly kept it conceived from her. What was I expecting, that she’d embrace her new life with open arms? I got selfish at times and missed my conveniences in the states and being one with nature. I missed my hikes and my life became stagnant, stuck in the same daily rut. I had to refocus and find more balance. I needed to trust that everything was in divine order and how it was meant to be. I needed to remember that the universe already had a plan and that I was ready for the next step.

And then a comment hit my inbox from Amanda (if the link still doesn’t work, you can find her at a special blogger that seems to know my soul inside and out, although we’ve only known each other for a short time. I trust her and believe that nothing is left to coincidence. I’m not surprised that our paths have crossed and the timing of synchronicities is for a reason. It doesn’t matter how much or how little I say, she just knows. It is as if she looks into my soul and is able to articulate everything going on perfect and better than I can find the words for. If you have not visited her blog yet, please do so, and share in her amazing journey as well. Amanda has reminded me of what a great community this is and how much we all have to say. Now we can support each other and learn from each other. To share our journey and to spread the message that we are never alone, no matter how lonely the path. I’m honored to have walked the path, and still do, with some very special people. I have learned so much from all of you…thank you.

I’m not surprised that the two of swords showed up in my reading, and it seemed like the perfect card.

Amanda’s feedback

Well, what can I say? How amazingly appropriate. Nothing you don’t really already know, though, hey? It sounds precarious, but hang on, it’s not so bad. You don’t need to rely entirely on yourself for the answers of what constitutes action right now, ask the Divine, address your Witness Self, the teacher within. Don’t act too soon, don’t panic. Wait, and keep removing resistances whilst you wait. The focus is joining together the communication coming from two sides; mind and heart, water and air, moon of intuitive world and cogs of the practical. As two elements unite as one, your problems are solved. Let me tell you then, a little about your future. A major shift, breakthrough and transformation is assured but not yet visible. You are actually experiencing another initiation process in your life now, but I’m sure you’re already aware of that. Your Warrior nature is called for, but remember, your swords are not only about battle, swords are about balance, they have two sides (duality again), they are also for cutting through the confusion and illusion. With them, you can cut away the unwanted thoughts and feelings that get in your way. That is the kind of Warrior you are. Rely on radical trust, even if you do end up leaping, empty-handed into the void. You are already closer to the light than the darkness. BTW, you are not blind, you have never been blind, preferring not to look occasionally maybe, but not blind.

Posted in Inspiration, Spirituality

Visiting God

Shortly after finding my black feather, we arrived at St. Veit, one of our local churches. We have two churches which is unusual for the small size of town. I learned that my hometown was mentioned first in the year of 837, and actually consists of three different towns that grew together. This is said to have happened at the beginning of 14th century. As far as St. Veit, is was the same church that many years ago I had my own Konfirmation, so I was familiar with the inside. Plus Dad is buried in this cemetery which also has me returning to St. Veit’s.

After a short standing prayer, I took my seat on the heated bench. Everything seemed untouched and as I remembered. The altar, the cross, the Muriel’s and the eye of God on the ceiling. My eyes kept wandering through the benches, to the two upper floors, and back to the altar. I paused at the acoustic guitar standing next to the altar, and felt excited for what was to come. Somehow I knew that this service was going to be different from the last time I had been to church. I picked up on the impact it was going to have on me, before it even started, long before I realized it myself. I felt a connection to my own guitar and my ukulele, and was looking forward to hearing the sound fill the walls and the hearts of a community attending today’s church service. Finally, the service began, and my interest and attention was peaked at every word, every move, and every interaction. Several times throughout, I found myself with the utmost attention and focus. I was hanging on every word and my eyes stayed on the preacher-man who was trying to spread the word of God with today’s modern and realistic examples. The service lasted nearly two hours, but there was no other place I wanted to be. I was so hungry to listen, and I know that years ago I might have not been ready to hear the message. So much time had passed since I’d been here, and the years had come and gone with so much pain and suffering. Suffering in the world, around me, my fellow humans, as well as my own. The empath within always ensured that I would feel everything just a little extra.

Nothing physically happened throughout the sermon, and yet I felt a burden lifted. It was ok to be vulnerable, I didn’t had to be strong, and I was allowed to just be. Several times I felt so moved and overcome, I could have cried and barely held back the tears. I can’t explain it, and maybe the past weeks with Mom are turning me into a nervous wreck, but I didn’t think that this was fully the reason for how I felt. I witnessed something, and I’m still dissecting what happened. Did my mind make it up because I wanted to feel something, because it was time to come home? Home to what? Was it guilt from all the years missed in church? I had always said that I don’t need to go to church to prove my belief in God and to be a Christian. Was I wrong and had I tried to talk myself into something it wasn’t? Why did I feel so emotional all of a sudden? After all, I had found that black feather, and after all, maybe Dad was watching over me, and wrapped his arm around me, ensuring me that everything would be ok. I just didn’t knew what it was at the time, and was overwhelmed by the emotion of something I couldn’t pinpoint.

We sang many songs that day, including the Jesus Ballad. I had never heard it before, but the tune was all too familiar from Uriah Heep’s, Lady in Black. It was a major staple in my life growing up, and never would I have believed in a thousand years that this was how I would revisit this song. I was glad to pick up a copy of the sermon that included the lyrics to the song once we left church. But for now I sang the song full heartedly with the new unfamiliar lyrics written on a pamphlet, but a melody that was unforgotten. It was also the song our pastor played the acoustic guitar to. It brought an extra special touch to it, and I wish I could have recorded the moment, as well as the community singing it.

We went to church a second time that day and the same happened to me. I was looking forward to going, and I could have stayed longer. Whatever it was that I felt that day, I needed to feel more of it. To be protected, for my heart to be home, and to leave the troubles be for awhile. I felt safe and embraced. I wanted to remember these moments and took a copy of both sermons that day. One of the main things that stood out from the sermon, was that God seeks people vs. it being religion. Like I mentioned, I have always believed, although I haven’t been in church. Whether it is in God, or relating to the teachings of Buddhism, to the divine universe and the laws of Karma, I have always believed in a higher power. Something happened that day in church, something that I can’t explain in actual facts, but I think that I was ready to see and feel. God was seeking me, and I surrendered, and gave my troubles, pains and sins to God that day….

The chandelier is only lit on special occasions. With the Konfirmation of several people, no longer a child, but not quite an adult yet. Reason enough to be a special occasion, and still I wonder about the personal reasons that came into play for me. Maybe it was time to see the light, to shed new found hope into this dark path, and to realize, remember and celebrate the light that I was able to bring to Mom’s situation so far. Keep going, you are not alone and light is all around you, was the message I took from this day.