The significance of the number 12

The number 12 keeps showing up for me lately. So much indeed that I had to look up it’s significance. It’s no coincidence that our trailer is parked in spot #12 and that the new land has some ancient telephone posts that we want to keep. And yes, you’ve guessed it…there is a total of 12 of them. 12 somehow is finding it’s way into most of my days and as always there are no ordinary moments in life.

I almost had to laugh as I learned that the number 12 reflects to the ancient meaning of 12 being the number of perfection. I surely have redesigned over and over the house plans of the structure I hope to build next spring. Considering every detail and making it flow, several drafts were created. In the first one it was a matter of fitting all the essentials. The second draft was concerned with practicality, having enough space, as well as the design to be clever, making use of every nook and cranny. Once that was checked, it was proofed whether it was cool and unique. Whether it would meet that “different” kind of criteria, providing a place and space I would feel at home.

The number 12 is the result of 4×3, 4 elements, 4 corners of the earth and four cardinal points. When these are multiplied the result is 12, the perfect number, the number of God. It is the number of cosmic order. There are 12 months in a year, 12 zodiac signs, 12 Chinese astrology animals (12 years apart) 12 disciples in the New Testament and 12 inches in a foot. It is said that the number 12 is the highest vibration of the 3-dimensional world. It is where the purest masculine energy (represented by the number of one) and the purest female energy (represented by the number two) come together to create all that is and all that will ever be.

But we also find the number 12 in space in time, and time is measured in by two groups of 12 hours. In astrology there are 12 houses in which the planets and the 12 signs travel. In Tarot, the number 12 card is a major arcana card and is the hanged man, a card of letting go, having emotional release and accepting what is.

I find it interesting and by no means am I surprised that this number has surfaced. I relate to it as a number of being on track, about things being perfect as they are and how they must be for the time being. I believe that I am supported by spirit and God and that ultimately everything will be perfect, just how it is meant to be.

Angelic helper

An angelic helper appeared to me in the sky yesterday and brought a smile to my face. I’m sure you have looked to the sky before to see if you could make out any shapes emerging from the puffy clouds. i associate times like these with laying in a meadow or a field of flowers, just relaxing and daydreaming, being at peace, still and content. In this case I just looked up after having dinner outside and this is what I saw, the shape of a floating angel. Perhaps even a loved one, paying me a visit in these challenging times, letting me know that I got this and that I am not walking alone, that I am supported.

After getting a glimpse of the beautiful, nearly full moon last night, I woke up with a chill in the air this morning. It was only 46 degrees outside and for the first time I grabbed my cardigan to keep warm, the same one I bought Mom a few years ago after she saw mine. Oh, how she loved that cozy jacket and despite it being me who bought it, I always feel wrapped in her love and comforted when I wear it.

After two days of putting my thoughts and emotions into perspective I felt better today and not so overwhelmed, at the verge of crying at every little thing. I feel stable, stronger, refocused and grouped once more to tackle life’s challenges. But I am not waiting for the trouble to appear, nor will I make it a priority. I will just let it be, develop as it must and deal with it when I have to. In the meantime, I am distracting myself, reminding myself of all that is good in my life and all of my blessings. And I am enjoying the cooler temperatures, thats for sure.

I still have quite a few issues on the pain front and my hands, the left one especially. Recently I wrote about that trouble with the hands is a matter of letting go and grasping and it still holds true. I hope that with this full moon, some more energy can be released as far as the letting go part goes and as I am desperately grasp my future. I need to be patient as everything is going to plan. Now if anyone knows who has a grain silo, 24’-28’ for sale, please let me know.

The continued process of clearing ancestral trauma

As I check in with my mental and spiritual health, I have to note that I have cried less the past month. I might have had a moment here and there, missing special people, but I haven’t really cried at all. I feel lighter despite that the sale on the house in Germany still hasn’t closed. The contracts are signed but it continues to take it’s sweet time, as I sit back and wait for the final closure. The house is still mine, but it appears that I did most of the work that emotionally binds me while I was there.

I cried a lot during that time but I know I did the work, facing my trauma head on, not shying away from the darkness. I broke the cycle not only freeing myself but also Mom and my ancestors. I feel a relief that I cannot pinpoint to only my own feelings. It’s as if I can hear the sighs of pressure falling of from generation to generation. It truly does end with me, one way or another, as I am the last one of our family. I prefer it to end with all ancestral trauma released.

Maybe there are still a few things to work on and perhaps it is an ongoing process, but I note the difference and I feel it every day. It’s like I got myself back and the crippled, handicapped poor soul I see when I look back to the beginning of the year has vanished. The fight has returned within me and I feel strong enough to tackle the next chapter. Along this process I have lost people, been hurt, destroyed and rebuild. Another version of myself has been reduced to ashes and I can only hold the highest compassion for her. She has seen a thing or two and she has been through some stuff. I thank her determination and willingness to keep going, to not waiver and fight until it was all done. And with that perhaps I have become my own hero. My own role model to look up to, for it was me and all of my previous versions who has made this possible.

Beautiful messenger

Yesterday, a beautiful dragonfly landed on the metal zip line that is holding our sunshade in place. I immediately knew that Mom was paying us a visit. She stayed for nearly 30 minutes, every once in awhile lifting off, only to sit back down within seconds.

Much is going on right now with the purchase of land and potentially building a house on it. Also a house that is meant to honor and suit her since she has set us up in a back to make this dream a possibility. Thanks to her teachings I still could have done it on my own but having a little extra capital to work with definitely helps. Despite of her mot being here in person anymore, it is very important for me to get this right. She always wanted to live near the mountains with a view and the lot purchased definitely offers that part of the dream. I think that when everything is said and done, she will feel at home.

Manifesto of Zen and Zorba

“My manifesto of Zen is that Zorba and Zen are not antagonistic to each other. The Zorba can melt into Zen, and only then will both be complete. The man who has lived outside has lived very superficially. And the man who does not know anything about the inner, knows nothing about the existential, about the eternal…The outer and the inner part of one existence.

I want Zorba to be Buddhas and vice verse…In the completion of Zorba and Zen, a tremendous quality comes to your life; you relish every moment of the outside world, every flower of the outside world. And you relish simultaneously the inner freedom, the inner joy, the inner drunkenness. Humanity has lived in a divided way, and that has been a catastrophe. It is the people who are meditators not to allow themselves to escape from the world…Only in completion is there bliss. Only in completion have you come home.”

Osho, Zen Manifesto

Constantly on fire

Whoever said that the spiritual path was easy? Spirituality doesn’t mean that you are having a quiet, nice life. That you are always in zen mode and that nothing can disturb your peace. It’s quite on the contrary and spirituality means consistently being on fire. It requires that you allow yourself to be reduced to ashes. Over and over again. Until you become the clearest and purest version of yourself and a channel for spirit. What is to die will also give way to rise. You are given this life because you are strong enough to live it.

The Crone Years

Photo: Lina Michal Model: Ingmari Lamy

Once again, the Crone is reaching me and whispers in my ear. She draws me like no other and I see her as pure beauty. I am not bothered by the wrinkles or the gray hair. The decrepitude that many see due to labels and what we are taught about age. She who has been the Maiden and the Mother and who holds infinite wisdom in her Crone years without the need and desire to proof and display it. She, who sees things that are unjust and yet chooses her battles depending on value and worth.

“When I’m a Crone, I will own my name. There won’t be room for others “haggard” projections, making me out to be a woman who has lost her sexual vitality. Or a woman who has lost her purpose because I’m no longer fertile.

When I am a Crone I will worship my body. I will bask in the sweet caresses of my beloved. And he will wash my feet, because he is in reverence of my journey.

When I am Crone I will wear the crescent moon on my forehead, because I have lived through many moons and each cycle has made me wiser. I am a High Priestess ordained by the Earth itself. My age, and the trials that have come with it, have made me powerful. My voice is needed!

When I am Crone I will lead the circle. I’ll facilitate activities to make our community stronger. I will speak my truth!

When I am Crone I will celebrate death. I will be by my friends bedsides when they transition. And I will cheer them on! As they enter the next phase of their journey.

When I am Crone I will have no fear. Because I have lived through the battles. I have moved through my insecurities. I have learned to embrace who I am and I AM who I want to be.

I am now a pillar for the community, the wise and wholly CRONE!

~Aurora FaeTerra

Native American Indian spirituality Laws

Painting by Autumn Skye called “Forgotten Elders”

Another post that spoke to me is turning into another share on this blog. As the year is coming to an end, I found this article by Matthew Beuno as a perfect reminder and in perfect timing to close out one phase and to enter another.

He mentions that there are four Native American Indian Spirituality Laws that say nothing happens without reason in life. When you understand this, it’s very easy to handle and you confidently look at what’s happening, thankful for what was there and happy for what’s going to happen. This couldn’t have spoke to me more and see myself as having arrived at that point. Perhaps it is the point of there.

The 1st law says: “The person you meet is the right one.”

That is, no one comes into our lives by accident, all the people around us who interact with us, stand for something, either educate us or to help us in our situation.

The 2nd law says: “What happens is the only thing that can happen.”

Nothing but absolutely nothing of what happens to us could have been different. Not even the most insignificant detail. There just isn’t “If I had done it differently…it would have been differently…” No, what happens is the only thing that can happen and needs to happen, so we can learn our lessons to get ahead. Everything, yes, every situation that happens to us in life is absolutely perfect, even when our spirit resists our ego and doesn’t want to accept it.

The 3rd law says: “Every moment when something starts is the right time.”

Everything starts at the right time, not sooner or later. When we are ready for something new in our life, it’s already there to begin with.

The 4th law says: “What’s over is over.”

It’s that simple. When something ends in our life, it serves our development. Thats why it’s better to let go and move forward, bestowed on the experiences that have now been gained.

If you stumbled across this post and if you are reading this, I don’t think it’s a coincidence. If this text meets you today, it’s because you meet the conditions and understand that no rain drop anywhere in the world accidentally falls in the wrong place.

Let it go well….

Love with your whole being….

Being happy without end….

Every day is a happy, happy day!

I am. You are. We are one.

Holding space for another person

Has somebody ever told you that they are holding space for you? Most likely this would have happened in a moment and a time where you were vulnerable, where you could be wounded or perhaps was, or as you need a break to breathe and regather your strength. If you have heard this phrase, it most likely came from a spiritual, unconventional soul. An empath, someone who feels deeply, who has compassion and a love for humanity. Perhaps these words were spoken from someone who was able to see the challenges and struggles we can face from time to time. Perhaps that someone has walked the path themselves, and therefore finds it easy to relate. Perhaps that someone is paying forward the wisdom and the experiences that they themselves have gathered before us. Perhaps that someone has been in our shoes and knows what it feels like.

So what is this expression of holding space for someone? Heather Plett has explained it perfectly and it means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control. Have you ever encountered someone holding space for you, or perhaps have you held space for another person?

Sneak peek – “Wave” teaser

I just can’t help myself and I have to interrupt my regular scheduled post, to bring you a little taste of “The Wave.” If you follow this blog then you know that I embarked on a huge adventure for me and here is one of my very own pictures. The full write up or write ups will follow shortly to describe this 10 mile journey round trip with all its challenges and obstacles. But what a reward and it’s definitely a magical, spiritual place. In the meantime we are homeward bound and safe and sound. Stay tuned…