At the beginning of the year, I wrote a long post, kind of a mission statement I could apply for the year ahead, a promise to myself. In it I asked all versions of myself, my soul, my higher self, my shadow self and my inner child to come forward, and together work as one. To shed separate agendas and you feel equally valued and important. To feel equally loved and acknowledged, and to support me in working for one mission and one goal.
You may have heard me talk about the inner child before and here is an excerpt from the prominent psycho spiritual counselor and mentor, Mateo Sol.
“Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity and playfulness.”
Reconnecting with your inner child allows you to access the fragmented parts of yourself so that you can discover the root of your phobias, fears, insecurities and self worth.
So why should you need to reconnect to your inner child you might wonder. I think the main reason is for healing as trauma is often stored during the early years, during childhood, when we don’t have the necessary tools to process it correctly. Revisiting and reconnecting to your inner child later in life, allows you to process these instances and ultimately set you free.
“When you free the Inner Child – you free the adult also.” -Alcazar
Here are some signs that you may have a wounded inner child:
- You feel that there is something wrong with you, in the deepest parts of yourself
- You experience anxiety when going out of your comfort zone
- You are a people pleaser
- You don’t have a strong sense of identity
- You deliberately like being in conflict with people around you
- You’re a hoarder of things, emotions, people, and you have a hard time letting go
- You feel inadequate as a man or a woman
- You constantly criticize yourself for your supposed inadequacy
- You’re unforgiving to yourself, rigid and a perfectionist
- You have a hard time committing and trusting
- You have deep abandonment issues and would cling to relationships, even when they are toxic
If any of this rings a bell, you might ask what the next step is and how you can reconnect with your inner child.
One way you can do this is in the form of writing a letter to your inner child. You can apologize if you feel you’re living a life that doesn’t honor your inner child. Or you could write a simple letter explaining that you wish to build a stronger relationship with your inner child in your life going forward.
And this is exactly what happened as I write that long post mentioned above, encouraging all versions of myself to work together. Feeling equally important and loved. It was my inner child that responded first to my written letter. I was getting ready to take a shower, sitting in front of my vanity, while removing the last traces of make up from the day, when I noticed it (again). When I say again it’s because in hindsight I recalled it happening a few times throughout the day, in specific after finishing that post, but it was then, that evening that it hit me and I truly noticed. Here I was looking in the mirror and my inner child starred back at me. Let me explain: of course it was me, my head, my current face etc. but I had the reddest and rosiest cheeks ever. Everything else was normal, my temperature, everything checked out. I wasn’t running or doing anything that could have brought this on and as a matter of face it seldom happens period and I am not a rosy cheek person.
I do remember it happening in Germany in 2018 while I was there to care for Mom. I was doing inner child work due to the belief of losing a part of my soul during the traumatic death of my Dad when I was ten years old. I underwent a soul retrieval where my ten year old self was integrated and returned to me. I know it sounds intense and it indeed was a very emotional time for me.
Being reunited with my ten year old self that fled my soul in a trauma response to my fathers sudden death, I remember spending time by making my inner child feel as welcome and safe as possible. One night I cooked alphabet soup that I had always loved as a child. I even wrote a post about it titled Alphabet soup back in May 2018
I connected the dots and my sense of truth about my inner child paying me a visit, then, and today was so strong. I just knew and she made herself noticeable with her rosy cheeks.
I had no idea that only a few hours later, my shadow self would come to visit me as well. Perhaps to join the pact and all versions of myself, to get onboard my mission working towards a common goal, but that’s another story, for another time. Stay tuned. 😉