I’m not going to write about Mom much, although she has been on my mind nonstop. I will say that things have been tough the last few days. I still have not talked to her and I feel mentally exhausted and drained. I have to get out of this funk and it’s a place that doesn’t have anything good for me. It’s a black hole that brings painful emotions and struggle.
If I believe my own advice and trust my intuition, then I know that I am exactly where I need to be. Regardless of how tough the situation might be, how stretched I feel and how much I struggle, tonight I remember that change is always upon us, and that we only struggle if we resist. Actually, it was my friend Dominique who wrote Buddha’s quote in her post and reminded me of this powerful belief. There is a reason as to why I’m here and why I’m facing the dark. Maybe it only appears that way because of how I perceived it, because everything and life as I know it is changing. It brings a certain discomfort about the unknown and I have to trust that everything will be ok. Perhaps more than just ok. Maybe it is something that I have to cross in order to let my soul stand in eternal light. It is a test, the test of my life and I shall choose wildly to make it worthwhile. Yes wildly…
If I believe in my own spiritual guidance, I have to remember what I said in a prior post and about the meaning that life always provides. The signs are here and yesterday morning one came to find me from the animal spirit world.
It was early morning and I was getting ready for work. I felt tired after a restless night, and I had woken on several occasions in panic. I was making coffee as the ruckus outside started and it was not hard to figure out that it was a crow. I knew their distinctive calls and it wasn’t anything too unusual since many birds can be seen around my neighborhood. What was unusual was that the screeching noise continued, as if it was upset about something. I opened the curtains and saw a big black Raven sitting on the power lines right in front of me. Nothing less around, just one Raven with no apparent reason to be upset. I stood and stared for awhile as we made eye contact and the noise eventually stopped. He held my stare and I felt as if the Raven had came to pay a visit and the screeching was to get my attention. I later researched the potential meaning of my visitor and found this description from Dr. Steven Farmer.
You’re on the verge of manifesting something you’ve been working towards for a while. Be very watchful over the next couple of days for any clear omens or signs that will guide you and teach you. Expect a big change very soon. You’ve noticed something that’s out of balance or an injustice that hasn’t been addressed and it’s important to speak up about it. You’re about to get a glimpse into some future event that affects you directly. Magic is in the air, and something special is about to happen. Pay attention to your dreams and visions, especially colorful and powerful ones, as they are indicative of prophecy. In any undertaking or in any relationship, be very clear as to what your intentions are, because whatever they are, that’s what will manifest. Your gradually shape-shifting to a more confident, powerful, and spiritually-based you that will continue to emerge the more you let go of your old self. You’ll observe an increasing number of synchronistic events over the next few days, so just notice these, appreciate them, and don’t try to figure them out.
I recently commented to someone that I feel that my life and I have to die in order to be reborn. The old has to make way for the new and Raven spirit reminded me of such. A pretty incredible message I’d say and what is even more amazing is this little sample of one of my paintings. I experimented with multi media which I actually do often. I immediately recalled the Raven after my spirit visit and that painting now, has even more meaning to me. I could have painted or chosen any animal, but a Raven found it’s final place. Why….Perhaps a message in the making, perhaps a message that has reached it’s rightful time.