Posted in Inspiration, Spirit animals

Love Birds

On my little outing last night, I noticed this playful, loving pair, and thought to myself that they must be love birds. Grooming each other, they sat on the stone city wall, unfazed by the people passing by.

Fern (my little bus) was with me, but I didn’t get a picture there. As I keep you in suspense, i promise to write a detailed post. You now know that the bus stopped in a city with a old stone wall. It’s one of my favorite places and I took lots of pictures to share with you.

As far as spirit animals, I saw a stork in the distance, a fish and these pigeons. Tonight I focus on the message from the pigeons and sleep well.

“You are receiving true divine guidance through your feelings and intuition. Trust it.”

Posted in Life, Spirit animals

A little visitor

I didn’t feel all that well today. I don’t know what was wrong, besides a lump in my throat, and feeling cold and lightheaded. In addition I was a little nerved about something of the past. I got a bit homesick, and identified home for the first time as the states. Perhaps it was just the familiar, my own four walls, the standards that are a given there, my convenience of my car and my time outdoors that I missed. Of course this list is not all inclusive, but it is a constant reminder. And for the first time I wondered and seriously thought about what’s next. How is all this going to continue? I never made it to see Mom today and I’m sure she is wondering. I’m sure someone would have driven me had I asked, but here too applies the question of how this can continue over time.

I welcomed back a little visitor today. It was the stray cat Mom used to feed, and which had come to see me before.

With her she brought a reminder that it is all about timing and action, as well as the courage to explore the unknown. I felt a few such moments yesterday, moments of the past, things unfinished, and words that have been left unspoken. Something that was misunderstood, and left to ones own perception of the truth. I have learned that perception is often the furthest from the truth, but to the person perceiving, it is everything and it couldn’t be truer. Many of times I have found myself in between, stuck in an unfortunate spot, and misunderstood. Perhaps I didn’t side with someone and the other party got upset that I stayed neutral and objective. How could I not agree and participate, why did the gossip stop with me? Perhaps it was never important enough to consider my side, and the person perceiving didn’t care to have an open mind. I didn’t matter enough for such consideration. There loss? Sure have I felt like this at times, but the empath in me always prefers peace and harmony, while the warrior in me will always fight for what is right. I felt something yesterday, but initially the timing wasn’t right to talk about it. Later on at home it was, and timing, courage and action all fell into place. I felt it was the right moment, and I at least had to try. I had the courage and that was never the issue. I choose a message vs a personal approach only so I wouldn’t forget something important. After all I felt this would be my only chance, and I had to be certain that I gave it my best shot. Now was the time, only to discover that I had no wifi. Guess it will have to wait a little longer.

Posted in Spirit animals

Little spirit visitor

I had one of Moms feline visitors come see me this morning. While I enjoyed the sun shining into my room, my little visitor was already enjoying a sunny spot in front of the main door. I could see her shadow from the other side as I went downstairs to unlock the door and catch some sun myself. I had seen her before, but unlike all the other times, this time she stayed for some reason. She allowed me to pet her and cuddled against me, purring with each stroke. Like me, Mom always had a big heart for animals and I enjoyed spending some time with the stray kitty that stops by every now and then to be fed. I was tempted to give her some food, but refrained in the end, afraid of creating a habit and being unable to care for her in the future. Instead I wondered what brought on the shift in kitties attitude and what message she had to bring me today.

The cat totem tells us about timing in action and courage to explore the unknown. Cat is a reminder to develop balance between independence and time of togetherness. Harmonious relationships between light and dark, action and observation are also attributed to cat spirit. Cat will lead you on a profound journey of self discovery. Cat carries many meanings, revolving around balance between seemingly opposites, such as inner and outer, action and rest, light and dark. It’s strongly symbolic of what usually hides in darkness or the unknown. Cat generally represents:

  • Patience, waiting for the right moment to act
  • Independence, yet enjoying social connections
  • Spirit of adventure, courage
  • Deep, relaxed connection with self
  • Healing from the inside out
  • Curiosity, exploration of the unknown or the unconscious

I believe I got my message today, which I’m all actuality is confirming what I’m currently experiencing. At least some of the things, while I have a little more work to do with others.

I often wonder if others believe in the signs from the spirits and the universe. If they are noticed and if they are taken serious. For me they are, and it doesn’t matter that I have no facts to back them up. I feel them strongly within, a guide and way of communication from the universe. Although my animal spirits have been rare, I have seen a few others since I arrived and each time the meaning couldn’t have been any clearer.

Posted in Life, Spirit animals

Spirit sighting

Driving home from my girlfriends, we spotted the first animal spirit sighting. It had snowed during dinner and we took it easy, gliding over the wet, potentially slippery roads. Coming around a bend, we saw the wobbly, low ground creature walking along the road. We immediately slowed but didn’t engage the breaks too hard in an attempt to avoid slipping right off the road. We both held our breath as the creature turned towards the middle of the road and hitting it was the last thing we wanted. Luckily, it decided on pro-life and turned back to the side of the road where he had come from. A moment of silence and relief came next as we were trying to comprehend what it was that we just seen. Laughter followed as Angie (my girlfriend) said “I think it was a badger”. I knew that there are badgers in the area and I had seen warning signs hiking in the woods during a prior visit, but it was probably the last thing I expected to see. I had no clue if they would attack if encountered or run from you. My animal spirit world had finally spoken, and it’s been quiet for the past three weeks. Not that I really have been anywhere besides spending time with Mom, but I missed my messages. A sign was finally sent, and I told my girlfriend that I would have to look up the meaning of encountering a badger. The circumstance for sure were unusual and there had to be some sort of message. She looked at me surprised, and knowing that she doesn’t follow my blog or read English, I think that she learned something new about me, her girlfriend of thirty, plus years. We laughed, but that very night as soon as I arrived back at the house, you bet that I looked up the spiritual meaning of the badger and here is my message.

“Don’t give up now! You are so close to the goal you are reaching for! Have faith and focus on gratitude for what you have already achieved.”


Angie seemed skeptic about my spirit animal encounter, and I have yet to tell her what the message was from my friend the badger. It’s funny to think back to our conversation that happened prior that night and it makes me smile even bigger. Bringing Angie up to date with everything that had happened, she was stunned and amazed with everything I seemed to have achieved over the past three weeks. If miracles are possible, this was pretty close to one, and she knew how grateful I was for the things that did find it’s way. Things with Mom, the main purpose for my visit, the help and support I have gotten from my family and friends, the love my army standing behind me-YOU have shown me, and being able to go through this journey by finding the strength to go on. Nothing about it is easy, and there is news that I haven’t even shared yet, but I have lots to be grateful for no matter how tough and difficult things are. I love that I have not lost my sense of humor through it all, for I would lose myself in the process of it, should this ever happen. I believe in laughter and have to be able to laugh at yourself, and at things happening at times, to prevent the unhealthy crazy. You already know that I believe a little crazy is essential and the new normal these days, but too much, well that’s a different story I call the unhealthy kind. And you already know that I’m a big kid that is easily amused, trying to find the humor and upside/lesson to everything happening in life. You already know that I’m a pessimist, a dreamer that believes in the good and is seldom discouraged. I’m grateful for my ability to adapt to times like these, to be strong when it counts, and when I have to be because there is no other option. Being a warrior and this journey has brought new meaning to my life and I am too, have changed in the process of these past weeks. For the better I think and I’m positive that I have grown through the pain and the struggle once more.I can’t wait to tell Angie about the spiritual meaning and I’m almost tempted to tell her in person to see the element of surprise on her face. My furry badger (wow, was he huge) in a way confirmed what Angie had spoken about earlier that evening and we will see if she’ll make the connection. 😉

Picture taken from google 😉

Posted in Inspiration, Spirit animals

Heron Spirit Animal

While sitting at the river, watching the white waters swirl around the rock, a Heron flew past me and carried a message for my journey. Once again I find it intriguing and absolutely astonishing, of how these signs appear at what seems to be perfect timing. Ready for the next step, to receive a new message, another piece of guidance falls into place, and the teacher once more speaks to a student that is ready to see. Something out of the ordinary always finds it’s way into my world, while making me pause and consider what advice is to be considered.

And here is what this beautiful bird had to say while passing by.

You’ve approached the opportunity before you at a leisurely pace, but now it’s time to grab it and go for it with gusto. By meeting this challenging situation head-on, you’ll discover that you have some powerful gifts and skills that you are unaware of. If one way isn’t working, try another; and don’t get stuck in any single approach. Spend a day or two with no plans or agenda, guided only by your intuition – whether a day of activity, quiet reflection, or a combination. Take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions, rather than blaming others or life circumstances. ~description taken from Dr. Steven Farmer.

With Germany around the corner, I say…”It is time”.

Sadly I didn’t get to photograph the Heron flying by, but this beautiful blooming tree was in the same spot.

Posted in Spirit animals

Hawk visit

I was greeted this morning by the hawk spirit. Silently a young hawk was sitting in my backyard, enjoying the first light. Not a peep or anything came from him, but I still felt his presence. Something compelled me to draw back the curtains and take a closer look. There he was, looking right at me, a beautiful young bird in the morning glow while never losing eye contact. I opened the slider and stood within a few feet of him. “Good morning my friend, what message are you bringing my way” I heard myself say. I have become so accustomed to the signs around me that my mind immediately drifts to understand the meaning of these unusual encounters. His message couldn’t have been more potent at this time and here is what hawk has to tell me this morning.

You’re caught up in too many details, so step back so you can get a greater perspective on the situation. Stay alert and focused on the task before you, eliminating as many distractions as possible. Spend some time observing and studying the situation, and when it’s time for action, make it quick and decisive. Pay close attention to your surroundings, as you’re about to receive an important message. Be aware of any personal or physic attacks, and be prepared to defend yourself. STOP TRYING TO CHNAGE OTHERS OR THE SITUATION, AND WORK INSTEAD ON ACCEPTING THINGS AS THEY ARE.

It couldn’t have been any clearer as I’m preparing to do exactly that. If you lessen your expectation, you will lessen your disappointments and I look forward to pleasant surprises, if anything.

Picture from a few years back and making a splash. 💙🦋

Posted in Photography, Spirit animals

Horse spirit

My dear friend Irene left a comment on my recent horse encounter wondering what they had to teach me. I didn’t even think of it at first, but after reading her comment, I knew it was a special sign to see these wild beauties, and being allowed to get so close to them. I decided to post another picture of a prior encounter, and this picture reminds me of a special day. This one was on the way up to Virginia City where the horses roam freely and often cross over the road.

The signs are strong right now, or maybe I’m even more in tune with accepting this guidance. I still haven’t talked to Mom and she is not answering the phone. She has locked herself in and I’m hoping attempts to attain a key somehow have been successful to grant access to her apartment if needed. It might also be the very reason she doesn’t feel like talking to me and I wish she would understand that it is not because anyone wants to get into her business, but because everybody is worried about her. She has fallen before and laid there for hours without help, you would think she understands. Sadly not so, and while I’m worried and left work early yesterday out of lack of concentration and my mind being elsewhere, I know that some things are out of my control. Her choices and the decisions she makes are one of them.

But here is the so said picture of the beautiful wild horses with their spiritual meaning.

Horse: You’re about to embark on an unexpected adventure and will have to move very quickly once’s it’s initiated. It’s time to free yourself from those physically and emotionally constricting aspects of your life. You need to call upon reserves of stamina and strength to get you through this ordeal. You’re much more powerful than you think you are. This situation requires strong warrior energy, balanced with sensitivity, patience, and compassion. Teamwork with your family, friends, or community is important right now.

Could this message be any clearer? Wow….time to wear the warrior bonnet once more and channel my inner warrior.

Posted in Inspiration, Spirit animals

A sign from the spirits

I’m not going to write about Mom much, although she has been on my mind nonstop. I will say that things have been tough the last few days. I still have not talked to her and I feel mentally exhausted and drained. I have to get out of this funk and it’s a place that doesn’t have anything good for me. It’s a black hole that brings painful emotions and struggle.

If I believe my own advice and trust my intuition, then I know that I am exactly where I need to be. Regardless of how tough the situation might be, how stretched I feel and how much I struggle, tonight I remember that change is always upon us, and that we only struggle if we resist. Actually, it was my friend Dominique who wrote Buddha’s quote in her post and reminded me of this powerful belief. There is a reason as to why I’m here and why I’m facing the dark. Maybe it only appears that way because of how I perceived it, because everything and life as I know it is changing. It brings a certain discomfort about the unknown and I have to trust that everything will be ok. Perhaps more than just ok. Maybe it is something that I have to cross in order to let my soul stand in eternal light. It is a test, the test of my life and I shall choose wildly to make it worthwhile. Yes wildly…

If I believe in my own spiritual guidance, I have to remember what I said in a prior post and about the meaning that life always provides. The signs are here and yesterday morning one came to find me from the animal spirit world.

It was early morning and I was getting ready for work. I felt tired after a restless night, and I had woken on several occasions in panic. I was making coffee as the ruckus outside started and it was not hard to figure out that it was a crow. I knew their distinctive calls and it wasn’t anything too unusual since many birds can be seen around my neighborhood. What was unusual was that the screeching noise continued, as if it was upset about something. I opened the curtains and saw a big black Raven sitting on the power lines right in front of me. Nothing less around, just one Raven with no apparent reason to be upset. I stood and stared for awhile as we made eye contact and the noise eventually stopped. He held my stare and I felt as if the Raven had came to pay a visit and the screeching was to get my attention. I later researched the potential meaning of my visitor and found this description from Dr. Steven Farmer.

Crow/Raven spirit

You’re on the verge of manifesting something you’ve been working towards for a while. Be very watchful over the next couple of days for any clear omens or signs that will guide you and teach you. Expect a big change very soon. You’ve noticed something that’s out of balance or an injustice that hasn’t been addressed and it’s important to speak up about it. You’re about to get a glimpse into some future event that affects you directly. Magic is in the air, and something special is about to happen. Pay attention to your dreams and visions, especially colorful and powerful ones, as they are indicative of prophecy. In any undertaking or in any relationship, be very clear as to what your intentions are, because whatever they are, that’s what will manifest. Your gradually shape-shifting to a more confident, powerful, and spiritually-based you that will continue to emerge the more you let go of your old self. You’ll observe an increasing number of synchronistic events over the next few days, so just notice these, appreciate them, and don’t try to figure them out.

I recently commented to someone that I feel that my life and I have to die in order to be reborn. The old has to make way for the new and Raven spirit reminded me of such. A pretty incredible message I’d say and what is even more amazing is this little sample of one of my paintings. I experimented with multi media which I actually do often. I immediately recalled the Raven after my spirit visit and that painting now, has even more meaning to me. I could have painted or chosen any animal, but a Raven found it’s final place. Why….Perhaps a message in the making, perhaps a message that has reached it’s rightful time.

Posted in Family, Spirit animals

Deer spirit animal

I have noticed an abundance of deer lately and it seems they have appeared anywhere. Not just one or two which occasionally happens as well, but I’m talking about herds of deer and groupings everywhere. Yes the area around me is prone to deer, but it’s the sheer number of sightings that has gotten my attention. What is even more unusual, is that there have been quite a few buck sightings which has always been extremely rare. I used to see one every blue moon, but now, for some reason they are not all that uncommon anymore.

I went to revisit the spiritual meaning of of this animal to see if there was another message to be learned. It appears to go hand in hand with some of the advice you have given me and it is said that when a deer leaps into your life, it is time to be compassionate towards others and yourself. Deer belongs to those who shine the light so others may find their way home. Deer spirit is invoked to create peace in your sphere.

It all makes sense now…

I have been trying to do my best, to take care of myself and to stay calm, but in the end I know that life is filled with pieces of turmoil and my inner peace hangs in the balance. Deer spirit is a reminder for peace and to shine the light to those who feel they are lost in the dark. Mom lost her big toe on the other foot, for the most part she is doing well. The nurses are always surprised how quickly her legs go bad and reach a critical point, one that is close to amputation, and how quickly they recover in the hospital with proper care and regulated food and medicine. It is clear that this cycle will repeat over and over and that Mom cant handle this alone anymore. She might think she is in control and does everything as directed, but clearly she isn’t. Just try to tell her different, a mule is less stubborn than she is. I’m still amazed that our birthdays are only a day apart but how different we are in personalities. Characteristics of sharing the same astrology sign is a total miss in our case.

She is facing rehabilitation and losing a big toe will offset her balance in a great way. She could tip over, feel unstable and she better take that darn walker for whatever time necessary. That’s all I can say and think of right now. No matter how deep I dig there is no compassion for shenanigans and my compassion for her involves what’s best for her and her getting well, not foolish pride, stubbornness or thinking that she doesn’t need a walker. She fell, what else needs to happen? I truly hope that she has changed her mind and gained some insight and wisdom with this experience.

At twilight on the way home…