Posted in Life, music

Lady in Black – Uriah Heep

Lady in Black, translated to the Jesus Ballad is what we sang in church on Sunday. I had to look up the video, and I was just a child as the song came out. So mich time has passed since, but the song has found a new welcome and meaning in my life.

Today was a tough day with Mom, and I had to walk away. I didn’t want to, but I had to. Sad, hurt, frustrated and angry at the same time, it felt as if my heart broke. I couldn’t help thinking that she didn’t deserve me being there by the way she was acting. And I surely didn’t deserve the way she behaved. She said powerful and mean things today, as I try to remember her misery and struggles of being in a place she doesn’t want to be. She has no clue, and like so many other times before, today was no different, she pushed me away, again. Only to do it in person vs. on the phone this time.

I’m undecided of whether I want to go see her tomorrow or not. I’m still dissecting what happened and i haven’t come terms to even talk about it in detail. In one respect I don’t want to reward her, coming back all the time no matter how bad she treats me. I think it would be as if given the silent approval that it is ok. On the other hand, I’m nothing like her, and I don’t hold grudges that turn to rage and contempt.

I am glad that I’m not like that and miss out on so much because of my own stubbornness. Chances are I will go…

This song was a big part of me while growing up. Once more it found its way back into my life in church the other day, and I think it’s time to take it to the next level. I’ve decided that there is no better song, with more meaning for my “Now”, than this one. I think that it is perfect and powerful, with a hidden meaning and strength for me. I will give it my best effort trying to learn how to play it on my guitar.

Posted in music

Still at it

I’m still at it, trying to learn how to play this unique percussion instrument called the didgeridoo. The circular breathing is a bit of a trick but essential to make the continued sound. I can’t wait to play a little something for you all. 😉

Posted in Life, music

Two Lungs by Mogli

There are two lungs in my chest, only one breaks my heart. Lyrics by Mogli…

I have been a fan of Mogli ever since I came across Expedition Happiness. It is the journey of a german couple who came to the US, bought and converted a school bus to a home on wheels and drove it from Alaska to Mexico. I’ve been hooked to pursue that lifestyle ever since and I’m positive that the day will come when I purchase my own bus and make this a reality.

Posted in Inspiration, music

Finding my “Sweet Spot”

As you might know, I got two music instruments for Christmas, one being a ukulele and the other a Didgeridoo. A little habit formed, and when I get home for work, I play them to practice and soothe my nerves. That was as far as the ukulele goes, and the sound of it is very peaceful and relaxing. While I can see progress in my play with it, it was the Didgeridoo that would offset that peace and I couldn’t play it for the life of me. How do you blow into this long hollow piece of wood and make “that” sound. My efforts were a far cry from it, and a painful attempt. A few times I even got so frustrated with it that I didn’t pick it up for a day or two and just played the Uke. I thought I’d never get the hang of it and thought if all fails, it would look beautiful hanging on the wall with it’s intricate design.

Thank god for YouTube videos right, which I watched quite a few. I came across this guy talking about the “Sweet Spot” and it describes pretty much what it’s like to pick up the Didgeridoo and being able to make “that” unique and unmistaken sound. “Relax your lips” he said, which presented an entirely different struggle given that the round opening of the wood is pressed up against your lips to make a tight seal. How do you relax?

The long sound is described as a drone and to play it continuously you have to practice a method that is called the circular breathing technique. In other words, you blow air into your Didge while trying to breath in through your nose. My mind can’t even comprehend the thought of it and just try it out and you know what I mean. Either way, he instructed to not even bother with circular breathing until you have found your “sweet spot”. I was determined, but frustration also had it and I wondered why the heck I couldn’t do it. Would I ever know, and how long would it take, were all questions running through my mind. Not knowing what I was doing wrong, how could I change direction, do something different and get away from the painful and awful sounds that I was producing?

Here and there, I briefly found the “Sweet Spot” but it never lasted long enough to actually remember how it came to be. Last night, after work and after not playing it for a couple of days, I picked up my Didge. I took it out of it’s protective carrying bag and wrapped my hand around it. I held it for a few seconds, while looking at the beautiful painted markings that adorn it. I was motivated and today would be the day, thinking in my mind that I can do this. “Come on, you are going to work with me and we are going to do this together”, I silently thought, focusing my mind and energy on the long hollow wooden pipe while holding it. And then I started and set it to my lips. First, came the painful sounds, mixed in with the occasional short sample of the drone sound. I was fading in and out of the sound as I took the Didge away from my mouth and was afraid to stop, thinking that by tomorrow I would go back to the same painful sounds.

I picked it back up this morning and almost immediately produced that deep, vibrational sound. Although at times it takes me a second, it appears that I have found my “Sweet Spot” and somehow know how to get back to it. I couldn’t be more excited about it and it feels like I have tried way too hard before. I tried to force something that wasn’t ready and only as I surrendered and gave up control was I able to produce this beautiful sound in perfect harmony with the instrument. It’s crazy how things work out sometimes and I think this was a lesson with many meanings, applied to play and life itself. In the end I’m reminded that nothing can be forced and all develops in due time and when ready.

I’m attaching a video to it to share the sound with you and to show you what I’m after.

Next lesson: Circular breathing…wish me luck

Posted in Hiking, music

Trail music

A few years ago, I had the chance watching someone play the ukulele on the four mile trail. It was in Yosemite National Park as a small group of hikers passed us on the steep trail to Glacier point. I noticed the small music instrument strapped to one of their packs and I could only imagine the moments shared between this young group and the songs played. Memories would be made and special moments where waiting to be created. Wanderlust at it’s finest for sure.

Luck would have it that a short while later the young group was taking a break which allowed us to catch up. We were treated to a small excerpt from a song and it was simply magical. I will never forget this moment and it was beyond cool to experience this trail spirit. Ever since, I have been talking about getting a ukulele and the subject comes up here and there, although I don’t know how to play one. It was like one of those unusual things that all of a sudden pop into my mind, when I feel that there is some sort of connection with it. Kind of like the rain boots that I wanted all of a sudden to relive a childhood memory of jumping into the water puddles without a care. It’s something like that, something that will enrich the experience and soothe my soul. Well guess what’s? Look what Santa brought! Looks like I’m going to learn how to play the ukulele and Santa’s Elves made one for me. Heaven help the wildlife that I will serenade soon. 😉💙🦋

Posted in Art, music

Painting Music

Hey, my life is pretty busy these days, but I’m carving a little time to engage into the relaxing activity of painting and with any luck I will manage to start reading a great new novel “Watching Glass shatter” from Jay before drifting off to sleep. You need to check it out if you haven’t yet and read my prior review. What are you waiting on…

In the meantime I’m spending a little time on the “Orange Crush” painting, and no that will not really be it’s official and final title. It’s been a long time that I painted and it started with a painting that I have hanging in my office at work. I took it to work to share with a few people and I keep forgetting to take it home. By now, several people have seen it and commented on it, a few even wanted to buy it. Really? I’d probably tell it’s not good enough, but without a doubt am I flattered, honored and surprised all at the same time. I know that in the end we artists are always our worst critic, but REALLY? The compliments brought a burst of new inspiration and definitely some motivation. I even ran across a website today where I could potentially reproduce this so said work of random art. Who knows, maybe it’s another avenue worth exploring some day and maybe I should listen to the push’s that so many have tried to give me to pursue showcasing my art.

In the meantime I’m stealing a few moments to paint a part of my life onto canvas while relaxing to some tunes.


Posted in Emotions, music

Feels like Rain

It was 103 degrees today and another repeat of the same is on it’s way for tomorrow. Twice, another spirit animal (that I will discuss in a later post), paid me a visit each time I stepped out of the house. The meaning of such brought a big smile to my face once I learned about the message it was carrying for me. I have been feeling a certain anxiousness and a level of excitement these days as I wonder what other signs will reveal themselves and what’s next. Honestly, I love it and they reassure me of what I already know, gently nudging me to take yet another step.



A friend posted a different version of this song yesterday on Facebook and his post reminded me of how much I love this oldie but goody. It’s one of the ultimate love songs to get lost in and to make love to. It speaks to the romantic that lives within me and I’m sure the video will speak to every woman and every romantic soul watching it. As the sky darkened in the late afternoon, I heard thunder in the near distance. Shortly afterwards tears arrived from heaven as the raindrops fell, warm onto my skin. It felt good, filling me with life as I remembered the song in a dreamlike state of mind. One thing was missing today as I was dancing in the rain, allowing the drops to touch my skin and run down my body. I was alone…

Posted in Inspiration, music

A date with U2

The first day of the adventure starts with my fourth concert of U2.

An awesome band to see in concert and one of the very few bands that sound better live vs. the studio versions. I remember my first concert at the Rose Bowl during the 360 tour and it still is something that I can’t articulate and put into words. You see, it goes beyond the songs and the rhythm, as it is also the voice that fights to end poverty and world hunger. A group of talented musicians that stand up for human rights and uses it’s stardom to be heard. I think that’s very powerful indeed and it moved me emotionally on many different levels.

“Bad” remains as one of my favorite songs and if I could you know I would, if I could I would let it go….surrender.


Posted in Art, Buddhism, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, music, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Wisdom

Tired….so tired.

Ughhhh….I’m tired and if I wasn’t already, I definitely feel the holiday stresses catching up. More and more I find myself just vegetating away after work in the little time that seems to be left, playing a game on the iPad to relax and just “Be”. A game that requires no concentration while drowning out all noise as I play it in silent mode. The rest is filled with reading (my main read has been mailed off to be autographed and I’m waiting patiently for its return), when I’m not writing or another creative outlet to allow my mind to dangle carefree with not a single thought in mind. I had every intention to write this morning but my mind seems to be a bit foggy as it is resting up for another day of retail madness hahaha. I find myself sliding more and more towards the majority of people asking “Is it over yet?” and it truly makes me sad. It takes away from the true meaning of a time that should be filled with magic and wonder. I’m sure many people feel like this as the stresses mount and I hope you find time to pause and do something that allows your soul to marvel. Heck, I hope I do so myself. I feel like I’m sleeping my life away right now as I try to rest enough to stay healthy and make it through another day.
Another favorite outlet is music and art for me, which I often combine. Listening to music while creating something that is one of a kind is very soothing and feeds my ever growing need to create. It actually ties into one of the stages of spiritual awakening which will be the next chapter I write.

My paintings are fed by intuition and the events that happen in my life. Therefore they often become very personal to me as they remind me and resemble a certain time of my life. 

Here is an unfinished painting I started awhile back before I first stumbled across the article about spiritual awakening. It’s a bit creepy and you can see the similarities in my painting and the picture of the article, even though I had never seen it before. The Rays coming from the head, perhaps energy fields, waking up…..I’m not sure how my mind painted something I had never seen, something I would stumble across at a later time. You can imagine my astonishment and surprise as I saw the article. It looked strangely familiar, but I couldn’t place it at first until I saw my unfinished painting sitting in the corner, resembling those same lines emitting from the person. ??????

Creepy? What do you think….? Was my mind and subconscious trying to show me something? Divine intervention perhaps? A nudge from the divine universe?

The picture from the article I read…..

My unfinished painting….notice the lines and eyes closed in both pictures as if taking in a greater meaning, awareness, a spiritual awakening of the mind.