Welcome to new word Monday on a Tuesday and the New moon made me do it.
Today’s word describes how I felt last week while learning that my Uncle in Germany passed away from Covid.
Ambedo (n) a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details – raindrops skittering down a window, which in my case was droplets and water on the shower glass door. It could be clouds of cream in your coffee, clouds passing you by, and really anything, that leads to a dawning awareness of the haunting fragility of life.
While we carry on with our business as usual most of the time, we are also visited with reminders, just how delicate, complex and fragile we truly are. Something could go wrong at any moment, no two days are alike and what was yesterday may not be our tomorrow. Each day is a precious gift. For us and those who get to enjoy our company. More than ever I am totally tuned in to this precious gift and it’s awareness.
I have made a big effort to stay in such a awareness. To not it let it go until another tragedy strikes where I am reminded of my own mortality, but to stay in its awareness and realize that my time is not guaranteed. Not to the point where it consumes or scared me, but to a point of constant and consistent gratefulness and appreciation of living yet another day.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff”, has a whole new meaning and believe me that one day you will see that most of what you were sweating was the small stuff. In another context it is the small stuff that will add up some day and become the big stuff. So don’t take it for granted and take moment to admire the beautiful sunset. Somehow I have always known this and while I feel that I have always tried to stay aware, another level has been made available to deepen this awareness further, making it even more profound.
The way I do this is to marvel more. To stop and like they say “smell the roses.” Have you done this lately, touched a actual flower bud, felt it’s texture and saw it’s beauty? I try to see each day with new eyes, discovering the world like a child must see things for the first time. Innocent and in wonder and amazement. I try to make each day count in some way, doing something special, nurturing my soul the best I can. I am gentle with myself these days. I am entering my crone years.
I just thought of something neat that I might actually do myself. Most of us have phones that can quickly snap a picture of something, anytime, anywhere.
“What if you captured only one picture per day. Something that brought a smile, something that touched your heart. Put it in a special folder on your phone that you can pull up every time you need a little pick me up. At the end of the year you can arrange your pictures into a photo book and print it out. Looking back, smiling in gratitude, never taking for granted the beauty of each day. How cool would that be?”