I bought a one way ticket to Germany, although things are far from being settled here. A one way ticket with no return date. I do know that I will to be back for one reason or another, I just don’t know when. In the meantime life and all financial obligations will continue here as if I have never left. It’s a lot to deal with, but I will do it. I feel moments of weakness and I want to be selfish. Life hasn’t been easy and for once I feel the need to take care of myself, but I can’t. I am entering unfamiliar and dangerous waters and there might come a time when I do have to make myself the priority, but not just yet.
My emotions are all over the place right now, but it’s the right thing to do. This is not about me and it definitely will not be once I get to Germany. I leave on the 27th of February and I leave behind everything and the life I know and have built in an effort to see how and how much I can help Mom. Although I have talked to my Boss about possibly going, work doesn’t even know yet and I guess I’m going one way or another. Approved or not, scary, but necessary.
I took a walk in the woods today and for over 7 Miles I pushed through the pain. Physically from the RA and emotionally from feeling overwhelmed. Every step was painful and felt as if it would be my last on this soil. I couldn’t help but feel sad and vulnerable.
I took a walk in the woods today and let the feelings freely pass through me. I was glad I didn’t work and that I was in a place where I didn’t had to fight back the tears and keep my feelings in check.
I took a walk in the woods today and felt moments of peace and moments of sorrow while letting the Forrest soothe my aching soul.
I took a walk in the woods today and held on to the trees during a steep descent down to the river. It was wet and slippery, a little risky and a little dangerous. I went for it this time, despite that I usually don’t, better judgement or not, I just did today. I saw a spot by a waterfall and wanted to sit there and just be. I watched the green, clear water swirl around the river rocks and cascade over the edge. I let my feeling spill over just like the waterfall and let it flow away downstream with the current.
I took a nap in the woods today, laying on my towel, grounding myself while feeling the earths energy, until I got cold a d had to move through more pain to warm up.
I took a walk in the woods today. I’m glad that I did and that you were all with me. I wasn’t alone and I was grateful for it. I will surely miss those times.
“There is no point in hurrying because you are not actually going anywhere. However far or long you plod, you are always in the same place: in the woods.” ~Bill Bryson – A walk in the woods Movie ♥️