I’m warning you right now that this might be a little bit of a rant coming on, but I always have been a rebel when it comes to the truth needing to be spoken. I say what’s on my mind without fear of approval from people who might not see eye to eye with what I have to say. Believe it or not but there is beauty in disagreeing, as long as it is constructive as I would never want to force my opinion onto others. My blog is an outlet to get things off of my chest, a way to shed another angle, a way to offer a new perspective, that’s all. And after all, we all experience times we need to rant here and there. Keeps me human/relatable like a dear friend would say, so here I go getting it off of my chest and already it feels like a plea for you to forgive me as I seldom rant.
Few things get under my skin but they usually always have to do with arrogance or a lack of respect. The things I am talking about often stem from rudeness, believing to be superior over others while treating them as servants, not worthy of their time. I believe respect is earned based on your actions and is not an automatic given because of title and status. And let’s just entertain the thought a little further and say you are the “boss” or the manager/supervisor holding that prestigious title, (laugh) why would you want to treat other human beings like that? Does it make you feel any better, do you finally feel important, riding that power trip, or is it that you think you know what it’s all about? Have you actually gained anything from it and what would others say about you and your proven technique….does it even matter to you? Most likely not as you are so self absorbed, failing to witness what is happening around you. Perhaps you simply don’t care as this is strictly about #1…YOU.
Let me tell you first hand that when you accept this kind of responsibility, it is your job to develop others, to help them be successful, to be a leader and role model, to encourage and empower instead of cutting them down so you can show your superiority. And if you are an equal, treating your peers as if you are more important and they don’t matter, like they are dirt beneath your nails, well, that really speaks volumes to your choice of rather being a manager vs. a leader. I am sorry for thinking that your behavior is rather pathetic as I struggle to relate to the tiniest shred of your style and can only see you as a poor excuse, placed into a position that is way beyond your capabilities as people have seen through you a long time ago. You are tolerated but you are far from being respected. And one day somebody will speak up and will no longer feel intimidated by your title. And believe me when I say that this is something you don’t want as it will turn your life upside down and life as you know it may not be the same. Harsh words coming from somebody like me who wants to help people and see everybody succeed. But even here there comes a point where enough is enough. I know you are lost and you have yet to discover what it’s all about. Creating a hostile environment for people is not it and you might want to redirect your course. I am mindful, remembering your own struggles because this can’t be anything of personal nature, anything that I have caused. It has been my guide tolerating your management style along with the hostile treatment and lack of maturity/professionalism you have bestowed upon me and others. Maybe you don’t know the difference between a manager and a leader but you are so closed minded that it would never allow the help of others to enter your roam. You simply know it all already? How is it working out for you? You demand respect, a figure of title, barking out orders, feeling empowered by the control you hold over others. I get it and leadership is not for everybody, most will never know the difference. There is a difference in empowering vs. micro managing. Development vs. oppression. Structure and accountability while supporting and setting your team up for success. In the end everybody has to choose their own path, but you got to be aware of your emotional wake, the heaviness you leave behind when you are running the show.
Early on in my career I learned the golden rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated” and I felt that this was something that I wanted to incorporate into my own leadership style. I am not a manager nor will I ever be and this was probably one of the most important lessons I would ever learn. One that determined the path of my own crossroads, standing on the intersection of managing and leadership. My choice came second nature given that in my personal life I was already practicing it. It’s my personal believe system and what I value. I’m no angel and no doubt people can get on your nerves, but there is a difference between being annoyed and treating somebody disrespectful. Bossing others around, making them feel anything less than human or a part of the team, while demonstrating your authority such as “I’m better than you” was not something I wanted to be known for.
More and more I’m finding the majority of business professionals in corporate America residing on the “Manager” side with the small minority of “Leaders” left behind fighting to empower, develop and grow their employees. It’s becoming a cut throat industry that is losing it’s morales and values while allowing those kinds of treatments and pressures to be bestowed on others. Upholding a ruthless environment that is demeaning, turning people into callous result achieving robots incapable of compassion. Mix that with a little competition that has become everything else than friendly, jealousy and envy that brings distress when somebody is doing better than us, which ultimately makes them the enemy, and you got yourself a toxic concoction, few will enjoy.
So, are we just the result of society and the pressures that are placed onto us or do we have a choice after all? Maybe the blame and fault isn’t entirely ours. And as I entertain the possible causes of what could be the reason, I will be hard here and point the finger, saying that you are to blame for your choices if they include treading others in such poor fashion. There are always reasons and motives behind everything but they should not become a way of life and an excuse to justify your power trip. It’s not up to you to play god here but it is your duty in a job of authority to consider how you impact people’s lives. Do you really think that this is the only way to achieve results? Have you ever heard that a person who feels valued will always be motivated to be more productive and do a better job? People seem to think that the iron fist style is more engaging and in my case, I have to say that it has never inspired me wanting to work harder. It only leaves a sour taste and a lack of disrespect as you make it hard for me to remember my own motto that is to “live, and let live”. I encourage diversity and that there is strength in not always agreeing. And while I know that no matter where you go, you will always find a few managers riding the broom of power while making everybody else feel miserable, I cannot support your ways in any form as it encourages humanity to drift further apart, leaving behind sickness and ill feelings.
It wasn’t until recently that I learned that there is an actual term for this behavior and it is called….
Evil thrives on the weak…and I will always stand up for the rightful, humane treatment of others, including myself. So deal with it.