Posted in Healing, Inspiration, Wisdom

A healers perspective

My dear body has been working overtime and is exhausted. It’s been literally through hell and I am seeing some of the side effects besides the pain. Yet miraculously, the pain has become much more tolerable on most days, and is not hindering me much from day to day. Again not all days are equal and while it’s easy on some, on others I feel crippled. The fatigue is a whole different story and I did come down with a nasty cold that has lingered for two weeks. It was hard to get rid off when you you can’t take time to rest and look after yourself properly. Luckily I have reached the tail end of it, putting it behind me. The only thing left is some congestion on my heart and lungs.

I believe there is a reason for everything. I believe there are no ordinary moments. I believe that pain is one of our greatest teachers, bringing into awareness that something is out of balance. I believe that our own thoughts, our fears and our ego can be a great enemy to ourselves, only making life harder than it has to be. What wisdom would the old healer hold and say to us, speaking directly to our soul?

It’s not your back that hurts, but the burden.

It’s not your eyes that hurt, but injustice.

It’s not your head that hurts, it’s your thoughts.

Not the throat, but what you don’t express or what you say with anger.

Not the stomach that hurts, but what the soul does not digest.

It’s not the liver that hurts, it’s the anger.

It’s not your heart that hurts, but love.

And it is love itself that contains the most powerful medicine.

Author unknown

Posted in Healing, Life, My story

Moving date & other news

It’s almost moving date and this coming Wednesday, my new home will be a 24ft long travel trailer, nestled in the woods. It is situated at an RV park to provide full hook up. It’s been work in progress for several weeks to make for a smooth transition. I will post pictures and updates as soon as I get settled, but here is a picture of my new sheets with the motto that everything is better at the campsite. I hope so.

It is peaceful and quiet there and I’ve made a few box deliveries. It’s a zen place with great energy and that’s important for me at this point. Even Cinnamon is picking up on it and we are both looking forward to some lazy days of recovery and not having a stressful agenda that stretches from early mornings until late at night. I imagine we will do some creative stuff, lounging, visiting the nearby waterhole, and a few naps. It sounds wonderful, and not having a day filled with tasks will feel so good to me. It is needed, and thank god. It’s hard to believe that the past couple of months will finally be behind me. What an emotional as well as physical rollercoaster it has been. To some extend Germany will bring some of the same trials and challenges, but until then, I look forward to days filled with rest and recovery. Thank you all for being patient with me, for sticking around, and for understanding that is has been the transition, the fight of my life. It truly means the world.

In the meantime at the house: We lucked out this morning, taking Cinnamon for a walk at the perfect time. A delivery truck had already pulled up and dropped one of two hardwood floor pallets in the middle of the driveway, which would have blocked my car into the garage. Looks like the new owners will have new flooring installed and the deliveries continue, despite our wish to give us some respect and space until their official date of procession, agreed per contract.

We offered to store the pallets in the garage but the driver said he could only leave them in the driveway. 😳 There was no way for us to move the pallets, nor could the driveway be blocked, block my car and the movers coming on Wednesday morning to load furniture. Long story short, we had to refuse the pallets to be taken away and delivered once we are out of the house, like next Thursday.

I am surprised to say the least by the thought process and inconsideration of the new owners. We are literally being pushed out lol, but I guess for a payday like this I can endure being pushed around a bit. But it’s always the principal isn’t it, perhaps even a lack of respect and consideration. Leaving two pallets of wood in the driveway, overnight, for someone to steal, (although we live in a good neighborhood…but still), what if it rained? Who does that? I would imagine that I can expect a crew to show up to rip out the carpet next so the hardwood floor can be installed. What will be next? Chocolate to the rescue…😂

Posted in Family, Healing, Trauma

At the gates of ancestral trauma – The chamber of the wound

Despite my current hectic, life goes on and the journey continues. To get up to speed and have insight as to how we arrived here, you can easily catch up here.

To continue with my ancestral healing, I knew that I had to travel to the chamber of my wounds. Only there I would discover the story of my original wounding. How far it dated back and when it began. I was unsure of what I would find. Was it one wound or multiple? I wasn’t too concerned with the details as long as I made a start. Where and when they originated, and how they manifested within myself over all these years was most important and like a learning process. The time had come, and I was coming to terms, understanding and perhaps even reacting and handling things differently going forward once aware.

I knew that in this journey of discovery I would learn much about myself, perhaps even on a deeper level. I wanted to see things with a clearer vision, like looking in on myself from an observer level, which had started already. Could it be intensified? I prepared myself mentally to travel to this chamber of my wound, which held decades of hurt and despair. I knew it involved Mom and I would need to meet her in the energetic world. I believed it was there, that we, together would mend the past. And so it was, only a few days later, during a powerful shamanic journey, that old, stagnant energy, as well as wounds that held us both hostage were cleared and released.

It’s too early to tell if the clearing was permanent or whether it needs to be repeated, but I am grateful that I was able to do this important work. I do feel a difference. I will schedule a follow up post why you should consider looking into shadow work, inner child healing and ancestral healing. What the benefits are and what to consider. May it be helpful for you as it was for me.


Posted in Family, Healing, Inner Child

At the gates of ancestral trauma – Now what?

My journey to ancestral healing started here.

If you are interested how I arrived at this point, the links above, in order, will give you great insight about the process. In the last post I talked about the message I received from Dad, about being the chosen one and that it was always up to me to clear and heal our family’s ancestral trauma.

The message felt powerful and fitting, although initially it took me by surprise. After days of coming to terms with it and letting it settle with myself, I knew it was my duty, and “the call” that I heard days ago, truly integrated within myself. I knew I had to do it, and I knew it would not only heal my family line, but also myself. I wanted to do it. Now, days after the message and getting comfortable with the idea, I arrived at the “Now what” scenario. What would be my process and how would I approach doing this healing?

After sleeping on it and letting it sit, I trusted that the next step would reveal itself in due time and come forward without force. And indeed it did and what surfaced was a memory back to 2018 while Mom was in the nursing home already. Another incident form that time stands out as Mom became very sick and her lungs filled with water. She was on a respirator and could hardly breathe. One day when I was sitting next to her, she had extra difficulties catching her breath. Her earlobe was already turning blue and I rang for help. A male nurse came into the room, immediately noticing what was going on. He took Mom’s hand and proceeded with a soft tone to ask her some questions. “Oh, hello, I heard you are from the neighboring village. Did you live there all of your life?” It was things like that he was asking her and in the process of it he distracted Mom from the fear of not being able to breathe. It calmed her down and made her relax. Soon her skin tone returned to normal and the threat had subsided. He smiled and barely noticeably nodded at me, for I knew exactly what had just transpired. With a grateful smile I nodded back at him, forming my lips in a silent “thank you.”

It was obvious that Mom was still a little shaken once we were alone again. Without a doubt was it a scary few minutes for her and I could tell that nearly in tears she was still wrestling with what had just happened. It was in those short vulnerable moments that I took her hand and our eyes met in silence. I had the feeling that she wanted to say something and I gave her some time and space. Nothing and she remained silent, still baring that same look, fighting with herself to speak. And still she couldn’t and I felt a sadness creeping up realizing that she couldn’t jump over her shadow. This was not her strength and talking about feelings, appearing vulnerable and weak was not something she was comfortable with.

Sitting there in silence I finally asked her softly it there was something she wanted to say to me. Her eyes said yes, but not one word passed her lips. After giving her some time, I smiled at her and said the following…”It’s ok, because whether you tell me or you don’t, whether you verbalize it or remain in silence, it doesn’t really matter because I know what you want to say either way.” This time she nodded at me, grateful, relieved and thankful. I could tell that what I said restored some peace within her and put her at ease with herself and what was going on.

During my “Now what” moment this incident that transpired between Mom and me showed up and immediately I knew that a shamanic journey to meet Mom was in order. Living in the energetic now she knows that I have long forgiven her for the emotional neglect I felt as a child and even in my adulthood. I feel strongly about making this journey and going beyond her knowing of what’s in my heart. It needs to be spoken, which will heal my wound and trauma as well as hers.

To be continued…

Posted in Family, Healing, Inner Child, Trauma

At the gates of ancestral trauma – The chosen one

Continued from here and here

I felt strongly about what was revealed to me during my shamanic journey with Dad. It felt relevant and I believed that it was up to me to release the bonds of family trauma, including my own. It was up to me to heal ancient wounds and according to Dad I was the chosen one to do it.

I even had a better understanding as to why I always felt so sad about Mom’s traumatic life. Fleeing the war with a few things on their backs, not knowing her father until he was released from being a POW when she was 11, the early and sudden death of her husband, my father, and the lack of joyous events in her life. I always felt burdened by the lack of balance and that the tears and heartaches dominated happiness and smiles.

There was a time I would have done anything to spare my parents the hardship they experienced. There was a time I would have switched with Mom, carrying these sorrows in exchange for her happiness. Even if meant to give my own life. It’s just how much I loved her. Here I was, a 10 year old who took on the enormous responsibility to bring joy to Mom, to make her happy, to fill a void and smooth the loss of her husband. It was a burden impossible for me to take on. A burden I couldn’t carry, yet I tried, and perhaps it was what my soul had agreed to for this lifetime.

Coming to terms with the events of my life and my childhood, I now stared into the depths of the impossible. An unimaginable task that wasn’t mine to carry. A task that I could never fulfill. And yet somehow I made a soul contract with myself, because there was nowhere else to turn to. There was no help available at that time, and people had to deal with their tragedies in their own way.

Nobody asked any of this from me, but knowing myself I’m sure I felt that I had to do something. I didn’t know at the time that by doing so I would leave myself wide open for many wounds to accumulate. And I’m not sure if that would have made a difference. For me it was nothing more than the love of a daughter for her Mom, trying to help her see better days again.

Now decades later of carrying this burden, years of working through the emotions and the heartache, I finally heard the voice telling me that it was up to me to heal our family’s ancestral trauma. It’s a moment I will never forget, a moment that feels very surreal and powerful. A moment so important in my life that it has become an actual game changer.

To be continued….

Posted in Family, Healing, Inner Child

At the gates of ancestral trauma – The work begins

Picture: Yahoo

By now I was fully emerged into my Inner child healing. It became my mission to connect and heal each child, one by one. So far I had met two inner children and I was still adjusting to the concept that there is more than just one inner child. Each so far required an emotional process, but I could feel layers of deep trauma peeling away by doing this important work. In a sense it felt as if I was reinventing myself. Peeling away that final layer of resistance and trusting process with a knowing and confidence I couldn’t explain.

It as a different reinventing and I’m not talking about a new haircut, a new diet or something like that, but through deep emotional healing that would ultimately propel me to my higher self, , my soul’s purpose, visible in appearance, attitude, behavior and a much lighter heart.

March 2nd was like a new dawn. I felt as if I was finally crawling back from the darkness. Although I was still in a lot of physical pain, there was an emotional release that helped me see things on a brighter side again. I knew I was coming around the bend by doing this important work. At least mentally I felt more stable and the depression and vast emptiness subsided. No sudden loneliness came over me, or crying from one moment to the next without knowing why. I could finally trust myself again vs. being afraid of myself.

It was as if I was looking in from the outside, being a distant observer, able to evaluate the situation from a different level or was it that I was just getting numb to the bullshit. Nevertheless I felt guided and that something had been set into motion. Something was different, something started and took me along in tow. I wondered why some of us seem to struggle so much more while others seem to have it all together? Have you ever looked at someone thinking how well pulled together their life is? Is it control, are they stronger than we are, do we feel too much, are they hiding it better, are we blowing things out of proportion, or is there something wrong with us? Are we troubled souls, unable to find our way through life, or is it that we feel on a different, a much more intense level? Perhaps it is something different all together? Maybe you have asked the same question before. I have come to the conclusion that those of us feeling this way are actually blessed. For we are given an opportunity and the tools of understanding, recognizing and resolving such trauma that has held us prisoner for so long. Sometimes a lifetime. I think others feel it too, but perhaps don’t know what it is or how to work with this energy. So if you are here, count your blessings, not everybody get’s this chance.

March 2nd was a turning point, and I felt empowered and motivated. It was time for the biggest transformation of my life. I realized that in reality I had long known that this day would come, and it was finally here. Was I surprised that finally it was time, or had I stopped believing that I would ever see it! A lifetime seemed to have passed since I first knew. Now it was here, at a magnitude I couldn’t have predicted. A magnitude that would become my salvation in the pursuit of peace within, especially from foreign and outside influences. It was only the beginning, but already I knew.

After the stir of the Full moon I did a shamanic journey to meet Dad in the energetic world. I used to believe that losing Dad was my first traumatic life event, but now I was learning that some events dated much further back and some trauma isn’t even mine to carry. For example ancestral trauma which is the trauma of the generations that came before you. Trauma that was experienced and not resolved, now reincarnated into another lifetime, into your soul. It became obvious that I carried the trauma of my family, burdens generations before me were unable to work through and lift.

All of a sudden it was clear that Dad’s passing was when my conscience was jolted into action, and it stood the first time that I recall trauma in an awakened and aware state. But it was not my first experience and most of my inner children had formed already before Dad’s passing. This usually happens by the age of eight.

To be continued..,

Posted in Healing, Inner Child

Inner Child healing

In working with the Full Moon energy of last month, I was determined to get to the bottom of why I felt so emotional. So vulnerable, so delicate, so raw. I had already discovered that in part it was due to what I read about this powerful moon, but another part of me told me that it was due to unresolved wounds deep inside of me. By that time I knew and had heard about inner children and the works of inner children that we all carry from traumatic experiences in our lives.

Most inner children are created by the age of 8 years old. At that point time stands still for that inner child and while our physical and mental body continues to age and grow, that inner child doesn’t. That experience, as well as the emotions and feelings from that traumatic event are stored and held by the inner child. It is common that this child creates behaviors, ways and attitudes to protect us. We might withdraw, close ourselves, act differently, even put up walls. when it comes to avoiding that trauma that caused the hurt. As we go on and live our life these traumas get triggered by similar experiences. When this happens the protective behaviors created jump into action. It’s like engaging into auto pilot, and sometimes we have no clue as to why we reacted the way that we did or why something even bothered us. Have you ever started to cry when a certain song hit the radio? During a movie? Does your mood shift from one moment to the other, leaving you feeling more vulnerable on some days? Do you avoid certain things, withdraw, hide your true authenticity? Often we are not even aware of our inner children and the trauma that was sealed in time, trapping our emotions and unresolved energy, as well as reactions and behaviors.

For instance: You might feel unlovable if you grew up in a household without love. There are feelings and emotions attached to this that are most likely very painful for you to remember. You avoid it, you don’t want to go there. The emotions live on, over decades like in my case, sometimes to remain unresolved. To reincarnate into a different lifetime with another chance to resolve, to find your purpose and to free yourself and your soul from karma.

When these traumas are created your inner child will create a behavior to protect you from feeling this pain again. You might find it difficult to love yourself in an effort to avoid love all together. Perhaps you struggle to commit to a relationship, close yourself off, or have feelings of unworthiness.

Just like me, sitting there, feeling overcome and emotional all of a sudden. Experiencing a sadness and emptiness I couldn’t pinpoint at first. I would learn more about triggers later, more about these old wounds, and one of my inner children. And yes we can have many inner children, depending on how much trauma we have encountered, how old our soul is and how much was reincarnated from our ancestors.

It actually was the night of the full moon that I started to dig deeper. A message from another healer, my dear sister confirmed that my energy was blocked and that I wasn’t accepting any healing light. I wasn’t in the least bit surprised and knew that I had to utilize the powerful moon to engage and meet this inner child that was crying out so intensely.

Please see the link for the meditation below of you feel inclined to try it for yourself and if this speaks to you.

During my meditation I asked for the inner child that correlated to the way I was feeling to step forward. Like all my mediations, healings, and shamanic journeys, this ended up being a very powerful and emotional for me. I became aware of the sequence of events and that everything had to happen this way so I could arrive at this very important particular point. Soon I recognized wounds that spanned over decades, some reincarnated, some from prior lifetimes, some ancestral and others from my own life experiences that triggered that inner child. I completed the healing but believe that multiple attempts will be needed to clear it’s energy entirely. But what I can tell you now is that I feel lighter, that a step was made into the right direction, that a burden is lifting, that I have begun the process of healing and reintegrating my inner children, and that in itself is some of the most important work I will ever do.

Posted in Energy healing, Healing, Reiki

You are cordially invited

Picture: Yahoo

This is your formal invitation to tonight’s Reiki healing at 7PM PST.

It’s your invitation to be filled with light and love. To trust that the universe has a plan for you, and that you are loved beyond measure.

It’s your invitation to accept all that is, including yourself and where you are in your journey. You are divine and everything you seek is also seeking you.

It’s your invitation to embrace forgiveness and let go of any shortcomings you might experience.

This is your invitation to make mistakes, to take chances and to release perfection.

This is your invitation to be uniquely yourself. You are one of a kind, quit aspiring to be a copy. An original is always worth much more.

You are invited to look silly and be perfectly imperfect. To trust yourself and follow your heart. To be free of judgement and negative feelings from yourself and others. None of it weighs you down any longer.

This is your invitation to be proud of yourself and of all that that you have accomplished. Be gentle with yourself. You are doing important work.

This is your invitation to take the tough lessons and turn them into opportunities. To learn to dance in the rain and to see the silver lining in the hardest of challenges.

This is your invitation to let go of anger and free yourself. You are starting to see and you are on the brink of meeting your most authentic self. Take your time.

This is your invitation to laugh out loud, to dream big and to chase your stars, for anything is possible.

Tonight we dance with childlike abandonment. We dance like no one is watching.

Tonight we meet in the energetic as healing is sent your way. Tonight we are waving goodbye to February and welcome March. Are you ready? See you there…🙏🏼💙

Posted in Healing, Health, Holistic Healing, Homeopathic

Anti inflammatory tea

In our health segment this week, I am addressing inflammation in the body. It is the cause for many chronic diseases and illnesses and is no friend of ours.

Inflammation in the body is caused in many forms and here are just a few of them. Poor diet, not enough exercise and stress are the main contributors to inflammation.

Do you have swollen joints, stiff muscles, flu like symptoms, fever, chills, fatigue, loss of energy, headaches, or a loss of appetite? If so you might be at risk of having inflammation in the body.

6 steps for reducing and managing inflammation in the body.

  1. Load up on anti inflammatory foods
  2. Control blood sugar
  3. Cut back or eliminate inflammatory foods
  4. Make time to exercise
  5. Lose weight
  6. Manage stress

An impressive list, but also one that’s not often managed so easily. We know how hard it can be to lose a few extra pounds and that stressful job is still needed to pay the bills. A vicious cycle that’s often hard to break. But here is one little thing you cc’s n incorporate that can make a world of difference and it’s as simple as a few cups of tea a day. It really helps.

What you need is a cup of green tea, with 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric. Heat and stir well to dissolve as best as possible. It’s a little stubborn but can be done with a little extra TLC. You can also add a turmeric supplement to your daily routine and don’t forget about our Limes from last week to flush out the toxins.

Posted in Animals, Dreams, Emotions, Healing


Awe…this is usually my first view when I wake up in the morning. Other times, if I sleep too long, she might come up and lays her head on my shoulder, ensuring I’m ok. She did so this morning as I had a nightmare, coming to comfort me. She is very intuitive in that sense and picks up on vibrations and energy. She also brings care to an area you might have hurt yourself at, for instance a scab on your body and not much gets passed her.

Cinnamon has become a regular guest in my bed and usually ends up right in the middle, where it’s most comfortable and the heading blanket gets the warmest. She likes to stare out of the window to watch birds and just gaze at the world waking up, alongside with us. She is a sun goddess and will find the tiniest corner to soak up the rays and get her vitamin D. She is truly one of a kind and perfect to end the week with a fulfilled and a sweet sigh of awe….

See you tonight lovelies for our weekly Reiki healing at 7 PM PST.

Namaste 🙏🏼💙