“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” L.R. Knost
I don’t know why staying hydrated remains to be such a struggle for me. I just don’t drink enough throughout the day, no matter how often I remind myself about the importance of it and the benefits. Maybe this homemade electrolyte drink can entice me to do a better job.
Mix coconut water, oranges, lemon, lime, Himalayan sea salt, and honey in the combination of your liking. More or less of your favorites to your hearts content and see what happens.
“Be careful what you think, you may just manifest it into your life.” Our thoughts are food for our brain, what we belief – we project, what thoughts we entertain becomes a part of us, our DNA and what makes us “US.”
Did you know that your brain will constantly retire itself to suit the information that you feed into it? If you constantly complain, gossip, find excuses, etc; it will make it much easier to find things to be upset about, regardless of what is happening around you.
Likewise, if you constantly search for opportunities, abundance, love, and things to be grateful for, it will make it much easier to find a reflection of those things around you. It takes practice, but over time, this is a very powerful way to reshape your reality.
What are you feeding your brain today?
Our feet are a means to carry us into the world. To let us dance and chase our dreams in the physical form. Here is a simple recipe to detox our feet and also help the rest of our body to feel amazing.
2 cus of baking soda
1 cup epsom salt
1 lemon (squeezed)
10 drops of lavender essential oil
Add ingredients to warm/hot water and soak feet for 30 minutes.
Voila!!!
We can look to Mother Nature for many natural healing processes and from time to time I like to share some amazing finds. Here are a few proven methods ways you can improve your hair / scalp health.
For instance, do you know that Rosemary prevents hair follicles from being starved of blood supply, dying off, and leading to hair loss? Take a look at few more…
Avocado – massaging avocado oil into your scalp also stimulates blood flow to your hair follicles.
Jojoba – Jojoba oil is capable of moisturizing hair and it’s follicles without leaving any residue. It can help hair cells to reproduce themselves at a rapid pace.
Lavender – 2016 study found that lavender oil applied to mice (ughhh I don’t really like animal studies, and at least one wasn’t harmful) made them grow more hair. Their hair also grew thicker and faster than normal. Per theses studies, lavender oil may help with issues like pattern baldness or alopecia.
Eucalyptus – Eucalyptus is a great way to stimulate hair follicles. This is likely because eucalyptus can bring down inflammation in the scalp which helps create an ideal environment for hair growth.
Lemongrass – Lemongrass is a oil that is antibacterial and strengthens hair follicles, it creates a conducive environment on your scalp for healthy hair growth.
Tea Tree – Tea Tree oil helps to unclog hair follicles and nourish your roots.
Castor – Castor oil for hair loss and hair growth is one of the best organic solutions. What are the unique properties of castor oil? It has a special fatty acid concentration containing omega essential fatty acids, including the very rare ricinoleic fatty acid. The composition is what makes castor oil such a robust excipient.
AMLA – massaging your scalp with amla oil helps boost blood circulation. This, in turn, optimizes nourishment to your follicles and increases hair growth.
I’m happy to report that I have beaten the nasty bug (well….mostly) that rendered me badly ill for several days. It appears I am returning to the living for a little longer and here I go again with new stories to tell and new insights to be appreciated. At the beginning of getting sick, I stressed out about the most horrendous timing and how much stuff there was still left to do. I nearly caused myself a panic attack and as I look back I say “aren’t most of these panic attacks self induced?” We always tend to paint a much uglier picture than reality truly is, but then again, it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t. Heaven knows that we try hard to be in control and prepared whatever life throws our way.
Once the panic subsided a bit, I quickly really that there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Now matter how much I stressed, things would be the same whether I approached nerve wrecked or from a calmer point of view. It was then that I entered a more restful phase. I allowed my body to heal and slept nearly three days and three nights. Not continuously, but mostly. I got up long enough to go to the bathroom and drink some chicken broth and elderberry syrup, ate some fruit that my cousin dropped in front of my door via care packet twice…what an angel…but that was pretty much it. I surrendered and I gave up worrying. Probably one of the best things I could do. I took the time to get better and slowly I did, although it still lingers and I still have to be careful over a week later.
As I was left there with my thoughts about all my outstanding chores, I was trying to understand why this was happening. What was my message in this, was it truly the fault of the new RA meds that compromised my immune system, was I working too hard, running myself into the ground with unrealistic expectations? After all I came here with the understanding that “I” had to look at EVERYTHING. Every corner, every angle, and why? I soon realized that it was to find closure in this chapter. Had Mom hidden something for me? Was there a written note, something she could never verbalize to my face? Others believed that there is, or was a treasure in the house. Further pushing me to find something I never even knew existed. I put myself in a position as if I was dependent on finding these things to attain closure. Inadvertently I put more pressure and stress onto myself and it was finally now, being and all, that I could acknowledge and validate it for what it was. The panic turned into a calm heart and all of a sudden I felt content. There was so much I had accomplished already. So much I had felt already. So much I knew with certainty in my heart now. And then came the most beautiful message of all….
It became apparent that long ago I had already received the treasure. It can come in the form of a decision, an understanding, a coming to terms and being able to live with it, an inner peace, a calming sensation, a knowing, a feeling what was once unclear, stuff like that. I didn’t need to see things written out on paper anymore that my heart now knew. I felt that the illness was warranted to give me time to re-evaluate. To not get so hung up on the process and reprioritize what truly matters, and how I want to spent my remaining time here. It’s been work nearly 99% of the time while so many other important things need my attention to repair some of my own heartstrings and bring meaning to others. Perhaps it was also to stop the madness and only take as little as possible because let me tell you, it is not cheap by any means to ship to the US. You better have a strong attachment to the things you want to bring. So I am reevaluating and while I’m doing so, it appears that all of a sudden I might actually be ahead of the game vs losing time to sickness and panicking from being behind. Living a tiny life has also prepared me for my now and i won’t add clutter to my life anymore. I like it simply, with less responsibilities and that in itself is a treasure to behold. Life sure has a funny way yo teach us things, although my funnies have seldom be funnies. They are always extreme, I can’t be stopped any other way and it always has to be something serious to halt me. Well, I am halted, I am listening, I am acknowledging, and I am making the chances necessary.
She’s no stranger to loneliness..
No stranger to grief
No stranger to loss
No stranger to hurt
No stranger to shame
And it is because she is no stranger to suffering
That she can be the healing touch to all that come to her in pain.
If you ask her “Do you have any regrets?” “If you could change your past would you?”
She would answer…”I lived through some hard times, but I wouldn’t change one moment of it…
I was broken in order to open…
The compassion that now flows through my heart is the grace of the Divine Mother..
Nothing that I have experienced has been in vain.”
~Carline de Lisser
It’s pretty magical whenever a rainbow shows up in the sky and for many it’s considered a lucky sign as we imagine a pot of gold at the end of it and little leprechauns with cloves, dressed in green come to mind. I also heard of the wonderful tale that a rainbow consist of all the happy tears that people cried during moments of happiness. So perhaps you smile just a little more remembering this the next time you see one. But have you heard the phrase “Eat the rainbow?” It’s long known that fruits and vegetables are good for our overall health, but it’s also said that every color of the rainbow supports our health and organs in a different way, so take look at this list and see where you need some help. Let’s start with red and if you some help here, focus on eating red fruits and veggies, and so on.
Red – lycopene – supportive of the heart, blood, skin & nerve health .
Orange – carotenoids – supportive of hair, skin, & eye health.
Yellow – bioflavonoids- supportive of heart, vision, joints, tissues, digestion & immune system.
Green – chlorophyll – supportive of digestion, vision, bones & immune system.
Purple – anthocyanin – supportive of heart, blood, improves memory & nerve health.
My trip to Germany is an important trip on many levels. I know that important work is waiting for me and it is here where the effects of Karma and Ancestral Trauma will end. I have done much of the work already, but I know it’s not quite over yet and there are still a few things I will have to let go off. It was during a shamanic journey that I learned and was told that I have always been the one, that the family suffering was always meant to end with me. I am in Germany not only to sell my Mother’s house, to clear it off stuff and belongings that span over three generations, but I am also here for healing and closure for myself.
Ancestral Trauma is never derived from our own doing and does not spring from the events in our own lives, and yet we carry that burden with us and pass it along to the next generation and the next generation, until we heal it. I don’t have any children, no generation to pass it onto, but I deserve the healing for myself, as I have carried the wounds of my ancestors for all of my life. And they have been some big ones, some powerful experiences. This trauma has never belonged to me, yet it has shaped me of how I show up in the world today. It has left me misunderstood, a loner to some degree, an empath and someone that is just a bit different.
I have prepared for this moment and for what’s to come. When we heal it, we end the cycle of trauma transmission, liberating not only ourselves, but the future generations. And even if I don’t’ have a generation after me to liberate, I choose to liberate myself and those I come in contact with in this life. I believe that when we carry pain and stress within, we tend – or run the risk to pass on this negative behavior. In other words I am saying that the pain needs an outlet and people in pain hurt other people, even if unintentionally. I, for myself do not want to belong to this tribe of people, so I am doing the work to set myself free and care for others at the same time.
As I said before, the nights are the worst. When the body comes to rest from a day’s worth of work and the mind gets a chance to catch up. Sometimes the sadness creeps in because reminders surface and the memories of a time long gone haunts me. A time with certain parts to it that I miss, that I want back, parts I haven’t accepted that they are gone, to never return. These parts still hurt and somehow I feel they will continue to hurt for the rest of my life. Some parts can’t be healed no matter how hard we try.
Mom kept everything and today I threw away my Konfirmation cards that date back to 1979. I also looked through every condolence card for my Dad’s accidental death, dating back to 1974. I threw most of those as well. While I continue to give away freely most processions, knowing that they perhaps can bring joy to someone else, I can’t help but wonder about what Mom would think. I think she would have a hard time with my way of doing things. Would she approve of my way of handling things. If she can look inside my heart, I know she will. She build an empire, for herself and for me. She couldn’t take it with her to her deathbed and neither will I. I am giving it away and it will no longer be in our immediate family. I can’t help but wonder if she would deem my actions as me being ungrateful and unappreciative. If she’d think I am stupid and that I am not recognizing all it’s worth. It’s just material, although material brings bliss to many.
Mom was a material person I think. She came from a life of nothing. I am not one that clings to material worth anymore, or at least if I am, then to a minimal extent. I have learned to let go of the weight and the burden, but Mom came from from fleeing a war with just the clothing on her back. Although I have worked for everything in my life and I could say that nothing was given to me either, I also can see the difference between her and me. When I think about it, I’d say that I was given more than she ever had. I had a home, food on the table, clothing that was provided to me while I grew up and so on. Basically I never had to fend for myself although we both had to grow up into a serious role of life way too soon, and in a way I did fend for myself many times over with different circumstances. For a long time I was like Mom. I gathered and acquired things. It’s what I learned from her. Unlike her I worked for everything and earned a living. Like her I saved my money until I could afford to but what I wanted. Mom lived off of her monthly settlement due to the accidental death of my father, and in later years her own retirement. It was free money she didn’t have to move a finger for unlike me who endured hard physical labor. But even her money wasn’t free and it was money based on a tragedy, pain money due a death and a loss she shouldn’t have experienced.
I’m sure she had to watch her income as well and it wasn’t that she all of a sudden was rich, but she managed, and she built an empire with enough materials to live comfortably. I wonder how she would feel seeing all her possessions gone! Would she it as all for nothing? I hope not, because it served it’s purpose which was mainly hers. I still fear not doing right by her and even now with her gone for nearly 3 years, I still find myself wanting to be the good daughter that makes Mommy proud. Some days I feel like I am failing in this chapter and that she is looking down on me in disbelief. Anger that I am selling her house, that I am giving away everything she saved for and that things are completely different than she could have ever imagined them to be. Sometimes I still think she wouldn’t understand that I am chasing my own dreams. Perhaps she never got to chase hers and all she ever wanted was me taken care off. She sacrificed her life, protecting me, gathering for me to live a better life than she had lived. A life I am giving away day after day. Some days I find myself begging her for understanding, for not being mad at me, to not turn her back and giving me the cold shoulder. I realize that there is healing that needs to be done, because it happened too many times in real life and the pain is still here, unhealed and still present.
Rhapsody Bohème 