It was Saturday, only a few days after the house went back on the market, and the first open house was scheduled. An offer was already received from the people who toured the house at the beginning of the week and we were curious to see what the open houses would bring. It had definitely become easier to entrust the house to the realtor while vacating the premises and driving away, leaving behind your home and most personal possessions. At least temporarily, and still there was a feeling that can’t be described, a knowing that the inevitable was coming and that life as I knew it would take on drastic turns. What creatures of habit we are, how we take comfort in our routines and the knowing, the security blanket of having certain things in place such as shelter and a roof over your head. As for myself and this point, no forwarding address was in place and everything was hanging in the balance.
Wasn’t that what I wanted, what needed to happen, what couldn’t go on any longer? At least to a degree? The universe was supporting me and moving things as smoothly as possible. The house would sell for a significant profit and everything was moving along without any major hiccup. Things would be alright and we’d be taken care of…and still!!! What a weird and strange feeling, about to walk away from such a big part of your life, where everything is changing, not just one thing.
Running a few errands in town, we stayed close and took Cinnamon to a local watering hole. It was kind of stressful to be honest since she is not associated with people or other animals. We still have that feral instinct and one can only imagine what she had to endure during the first four months of her life. Here at the pond were too many distractions, not enough room to explore which means a short leash, pulling, chasing geese and ducks, people on bicycles, joggers, etc. but we made due. Basically it’s exactly the reason why I don’t take her to those crowded places and it can’t compare with a trip to Mother Nature and stillness. It wasn’t enjoyable for either party, but like I said, we made due and it was better than nothing.
A new statue that I’ve never seen before was put into place at the end of the pond. Low and behold it was a dragonfly, the symbol I associate with Mom. I learned that dragonflies are little magical beings that help our deceased loved ones ascend to heaven. After Mom’s passing a dragonfly landed on my hand which to me was a sign of her comforting me through her loss and letting me know that she was ok. And here it was, the statue of a dragonfly, especially in times like these when so much was passing, falling away and dying to make room for the new. Perhaps she was telling me that she was with me, every step of the way and that I had her support.
It was while being at the pond that the realtor called with news about the initial offer. It was a clean, “as if” deal that had come up +5K from the initial offer. Not taking any chances we electronically signed and accepted it. There, it was a done deal, the house was sold, just like that and escrow had begun, initiating a deadline and a series of mixed emotions that induced overall numbness, perhaps even shock. Later at home a new sequence happened, and I am talking about the one when you start to see things differently. When you look around, taking in everything you see at a different level because you know that soon they will become a part of history and one of the lasts.
There is much to be grateful for, and yet a tough road lies ahead. The only thing I feel relieved about is that the pain of the open houses is behind me now, although they never were all that bad either. I know that everything will take time and each day will bring new successes, new opportunities, new reminiscing, new hope, new sadness and loss, and new adventures and memories waiting to be made.
For now, I am asking for your continued support and healing vibes as I have to postpone our weekly healing until some kind of normality returns back into my life.
Blessed be, in light and love. 🙏🏼💙