Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Health, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, My story

Round 2

After the “Tooth Fairy” called to squeeze me into a cancelled appointment on Tuesday morning, I started to mentally prepare myself for my second visit. My mind was trying to play tricks on me, scaring me right back into that old fear that had prevented me from going on a regular basis, but I wasn’t going to have it.My first visit, less than a week ago went as smooth as it could have gone, but I knew that today with another extraction to look forward to, it was a procedure that might require surgically cutting my gums. It was a fear inducing thought for sure, but somehow I managed to tuck it away somewhere deep into my mind where it was residing without surfacing until everything was said and done. Well almost done, but not quiet.

I prepared myself a serving of oatmeal on the stove, the proper way which I didn’t always follow before. I recalled somebody I once knew scolding me jokingly for microwaving all the nutrients out of it by not properly cooking it on the stove. Somehow the theory stuck with me and I adhered to my new stove top method. I was no longer going to feel guilty by taking the microwave shortcut. Not that it was all that much quicker anyways and I smiled remembering how many times my oatmeal actually bubbled over the edges of my bowl, leaving behind a mess to clean up. I realized that I never actually saved any time this way, considering all the cleanup that went into it. I cut an apple into my healthy delicious meal while letting it bind together. It felt as if I was preparing my last supper, or breakfast in my case as it would be difficult to eat later after the extraction. Might as well feed myself something healthy, full of nutrition. 

Elvia my dentists assistant casually told me during my first visit about her love for cabbage patch dolls. She stated that she had always wanted one but her parents were poor and she never got her wish. It was just small talk but a few days later a cabbage patch doll crossed my path in the most strangest of ways as if it was miraculously just placed in front of me to test my reaction. And yes it was Elvia that I was thinking of as I saw the doll and I just had to have it for her. 

Once I arrived at the dentist I saw Elvia and handed her a little gift bag that included a little note and her very own cabbage patch rainforest doll which resembled a butterfly. As a spirit animal, butterflies are often associated with transformation and change. A symbol of resurrection, butterflies represent endurance, change, hope and life. I found it to be fitting since Elvia helped transform my fear of going to the dentist and helped me change to live a healthier life. To resurrect myself and evolve into a more beautiful version of myself with a brighter smile. Thank you Elvia. 

What followed was a reaction I could have not predicted as it was merely a token of appreciation that I had handed her and not something so far out of the ordinary for me. I just wanted to do this for her and I didn’t do it for one moment because I felt that I had to. Elvia’s eyes teared up once she saw what it was and she was genuinely touched by my gesture. “Oh my god I will cherish this forever, this is the kindest gift somebody has ever given me” Elvia stumbled under tears as we hugged. Time stood still for a moment as everything else was disappearing and I’m forever grateful that I could present Elvia with something so minor and minute, but something she felt so happy about. Needless to say it moved me beyond words and reminded me of my true calling and what I was aspiring towards. To make a difference and help people in any way that I can. And it was in that very moment when I was blessed to experience Elvia’s Joy that my own craving was born to experience many more moments like this. This was the second time this week that I got to experience this feeling of sheer bliss through the joy of others. Just the day before I extended a job offer to a woman who had just interviewed with me and she was so happy that her entire face lit up as she thanked me, tearfully and asked if she could give me a big hug. Another hug that invoked the same feeling, a gratifying moment, being able to make a difference. I know that my future, in which ever way it might unfold itself, will have something to do with reliving this feeling over and over again. It will know the deepest sense of satisfaction through the happiness of others. 

After signing the consent to extract #3, a tooth that had broken off while biting down hard onto an unopened popcorn kernel, my tooth fairy, my kind, beautiful angelic dentist sat next to me once again as I was stretched out on the lounger. She asked me about my other tooth from last week and if I was ok with just regular ibuprofen. I told her that I forgot to take anything, ate pizza that very night and she laughed and called me tough a few times again. Tough as nails and a high tolerance to pain indeed. “We got big plans for you today, are you mentally prepared for it” she asked me and it was then that the gum cutting thought appeared once more before I dismissed it again. I knew there was a possibility but I didn’t want to think about it. I was finally here to face whatever was to come and I was ready. Warrior mode in full effect. She told me that she likes to prepare people for the worst and that it would be a bonus if things turn out to be much easier. The tooth was in the upper, right back, solidly settled deep inside my gums with three strong roots. Great. I knew it would not be as easy as the wobbly tooth from last week, but let’s just get it on already, I thought as we were about to start. Thanks to novocaine again, there was not the slightest pain throughout the procedure, but there was more pressure and a wrestling match going on to get the tooth out which seemingly decided to come out root by root instead of in one solid piece. In the end everything came out beautifully as my “Tooth Fairy” mentioned and I count myself blessed and lucky for lucky #3 to be mostly cooperative as I know that it could have gone way, way different. 

I took my regular dose of ibuprofen while I was still at the dentist office in preparation for when the novocaine would wear off. In comparison to last week where I felt nothing, I did feel it wear off this time and what remained was a dull constant, I can’t even call it pain, but a rather annoying discomfort reminding me that I just had a tooth pulled. No swelling of any kind (lucky) but later during the night the dull pain even woke me up at some point. The discomfort continued into the next day, probably until mid afternoon until I finally won the battle over the pain banishing it out of sight and feel without any further pain meds.

I am thankful and beyond grateful for the out of this world care that I have received from my tooth fairy and her amazing staff. In just two visits (I was going to say short visits, but they have been actually pretty long visits) her team has managed to ban my year long fear by making me feel comfortable in ways I could have not imagined. I’m no longer afraid of going to the dentist and actually look forward to seeing a few kind friends who have made a difference in my life in such a big way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

Posted in Death, Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Loss, My story

“Just like your Mother”

You said it a few times by now and each time you have said it in anger. “You are just like your mother”. I’m not quiet sure as to why you say it or if it’s a low blow you are trying to deliver. Maybe it’s just a statement, an opinion, something that doesn’t come with good intentions. I wonder if it truly needs to be spoken, as it’s context conveyed is meant to be hurtful. I fail to see your reasoning, nor am I trying to figure it out. All I know is that it’s no compliment towards me or my mother and I feel a change inside of me rising when you bring it up. A switch that turns to protection of my mother as I feel that she has bestowed nothing but kindness upon you. I know there have been many times that you have seen me struggle through some issues with my mother and perhaps it is the reason as to why your perception of her has shifted. Maybe it is different for an outsider, somebody not related through blood, but even that I can’t justify and excuse because you have experienced some of the same with your own family. 

As far as my mother is concerned, I’m not sure if we struggled after the death of my father. She provided me with everything that I needed and while I’m sure that there must have been tough times, I was too young to understand and notice. I might have never seen or recognized the signs that were there and I dismissed them with young, innocent and ignorant bliss. There was nothing to notice for me at that age, she did a great job of keeping it all away from me and nothing was obvious or appeared out of the ordinary. For the most part anyways, besides missing my father every day. She had to be a strong woman, raising me by herself and finishing the construction / remodel on our house that was only half finished through her own power. She never gained the respect a man would have had dealing with the handy workers of various traits, but she learned to become tough which also caused her to lock her feelings away in order to display this strong front. Even towards me she kept her wall up, towards her own flesh and blood. I knew she cared about me and loved me, I always knew, she just never said it to me and I missed the affection I had come to know and love from my father. 

I don’t know if my mother changed or if it was me realizing how important it was to convey feelings. My father taught me in his absence that we can never take anything for granted because we might never get a second chance. And so it was that while my heart and my feelings opened during this Rhapsody (an effusively, enthusiastic or ecstatic expression of feelings), it was the opposite for my mother and her feelings and her heart hardened during that same time. Yes, she choose to be by herself for all the years that followed my fathers death and she never remarried. Sometimes I think that it is only me who can understand her reasonings behind the unspoken words. She doesn’t have to say anything and still I already know that my father was her soulmate, he was the one and only for her. A play of words that couldn’t find a better example as describing the love that lived between my parents. 

I never realized how much it impacted my mother that I left her and my country to come to America. How could I, we never talked about feelings in any way or form. By now you could say, she had become an expert at hiding her emotions, with a poker face that left no clues. Over the years she became bitter that I left her behind and we drifted apart. We almost became estranged and for many years I felt that we knew each other as people, but not as family and definitely not like mother and daughter. She held a stubborn grudge, unable to forgive me and it didn’t matter how successful I had been in my second country of home, all there was, was that I had left her. Going home to visit was not always an easy thing as the first week was wasted and filled with the tension of her despising the decisions I had made. It took me over twenty years of trying to rebuild a relationship between us and thank god for that it finally happened. I nearly gave up a few times and so I understand when you remember that side of me, the frustration through it all, but you forget the internal struggle to continue the fight for her love and acceptance. It took many arguments and heartaches to finally break through to her, to finally give her something she could agree on and be proud of. It was nothing short of a miracle to have her back. 

And finally she allowed me to see a few glimpses of the mother that I knew as a child. I saw her laugh again and have great fun, do spontaneous, silly things and just live a little. An inner child that was locked away for many years because of the extreme difficulty and the seriousness of events that had transpired. I could never hold anything like that against her and my heart was always aching for the tough life she had to endure. Many might not understand her, but it is me who does and who imposes the question to imagine how your life would have turned out if you had lost your soulmate at such an early age? What would you have done, or would have to do to survive? Chances are none of us can answer this and we don’t know how strong we truly are until having to be strong is all there is left. I think she did just fine and even though I know that at some point I let her down in a big way by leaving her behind, I am the work of labor and love that comes from my parents. She sacrificed much for me and I can never thank her enough for helping me turn out alright.

So when you say that I am just like my mother, I know it is in comparison that I hold on to the past, that I hold a grudge or that I can’t forgive. I might even agree with a few things that could fall into a statement like this, for we both had to be strong women and life didn’t always made it easy for us. And yet you won’t hear me complaining because life had a plan for me all along and has made me into the person I was always meant to be. I will always be my mothers daughter and just maybe I was meant to be “Just like my mother” and I take that as a compliment.

Posted in Death, Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Loss, Motivation,, My story, Photography, Purpose driven, Self help

Living vs. being ALIVE…

If you follow my blog then you know that the trail often calls my name and nature for me is a way to escape a life filled with responsibilities and duties. From time to time bits and pieces of my life flash by me like the segments of an old movie reel. Black and white images, frayed and shaking against the backdrop, trying to hold on, trying to find their place. For a moment my strength subsides and I yearn to lower my shield. Exhausted from having to be so strong, I look for a break where my vulnerability can roam without the fear of harms way. To drop the responsibility and to set my inner child free that never got to see its childhood come to full terms. It was my Dad’s tragic accidental death at the age of ten which signifies the end of my childhood and the begin of adulthood that came way to soon. 

Life as I knew it had stopped for me and I lost my hero and best friend that day. There was no professional help to cope with the loss and to this day I don’t think that my Mom ever realized how much my Dad’s death impacted my life. I’m sure she was trying to find her own way of dealing with the loss of her soulmate and now raising me on her own. I would like to think that overall she did a great job and I never got into any serious trouble and grew up with values, a great work ethic and manners. I wonder if that is really what it is all about because despite it being so, I never learned how to actually live and there are no schools that teach you what should be most important. Today and going forward my hunger to live more is greater than ever….

It was many years later that I realized that my childhood died with my Dad. In school I found it hard to relate to other kids and I simple had no place amongst the popular crowds. Not because I was “nerdy” but because I had nothing to share. There were no stories to tell, no adventures of what I did with my Dad last weekend and hearing the other kids talk, was nothing more than a painful reminder that I was alone. Eventually I avoided being around those scenarios and perhaps it was the beginning of my introversion. 

I lost my place in society as the place it offered to me was too painful to be around. Every once in awhile a faint memory of my childhood emerges that somehow had vanished until that moment. As if it was hidden in a way to protect myself from the trauma of my Dad’s death. Maybe it is to be revealed now and maybe my adult self is ready to deal with those moments better than I could at the age of ten. I recall the silly times with my Dad, the carefree moments of just laughing and letting my soul hang loose without fear and constraints. 

Today it is nature and the trail that offers that outlet to me along with a few very special People in my life. It is then and there when that inner child emerges and I hear the voice (literally) coming from within to play, to be silly and to be a part of what will become a lasting special memory. Urging me to drop life and all its seriousness for a moment and instead take as much time as possible to truly be alive. 

Picture from my backyard “Lake Tahoe” ❤️

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, My story, Self help, Survival, Wisdom

When people give you Lemons ,

When people give you lemons, life will make you choose. You can either make lemonade and move on or become a victim. Life itself has a way of pushing us out of our comfort zone and the timing is seldom right. Or so we think and we feel unprepared and would much rather put things off. Maybe it is the ego that challenges us and instills doubt by making us believe that we are not ready. Not ready for the unknown and the fear of change is frightening us. Life as we know it, is about to take on new dimensions and we don’t know what to expect. And just maybe the changes are so huge that we can’t envision how they are going to fall into place. Just yet. We know that the road will tough, lined with obstacles and it won’t be easy. Our soul feels tired in ways that sleep can’t recover. And last but not least we are required to be strong because the warrior inside of us has been summoned once more to rise and fight for the life it seeks and deserves. 
Life has pushed me and life has finally grown tired of my procrastination. In a good way that is and the optimist in me knows that it is forcing me to put myself first for a change. And while I do find myself out of my comfort zone and a bit overwhelmed, I know this has been long overdue. I need to keep the focus as it is the only way. Timing might be everything, ready or not, and luckily if anything, my motto has always been to make lemonade. I’m a fighter and a warrior choosing the path of the light instead of the dark. 

Thank you all for your kind words and please know that I’m ok. I’m still processing and forging my path. My mind is tired and I hope you can be patient until I can come back and write more frequently. 
Hugs and best to all 

Rhapsody Bohème ❤️

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Wisdom

And so it begins…

I know what’s next and so it begins.

Few things make me truly angry and while the initial anger, 

the feeling of deceit and betrayal subsides, 

I realize that everything is exactly how it needs to be. 

A new Canto in my life’s poem is about to begin.

And I embrace it with all my might. 
(Stay tuned….)

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, My story

Apology to my car….

Late last night my seven day work stretch came to an end, which should have been celebration enough as I was looking forward to a much needed day off. However it ended with a costly mishap and muffled my whole celebration. It was a busy day at work and we did much better than we forecasted to do. Great, awesome, fantastic, right….but it also brought extra work. A few sick calls, no shows and orientation for new hires just added to the already hectic day and it came down to just doing the best you can and putting the store together as much as possible. All in all a typical retail day but also a challenge as the store literally looked like a bomb had exploded and product was scattered everywhere. On the floor out of place, half eaten, you name it, you get the picture. On top of it, there would be floor care in the building tonight and all fixtures would have to be moved from one side of the store to the other which was our responsibility to prep. An additional task that would take away time we didn’t have. It’s funny and almost comical now as it’s never just one thing and it feels as if all these things gang up on you in a challenge of raising the difficulty notch just a bit. Can you paddle and swim any faster to stay afloat? You know what I mean and you have been there.

At 10:20 PM we finally call it quits, only now the alarm won’t set on the building due to various faults. The gremlins are at it again and more time is required to research the problems as everybody is clocked out and just wants to leave. I finally get the alarm to set, having to bypass some faults impossible to fix at this point. Out we go, I lock the door, we are saying our goodnights and thank you’s for having survived the hectic while rushing to our cars to finally get home. Before the celebration of being done can set in, I check the phone which I abandoned all day due to simply having no time and every minute counts. I see a message from a coworker, answer it real quick and get ready to leave. It rained all day, the windshield is wet and fogged up inside while it is also foggy outside and the clouds are hanging low. And then it happens and a repeat of how the day had progressed is playing Deja vu. Imagine everything happening at the same time, once again. I put the car in gear, start taking off while clearing the windshield in an effort to see better, forget that I parked next to the concrete light post, the wheels are slightly turned and the next thing I hear is metal such as in the form of my front fender and bumper of the pony rubbing up against the yellow post. 😡😡😡. I back up, get out and the damage is done through a  dent on both and the mark of the pole and it’s yellow ugly paint that somehow does not belong on my car. In disbelief of what just happened I get back into the car and of all the weird things that I can do, anger, scream or cry….what do I do???? I just have to sit there for a moment still in disbelief and I check my horoscope???? And to my surprise, clearly it already knew that something like this would happen, maybe I should have checked earlier. That whole scenario was definitely caused by being tired, stressed and in a rush of leaving to get home. I take off to drive home, this time clearing the pole and my celebration is stumped while I doubt that it is yet to happen. While driving, I try to remind myself of how little I’m attached to material things, it’s just a car after all, right, and it’s just cosmetic and not even all thaaaaat bad. Thats what I’m trying to tell myself anyways. I try to see the silver lining as I always do and I realize that it could have been a lot worse. While trying to calm myself, I’m surprised of how much it bothers and pains me, almost as if I purposely inflicted pain onto my vehicle that could have been avoided, like most accidents, (can it even feel the pain, perhaps I’m going crazy) and I feel sorry for it, the car. Is it still about the accident, or has it progressed to something else? Perhaps the high standards I set for myself? Something that silly shouldn’t happen to me after all the years of driving, right? Do I give myself enough credit and why can’t I remember that nobody is exempt and that things like these happen to everybody? 

Instead I continue and focus that on top of my agony now comes the inconvenience and the time requirements to get it fixed. Dealing with the insurance which I’m sure will raise the premium, no matter of how minor the incident, blah blah blah.  Maybe I should wait until after winter and maybe it’s just time to put that darn Bra on (a present that’s never been on the car) which is collecting dust in the corner, and cover it up for now. I see myself spiraling down the hole of negativity and bitterness and I truly need to snap out of it as I’m depressing myself sounding so negative. If it’s one thing I know for sure, it is that I’m not going there and it’s just not who I am. I need to choose my actions, but not before an apology to my car.

Dear beloved Pony, (it’s a Mustang)
We have shared the road for many years and I remember the first day I saw you.

All shiny on that showroom sales floor, you were perfect and it was love at first sight.

But I didn’t want to be superficial and base our relationship on your good looks alone for it mattered much more of what was on your inside.

The salesman turned the key and as you came to life, I started to choke up from your sound and from what you had to say. You spoke to my heart and  I had to walk away for a moment as I felt the emotions come up. I was simply overcome.

I knew right then that we were meant to be and that I somehow had to take you home that day. 

I had to play it cool that day as the negotiations were about to begin to determine your price all while you were already priceless to me. In the end you and I left together and you have been by my side ever since.

Since that day, you have been a faithful companion to me and 160K miles later not once have you left me stranded in all of our adventures pounding black top and a few dirt roads. 

You are powerful when my need for speed and the autobahn surfaces or when we have to clear the field from the back by getting away from all the other crazy drivers. 

I take care of you and you look brand new….not right now but usually you do.

All you ever wanted was new blood every 4-5K and no further maintenance has been required.

In my lifetime of driving and it’s been many years, three incidents have happened and they have all been with you. I’m only counting the one’s that are my fault and have been caused because of being in a rush and not paying a 100% attention. 

I messed your pretty front end up before, grazed and took off your mirror backing out of the garage and now I left yellow battle paint across your fender and your bumper with a few dents. All what the ….. Moments and all caused due to being in a hurry. Perhaps this is meant to be a lesson to slow down and not rush so much that needs to be learned here and the timing is impeccable as the most hectic season in retail is upon us. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this, but timing is seldom perfect and lessons to be learned will come to us at the right time, whether we are ready or not.

I feel bad that it has been you who has worn the physical scars, but it is me who has felt the pain within my heart of these unfortunate mishaps. I have nobody but myself to thank for it and it’s just frustration speaking right now. I know the sooner you are fixed or covered for that fact, the sooner I will move past this.

I’m sorry….and while your physical attributes may be a little flawed on the outside right now and not all battle scars are beautiful, it is me who knows what lies beyond the appearance and nothing has changed. You are as beautiful as ever. 

I am sorry this has happened and I’m sorry for my rush and my ability to focus and pay proper attention in a time that requires constant concentration. 

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Wisdom

The path of the empath 

So what exactly does it mean to be an empath you might ask and I wondered the same the first time I heard the word. I can’t remember how I came across it and it was probably a Facebook quiz I took just for fun, aren’t those hilarious at times, almost like reading the horoscope that can be a hit or miss and in the end you are left to believe what you want to believe anyways. However this one intrigued me in some sense and I vaguely remember googling the word to learn more about the subject which ultimately was describing myself. The article talked about the trademark of an empath and that they feel and absorb the emotions and feelings of others due to their high sensitivities. It could be a blessing or a curse if you don’t learn to center yourself from too many emotions which could leave you feeling overwhelmed.

Another trait was being attuned to people’s mood, good and bad. Taking on too much anger, anxiety and frustration could leave you feeling exhausted and balancing and centering yourself seemed to be the key.

Many empaths were also described as introverts, another statistic I found to be true for myself. Despite wanting to contribute and help others in any form possible, big crowds are usually not my thing. I’m not your cheerleader, jumping up and down kind of girl and it is peace and quiet that speaks to me for the most part at this point of my life. A place I nourish and recover from the hectic, a break away from it if you will.

The article described a higher developed form of intuition and boy did that ever hit the nail on the head. The gut feeling I had about situations and people, the things that nobody else seemed to see and the very things that made me question my sanity at times because I was standing alone, by myself. I saw the intentions that were hiding and I could predict the outcome with the true meaning behind the tactics and behaviors. Nobody saw it until it was too late, even though it seemed so crystal clear to me.

Further the article talked about empaths needing alone time and I think that’s true as well. While many are afraid to be alone, perhaps even stay in relationship out of fear of being alone, I didn’t mind having time to myself. I was fine not having to entertain and just letting my soul hang loose to do whatever, whenever and for however long I wanted to. Of course this would get old if it was always this way and as humans we are meant to interact with others, but I also believe in balance of such and there is nothing wrong with a little alone time.

Another thing that stood out was empath’s falling victim to energy vampires such narcissists. It mentioned them to actually do much more harm than just sucking the energy right out of you. Because of their lack of empathy it would leave an empath feeling unworthy and unloved. Other energy vampires to be considered are drama queens, the chronic talker and the victim. In particular the victim stands out as it is very draining to be around a person like this. The pessimist that has given up on everything and never can see the silver lining and would rather cling to the victim mentality. But then the drama queen and the chronic talker are pretty exhausting too, especially if you need a moment in your quiet place.

Empath’s are restored in nature it read and in a sense it gave understanding as to why I feel so at peace when I’m out on the trail. I always said that I go to nature to recharge my batteries and here it was written in black and white to confirm just that. I already knew without having read the facts.

Besides having highly tuned senses, the article also mentioned that the heart of an empath is often too big. Empath’s try to relieve the pain of others and it is natural for them to reach out to people. But empaths don’t stop there and instead they take it on, which can leave them feeling drained and exhausted even they were fine just a moment ago. Again it is balance and keeping yourself centered that is key in keeping a healthy relationship with your super powers as I call them. And while empaths have special needs, these abilities can be a gift, a blessing and sometimes a curse depending on the situation.

I wonder if you relate with some of these qualities and traits, if you have similar feelings or if this perhaps has shed some light on a few question marks. I definitely would love to hear about it.

Xoxoxoxo ❤️

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Survival, Wisdom

Compassion beyond compassion 

I have worked in a retail environment for all of my life. Reflecting back on my management career, its no surprise that like most things in life there are always pro’s and con’s. A pro I always loved was to help others, inspire in any way that I could, mentor people in their own path, teach and train, as well as pass on my experiences for the evaluation of providing bits and pieces that might be helpful in their own journey. The roles of store management all come with great responsibility on many different levels. Recently I have been reminded of the impact we have every day and while it’s not the financial side of the business I’m thinking about (not immediate, but down the road), it is a payoff that comes in the weeks ahead. I’m talking about the hiring and firing aspect of our jobs and I have seen many mangers taking that aspect of their job to a power struggle, believed to come along with your title. The human piece often lacks substance when it falls victim to the power of feeling superior over others. Luckily I have never found myself on that side of the fence and always viewed my position as a way to help people. I can use my title in a good way in the hopes of being a good role model, even in a savior aspect at times. You never know what somebody is going through, what life has thrown their way and you might just be the one that can help turn it around for the better.

The name of my game has been hiring, hiring, hiring with some pretty steep weekly goals. So if you need work, hit me up and chances are pretty good that I can find a spot that is perfect for you. Hey, plus we could work together 😉. But all jokes aside, this is not my first rodeo and I have hired many times before. Still something has changed and something has become more obvious to me. Perhaps I find myself in a different phase of my life and I should say that when you interview with me, you probably won’t find yourself in a typical job interview. I get why you are here, you need a job and my goal is to move beyond the basics. You can google all the perfect answers to a job interview and prepare for it, but I don’t care much about that because I want to get to know YOU. What are your beliefs, what makes you tick, what’s your pet peeve, strength, weakness, what do you do for fun and things like that. Needless to say it often catches people of guard because it is the formal interview template they expect. And while finding themselves in a total different scenario, it causes people having to open up a bit, while giving you the chance to see the true self and not just a robot that has studied the answers. This has provoked some very realistic life responses and an honest glimpse into the life and hardship of others. The misery and poverty, the real life problems and hardship. It has become so much more than just a job interview as I felt that in many cases I was the last straw of hope. Opening up about their struggles it became apparent that they had fallen on hard times and in many cases life had turned its back on them. Hard workers for sure, what was missing was somebody that would provide the chance, a fresh start if you will. The employer, the business would gain a great employee if only they were given the opportunity to prove it.

Over the past few weeks, I have met a few people like this and feel fortunate of being in a position to provide this chance needed. I have been touched by the stories and the pain associated with the struggle. I have seen tears during the interview process while breathing hope back into the my interviewees, and I have felt the pain these souls have endured. I have starred into the ugly faces and the aftermath of racism, what it can do to a person and the destruction that is left behind. I have spoken to parents fleeing their home state to provide a better life to their children who are bullied in school because they come from an interracial marriage. The list goes on and I’m proud to have these people on our team. I’m grateful to been given the opportunity to help and make a difference and I look forward to continue our journey as a team. 

I have hired people for many years and provided these opportunities before. And yet I have experienced something on a deeper level about myself with all of it’s pro’s and con’s. I am an empath and it is my deeper developed intuition that causes me to pick up on the struggles of somebody else and look beyond the face in front of me. It feels as if I can stare into the soul of the person, but it also works with people I never met. I feel it through the words and the writing and while not knowing any of the details, I get a pretty good idea about somebody and their intentions of doing good or bad in life. I’m still deciding if this is a blessing or a curse as it often leaves you standing alone and few see whatever it is you are picking up on. Whether it is a vibe, certain vibrations, the sparkle that seems to be lost in someone’s eye, a gut feeling…..whatever it might be that you are picking up on, I will continue to view it as a gift as long as I am in a position to make a difference. Because in the end it is all I could ever ask for and it is the highest reward I could ever reap. 

Posted in Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening, Survival, Wisdom

A warriors victory 

Yesterday my friend at pattyspathtohealing reblogged one of my posts The Fight and I know that the words have meant a great deal to her. I feel honored, but most of all I am grateful to have come across Patty and learn more about the wonderful person she truly is. There have been tough times and while many of us endure struggle at some point of our lives, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain Patty had to experience. She is a Warrior Queen and strong, she is an inspiration and a fighter. 

Tonight I want to share a few more words dedicated to Patty and anybody that can find value in the message. Never give up, it only takes one day to completely change your life. Step by step….

She grips on to her balance as she watches and says nothing.

The silence screams within, for there is plenty to say,

if only someone would listen. 

There is a storm in her heart, and she fights the demons that haunt her, 

she fights for her voice to be heard.

She chooses her battles wisely, as not all are worth the fight,

and it’s peace and harmony she much rather live. 

But don’t be fooled by her calm and her gentle smile.

Don’t be fooled and abuse her soft nature,

for she is a fighter, for she is beautiful and strong.

She is a warrior and a warriors victory she will claim.


Posted in Adventure, Emotions, Experience, Feelings, Human spirit, Inspiration, Life, Life lessons, Motivation,, My story, Purpose driven, Self help, Spiritual awakening

The fight…

Today I need a little reminder to continue to work towards my goals. To remind myself that it is me who creates the future and that it is me who will make it all happen. There will be no regrets to take a leap, only a few more pieces that have to fit into their rightful spot.
So put your war bonnet on and fight for what you believe in. After all “Life is short”

Rhapsody Bohème

A little inspiration and my mantra for today. Nothing comes easy or is a given. Today I remind myself to fight for what I believe in and marvel in the pursuit to uncover the true meaning of my purpose. I remind myself to make my dreams happen instead of waiting for them to fall into place. And most of all I remind myself to enjoy the journey and to not forget how to live,  for it is then that I truly feel alive.

Best to all…❤️

She has a quiet confidence that screams loud.

She is humble, but strong.

She is stable, but rebellious.

She is giving, but not naive.

She chooses her battles wisely.

She’ll stay silent until it’s time to fight and when that time comes,

she will fight and she will win.

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