There have been a lot of “maybe’s” lately. Things and thoughts that occupy my mind, begging me to consider different angels, and out of the box thinking approach. What’s really next, where do I go from here?
Maybe soon my health will be under control, and warmer weather with less storm patterns will bring improvements, and less pain. Maybe I can actually get some stuff done then.
Maybe I won’t feel so tired and fatigued. Maybe I could read more blogs and respond to comments in a more timely fashion. I definitely owe it to you. Maybe I could do more for all of you. Maybe…
I don’t work, and yet getting healthy and well has been hard work. Draining, especially when a good night sleep is scarce and interrupted by pain that never stops. It surely is trying sometimes, and the tears fall trying to understand the lesson or what is going on. Maybe better times are around the corner.
Maybe I need to step away from blogging on a regular / daily basis for awhile. It feels strange to consider such thought and yet today was the first time it popped into my head. I think it was actually a message I got the other day that prompted me to consider where I currently spend my time, energy, and strength on. All I know is that I can’t do it all and there is simply not enough time in the day for me.
Maybe my hands could get better, typing less, looking after my fingers. Maybe…But then maybe movement is exactly what they need. Who knows what will actually make the inflammation go away.
I have been job hunting, but nothing has really grabbed me, or has been meant to be. Yet I have tons of creative ideas with old and new found projects that I want to explore, and to which I feel drawn to. Things I am excited about, things that beckon me to imagine and manifest the life I seek. Things that call on me to be realized, dreams to materialize, if only I find the courage to dare.
Maybe, this ordinary job search is not how the path is suppose to unfold. Will I manage and muster the strength to reach for the stars, to create something extraordinary, to have faith during the unknown, to stay the course, or will I do the same as always and find myself lost in the shuffle. You see, if we do the same as always, we also get the same results as always, and somehow these results are no longer enough for me.
It’s not about the six figure income, the money, the titles or the prestige, to be the best in your field, the success or being the head honcho. I had it all and it’s not what I want anymore. What it boils down to is to be fulfilled, to have something meaningful, something that brings joy, no matter how little or small it might be. I don’t want the same….I want something else, something I perhaps never had before. I gladly give up my possessions to become richer as I fully embrace the less is more concept. I want to work for myself, I want to create and give back, to help people and bring something special to the table, something unique, something that allows my passion and talents take flight, to offer a service, to finally listen to the call.
In the meantime I am exploring my options, and I am working on some projects to support these dreams. The goal is to die young and as late as possible, with a life, independent, collecting moments and memories in a tiny home on wheels. Let’s see how far this can go. A determined mind is a powerful one, and I have always believed in the strength that we can do anything if we put our mind to it.
A dear friend and sister of mine always says that there are no ordinary moments. I believe she is right and everything happens for a reason. Maybe the path has always been predetermined, maybe we just need to learn to let go and go with the flow. What if everything in life has lead up to this point? Maybe, just maybe everything is exactly how it is meant to be.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
What a wild ride….maybe….just maybe….