Posted in Acceptance, Indivituality, Life

The Rebellion of the black sheep

Art by the amazing Sophie Wilkins

“Rebellion can make us feel ostracized from the group, turning us into the black sheep of our family or community. But the black sheep are the artists, visionaries and healers of our culture, because they are the ones willing to call into question those places which feel stale, obsolete, or without integrity.

The black sheep stirs up the good kind of trouble. Her/his very life is a confrontation with all that has been assumed as tradition. Her/him being different serves to bring the family or group to consciousness where it has been living too long in the dark. As the idiom implies, she is the wayward one in the flock. Her life’s destiny is to stand apart. But paradoxically, it’s only when honors that apartness that she finally fits in.

The world needs your rebellion and the true song of your exile. In what has been banned from your life, you find a medicine to heal all that has been kept from the world. We must find the place within where things have been muted and give that a voice. Until those things are spoken, no truth can find its way forward. The world needs your unbelonging. It needs your disagreements, your exclusion, your ache to tear the false constructions down, to find the world behind this one.”

It was this very excerpt from the Book “Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home” by Toko-pa Turner which actually made me order it. It spoke to me on so many levels and it is not the first time that I have written about the black sheep. I loved reading about her perspective on the subject and see it in a different view as all too often the black sheep is perceived as someone who is difficult, a little extra, a little hard to handle. But what makes them a little extra, a little difficult and hard to handle? Perhaps it is because they know, see and feel too much, often challenging things that feel out of alignment. To another, not yet willing to confront these issues, this behavior must feel overwhelming and daunting. Perhaps even so stressful that they avoid contact at all or at least minimize it. The black sheep in return often can’t realize or understand the inner working of such dynamic and begins to feel like an outcast, like being punished. It appears like another prime example of prime timing and how fragile, detailed and perfect everything has to be between all involved for life to unfold in a perfect manner. There will always be misunderstandings, different opinions, different points on our journey that will lead to different realities. But what a beautiful description to view the black sheep from a new and much more positive angle.

I am sure that many of you will relate and feel or have felt like this at one point of your journey. Remember that your special gift is needed in the quest of authenticity, uniqueness and finding the world behind this one. And remember that if you ever felt like you are not fitting into this world, it is because you were chosen to help create a new one. So go ahead and inspire on, you are amazing just the way you are.

Posted in Acceptance, Inspiration, Peace, Wishes

Making peace with ourselves and others

Sometimes we need to make peace with ourselves and with others. Simply because we deserve it. Perhaps an incident in the past has you still thinking, still feeling bad, still wishing things could have been different. Maybe you write your thoughts on paper and later burn them to release the energy. Or maybe you go a step further and present those lines and your most humble self in a letter to that person. Maybe it is time to make peace and even if there is no response back, you still took a step to own what was yours, you got it off of your chest and hopefully can clear the heaviness. If this seems too far fetched and impossible, take a moment and see why you feel this way. Ask the ego and pride to step aside, silence the mind and let the heart decide. Do you feel that it is not worth it to do the work, that the other person is not deserving of your kindness! If so, consider that this is not really you talking, saying that somebody isn’t worth it. It’s a really a hard thing to say. But even if that is how you feel, holding it in and not releasing the energy will actually do more harm than good. You might be surprised how free and peaceful you feel after you made peace with someone, a situation and yourslef.

Posted in Acceptance, Inspiration, Lightheartet, Self care

Selfie reflection

Just the other day I wrote about the loved and hated Selfie. All of a sudden it appeared to me that actually a few months had passed since I posted a selfie. Not that it was a regular habit. As I looked back on that time, I noticed the difficulties of those weeks and how they had weighted on me. I felt lost during that time of stress, enormous obligations and responsibilities, although I had it easy in many ways. But having to come to terms with so many challenges of my life all at once, was anything but simple. When I look at the few pictures from that time, I see it all over my face. It appeared bloated and swollen. The glow was the first thing to go and I looked dull, wrinkled, with the burden of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t like what I was seeing and the mirror was definitely not my friend. So what does that mean in terms of taking selfies? Is it indeed so that we only take them when we feel good about ourselves? When we feel sexy and our chances are higher that the world will love us back? Perhaps it plays a part in it and who wants to record a moment of misery and pain! It would probably take further analyzation and I didn’t care too much about anything at that time. All I wanted was to make it through and a selfie was the last thing on my mind. It became clear that I had lost much more than my desire for a selfie. I had become a serious person, functioning, performing, almost like on auto pilot. I forgot to have fun and without fun and enjoyment everything is nothing more that a task, something to get done. I was there to work, to get a job done. So yes, selfies can also be fun at times I suppose and some of the responses I have learned is that we take selfies to measure progress for ourselves. And with that and with whatever reason you have to take a selfie, don’t forget to have some fun with it. I am choosing to have some more fun after the first half of the year and beyond a surface level, perhaps a few selfies help restore and motivate.

Posted in Acceptance, Confidence, Emotions

The loved and hated Selfie

You know her all too well and from time to time she litters your online screen. The “Selfie Queen” herself. I have been no stranger to taking a selfie here and there, to record a moment, a mood, a point along the journey, a progress, a diary showcased in tiny little squares that are my life.

But is that all there is to these pictures? How are they perceived and could there be more? I have to admit I’ve been guilty of rolling my eyes a few times, especially when one refers to themselves as a model who isn’t one, the “it girl” or the “glam girl.” So why would that be bothersome and invoke such reaction? I think in this case it wasn’t a violation of “live and let live,” it was just the excess of it and too much of a good thing. A difference in perception of what is and what is not. And yet it remains a delicate balance because who is to say what is and isn’t too much? Look at our celebrities and their profiles. We are groomed into thinking that it is normal, that we too need to record our life to have something tangible to show for. Something like a lifetime of selfies and recording the progress. And that reason I actually like and it’s a little like a diary, a memory that will speak for us some day that we were here. I wonder if everyone chooses this to be the reason, but most likely it is impossible…really….

There is no answer that is a one fits all and each case is individual and personal. At times it might come across as vanity, being full – and in love with yourself, trying to show off and the likes. But sometimes the ones who post the most selfies are actually the loneliest of them all. They post not to record the journey, but to get attention. They need the validation from the outside world, an acceptance of fitting in and being liked. Their self worth is measured on that selfie, how many likes it is getting and what the response is from society. Perhaps it is validation that they still got it, a reassurance they are still desired. I think it can hold many different reasons. It could be as innocent as sharing a progress, showing and motivating others by putting a face and image to the story. But whatever it might be, it is personal and our opinions about it is nothing else but judgement towards a person, a situation, a behavior, a mood. Our days are filled with judgements from the morning we get up until we go to rest again. At any given moment we make decisions, pro and cons, likes and dislikes, all based on perception and our individual preferences. There is nothing wrong with it unless we hurt another with our actions. So for today I say “Go ahead and let Selfie Queen have her moment.”

Posted in Acceptance, Healing

Venus Butterfly

Salvador Dali – Venus Butterfly, 1947

“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” L.R. Knost

Posted in Acceptance, Life, Surrender, Wisdom

Acceptance and surrender

Maybe you too have arrived at this Point of your magical map through life and you relate. It’s been a long road but in hindsight, looking back, everything happened in divine timing, for divine reasons. You have heard the saying below but maybe just like me the later part is new and puts things into perspective even more. Have a look…

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

“What is for me will not go past me.”

“Rejection is God’s protection.”

“Spirit is the source of my supply.”


Posted in Acceptance, Change, Journey

As my world changes

As the facebook memories flash from years long gone, it dawns on me that there was a time I had to say quite a bit. I shared quotes, advice, my life, my ideas and achievements. I did it all. Perhaps I still do in the form of this blog, but it also has gotten a lot more quiet and I don’t feel the need to share that much anymore. So what hs changed? Do I care less because of it!!!

As I sit here and analyze the why’s, I actually pinpoint a variety of reasons. One being that on Facebook everybody is leading the perfect life it seems and it’s always a little bit like “hey look at me, look what I got or what I did.” It feels like showing off, a bit like competing and I have lost the drive to compete. Not on those terms anyway and not in the way to impress others to hopefully gain a liking. But I still invite a little friendly competition that unfolds in the right way. The honest, authentic way that is.

I have nothing to prove anymore, too tired to explain all the complex details that can’t be summarized in a casual conversation. To even attempt it feels like a waste of time and honestly it stands in the way of what I try to accomplish every day. Being true to myself and my most authentic being has become the only way for me. In the process of it I’ve gotten quiet and sometimes a busy society quickly forgets you when you are quiet and don’t compete for attention. Everyone wants the cheerleader but only your true friends will hear you through the silence. Some will interpret it like you have nothing to offer, while being still and at peace should be one of the greatest treasures to pursue. I know that I have separated and I am in a league of my own. I want true friendships and they have nothing to do with what material wealth and status I can bring to it.

The other thing is that during those years when I shared a lot, I needed reassurance and confirmation from others. I needed their approval and I needed to feel that I was not alone. It was a time I was partly lost, on an unsteady path in my journey. I offered my contributions by putting myself out there and from time to time others related when I wasn’t too uniquely and different. When I wasn’t too far off the mark. Fact is, I was always different in some way. Sometimes I just needed that input and that validation. I realize that all these years of too much chatter actually were the longest of them all. I sold myself in effort to be likable. Truth is that I was really unsure of a lot of things, I struggled with the changes, the unlearning, the ditching of lifelong traditions and conditioning. I was on shaky ground. I needed to hear that there were others and that it wasn’t me who was going crazy.

That need is no longer here and without it, it has gone quiet. I no longer depend on being heard, being validated and understood. It’s nice and an amazing bonus if these things fall into place somehow, but they no longer take center stage. I just do my thing, doing ME, and I do it from the heart and with love while the mind is trying to catch up…that’s all. And I hope that’s not all that awful at all.