Love is the answer to everything and yet sometimes we forget. The most profound memory I have to love being the answer is when I was in Germany during my ten month stay with Mom. She was very ill and it was the year before her passing. Many hard feelings from her side came to the surface and she was lashing out at me with words that cut like a knife. It was years of suppressed anger concerning a decisions I made that left her feeling as if I didn’t choose her, but rather left her behind. There came a day when I realized that that anger had to be released, it had to be spoken and voiced before peace and forgiveness could take place. But realization was more im hindsight and at the time it was hard to see it for what it was. Some of the things I experienced at that time were beyond hard and hurtful to hear. I even had to walk away from her a few times. Perhaps because I was going through my own motions, and I wasn’t going to let her see how badly she was wounding me. Now I look at it and I wouldn’t hide behind pride or fear or whatever emotion that prevented me to show my feelings ever again. They would be on a platter, open, honestly, raw, in all its vulnerability.
And then something changed. I let her rant and rave. I allowed all the rage to come out and in silence I let her say everything she needed to say without defending myself. Without arguing back at her, telling her about her own faults, I just let it be and rested my case. I was at a point I knew I had said everything I needed to say, nothing would make a difference anymore but only drive the knife deeper. It was time for her to realize this but in her rage she couldn’t and eventually I walked away. Wounded and badly hurt, my heart breaking, in tears. You could have thought that this was the end and we’d never ever speak again. Surely, enough had happened to warrant for it, but that very night I came back and brought her soup. It was my version of love is the answer and everything changed from that moment and her guards dropped.
Love is the answer and yet sometimes we forget in the heat of the moment. Sometimes we are in a battle with ourselves and nobody else is involved. Our reaction could be triggered by an old wound or a situation we still struggle with. We end up lowering our vibrations as we let pain, fear, anger, disappointments, revenge, gossip and greed sneak in. All of these traits we might identify our shadow self with which is often believed to be the dark side of us, the one that reacts so out of character, so out of the way we usually handle ourselves. We have talked many times about the shadow self and I hope we remember that even our shadow self needs love. That love is the answer and that these unfavorable traits were created due to wounds based on the experiences of our life. And it all experiences were within our control, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
Love is the answer and yet sometimes we forget. Practice makes perfect they say and awareness is everything. Imagine what could be if we noticed our slip into lower vibrations. That moment of noticing gives us the opportunity to correct our course and change our habit. Our old ways, our outdated systems. They also say that it takes 30 days to change a habit, to create the new and make it stick. So that very moment of noticing allows us to transform back to compassion, forgiveness, understanding and love which will translate ultimately into peace. Peace of mind, peace and calm within. It might be the most crucial part of our existence, one that could prevent hardships and even chronic illnesses. Could this moment bring the balance we need while we re-center ourselves in love? It doesn’t matter how long it takes or even how often it happens. The only thing that matters is that we notice when it happens, to take the opportunity, to re-center in love, and trust that eventually these moments will become less and less. More and more of our actions will be centered in love, turning into habits, while being less reactive, but nonetheless become more accepting. Being more of a healthy balance and a wonderful gift, one only we can give to ourselves.