Posted in Anxiety, Chronic illness, Health

Time to face the music

It’s been 4 years since my last doctors appointment, until today. While I often consider myself to be my own best adviser and caregiver, I realize that from time to time I need a little extra help in addition to what I can do. This seems to be such a time, as my constant never seems to fade too far away anymore and is always present. By the time this post goes active, my initial visit will be behind me and hopefully I can feel good about it. I’ve been assigned to a female doctor and hopefully she can see more in me than just a dollar sign and can understand my concerns. There are other health providers and options I want to explore such as functional medicine where I believe my solution lies, and where there is a better collaboration between patient and provider such as a team effort, but at the moment I am under time constraints and have no choice. What I have to tackle in the near future requires a more steady self, one that can power through what needs to be done in Germany. I can’t afford to sit back and see what day it’s gonna be, to listen to my body and rest of it resists. I need to get stuff done and quickly at that.

I am sure a barrage of tests will be in line as I am starting at square one with a new general doctor. A relation, knowledge and history has to be established and old health records may not be in existence anymore since my old rheumatologist moved away 4 years ago. From there I will face other specialist referrals and the whole nine yards of bloodwork and on. I already can think of a few self diagnosis’s, but I need help with the RA right now and can’t wait.

I am not a pill taker, especially not when it comes to these harsh meds, but I have to see it as a temporary solution and not as a permanent choice. After all I have been here before, haven’t I, a few times actually, and this time I am putting forth an even bigger attempt and effort to live pain free down the line. I have been nearly coffee free for almost three weeks. One cup on Sunday is my splurge and this week I tolerated it without a flare up. New nutrition is being added while old culprits are taken off. It’s still too early to say what works and whether it is turning into a long term benefit, but time will tell and I am paying attention very closely.

I am planning to go to Germany the beginning to mid march and hope to have found some relief until then. To me the pills are a last resort and I don’t even know if I can or will commit to them a 100%. I will have to see how it goes and what is in store for me. I need to halt the damage to my bones permanently and inflammation is the biggest tackle for me. For the past week my feet were killing me. First my hand / wrist and as soon as that got better, the problems shifted to the feet, neck and shoulders. It was like walking on bones without any cushioning. Also the sides of my feet were so painful, I had to google what it could be. Surprise, all things courtesy to the arthritis and inflammation. I am optimistic that with diet changes that addresses leaky gut, gout, and inflammation, (my self diagnosis), the inflammation markers will reduce as well as weight will be shed. I am hoping this translates into overall health improvements.

On the stress front and after Germany, a huge burden should be lifted and I can resume my life according to my own dreams. This should fuel and motivate me. It shall be the wind beneath my wings. Further lifestyle changes, daily meditation and actively pursuing energy healing and what I have learned so far, will be powerful tools that will bring balance. It looks like I have a plan, and I am asking the universe to support me, for my intentions are clear and not to be mistaken. ~Namaste


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

4 thoughts on “Time to face the music

  1. Go for it Rhapsody, sending you lots of energy for your wings dear lady, may it lighten the load, lose the laments and love you lots…and if that doesn’t work…a bloody big hug anyway. I believe in you, as I know your heart does too 😂 🤣 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

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