Posted in Emotional Pain, Feelings, Pain, Soul

Souls who feel too much

I’ve said it before and I say it again. I have always felt too much. Always too deeply and I don’t even know when it started or how else I could be. I have analyzed it and I can’t find a concrete answer as to why it is this way. It just is. It’s like a love – hate – love affair that takes on different meanings, different turns from time to time. On one side I don’t want to change a thing because how else could I ever truly experience the depths of life. Of living vs just existing. All moments would pass with no significant meaning, one day after another, one month after another, year after year. What would be the meaning of life, of our purpose, of our journey if we didn’t feel deeply within our hearts! On the other side it is that very vulnerability, that feeling too much at times that shatters and breaks my heart into a 1000 pieces. Over and over again as if there are no lessons learned, no way to correct the course and protect the heart. It’s all or nothing, and there is no in between. It’s a pain that is felt to the core, that reaches every corner, holding it in a tight grip. A grip that chokes and sometimes squeezes the life right out of you. And that pain changes everything.

Pain is life altering and most often turns us into a different person than we were before. It’s a long bumpy ride with many obstacles and many fights and struggles that take place all within ourselves, often deeply hidden and unknown to the public. But we know, don’t we? Hopefully we can look back and say that we changed for the better, even in times when it’s hard to imagine. Pain has many faces and many names but in my journey with the physical pain and the RA, or my journey on an emotional level and chasing love all of my life, I’ve had many opportunities to throw in the towel and just give up. It is true that souls who feel more, also hurt more. Feeling too much comes with a heavy price tag and is no easy trait. It demands our hearts to break over and over with every experience while encountering the hurt, in whatever shape and form it comes to find us. Feeling too much is the ultimate test between giving up and learning to embrace the pain. I feel it every weekend, but that’s for another story and another post.

You know that I have chosen the later, the optimistic route, to embrace, but it doesn’t always make it easier. It’s just a mindset, a way of being, of not giving up and a means to proceed. It get’s tested often, sometimes to the breaking point. Leaving our hearts wide open is something many don’t dare to do and honestly I totally understand and can’t blame them. Being taken advantage off – get’s old, being hurt – get’s old, and it’s not pretty. But what we don’t realize, is that every experience makes us stronger. So strong that they say we become unbreakable. I wonder what that will feel like and I’m definitely not there yet. Would that mean that I become so strong that I become insensitive to what is happening? Will I become numb to it all and not feel at all anymore? And if so wouldn’t that defeat the entire purpose as to why we have chosen to feel it all?

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

15 thoughts on “Souls who feel too much

  1. I hear you, dear Rhapsody.
    Many years ago, I was feeling very deeply all the time. Life kicked in and by the years and not so good experiences, I have learned not to let everything into my heart.
    New souls need to show me, they are worth letting them in. I do still become disappointed by humans and do feel the hurt, when I allowed someone in, who shouldn’t have been so close to my heart.
    I hope for you, that you will learn to take better care of yourself to avoid such hard pains.
    Much love to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I have learned this already and yet it feels like I might have not executed it a 100% yet. I think I will always feel too much and it’s part of who I am. The lesson here is to remember which pains are yours to carry and which are not. To be cautious but not discriminating. Great advice and much love to you my friend. 💙

      Liked by 1 person

  2. No numbness, thankfully. It is, again, just our fears. While ever we hold them, they hold us. We attract whatever is needed to break through those fears, and take on all those ‘energies’ accordingly. When we see through and understand our fears…we let them go and no longer attract those energies. We then, now being fully open, can operate under any circumstances. I can do a healing, go through the most horrendous events with another and I will cry my eyes out in empathy and compassion with them…but I know that all of it is not mine because I no longer doubt myself and it has nowhere to hold.
    In almost anything you do, you will have doubts of yourself. Some things your good at and this will not bother you to any degree and leaves no after affects. But in anything that you are unsure of or struggle with, it takes it out of you. If you are doubtful of your self love, that is what fears are made up of and you give out that conditional (fearful) love. If you are fearful, as we all are in one way or another, we hold that out in front of us in everything, even if we are good at it, it will leave affects. Remove those fears in understanding them and it will almost shock you over in how much we do actually hold and carry against ourselves just under normal conditions. That is what we give out, those conditions we place on ourselves. Once we let go of our fears we actually begin to ‘give out’ what we have become, that love we are now giving ourselves. This is unconditional and has nowhere for anything to hold. Our entire journey is slowly teaching us to remove those doubts, those fears within us, and by experiencing them can then truly appreciate the unconditional when we embrace it…by letting it all go ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Where do I even begin to respond to this. It’s perfect, spoken from a divine soul, and it makes perfect sense. It’s all of the above and I can recognize every word, while seeing my successes and the struggles that sometimes we think we have overcome already, but which still linger. Perhaps the saying that I am work in progress was born from such a moment. Thank you so much my friend. You are nothing short of amazing and beyond 💙😘🙏🏼🦋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you kind lady, and we are indeed a work in progress my friend, slowly shining that love we are allowing to come through. Bit by bit and sometimes even big ones we suddenly understand will open us more and need to attract less. I was so amazed to see it all come together so perfectly even though we mostly see us in a mess. I think as we understand we are moving back from the tree’s and slowly see that forest in our hearts 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

        Liked by 1 person

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