Posted in Healing, Inner Child, Journey

Inner Child healing

Dad & me

Inner child healing is said to be an essential part of inner work. The dictionary describes inner work as the psychological and spiritual practice of diving deep into your inner self for the purposes of self-exploration, self-understanding, healing, and spiritual transformation. For me it was mainly connected with a desire to understand myself, as well as my various behaviors and reactions. My goal was to learn about triggers and wounds created early on in life, with the hope to bring healing and addressing a pain body that was rooted on an emotional level, and in turn resulting in a pain body that made itself visible in the form of RA flare up’s. Trapped emotional trauma that was stored and unresolved transformed into the physical form and in my case into chronic disease.

I have only come across inner child healing earlier this year and already, it has become an essential part of my journey. It has opened my eyes and unlocked secrets. It has brought me face to face with myself and transformed pain into healing and love. It is also described as the psychotherapeutic or spiritual process of changing yourself to become the person you know you can be. To go through this process of embarking on such deep and profound work, we have to recognize that certain things within us are out of balance. We have to admit that we are not perfect, but that we are flawed. We have to express a goal of no longer wanting to turn our heads the other way by ignoring our shadow self and our darker aspects. We have to recognize that nobody is perfect and it includes us….especially us. Doing inner work, means that we have to be honest with ourselves and this is not a time for foolish pride. In the process of it we need to recognize and observe that we act out of character in certain situations. We need to pinpoint what it is that we would like to change about ourselves. On its own, inner child healing reconnects us to the wounded elements of our inner child within. Inner child healing is the term given to therapeutic work on childhood wounds. It is an effort to correct and to balance, to remove and to heal while expressing a desire to achieve inner peace.

Just recently I was thinking about what an enormous responsibility it is to raise children. I was never been gifted with this responsibility, but I pay homage and pull my hat to all of you parents out there who do a fabulous job and show up each and every day. The sacrifices you bring to the table make it easy for me to see that as a parent you want the best for your child. Often this includes a better life than the one you might have experienced yourself. You pray for a life with less struggles, and smooth sailing as it is your best wish and hope your child lives a healthy, successful and glorious life. Let’s not forget a happy life which is often overlooked and not listed as an essential requirement, but it truly is. You put forth your best every day, all for the well being of your child. After all, you are his/her mentor, guardian and protector, and in many ways you keep him/her safe, providing a roof over their head, food on the table and clothes to wear which is not always a given in many 3rd world countries. And yet it is impossible to protect your beloved from the lessons of life. From the experiences their soul has agreed to have in this lifetime before they were even born. It renders you helpless and you can only watch and support to the best of your ability. My soul has agreed to many years of struggle and to lessons that I yet have to learn. I am still identifying my wounds and the things that are out of balance. I am still discovering things I would like to change about myself. I continue to be my worst critic, but I have also become my best friend and my biggest supporter. Most of all and despite of this ongoing learning process, I am at peace and that’s what’s most important to me. I know that changes will continue to come in their due time and that the lessons and experiences of life will never end. I am ok with it, with this current moment, my now, and don’t need to wish that things could be different. Everything happens in divine timing and I might as well enjoy the current scenery to the best of my ability. I am grateful that I have adapted to a personal concept of finding beauty within a weed, to see something positive amongst the devastation of a Wildfire, that I search for the lessons even amongst the most painful experiences and that I always find a way to keep going.

When it comes to my inner wounds, I know that they are elements that were hurt as a child. Elements that nobody on the sidelines could really protect me from. These elements would follow me all of my life until I was finally ready to stare them into the face and do the healing. It’s something that has to be realized first and too often we don’t even know that such a thing exists. How could we ever be aware that we are missing something, that something needs mending, that something is begging to be healed. It takes a great deal of life experiences and pain that eventually brings this awareness into our life. One such element is a stubborn one and I have tried to heal it several times already. It has to do with my yearning for meaningful relationships and friendships. It branches off into other inner children such as abandonment, unworthiness, invaluable, isolation, a feeling of being left behind, betrayed, taking for granted, and more if this yearning is triggered and not met. While I have healed many of these childhood wounds and inner children, I have yet to learn as to why such a connection is so meaningful to me and why I crave it so much. Perhaps I am still focusing on “too small” (individual connections) and my purpose is even greater than I realize it myself. Time will tell and in the meantime until this divine moment arrives, I am here doing the work and laying the foundation.

I have learned that I don’t need these connections for my own happiness, to feel loved, to feel complete or because I need to feel validated and accepted. I know that I already carry everything I need within me and it does bring great comfort. I know that happiness is not dependent on others, but others can surely enrich a state that is already present. I know that in life we might never be all that we hope in the eyes of every single person. It’s simply impossible and we don’t always connect on the same level. Yet there remains a yearning to share life, to feel connected to someone or something other than myself. I am pondering what that is and where this wound was created. I am sure it has to do with the early death of my father and the harsh feeling of being left behind. A feeling of abandonment and missed chances. A feeling of last moments without realization they would never return, and having to come to terms with a new way of life and without him. I am pondering the name of this wound and while I could call it a great many names, I am searching for the main umbrella that encompasses all the other wounds and reactions thereof. Perhaps that’s why it has been so difficult to address and heal this specific one. Therefore I relive some of the same experiences and emotions over and over. The same hopes surface and the same disappointments follow. Today, I am merely recognizing that I have a little more work to do and that this inner child is not completely healed yet. I understand that a lesson will repeat until it is learned and I’m committed to break the repeat cycle. I wonder what the lesson is and how it is healed. Personally I am tired of this teacher and I want to waive farewell as I integrate it with my soul and shower it with love. I haven’t quite figured out this season for a reason thing yet and why people come and go so frequently. Why potentially meaningful relationships are reduced to encounters, an acquaintance, or nothing at all. Why interests and needs change so quickly and not over time, why it is a use and be used kind of experience and why time is simply up. Am I truly the only one feeling this way!

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

31 thoughts on “Inner Child healing

  1. You are really doing well, dear Rhapsody.
    Inner child healing is a huge work and different for each of us. We need to be ready to dig deep and remember this work demands lots of time and to be patient with ourselves.
    To be a parent is also a huge work and I think, that mostly of us do our best every day to create the best possible life for our children.
    Send you much love ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear lady, that child (literally), blocked that hurt wherever it came from, slowly building that wall to those moments whenever that pain is felt. But as you go through them later in life you only have that learnt child reaction to them all which effectively will not admit even to themselves what it is…it is too painful. Remember this is a very immature child who does not know any other way to face something like this so it is carried forward into…everything. And the only reason it hurts is because it is as you said, a rejection in whatever form it takes. And the only way to track it down is to look at all of your relationships and find the common denominator in how they make you feel that rejection in whatever way that they do. Then go back to those you loved and looked up to and find that same thing. And trust me, we block it so hard we even say…but my mom and dad were fantastic…until during that inner search you remember something, and then something else, and before you know it out pours this theme of something that makes you feel that same way. You’ll know when you truly touch it, the tears of many years will burst its banks and set you free. Once you see it truly, the wall has broken…and you will then see that it was never an intentional thing, even though it may seem so. They too were brought up the same way and could only bring you up with that same chink in their armor because they knew no other way, they had not ‘healed’ yet when you were born so they could do no other way. AND…because it is our journey, given that pain so we can fight it, understand it, and realize the love inside that is waiting. Only then can we appreciate what we have endured. We only truly appreciate something we have lost, and we lose that love of ourselves in that rejection growing up. Ever looking for that love and happiness ‘out there’ until we realize it is gently waiting within. You are being shown what unconditional love by being shown conditional, and a more beautiful thing you will not find ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. So so much to take away from your words here Mark. For instance I know and learned over time that the hurt was blocked and sent into the deepest corner of my being. So far actually that I almost forgotten. It wasn’t until much later when I was ready to face that pain that it came back to the surface.
      When it comes to relationships and friendships I think much depends on our personal state, where we are in our journey and how much inner work, child healing and shadow work we have done to address and heal those wounds. Maybe that is the very difference between taking things personal and in a hurtful way vs seeing them for what they are and that they are not intentional. I think this has been a big learning curb for me.
      I also know that while my parents made mistakes and some of these wounds were created, they also did the best they could. I am aware of the tough journey my Mom had and she simply didn’t know any different. I have never held it against her but I have become aware and sometimes I feel like she was a relatively young soul with limited experiences and knowledge. 💙🙏🏼🐕🌸

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      1. They are indeed the very thing to take us on our journey. And much beauty and love are inside those souls who know exactly where they need to go, for us and them. We’ll get there, stubborn as we are it is that long, slow process that makes sure we clear out the cobwebs and begin to rebuild from a very beautiful foundation 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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      2. I think it need to be slow and stubborn so we can let everything sink in and integrate into our being. On the fast track we would miss a lot of things that are vital for our journey. 😘💙🦋🙏🏼🌸

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  3. Rhapsody, I’ve felt the same feelings. Like Mark commented, I started to feel less victimized and alone when I realized my parents were struggling with their own flaws. They made mistakes. But they loved me the best they could at that time. With that lens, I can see in hindsight the past in a less hurtful way. And for my family, in spirit, I know I’m not alone and I am loved 💕 Hope that helps 💕 I so enjoy your insights 🙏

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is indeed a beautiful and soothing way to look at it and it has made a world of difference for me too. I don’t have hard feelings for any shortcomings, mistakes or else. I was mainly raised by my mother from the age of 10 when my father did. She had to be a strong woman and where she ruled her world with her head, I tend to life mine with my heart. In the end I know that they did the best they could under the circumstances and that will always be enough for me. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for stopping by. Your words mean a lot and they do make a difference. Much love to you 💙😘

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  4. It is not certainly only you who feels this way. Your ponderings and reflections are deep, true and resonant to me. I too feel like I signed up for this relentless life course with one lesson after the other, with no respite whatsoever. I don’t seem to want to have it any other way than look at things squarely in the eye of it, trace the experiences back to their core wounds and patterns, finding and questioning continually what makes for a blessed life. I agree with you about the sacred role of parents and how they inherently sign up for showing up day after day for the well being of their child to the best of their ability no matter what. I have felt lost, alone, and confused over the temporary nature of relations, finding them mostly transactional for the use and being used in them. And yet finding fulfillment in knowing that some relations were of highest service both ways, and that it is me who has signed up to keep moving on authentically, not linger where I no longer belong. I wish to share with you this poem that came through me when I was confused about similar things. I would be happy and humbled if you would read it, hoping you find it relevant.
    https://pragalbhadoshi.wordpress.com/2017/07/13/a-young-dilemma/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are speaking from my heart. Unfortunately that we have to feel that way and transactional hits the nail on the head.
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience, your words and your beautiful poem. You are such a special soul and I hope you know what a difference you make. Don’t ever change, you are amazing. Big love to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My world has been hemmed in from about age 5 by being responsible. I do love the boys, but yes..Rhapsody, those walls are so strong. As a young adult I learned a song. ‘You can build a bridge or you can build a wall, it all depends on the love you give. If you build a wall, your world is small, but a bridge of love will conquer all.’ Trite, but with that truth hidden inside. So much of my world is still behind walls. It is easy to love, but if people really knew me, they’d not. Which is why it is so much easier to speak online and how interesting it is that people I’ve met here are better friends than anyone within walking distance! Bless you for being in that world of bridges. Thank you for this post–

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    1. Mine as I was 10 and childhood ended in many ways. What came into my life was a seriousness, a holding it together and being strong.
      I love the song you learned as a young adult and I would always rather build bridges. I think sometimes we don’t realize that we have built a wall to protect ourselves from being hurt. And yes the world appears a bit fake at times, not realistic and authentic when everyone is pretending and hiding behind a wall. How is one to stand out and not fall into that trap. By being themselves and finding the courage to stand against the rest. Swim against the grain I suppose. A lonely road but one that will always value you being true to yourself. And thank you sweet sister for being in my world of bridges. I am blessed and a richer person because of it. Xo

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  6. You are doing some incredibly brave and important work here. Trying to address and tend to these wounds of our inner child is so complicated. Yet venturing into this work makes it possible to address and tend to those old wounds that have been cast aside yet linger and continue to impact us as adults. I applaud your courage and vulnerability here. 💗💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sorry for the super late response, and thank you so much for your wonderful words. It always warms my heart to hear back on how my humble musings touch those who stumble across them. 🙏🏼💙
      It is brave work isn’t it, and yet there comes a point and time when the scariness lessens and when we are more apt and willing to learn about our own complexity and who we truly are. It’s like an adventure on its own and yes, we might not always like what we see or find, but if we are not ready to be honest with ourselves, then perhaps this journey is not ready to be started. 🙏🏼💙

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