Posted in Dance, Fun, Inspiration

Dear Dance of Life

When was the last you danced like no one is watching? With childlike abandonment, just being silly, acting cheeky monkey, not caring to make a fool out of yourself? I hope it hasn’t been as long as it has for me and dancing through life is a regular practice for you. Believe it or not, I actually had such a few crazy minutes just recently. It’s been a long time and it was needed, and it felt wonderful.

Fact is that all summer long I was crippled by so much pain that there wasn’t even the faintest thought of dancing. When life becomes a major chore, there is nothing easy about moving your feet. There was no lightness in any forced step and every little thing took a huge effort. Holding a plate, getting dressed, opening a bottle or a jar, trying to comb my hair, reaching above my head, day to day life was one big struggle. There were days when the pain eased a little, allowing hope to flood into my veins once more even though pain was never completely absent. Pain remained a constant every day. I was afraid to write about it when I experienced “a better day” as I might have jinxed myself each time and would always revert back to my crippled state. “The better feeling” never lasted more than a few hours, at most a full day, but I was grateful for the little breaks. They were needed and brought a reminder of what it felt like to be human.

Then, finally I decided that I had no choice but to get Vaccinated. Shortly before that, I came to terms with a major decision about my House in Germany and to sell it. Just the choice of it, no longer being indecisive, not knowing what to do, trying to do right by Mom and working through these motion, lifted a burden, although the work is still ahead of me. Shortly afterwards I noticed that I was making improvements on the health front and that the feeling of “better” was lasting just a little longer. Still I didn’t dare to believe that I was at the brink of sending the RA into remission again and I still don’t fully believe it. But I don’t stress on it and take each day as a gift and blessing. Gift or challenge, each visitor is welcome and hosted accordingly.

Then I got my 2nd Dose of the vaccination and boy, it did a number on me at first. It was awful and I am beyond grateful that it is over. I felt so terrible, but surprisingly as the symptoms and side effects decreased and vanished, with it left most of the RA pain and I gained back flexibility and being able to complete tasks with even less effort and pain. I was able to take Cinnamon on a three mile hike, but struggled to get a mile in the next day. Feeling better is not consistent yet and it’s still unpredictable, but changes are noticed and appreciated beyond words. And so it came to be that while cooking up a scrumptious meal in the tiny abode, music playing not so softly in the background, I soon found my feet shuffling over the narrow floor, dancing and smiling from ear to ear while Cinnamon joined me in her own way. If you think that energy and vibration is not a thing, think again, as this little soul always knows when I am sad, when I am hurt, when I am happy and most of all when it’s time to go on a walk or play cheeky monkey. She’ll be the first to comfort me when needed and her regular check ins are a given. Her energy matches mine to the T, and together we bring out our feisty side. She is my heart and I will miss dearly when I’m in Germany.

Life is a dance and I say Dear Dance. Enlighten what’s dark in me…strengthen what’s weak in me….mend what’s broken in me…bind what’s bruised in me…heal what’s sick in me and lastly, revive whatever peace and love that has died in me.

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

13 thoughts on “Dear Dance of Life

  1. So, the news item about some lady being kicked off a plane for dancing in the aisles should be taken with a grain of salt? Go girl, it is amazing when we do make a decision and finally ‘let go’ its accompanying stress. You’ve done well my friend 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 😂 🤣

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a good story pausing in a good place. I’m sad to hear about your chronic pain, and trying to imagine it. At 81 I’m starting to feel “those little aches and pains” that people warned me about : not comparable but a premonition. So I sometimes play with dancing only with my arms or head or fingers, sort of practicing for a less mobile future. Dance on!

    Like

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