Collaborating between body, mind, and soul

On Saturday I got my second Covid vaccination and it did quite a number on me. Besides the usual sore arm ( by the way worse this time compared to the first dose) from the injection side, I had several unpleasant and scary side effects. The day after getting the shot, I felt like I was going to die. It started with dizziness, a headache out of this world I couldn’t shake, unable to do much of anything, no appetite whatsoever, chills alternating with heatwaves and chest pain, particularly the heart which quickly became my most important concern. I took it easy and chilled for most of the day, listening to my body and it’s needs. Throughout it all, I became very emotional and hard on myself. I had planned things I wanted and needed to get done. Needless to say they didn’t get done and I had to remind myself several times to extend kindness and understanding to myself instead of being frustrated with myself. Here, I willingly injected a foreign substance into my body and now that my body was reacting, I was going to be mad at it? I knew that I had to dig for some understanding and compassion for myself and that my attitude wasn’t right. With this kind of understanding I managed my way through the day and although I didn’t improve on a physical level, I did improve on a mental and emotional side. I went to sit on the patio, soaking up the 70 degree weather which felt perfect to me. And when the chills returned, I cuddled under a blanket and sipped hot tea, only to be followed by another heatwave where breathing became difficult to manage. The shortness of breath was another big concern and each time it happened, I focused myself on intentional breathing techniques that helped a great deal. All you have to do is close your eyes, try to remain as calm as possible and feel the air going in and out of your body. Feel it traveling from your nose down to your throat, all the way to the core of your being. Relax…

Monday, the day after, the nice 70 degree weather had vanished which I knew it would, but I was surprised to open the door and find a white covered world in the backyard. It was snowing for the first time and even Cinnamon seemed surprised. Along with the summer like weather all of my symptoms vanished and I am feeling good today. What a relief and I wonder which one was worse. The first dose with milder symptoms that dragged out nearly a week. Or the second dose with heavy symptoms, but you are quickly over with within a day. I hope it lasts and that the worst is behind me. Today I actually feel like I have some energy and it’s perfect timing to pack up some summer clothing and bring the heavier armory out of hiding. Plus I got some new flannel sheets and a new heating blanket that is waiting to be broke in. With a low down to 19 degrees overnight, I think the timing is perfect.

Musing about what happened with the second dose and how it affected me, I believe this too was a lesson and I believe that I aced it. I am very pleased with how I handled the symptoms for the most part. Being able to recognize what was going on and listening to my body instead of pushing on like so many other times and bringing myself to the max of destruction and harm, not heeding the signs of my body. For turning frustration into compassion and understanding for myself, changing my attitude and outlook all together. For finding kindness and love for myself and for talking myself through the rough bits, with words and exercises. For the first time it felt like a collaboration, like teamwork with my body. We were on the same team and we were equally supporting each other. There was no longer a separation between the mind and the body. Everything had joined together as one. Today, back at the tiny abode, a storm is still brewing outside. I am cozy and warm while I sit back and watch the clouds pass by. The red sail spanning over the hammock and it’s attached prayer flags are being lifted up and down by the wind. A great furry snuggle bug (Cinnamon) is right besides me and feels perfectly content, just like her human.