Posted in Awareness, Journey, Life

A slight case of panic

My Motorcycle or what used to be (mine)

A slight case of panic set in the other day, putting into perspective that there is still so much to be done and less than two weeks left to go. For a moment I felt overwhelmed, not knowing if we’d make the deadline, as if we even had a chance to miss it. We have to be out no if’s and but’s and no doubt about it.

Again the real estate agent called asking if we are able to be out sooner. Pffft. I am starting to get annoyed to say the least. In part because it has turned into a case of the new owners this and the new owners that. Yesterday packages and mail already delivered in their name. A email from the realtor Assistent arrived wanting to know the measurements of the dishwasher and stove. It finally did get the better of me and I respectfully stated (after sending the measurements) that I hope no dishwasher or stove will show up prior to our contract date of vacating this house. Mail should not be sent until the date of procession and although it’s not that big of a deal, it’s the principal and a feeling of being pushed out. It was too much, too pushy, and it just has to wait a few more days. I asked to respectfully and considerably have the chance to say good bye to this house, to our life as we knew it and the time we have spent here.

The whole thing reminded me a little bit about an incident at a campsite. It was morning and we were slowly packing up. Gathering our stuff to sit back for a bit enjoying the views one last time before check out to enjoy the peace and what was an awesome site. We hadn’t even finished packing as someone already moved in, plopping their stuff right on the ground in front of us. Well…actually I am still taken back a bit by the rudeness encountered and now in hindsight, I realize that it’s trauma within me, a wound although small, but that hasn’t fully healed. Receiving that email yesterday triggered that same wound, feeling pushed out, invaded, disrespected. And this time I stood up for myself. Not because I had to defend myself but because it was the right thing to do and if nobody ever says anything, nobody will learn a lesson. But will they? They’ll probably have no clue where I’m coming from, thinking I was a B…., but that doesn’t really matter here does it!!! What’s important is that you understand these patterns within, know why you react the way you do, not lose yourself in the process of it and grabbing the opportunity at hand to address these wounds, big and small. Only then is negative energy transformed and released, allowing burdens to fall to the wayside.

The day was otherwise productive. It started slow and I definitely work better later in the day, but the panic of not knowing if we make the deadline, actually turned into a little less stress and a glimmer light came through once more. Another run was made to the storage facility, cars loaded to the brim. My mustang was sold, my motorcycle was sold, some of the big pieces we were worried about he tying stuck with. Earlier in the week, the dining room table and chairs went, leaving only the build in breakfast bar and two make shift chairs with a place to eat. Last night our two couches, plus the big armchair with ottoman went as well, leaving no more place to sit in front of the TV and take a load off at the end of the day. It was 8:30 PM by the time we finished disassembling one of the beds, drag it downstairs and put it back together in the living room. Tired and exhausted, everybody plopped down, including Cinnamon to take a short rest before bed. Haha taking a rest in bed before bed. Well you know what I mean. Before actually going to sleep I mean.

Sweet dreams, let’s do it all over again tomorrow.

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

14 thoughts on “A slight case of panic

  1. My dear friend, it is indeed difficult to stand in our hearts space when someone is poking it, and exactly in its so recent and raw wounds like that. I defy a saintly person to smile under those circumstances…plus, they too get a lesson from poking raw hearts. If you bite their heads off and feed them a serving of ‘think before you speak’, so be it 😂 🤣
    A side note, and probably something you may have seen (and felt) already…what if the deal suddenly fell through and you had to move back into the ‘old’ place. Forget the packing and all that, just how would you feel to be ‘back’ in that space? See, you’ve already moved beyond it, healing from what went before…and it’s only been a month. How does Celine’s song go…’My Heart Will Go On’ ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh I feel for you and nerve racking it is. We are out next Wednesday and the new owners already have deliveries scheduled prior to that day, mail delivered and keep asking for things like the dishwasher dimensions etc. No respect.
      In your case look at it from this way. I’m not sure if you are looking at buying again, but moving into an apartment will give you time to strike when the market falls out and it’s a buyers game again. Best of luck and a smooth transition.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That would make me angry, as well. Rudeness is not necessary. When I sold mom’s house I was startled to find the utilities had been changed over to the new owners before the closing date. But, I was a million miles away and the new owners own a lot of the land and housing in the area and can ‘talk’ anyone into their point of view. You are doing GREAT!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Two pallets of hardwood flooring arrived this morning. In the middle of the driveway and luckily we noticed before the driver took off. Blocking my car, blocking the movers coming next Wednesday. Unreal.
      Thank you my sister. You’ve been through it and you knew firsthand. Big love to you.

      Like

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