Posted in Holidays, Love, Mom

Dear Mom – Heavenly Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day in heaven. Today is the day that we celebrate and give thanks to all the wonderful things you do, just a little more than usual. For all the hard work, the love, and the sacrifices that go into making you so special and who you are. A mother. Today we reflect this love and show our appreciation for a special person like no other. You….

To be honest with you, I am struggling today and it’s an emotional one for me. Much is going on in my life right now. Add a thing like Mother’s Day and the emotions are quadrupled. Fact is, I miss you and no matter how much time passes, that empty void, that hole that is left behind from losing a loved one, just never fills again. Death and loss changes a person and it’s a pain that will be with you for the rest of your life.

Remembering you, I did things a little different this year. I can’t visit your grave, nor can I bring and place flowers for you there. But I don’t think that I need to be at that particular spot to honor you and to show my love and respect for you. You are with me in spirit wherever I am and that is not bound to being in Germany or at your place of rest.

I didn’t want to get a bouquet of flowers that wilts and dies without a trace in 7 days. I got a plant for you, dedicated to your memory and today, which will be around for some time to be enjoyed. Really what I wanted to do is plant a tree for you, but it will have to wait a little as I won’t have a permanent address for awhile. I want your tree to be wherever I see myself living out the rest of my life. You always loved purple and it was your favorite color. Seeing this little plant with it’s purple centers reminded me of you and I knew you’d like it.

Mom, there is not a day that goes by where you don’t cross my mind in some ways. It’s still hard to find the words sorting all the feelings, but even that I know that I don’t have to convey or try to explain. You can now see it all, even the things you struggled with seeing while you were still here in the physical. You now know my heart and you see the unconditional love it has always held for you.

I love you and miss you.

Author:

We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

4 thoughts on “Dear Mom – Heavenly Mother’s Day

  1. I also lost my momin 2011..to liver cancer…I feel I had..literally little time with her.she was gone most of my childhood..and I love not got to be with her..duri g a few years..of highschool..then three of college…so…when my siblings talk about her..how she’s as this…person..I did t know..I feel ..I guess..jealousy, hurt..and confusion..and..anger..mostly hurt. Why she didn’t tell me..any of these..facts…makes me wo der…if she didn’t trust..me..or .didn’t have the time…I too..don’t care for mother’s day..or father’s…just..does t mean anything to me anymore.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am so sorry to hear that and it sounds like there is much pain that surrounds the memory and time with your Mom. It is with me as well and I understand what you are saying, although I have been an only child, chasing her love and approval all of my life. We never had a mother daughter relationship until the very end when time slipped right through our hands. I wasn’t there as she passed and all of a sudden she was gone. No note, no letter, nothing. It was and still is hard to find closure to so many questions that will remain unanswered.
      Sending love and light your way and a big hug.

      Like

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