Posted in Goals, Inspiration, Life

Preventing derailment

It started with an honest look back at the end of 2020 to take stock of the year just passed. I wrote the post to take inventory and to assess myself, reminding myself about what worked for me, to take a look at the shortcomings, where I was at the moment, what needed to be done, and where I see myself down the road. It was an awful lot of information as I took myself through the trials and tribulations of the past year, as well as the successes.

Looking at the blog I felt that I took on a bigger role as a cheerleader, spreading inspiration wherever I could. So much though that I got away from telling this warriors story. I felt that it was something that was needed as the world and many of us struggled. It was a year that required motivation and healing on many levels, for many of us,physically and mentally and you could say, I kind of slipped into my own role trying to bring this to the table as I went with the flow of what felt natural.

At the beginning of 2021, I made a promise to myself, listing all my thoughts and goals, mainly showing support and understanding for myself, being my biggest fan and supporter. I was asking all versions of myself to join forces for one common goal. Does this goal have a name, a clear picture, a schedule and plan of how it is to unfold? No it doesn’t, other than 2021 needs to be the year for big changes. There are still lose ends and not all questions have answers, but I am being encouraged to just take that leap of faith. That I don’t need all the answer and that I should trust the universe as things will fall into place. While I know and believe in such a theory, it’s always a little different to action it, isn’t it?

Eight days into the new year, I am recognizing old familiar patterns. The initial “gung ho”, new year – new me, the drive, the motivation is slowly fizzing out as routine and the old familiar wants to claim a hold of me once more. And yet something is different and the old “let’s just plug away, do what you can, here and there, depending on health and how I feel”, is taken on a different sense of urgency, as if time is running out, as if I don’t have or don’t want to wait another year to transpire how the past 16 years have past for the most part. There is a new drive that is preventing derailment and that is pushing me to go beyond my best and do more. Is such even possible? Maybe I can and haven’t given myself enough credit, maybe it needs to be more structured, planned, broken down into actual and achievable steps. Maybe I need to set goal, daily, weekly, monthly goals. Maybe…who knows what…maybe.

I am learning as to why New Years resolutions have such a high failing percentage. We spend a few hours assessing ourselves, come up with something clever that sits well with our soul, that soothes our being and makes us feel like we are on track, making progress. We finally got it figured out and this is going to be our year for sure. We are hopeful and motivated. But then, feeling good and all about ourselves, we drop it and forget it. Maybe we push a little, as we enjoy that feeling of euphoria, but it always fades, soon or later. Life swoops us up, gets busy, throws curveball’s our way and we postpone our dreams. Next week we try again, won’t we, until we cave in and our goals become a distant memory. We don’t like to think about it much, because it only makes us sad, and perhaps there comes a point after several failed attempts that we avoid it all together. It’s like we learn to predict the outcome, knowing exactly what is going to happen. Subconsciously it’s our effort to protect ourselves from disappointment and hurt. But subconsciously it’s also the end of our dreams and the possibility of achieving them.

Eight days into the new year, I am ready to make a new promise to myself. For one to review the promise I made at the beginning of the year as often as I need to. To remind myself what’s in my heart and to let it stand as self motivation. I might even print it out to place somewhere visible where I can see it every day. A visible reminder.

Second, I know that it takes more than an initial plan. I am realizing that it takes hard work, an honest look and a promise to myself each and every month. Recapping the year at the end is simply not enough and I believe that if we want to stay on track, we should recap each month to keep us flexible and on track. At least that is what I decided to do. This monthly recap will include a recap of my daily photographs seeing and magic and beauty in every day.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

15 thoughts on “Preventing derailment

  1. I was blessed with something that most people would find a little ‘terrifying’. But to have my ‘life’ removed gave me something very profound…an appreciation of ‘life’…all of it, whether to take a breath or see a lake, or just smell a flower.
    Oh I will change in many ways, but to realise so well in what I do have allows me to ‘let go’ trying for anything. I will attract exactly what is good for me…but in the meantime I shall just appreciate what I have…and it is indeed very, very beautiful.
    Pssst, don’t tell anyone but even the chocolate has taken a back seat. Sitting in the fridge (its very warm over here), and being bypassed for an apple must be very depressing for the poor things…but you know how it is…’an apple a day’…oh, and to just stand on my balcony and breathe 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋 😂 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you my friend and it’s always the struggles that teach us the most profound and beautiful lessons. And thank you for sharing it with all of us.
      And don’t feel bad for the chocolate. You are still protecting it and it’s in the fridge with all that heat isn’t it 🤪😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I do love looking back on my life, and I make sure I embrace all my moves, knowing I did the best I could. Over the years i discovered the more I organised myself the more I stayed in my mind and got myself into trouble by not following my feelings in each moment and trusting my guidance that Barbara really cannot comprehend as we allow ourselves to walk in new beautiful pastures.
    Sending you much love and wishes to enjoy this new year just how you live it❤️ love Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the insight of staying more in mind the more you organized yourself. I fear that could happen to me as well and I’m a person that lives from the heart and the emotional world rather than the practical head space. Thank you so much for sharing this. I think I got my answer 😉. Blessings and much love to you my beautiful friend. ❤️x


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