Posted in Inspiration, Spirit animals

Birthday countdown Day 3 – Allowing the feelings

It’s getting closer and the countdown to my birthday is getting shorter. I dedicated the preceding week to pampering myself and to fill it with things to keep my spirits high. With so much going on lately and so many break throughs, new found motivations, and successes, my spirit should be soaring you would think, but it doesn’t. There is one huge hurdle still needing to be conquered and I knew this week would be tough for various reasons. For one in the sense that Mom’s birthday is one day before mine and she would have turned 82 this year. How does one keep their spirit high when there is still a loss, still grief, still coming to terms with that empty hole that will never be filled again?

To some degree I have to smile, because I recognize my old faithful attempts, looking for an intervention in times like these. When I look for something to keep me out of the depths of despair and sadness. This happens on a subconscious level and just like that, birthday week was created to come to the rescue. It has worked more or less, although the thought process and the intentions are there, and good, reality is a different thing and is seldom controlled in such manner. I know it’s important to recognize those feelings and to not suppress them. They too have a place and if kept inside of yourself do harm in ways you don’t need. It’s a delicate balance, like a teeter totter, sometimes being up and other times dropping low.

On my hike yesterday I saw this tiny frog. He was not bigger than the size of a quarter and it’s only my second one I’ve seen in all the years hiking. He came with a message for me to do a physical cleanse and detoxify my body. I was also encouraged to do an emotional cleanse by letting myself really feel my emotions, to cry as often as I need to in order to clear and release any emotional toxicity. To sing and chant out loud would help improve balance, be at peace, and connect to the divine. Frog was letting me know that I was entering into a time of plenty and abundance, being the start of a slow and steady transformational process. A movement from an old life to a new life.

And that itself is reason enough to release the tears of a challenging old life, and welcome a new one filled with everything I already carry inside of me. Today is all about slowing the feelings and cleansing my soul and a reminder for you to acknowledge those feelings and allow them pass.


We are the co-creators of our life and the time is now. More than ever are we needed to support Mother Earth and each other. Together we discover and explore our unique gifts in times of strengths, in times we lean on each other, and in times when we learn from each other. This blog started as an outlet and what I ultimately called my “Warriors Journey.” It was a way to document the ups and downs of my life, sharing my hardships as well as my successes. It showcased the struggles, but more important the ways of how to overcome them. Although we are warriors each and every day, I realized that having to be a warrior, comes from a place of pain. I decided to rename this blog, and “Phoenix Rising” now stands for the story of overcoming such a painful place. My motivation for this blog hasn’t changed and I hope to share inspiration and hope, to create a sense of belonging, a space of being heard, and connecting with like minded beings who instill a sense of oneness. We are never alone, and we are unstoppable in the pursuit of what sets our soul on fire. Who I am in a nutshell... 
I am an energy healer and Reiki Master. I am surviving a chronic disease that I’ve sent into remission three times since my initial bout, 15 years ago. I continuously challenge the status quo and by doing so I change my stars. I am a believer that anything is possible. I am a hopeless romantic and I believe that true love exists on various levels. I am an optimist that will always see the glass as half full. I am a dreamer, believing in endless possibilities. Not even the sky is the limit. I have jumped off of the hamster wheel, and I am writing a new chapter. I am chasing my Nirvana to support my most authentic self. This is my story, I am that Phoenix and I am rising from the ashes. Namaste 🙏🏼💙🦋

4 thoughts on “Birthday countdown Day 3 – Allowing the feelings

  1. Well done dear lady. To acknowledge those feelings are a part of that change is a step beyond them already, in that acceptance. You are changing a lot because of that, even the frog would have smiled with love as he felt you walk on by…and your mom too ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙏🏼 thank you so much for your kind words my dear friend. They always mean so much and cradle me in comfort. There are relapses and weak moments but they are part of the journey and won’t change how far I have come. Just a tougher week that’s all and everything is heading or already is as it it meant to be. I am at peace with it although it’s hard at times. ❤️🦋🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

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