It was a day of tears, a day of sadness, relief, and letting go, surrendering all that is not within my control. It was also a day of revaluation, coming to new terms, and a day of signs and what’s to come.
The days around Dad’s birthday are always tough for me. Still, nothing has changed after all these years, and I miss him. I got up and soon recognized a pattern that was all too familiar. Acting silly, trying to make light of things, and being funny, until I was reaching the point of exhaustion, and the realization of what was going on. I was trying to pull myself out of the rut, the sadness that slowly grew inside. It’s as if I become my own cheerleader and this usually goes on for a moment or two until I catch on to what is happening. After realizing what I was doing, the wall dropped and it was as giving myself permission to be sad, to cry, and to stop trying. The time has come to acknowledge those feelings, and allow them to pass, for they surely would, eventually anyways. It was around that time that I found out that the mortgage company would defer my house payments for three month, interest free. I was so emotional about receiving t news and this much needed break, that immediately I burst into tears, hands clasped together in prayer posture, while looking up and thanking my guardian angel and the universe.
Later that day I drew a oracle card, intended with a message for the world, for all of us. I drew the gentle gardener. Here is it’s message.
The gentle gardener is visiting you at this moment in your life to remind you that your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs create the reality you experience. She is the embodiment of the energy within you that is sent out into the field of co-creation and ensures that all that you are is reflected in the world of form. Are you aware of your thoughts? What is their quality?
Believe in limitless possibility and you will see miracles unfold. The gentle gardener guarantees the integrity of everything you send out into the world. Stay positive and expect a wondrous return.
Your garden is abundant with beauty.
So what does one issue have to do with the other? Well for me it was an emotional day, dealing with the anniversary of Dad’s death and the scars that are still here many years later. The answer from the mortgage company actually brought a huge relief for worries and burdens I have carried and which have weighed heavy on me. Especially during these times. I feel the universe was giving me a break to gather new strengths under that normally heavy load. Further it was guidance as far as pursuing my own business and Etsy shop I recently opened. It was a message in regards to the current quarantine, a time that can easily get to all of us, as we feel locked up and so restricted. I used to say that I won’t get bored for a long time staying at home and I still don’t. But I miss the freedom of getting out when I want to, spending time with friends and loved ones, and village walks are getting old and are not enough. The days seem to have fallen into a routine, a rut that repeats every day, and I don’t like it. I was never a fan of routines.
Drawing this card was a reminder for me to gently realign my focus. I don’t have control of what is going on in the world, but how can I change my thoughts, and how can I expect a wondrous return in regards to the energy I am investing now? I believe it’s a question we should all ask ourselves. There has to be more than just making the days go by, one after another, while we wait. With that said, what can you do now, while everything is restricted, so you can reap the rewards later? Can you take an online class? Pursue a hobby you always wanted to learn more about? Can you become an advocate for your family and friend, spreading positivity and hope? Couldn’t we all use something extra to hold onto right now?
And here is another thing the gentle gardeners reminded me about. Whether we tend to a physical garden, or the garden of our mind, we will always get what we direct our focus on. With positive reinforcements that include our thoughts and outlook on any given situation, with a little love and effort we are rewarded with flowers and blooms, aromas and wildlife, a sense of beauty and peace, a calm and healing that soothes our own well being. On the contrary, if we consider what negativity and neglect brings us, the picture I see is much different. When we are filled with fear, anger, and not caring, our garden as seen before can’t exist. I see a picture that is dark, dead and overrun by weeds. I see hardship and a life that is much harder on ourselves and everyone we come in contact with. I hope these little examples and my experience can show you that we do have some control on how we tend to the garden within ourselves and the garden in our world.
Choose wildly 😉