Mom spent the majority of her life alone, in solitude, within her own four walls. After the early accidental death of my father, she ventured out a few times trying to connect with someone but it never worked out. People often wondered why she choose to spend her life alone, she was still so young and had the majority of her life ahead of herself. I would say that my Dad set the bar pretty high with the way he loved her. She knew exactly what she wanted, what she was used to and wasn’t she wasn’t willing compromise. I believe that he was her soulmate. That she couldn’t accept less and as sweet as it may sound, it also was heartbreaking because it left her alone for the rest of her life.
So what is a soulmate?
A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet. A connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong, and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.
So what is this post about and what am I saying?
I say that she didn’t choose to be alone. She simply chose to love herself more. It required her to be the love of her own life because nobody cane along to fulfill that position.
I believe in soulmates, and that connection that is a knowing deep inside, a comfort that is soothing and doesn’t require words and explanations. I believe it starts with chemistry, something familiar yet exciting. A place we call home, that nourishes our comfort and well being. It doesn’t need to be justified or explained, it is something you feel. I believe that we all chase this kind of love and it’s something we all want. In the process of it and while setting our own standards, we should remember that nothing is ever perfect. Even soulmates are a work in progress as you learn about each other and grow together.
And although I understand Mom’s decision and the reasons behind it, I can’t help but wonder if her expectations perhaps where set too high. So the moral of this post is to give yourself and each other a break. Nobody is perfect and if you are willing to put in the work, you will feel that eventually you will have the perfect ending after all.