Castle in Germany
I woke up kind of different today. I woke up early. It’s windy outside and snow is in the forecast, although the sun is shining right now. But don’t be fooled, this can change quickly in the mountains.
Perhaps I feel down with allergies that have been miserable for nearly the whole half of the new year. I’m allergenic you something and it has attacked mainly my eyes, leaving them swollen, itchy, red with flaky skin even. It’s uncomfortable no doubt and maybe it is just finally getting to me as I wait every day for this to pass and return to normal.
Maybe I dreamt something weird. Strange how I never really remembered my dreams and now they have become quite vivid. And weird. I imagine it’s stuff on my mind with Germany and the house, with things being unresolved. Trying to figure out the next move, trying to stabilize my health to earn an income. Do I really want to get lost in a regular job again? I think I know the answer but then I haven’t figured out how to live on air alone either. Yet, but I do have options.
I woke up thinking about Mom today and how long it has been since I talked to her. Today I wished I could talk to her and I miss her. It’s been nearly four month since she has gone. I miss going to the grave to just look after everything. I miss hearing her voice. Today is just one of those days and I guess it matches the storms outside. Time to pick myself up and get on with it. The best way is to allow myself to feel those feelings and acknowledge their place in my life and then move on.